Table Rush Talk Show

Walking on the beach at 8:00 in the morning leads to some rambling talking and ideas.  I’m purposefully taking it slow this morning and it feels good.  But boy that mediation was unruly.  If my mediation was this unruly what is my day gonna be like?

Episode notes:

Walking on the Ocean.  Tide is a low .47 ft on the rise which means I can walk on the whole beach.  There is no hurry this morning.  What if I just lolly gagged?  See things that I normally see.  It’s called the marine layer :).  In my young 50’s words that pop into my brain don’t pop in as much.  Noticing how I do forget a word now and then.  This mind may perhaps be part of one universal mind.  The point of moving slow is…  I’d hit the “it’s time to reach out to speakers mark.”  And it’s not happening as fast as I thought it was.  A friend likes to say for someone who doesn’t have a lot to do I sure have a lot to do.  “The Tools For A Good Life Summit?”  Do you want to skip your midlife crisis or make through the one you’re in…?  Was gonna be the last Monday Tues Wed of June (It’s not anymore, it’s now July.)  Finding my who to help with the tech.  In the meditation this morning I was beating myself up.  It was an unruly one.  If my mediation was this unruly what is my day gonna be like?  Why the need to get things done?

To stay in the moment and be in your day!  Again, what if there’s no hurry?  What if it’s meant to be at a later time?  What if I were to step away?  What if there was no urgency for the rest of my life?  What if the path is simply graciously provided me be the universe? Perhaps there is no urgency and that’s ok.

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Robert and I were having a conversation a few days before…  He’d had some stressors in his life.  Job change, dad passing, kid issues.  Talking about life as A Type’ish dads and then things can go sideways.   And I thought we need to record an episode.

In part two Robert sheds some emotions and his daughter begins to heal.

Episode notes:

4 kids 2 shiny 2 troubled.  21, 20, 18, 16.  Boy girl boy girl.  And I’m gonna say that they are all shiny.  I wouldn’t say troubled.  I would say “needing a little help on their journey”.  Some journeys are a little more traditional from a societal standpoint and some are not.

he did college.  Took him to 30 till he graduated.  Speaking of his kids brings tears of love to his eyes.  He has a really geeky household.  All his kids did well in school.  All can recite 100 digits of Pie lol.  One son get’s his welding cert when he was 14.  His daughter who is 16 an incredible student and a gifted artist.

Goal to have all kids be self sufficient…  The last two kids just needed a little encouragement in their journey.  Which brings up his thoughts of where did he fail, “what did I do wrong.”

As a parents, as a family, they have had this full arc of experience.

Truly accepting what the they want for their path (his kids) and excepting that.  So you’re turning 18, I hear you want to drop out…  Ok lets do this.  

It’s the realization that you don’t have the skills to help your kids anymore (once they hit a certain age).  I feel worthless…  My son is struggling and my daughter…  It’s like…  How can I not help them,  how can I just not sit down with them now and help them.  (The feelings bring robert to some tears).  This is where we need other people to come in and we have to trust the professionals.  And be a part of it.  And recognize we can’t do this alone.  “You feel like you’re giving up”.

It’s beautiful looking back to see how great my son is doing and I’m hopeful that will be the same for my daughters journey.  She has more good moments now than bad moments…

Our number one job as a parent is to keep our kids safe.  I just never thought it would be keeping them safe from themselves.  

I lost my dad, I lost my mentor of 15 years, my mom moved away…  I literally thought I was gonna loose my shit a couple times…  It was great to have a wife who is so strong.  And she would just hold me.

Being open and sharing has been really helpful.  There are so many parents who are going through similar things.  This suicidality is not unique today.  Unfortunately it is front and center with a lot of these young kids.  We just have to get down to their level and work with them on it.

In any age group she was volunteering…  There weren’t any signs of this.  We were just shocked.  She has always been the most charming person in our household hands down.  Outside appearances were she’s just amazing…  So when this started to happen…  She literally went to the darkest place possible.  “I’m just waiting until I get a chance to do this again”.  “I know I’m not gonna live older than 18…”  To see that then and now in her journey where she’s gots moments she wants to live she wants to go to college.  And her dog.  

There are times where she still doesn’t want to be here.  That’s the part I don’t understand.  I’ve got to let go, bring in the right people.  It’s a long journey.  She’s not broken, there’s nothing to fix.  Accept her right where she is for now.  

