One of the 4 agreements "Don't take anything personally."

Al-Anon: QTIP (quit taking it personally)

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ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

Liveng Proof Podcast

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GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

The Chasing Joy Podcast

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Why is it so hard not to take something personally?!

• Everything feels personal because you are experiencing life through your own lens
• When you're empathetic/sensitive and/or codependent this can be extra heightened
• We crave love and validation - it's not wrong or a flaw for us to want to be loved
• Depends on how much this was modeled/emphasized by our primary caretakers
• Codependent tendencies of wanting to people please in order to be accepted and liked (to belong to the group = survival) - - so when we receive criticism our primal brain can perceive this as a threat to our survival

Filtering Negativity/Criticism

Brene Brown talks about how to filter criticism

• Reject it if the person is just on the sidelines (trolls)
• Tune out if it's extreme negative or extreme positive
• Pay attention when it's someone who knows you well and cares about you

Be Aware of the areas you're extra sensitive - awareness can help you filter reality through feelings

When something happens in one of those areas you can think "That really stings, AND I also know that when something happens in that area of my life it usually stings more than other areas"

Arenas where we're sensitive:

Georgie:

• Work, creative work, photography
• My body
• My intelligence

Fear of criticism used to stop me from trying - now the more I practice moving through those feelings the less afraid I am to fail and try something new

Engrid:

• My appearance/body
• My work as a trainer, my income, and my certifications/title
• My failures
• My performance (tests, presentations, Bootcamp's etc)

Tools for taking things less personally:

• Letting things sting without needing to do anything about it
  • People will be rude, weird, say thing that hurt you
  • It's ok to be hurt, the first step is feeling it without needing to control the other person
• Realizing that the other person is usually in their own world and it's usually something to do with them
  • "This isn't about me"
  • There's almost more to the story you don't know
• Connect with your truth
  • Do I like what I'm doing? (with creative work)
  • Is there a part of this I can take responsibility for?
  • Is there something deeper that this is triggering? In me? In the other person
• Talking it out with a safe friend
  • They can help you see the bigger picture
• Giving it time
• Getting older (gaining more experience with recognizing how others respond has less to do with you)
• Practicing not letting it stop you
• If you feel hurt, but keep doing your thing you will build up emotional muscle memory that criticism or rude comments/situations won't stop you