Your going to be okay

We all go through these days in our lives, some more than others.

But we go through these days where we feel everything is falling apart. You feel like life is after you and there is no way of winning. If this sounds familiar first off I want you to know you’re not alone.

I went through them a lot actually. Not as much as before but it’s only because of certain things I implemented in to my life to help me over come these sucky ass days.

First off one of the most important things to tell yourself is your okay, you’ve been through this before in some way shape or form. Unless you’re in danger or hurt physically, you’re going to be okay.

2nd thing is you’re not crazy for all these thoughts going through your head, your no less of a person for having a lot going on that doesn’t seem to add up in your life at the moment.

Remind yourself repeatedly of how strong you really are, although you may not feel that way, you have been through hurdles in life and have passed them with flying colors. This hurdle is a little more tough, but you will get through it.

Think of this as another challenge in life. You were out here to go through exactly what your going through, and the purpose is to overcome and come out stronger on the other end.

Be brave and talk to someone, I know we think keeping this bottled up is the most comfortable option. Since it doesn’t open up the doors of leaving you vulnerable or weak.

But as I have mentioned before. Talking to someone could be one of the most therapeutic things you could ever do for yourself.

Don’t let your emotions stop you from opening up to people. I know it did for me for years. I hated the thought of someone seeing me cry. So instead I bottled my emotions and let myself soak in this sorrow and live in total darkness.

Don’t do that, talk to someone and get these things off your mind and chest. A lot of the time just talking to someone can help you so much, but as a bonus some friends may have something that can help you through it, or will offer themselves to you as a shoulder whenever you feel this way.

Do your best to find a solution, with out stressing yourself out. I know it’s hard and I know it’s very stressful. But you can overcome this and you will. Don’t let this become a weight over you forever. Find a way to get this out and speak to someone and try our best to listen for any tips they may have to help you get back on your feet, try your best to knee yourself occupied, and do your best to remind yourself that you will be okay. You will over come this. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s just life doing what life does. Breathe and relax you’re going to be just fine.

If you feel you can’t find someone to speak to try reaching out to a specialist. The point to find someone to speak to help you vent and get this out.

Think before you make your next move.

Have you ever come to a fork in the road in your journey? Either for fitness or personal growth, or just life in general ?

I know I’ve been there. I’ve played on both sides of the table. Meaning I’ve made good choices and bad choices unknowingly. You will learn something from either or, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether that choice you made that day was good one or bad one sometimes.

One thing I want to recommend is to really look at this choice from different angles. Look at the pros and the cons. Ask yourself how will making this choice affect you? Try to think beyond you if possible. Like if you had a family to look after. How would this choice affect them?

Choices will always be presented to us in several forms so it’s hard sometimes to really see which choice you should really look at with this series of questions. I think if you have to think about it for more than a few days this is something you need to put in to a series of questions.

Make choices with the best intentions for yourself, your growth, and your family. Making choices a bit easier when you ask yourself or someone for more clarity. The reason I say ask your self is because you won’t always have someone there to help answer them for you. So it’s up to you sometimes to make those executive decisions.

Last but not least asking people is always a tool that can be used in times of not knowing how to decide. Sometimes this can get tricky. Because this is a big decision for you. So I recommend just asking the right people. Ask someone who you feel won’t point you in the wrong place. I hate to be a judgmental person but this is your life we are talking about. So I recommend asking someone you trust fully but also look at their life choices. Does this person motivate you? Do they help you grow? Are they making moves you would like to make some day? 

If so that may be a good place to start. Either way life is all about making decisions, make sure to trust your heart and do your best to make the right choice for yourself.

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Time is moving fast. Enjoy it.

I use to tell myself a lot that I will get to my goals tomorrow, then when tomorrow came I would push it to the weekend. Then eventually it got easy to push things away. Because when your younger, you forget about time. As a matter fact time is never really thought about during our early years as an adult.

I was talking to my daughter the other day. She was so excited to tell me all about her report card and how happy she was to have it go from a C- to a B+. Her other grades were As and Bs she said that if she kept this up she will be “graduating” elementary school to move to middle school.