…years ago I would have dismissed it as like just get over it.  Let me get a bigger boot and kick  you in the ass…  etc.

I have a new compassion for other parents.  Your mind is cable of directing you in a place that’s really dark…

Inherently we live in a society where we stack things, where we rank things…  There is so little in this world that we have any control over.  Right now just be present.  Each of my children has a different path.  At the end of the day every moment is unique.

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The candle rant towards the end might just be my best rant ever…  I also wonder “what is going to be the state of my hair during the interviews?”.  And how that is representative of the egoic battle.  The candle rant materializes because I receive a random text from Cooper, my 20yr old, about some candles I’d given him for his birthday.  And that text made my heart shine!  ...And even more!

Episode notes:

With the intention of repurposing content I have my light more proper in my fledgling recording studio.  

I get to start reaching out to my influencer list.  Current headline, “Want to skip your midlife crisis or get through the one you’re in…”

Lost track.  Found track.  Lost my voice.  Will I edit this madness out.  The lighting is proper.

“The Tools For A Good Life Summit”.   “…We cover everything from the scientific to the metaphysic and from the ancient to the modern.”  How fun is that gonna be!

That’s where I’ve ended up…   After all those months of shenaniganizing…  The backs and forth the ups and downs.

As I interview people, what is gonna be the state of my hair?  Let it be what it’s gonna be :).  Let it be it’s gonna be fun.  It’s representative of that egoic battle.  That the shiny objects matter.  That I look right that it matters, that I sound right and that it matters…

…another topic.  If I survive this Summit my next one will be “Modern Mystics Summit”.  I’m putting that out there because I’m trying to put all ideas out there.  There are unlimited Ideas and Unlimited Content…  Thank you Kyle Cease.  He was the first one that I could really start embracing that thought.

In the mortgage business I’d have these ideas…  And I better keep them inside for when I want to use them.  Ironically I can’t even remember what they are :).

God bless if I am able to share an idea and somebody else is able to run with it.  That’s progress for Mischa.  I need to give it away for free.  Share share share.

II got this great text from my son Cooper.  He’s a young twenty at the time of this recording.  I gave him some candles for his bday.  I do love my candles.  The current chakra candles just smell really good.  But back when I was in a state of mental distress they were saving my ass!  Not Turtle Island they are “Aloha Bay”!

I’m not apposed to some incense or sage now and then.  Especially the little bottles of sage spray.   I used to use it at the end of my yoga classes that I taught when everyone was in Shavasana…  So good.

But Coops has picked up some of those things…  He will have some of those Zenful, or mindfulness tools…  It’s funny how candle is a mindfulness tool.  Nah it’s just a candle.  Oh no, it’s part of mindfulness strategy sir.  Do you realize what you have? The power that you have with that candle?  It can be life changing.  I’m not sure which part of the spectrum you fall on?  “I like to see the flickering light.” or “Its like your conduit to god.”

So I give Coops the candles for his bday…  Do whatever you want with them, re-gift em to your girl friend…  So just the other day he sent me the coolest text out of nowhere…  He took a picture of a couple of them burning… “Hey I just dug these up!  …I love the money smell and the abundance smell”   …It was so sweet!  Omg to get a random text from your 20 yr old son.  That is like a massive gift.

Life is so good.  I am going to have to remember the candle rant.  Is it a little flickering light that makes you happy or is it a conduit to God for you?  Thank you universe for that thought!

Time to reach out to the speakers…  And a little riff on the summit!  It’s gonna be rad.  Who knows what the hair is gonna look like on any particular day that I interview someone.  That is gonna be half the fun people.

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I’m having some very cool shifts that I’m trying to learn how to talk about.  And as the clock ticks I’m utilizing a couple of simple prayers to stay in the moment and see people in a new light…  I think I was in the zone on this one.

Episode notes:

It’s weird.  I’m in this space of lack of creativity.  Maybe it’s due to my first covid shot.  There is a shift in awareness.  It’s put a halt to my pontification.  

Part of it stems from as I’ve started committing to finding more speakers for my summit.  That’s my number one priority each day.  I was hoping for finding 4 potential speakers per day.  Turns out it’s one or two!   The amount of time I’m willing to commit to this part of the project…  Dwindled!  “I’ve got all day to get 10 or 15 people!  I got none.”

