Tales from the Bargain Bin

Get the tree down from the attic and prepare your best over dinner arguments, cos it's about that time again as Claire and Ryan take a deep deep look into the Christmas abyss (abyssmass?), this time watching the wonderfully immature Will Ferrell in 2003s 'ELF' and its claymation family-friendly sing-along sequel 'Elf: Buddy's Musical Christmas' using the voice talent of Gilbert Gottfried and the voice of that Turkey from the Big Bang Theory.

 

Is this the most harshly maligned SNL alumni to Movie to Broadway Musical to Claymation special ever made?

 

Is this the most selfish representation of a Santa there has ever been?

 

And can somebody please check if James Caan is awake, please?

 

Listen in, check it out, have a damn good Christmas x

 

Yell at us:

INSTA: TFTBBPODCAST

TWITTER: TFTBBPODCAST

EMAIL: [email protected]

Claire and Ryan have gone full renegade cop with this month's offering, watching 76's The Enforcer, the third offering into Right-Wing Gun Nut Police Brutality fantasy Dirty Harry series and Italian Poliziotteschi clone 'Shadows in an Empty Room aka Blazing Magnum' from the same year. Get your police scanners a whirling as we ask the questions round here...

Will we ever work our way through all the layers of Cpt. Saitta, to reach the gooey centre inside?

How many Magnum deaths is too few magnum deaths?

and is a prolonged car chase sequence standard Police Operating Procedure?

Listen in as we play bad cop, bad cop on this most villainous title.

 

Emergency lines:

Twitter: @tftbbpodcast

Email: [email protected]

Insta: @tftbbpodcast

Tales from the Curmudgeonly Crypt returns this October with an Insectoid special as Claire and Ryan take a deep look into Baboon Butchery Caper, David Cronenberg's 1986 'The Fly' and it's straight to no point at all sequel, 1989's originally named 'The Fly II' starring Eric Stoltz and his lovely head of red hair.

 

What's the end game here?

Why did the constant sacrificing of animals in the name of whatever the end game is?

and why oh why is Dr. Seth dressed like Mr. Bean!?

*These questions may or may not be answered on this episode of TALES FROM THE CURMUDGEONLY CRYPT!

 

Shout at us and call us names:

Twitter: @tftbb

Insta: @tftbbpodcast

Email: [email protected]

Music: Brains by Lifejacket

This month is spy month, and Claire and Ryan certainly spied something dreadful on the horizon as they trudge through the mire to watch 1967s a classic Bond 'You only live twice', a misogyny fest featuring the most pointlessly inane plot device of all time and a not nearly racist enough (for Ryans taste) face changing operation.  Follow that cocktail up with the same years much under-discussed (see: scornfully judged) contribution to the 'Bond-verse', 'O.K Connery' (AKA: Operation Kid Brother), starring none other than Sean Connery's Plastering tradesman brother, Neil (not even a joke) and a full complement of previous Bond stars.

 

Is this how trade union disputes are normally settled?

Why does Bond fake his death so elaborately?

and Plastic Surgery, Lip Reading and Tibetan Hypnosis.  Are these the new weapons for the new spy of the new age?

Find out and possibly more on Tales From The Bargain Bin.

 

Call us names:

@tftbbpodcast

Look at funny pictures on Insta to calm the screaming anxieties:

@tftbbpodcast

For this year's Summer Blockbuster Month Ryan and Claire enjoy a 1st class trip on 1997's RomTradge Titanic, before careening broadside-first into the floating frozen turd that is The Asylum and sinking into the fathomless depths to suffer an eternal nightmare at the bottom of the sea alongside 2010's Titanic II.

Are the icebergs getting revenge for global warming?

Can the sinking of the Titanic be attributed to a single pair of binoculars?

And when is someone going to get justice for Hubert?!?!

Join us on TALES FROM THE BARGAIN BIN!

T: @tftbbpodcast

I: @tftbbpodcast

E: [email protected]

Music by Lifejacket

Strap yourself in, put your helmet and adjust the crotch of your Carpe Diem custom bike leathers whilst Claire and Ryan take you on a real wild ride this episode, as they take a look at 2001s High Octane, Low brow culture car toss fest 'Fast and The Furious' and then take a delve into the darkside and go a little off piste, to take a look into 2004's not so much a rip off as a failed cloning attempt 'Torque' under the instruction of Ryans good friend Neil.

