It's preferable to having someone else's, I suppose. Just make sure you take proper care of him. You know, a nice, large terrarium, a water bottle filled with Miller High Life, a newspaper to yell at, dad stuff.
Welcome to Swiping Left. We're here to help YOU relieve a little bit of stress by talking about bad, weird, and creepy profiles in the world of online dating. We perform dramatic, silly, and often profane readings of dating profiles from across the web. So, join us for a few laughs at the bizarre things some people have written in the pursuit of companionship.
You can find us on Twitter @SwipeLeftPod and email us at [email protected].
And remember, don't touch any butts without permission.