I’ve made a very strong effort to prioritize interactions with people.  Taking calls and moments with friends and prioritizing those interactions, and practicing interacting in a certain way.  With as little expectation as possible, “Help me see everyone I meet today with present eyes.”  With that ideal.  And it’s been really cool.

I’ve been having some very powerful in the moment moments.  It’s giving me an opportunity to really practice being in the moment.  And trusting.  As the fears come up with, what’s next with the summit, what’s next with the speakers.  And coming back to the moment.  And using a prayer or two to achieve that.  “God is not fear but love.  If I can get out of a fear state into a love state.  Do I want the shiny ego objects?  Or do I want peace, love, freedom in the moment?  Perhaps love, peace, freedom in the moment doesn’t preclude the shiny object.  It just becomes irrelevant as to whether the shiny object manifests.  

The shiny objects can be successes, income streams, relationships.  Do I have a significant other.  Or am I dating and the rewards of dating.

It can be notoriety…  With the social media, the metrics to validate notoriety.  Not saying it’s bad.  Just am I willing to let it go.  The choice is mine.  The choice is yours.

I’ve found enlightenment so everyone needs to find enlightenment.  Perhaps they already have and I’m just late to the game.

It was a good mediation and a good ACIM.  “I need do nothing.”  Such a great thought.

I still have stream of conscious thoughts so I can create episodes, i had fear I lost it.

I can just let go of that and it will work out how it’s supposed to.

Back to the shift…  I’m really seeing more interconnectivity between people places and things in a beautiful way.  And how that illusion of separation is dissipating.  And it’s really cool.

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My 20 year old son Cooper came over for breakfast…  I had lured him with an important piece of mail…  As I’m making him breakfast I trust my intuition and start telling him stories that I would have usually played much closer to the vest.  And the results were amazing!  You may want to try the same.

Episode notes:

I notice that I say “ta” a lot, vs “to”.  And I notice how a lot of people of note do that too.  Also “fur” for “for”.

Cooper, my 20 year old, was over at the house to grab a piece of mail.  When he has an important piece of mail he comes by and grabs it and we have an opportunity to interact and say hi.  Sometimes he just says a little “hi” and then takes a nap on the couch and then scurries away…

So Cooper…  He came back to grab his piece of mail that was important enough that I lured him to his dad's house…

For whatever reason I started telling him some stories…  how I invested in a startup…  and now it was worth nothing…  But was interesting is that I told him that because it is information that I usually play a lot closer to the vest.  And my son says “no wonder you're a hippy!”  “That is insanity, that is stressful!”

And the story of how I worked at a dot com and gotten some stock options…  and overnight the stock options…  that were all of the sudden worth $60,000…  But because of the 6 month vesting period they became worthless.  

I was telling how much I loved being broke in my youth, living in garages, galavanting around the western United States.

…At the end of the conversation, he had had so much fun, he said he’s coming over on his next day off!  And I was struck in that moment where due to my all of a sudden vulnerability…  we had a rich amazing morning :).  

The point of the point of the point is…  Be willing to show vulnerability.  Perhaps be willing to tell your kids things that you think are out of their pay grade…  Fears, trusts, all these silly layers.  You figure out what it is yourself.  

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I talk a bunch about meditation, my imperfections when it comes to mediation, and one of the main reasons I meditate.  An interesting book and the definition of atheist (which I didn't give on the episode, opps) starts the thought loop on how  I think atheists are spiritual.  And it turns out that many people may meditate for reasons other than me. 

Episode notes:

It could be an outtake day…  Where my thoughts are so scattered and open thought loops go no where…  Where my thoughts are so scattered I throw the episode into the “Save it for another day folder”.

I used to teach yoga, the asana part.  I believe someone can do yoga without doing the “asana” part.  As yoga is a philosophy.

It might be time to start up the home practice again…  Maybe teach again?  I’m lucky I can ping in and out of things I want to do.

I’ve done a little home yoga.  But have tended to do more classes at studios. 

As I’m meditating a lot, my posture can start to drift…  I am not a perfect meditator.  I’m sure some practitioners would be horrified at my habits. 

I’m reading this book “The ten worst books ever written”.  They’re the worst because they’ve perpetrated the worst worldly slaughters, mayhem, etc.  The author seems to be a serious “God Guy”.  Very devout in his religion.  He we was calling Sam Harris an atheist.  But I love Sam Harris, and I did not realize this.   After reading what the deffiniton of what an atheist it struck me that you can absolutely be an atheist and be spiritual.