Who did Adams Scotts hair in this movie?

While we're on the subject, who dressed him like that?

And where the fucking hell did he get that comedy sized key!?

Find out, and more, on Tales from the Bargain Bin.

 

Special thanks go out to Neil, who contributed much of the idea behind this episode and also his voice, opinions, and creative swearing.

 

Shout at us:

T: @tftbbpodcast

I: @tftbbpodcast

E: [email protected]

Music by Lifejacket.

HIIIIeeeeYAHHHHH!

It's the most wonderful time of the year from Claire and Ryan yet again as June Claude Van Damme rolls around for another session of roundhousing hilarity, and this time they've gone and delved right back into the archives for yet another of Ryans childhood favorites (but aren't they all? Or so he claims...) as the deadly duo ready their Iron Hands and Do tricks with bricks, watching 1988s based on a true story but definitely fabricated kicking tournament 'Bloodsport'.  Then this is followed up swiftly and decisively with 1996s late to the party sequel 'Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite' starring a vaguely familiar man with a vaguely familiar accent.

Are foreign prisons the worst place to be in the entire world ever?

How many montages does it really take to snuff candles out by sheer will alone?

And what the damn hell is going on with race representation in this franchise!?

Listen in, ready your kicks and sweep your sand on another episode of TALES FROM THE BARGAIN BIN!

Moan at us: @tftbbpodcast

gawp at us: @tftbbpodcast (insta)

Write us a boring letter of complaint: [email protected]

MUSIC BY LIFEJACKET

Ryan and Claire inexplicably travel back in time and visit the action blockbusters of '80's in a ballistic James Cameron double feature! We take in 1984's The Terminator AND 1986's Aliens in order to fully experience the egregious ripoff game of 1989's Shocking Dark, aka Terminator 2, aka Alienators, directed by Vincent Dawn.

When will people realise that there is always a second time travel pod?

Who exactly is making money off sales of the Bad Filmmaking Handbook and can we hold them accountable?

And what is more deadly than The Terminator and Aliens combined? Why, a button-activated door of course!

All this and more on TALES FROM THE BARGAIN BIN!!

 

Tweet us on @TFTBBpodcast, follow us on Instagram at tftbbpodcast, or email us [email protected]

As TFTBB hits over 2000 downloads, Claire and Ryan celebrate as any self-respecting podcasters would and watched 1977s rather dated but first of its kind sports comedy 'Slapshot' starring Paul Newman in a leather suit and hilarious misogyny.  Crashing into the 3rd quarter came 'Slapshot 2: Breaking The Ice' starring a definitely post Ususal Suspects Stephen Baldwin and reigniting the only good characters from the first one. Ryan also knocks out a new segment he very cleverly refers to as Baldwin Bedlam and pushes Claire's Stephen Baldwin's knowledge to its very limits.  Utterly without her consent.

 

Could this franchise be any more boring?

What's with Airport bars and being an Oasis of divination and third act ignition?

And has anyone ever actually uttered the phrase 'Get me a Baldwin!' with Stephen in mind?

 

Questions are raised and barely answered on Tales From The Bargain Bin!

 

Complaints this way:

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @tftbbpodcast

Insta: tftbbpodcast

Music by Lifejacket.

In what is definitely their most forced title for an episode to date, Claire and Ryan cook up an absolute storm and delve into the hairy world of Rats that can cook, which can only mean one thing. Pixar's 2007 typically wonderful parasitic relationship animated rat feature 'Ratatouille' and it's incredibly unconvincing and oh so foul-tasting Brazilian knock-off 'Ratatoing', brought to us by Video Brinquedo.

What the hell has been unleashed to defend that kitchen and why is it vaguely cat-shaped?

Do the creators of this monstrosity actually hold out hope for the award season?

and how bad does your film have to be if even Disney can't be bothered to sue you?

Tune in, check it out and reel in horror on TFTBB!

Get in touch:

Twitter: @TFTBBpodcast

Insta: TFTBBpodcast

Gmail: [email protected]

Music by Lifejacket