The point of all this…  When I meditate I am trying to get closer to “source”.  Which made me think that people can meditate for different reasons.  Many of which are not to “get closer to source”.

So yes I meditate to feel a spiritual connection with something greater than me…

Such a fantastic ramble.  I’m just going to roll with the open thought loops.  And the lack of agenda with the episodes.  Hit play, start writing, start recording.

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My friend Kirk brings over a “new to recovery” character…  and we have some funny commentary about my hair.  Apparently it makes me chill…  And what's up with that barking dog.

Episode notes:

Somebody said to me today “When I saw you with your afro, I know you were chill.”  I met a new friend today.  He was on the upper of lower end of sanity.  Meeting people who want to know about recovery can bring about quite a cast of characters.   Damn it!  When is my hair gonna be long enough that it’s not going to be an afro?  I have an afro and I love that.

Having long hair takes some work.  It takes some mental fortitude.  Isn’t it funny that I’m building fortitude.  As I’m talking this out there is always something that our mind can attach to.  If this was just different?

Re summit speakers: Finding 4 and starting communication with those four is a “what an order moment”.

I’ve committed to some dates for summit it’s funny as the mind tries to worm it’s way out of those dates…  Saturday was going to be the big day to find speakers!  I found 2.  

It’s dog walking day at the park.  Someone left their dog in its crate.  Surprisingly it’s barking at all the other dogs…

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On this episode I describe how I’ve found a state of acceptance around the summit on what and how it needs to shake out this first go round.  And this state of acceptance feels good.  …And that I may just survive.

Episode notes:

…can I stay on the thought loop of where I am with the summit.  Keep it with the summit.   This acceptance and letting go of outcomes and expectations.  Perhaps a resetting of expectations.  

Bailey Richert’s Virtual Summit School is what I’m doing.  You could skip the whole 2CCX and just go create a summit :).

Just get through it.

If you’re a dog owner and someone calls your dog a “Pooch” are you offended?

The first summit is completely a learning experience.  Keep your expectations low.  Just get through it…  Survive.  Man I want it to be different!  Round one, all of it gets to be super wonky and a funny learning experience.  

Falling into a nice place of acceptance on the summit.  I’m not going to claim that it’s fun fun!  

Instead of pushing that date back again I’m keeping the date.

I’m in a good chill spot of acceptance with the whole thing.  

No I will not crazy monkey mind.  Tools For A Good Life Summit is find.

Stop seeking external validation on the summit name because everyone has an opinion.  

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Robert and I were having a conversation a few days before…  He’d had some stressors in his life.  Job change, dad passing, kid issues.  Talking about life as A Type’ish dads and then things can go sideways.   And I thought we needed to record an episode.  What the heck let’s turn it into three.  

In part one his daughters “suicidality” forces him to look at Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and it changes his life.  And so much more…

Episode notes:

It starts with his daughters suicidality…  What tools did you use?  Cognitive Behavior Therapy. (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  They both have been very powerful for him and his daughter.  DBT has allowed him to focus on the things that are real and when things are difficult to be able to do some really strong skills around observation and to react accordingly.  And part of that is not making it worse…

Helps him with communication especially in difficult situations.  “It’s applicable in business and everyday life”…  “Darn I wish I had done this 15 years ago instead of now.”

His kids are 16 to 21.  Had 4 kids in 5 years.  A “pretty structured household”.  There is a “duty roster”.  What happens when there’s resistance?  “My job as a parent is to keep you safe and I only have to provide you up to 2500 calories a day…”  Looking back I perhaps would have used DBT.  You can still be assertive but you don’t have to react to it.

“What it does is take the edge of… it certainly allows me to not get riled up”.  Helps with the anger triggers.

Helps him see what’s important to his son.  Truly understanding his kids perspective on things.  And most importantly he is coming at it from a calm place.  And it’s good modeling behavior for his kids.  “Radical acceptance”.  Do 180 degree of what you would normally do.

One of his kids went to “Wilderness Therapy”.  He definitely describes it as a miracle.  

…”The time his 12 year old daughter went to cover her ears”.  “This has got to stop.”

Starts learning to take accountability for his actions towards his kids.  To be able then to shorten the cycle between apologies or not even have it (not have to make apologies in the first place)!

One of the things of DBT is “Not making it worse”.  

In a marriage it is really hard.  For me as a male “what I said is”.  “But what you meant was…”  I wan to make sure your perception is my reality.  It’s their truth it’s not your truth.  Isn’t it amazing that you say this and I hear that?!?!

“If it hadn’t of been for the journey my daughter is going through now I wouldn’t have spent the time to do the DBT skills I have been exposed to.  I just wouldn’t do it.  I wouldn’t take the time.”  Some of this is divine.  God gives you just what you need at the time.

…it’s no secret we’ve (him and his wife) have been in therapy since before they got married.  If it got to an argument ,“I was like I apologize”.  That is also really damaging.  he’s learning to communicate instead of placate.   You can’t give yourself up in a partnership.  “It’s not easy man…”

Early on some of the key skills that he and his wife learned. (They did Retrouvaille and Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille is a more intense Marriage Encounter).  Being able to cognitively know that feelings just are what they are and no one makes you feel a certain way.  You just feel a certain way.  So if I’m mad it would never be anyone else’s fault its just a felling that’s come up in me…  Now he doesn’t need to take on nearly as much.

All we were doing was triggering each others feelings and never coming to the other person and saying it must suck to feel that way.  Where’s the empathy?  We’re in this together, let’s get through it.

There are struggles or moments or events in your life that literally catapult you to the next level or too an awareness to take on skills that will make you take your life better.  

You can reach Robert via Email : [email protected]

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I went to quickly grab a book that my friends dad wrote so that I could interview the dad…  Because I was busy with things to do I was gonna make it fast.  Well, the strike attack turned into one of the most beautiful afternoons… Now I’m further behind and happier than ever.

Episode notes:

I just got home from Darryl’s house.  Darryl Cifarelli’s house. His fathers name is Donald Cifarelli.  And I’m going to tell you why I must came back from his house and I’m very excited.  Darryl was a product of the 60’s and had an album of note out.  He’s got this amazing vegetable garden.  They made this awesome vegetable soup.  Don is 97!

I had such a good moment over there that I thought do I want to go back to the mind numbing process of researching potential speakers for my summit or do I want to record an episode?  I decided for plan B.  Do what’s funner!  I love recording episodes. 

I have a copy of Donald Cifarelli’s book “The Reluctant Warrior” in my hot little hand…  Darryl being a product of the 60’s loves my hair!  Encourages me to keep growing it and wants to teach me guitar.

I’ve know Darryl for a number of years.  Gotten to take advantage of the abundance of his garden.  Met his dad a few times.  How it all started was I volunteered to help him move a shit ton of soil for him in my pick up truck.  I was heaving 60 or 70 pound bags of soil around…

I like to say Darryl.  There was Darryl’s in Wyo where I grew up.  I grew up on elk, antelope, dear every year that my father hunted butchered.   So he would slay said animal and bring it to the butcher…  I never took to shooting animals.  Although I was fairly ruthless to the gophers.  We wreaked havoc on the gopher population in Wilson Wy.  We loved to shot gophers with 22’s and blow guns.  The notorious brothers…  Hope you’ve had a magical life.

One day Darryl starts telling me about the book that his dad wrote.  About WWII.  And has this incredible life story…   Darryl let me interview your dad!

No time like the present, “I’m coming over do grab that book”.  This dude has a perspective on life that is unbelievable.  I can’t wait to read this book and interview him.  But I better hurry cause when you’re 97…

I asked him if it is cool if we talk about death?  He said heck yes. 

I’ve got to record now while I’m all pumped up.  The soup was so good so health so abundant with life.  It was a magical afternoon.  A strike attack turned into an epic afternoon.  The magic of life blossoms in front of me.

I am further behind in the day.  But I am so full right now.  The illusion of time and things needing to be done within a certain time…  That is not there right now.

Start podcasting!  Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic, you can literally take it anywhere on the fly https://amzn.to/2Mnba3Q

Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace    

See more resources at https://belove.media/resources.   

Email me: [email protected]   

For social Media:      

https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/  

https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzov     

Subscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Mischa’s Stuff
🔎 Find podcast contact emails fast:
Podcast Email Finder → https://www.podcastemailfinder.com

Stop guessing. Stop overthinking.
Search a show. Get the contact. Send the pitch.

🎙 Want to go deeper?
Join the Influence Tour Masterclass → https://www.influencetour.com/go

Connect on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mischaz/