And that’s when life hit me for the first time in a while. It said to me, hey your daughter will be in middle school next year. The same school I went to middle school at. It was such an eye opener. One day I’ll be getting a call that says she will be graduating high school!

Just blew my mind, but also reminded me that time is moving so quickly, especially when you keep yourself busy. It made me ask myself “am I really making the best of the time that’s passing me by?” during my early years it was spent on dumb things but today I feel I am right where I am suppose to be.

So I ask you my friends. Are you doing what’s best for yourself in the time that’s passing you so quickly?

Are you where you want to be ? If not have you started implanting things that will get you to where you want to go?

At the end of our cycle of life we will be in a bed, hopefully and the last thing that will come to your mind is ... Have I used the time I had in this world wisely?

If your thinking about helping at a community center .. do it..

If your planning to lose 20 pounds .. do it

If your planning to get a promotion at work do it!

If you’ve been planning a family vacation for years and still haven’t gone.. just go!

The more you push away the things you want in life the less likely they will happen, and I say that because tomorrow is not guaranteed. We are not promised the things we want in life, but we are guaranteed an ending to life. Get the most out of your life and live it the happiest you can. Be humble, and spread the joy.

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Be a badass not an ass

People love to shine regardless of what they tell you. I can be up front and say ya I love the feeling. It’s nice to be noticed for things you do.

But the reason I wanted to talk about this was because there is such thing as being an ass when you’re trying to be a badass. Now by bad ass I mean totally killing it at your goals or just in life. This doesn’t have to be goal driven.

I’ve seen so many people let their position in life change them to a whole new other person. Does it happen to us all? Yea I’m gonna say I believe it does. I think early in my career and in life when I started getting praise and awesome recognition I started to get cocky. And eventually it looks bad if you take it too far.

Avoiding these things is what separates a great leader/person over a person with a title. Do your best to remember where it you’re come from. Try to remember when you were at the bottom. Most importantly remember things can happen in the blink of an eye. Nothing in life is promised or guaranteed other than the fact that one day we will all pass away.

So don’t be the ass. Be the badass, don’t let things get to your head. Know your place and show people what a good person is really like. Don’t show them something they already see on tv or in music which is a bunch of people letting fame change who they were originally.

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Feeling Stuck

Have you ever felt so stuck in life or in a situation that you don’t know what to do?

When I say stuck i mean stuck because of a step you missed that resulted in you losing interest in what your doing. I’ve been in this situation several times in the past. Feeling stuck will make you feel like you aren’t doing enough or they will make you feel totally lost.  The goal is to find out exactly why you feel stuck. The more you narrow it down the easier it is to start working on a way out of being stuck.

1. First of you need to take full ownership of why your stuck, it’s okay we all make mistakes, and we all make wrong turns in our path. We aren’t perfect, and that’s okay!
2. you figure out why your stuck ask yourself a few questions. One is why you got there in the first place. Try to retrace your steps as far as you can to really see where it is you took the wrong turn.
3. Start working on a strategy on how to turn this all around. Regardless of asking for help/guidance or researching on your own. Make sure you are asking your self specific questions so that you have specific answers on getting your engine started back up again.
4. Once you figure out some ways on how to get out of where your at, try to narrow them down or prioritize them.
5. Last but now least start working on getting yourself back up and running. Take notes as to what worked and also take notes as to what lead you down this path. So you know what to avoid in the future.

Life is a learning process, we don’t always have the answers. But that doesn’t mean we will always be stuck we’re we are at. We learn to figure things out by asking ourself a the right questions, making specific goals and staying consistent. Trial and error becomes apart of life as you grow. The more you work on the areas you get stuck on the better you become. The trick is to never give up and always push for a better you.

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INTRO

Today, we’re talking about challenges. What are challenges, how they differ from excuses, and how you can push past your limits. Before we get started, make sure to subscribe to our podcast… etc

THE CHALLENGE

Many of us get stuck at this fork in the road. We have the option to take the safe road and ignore the challenge and move on with something else in life or we see this challenging side and work on that road knowing it’s going to be bumpy but also realizing the road at the end is very rewarding.

When you’re stuck at this fork ask yourself two questions — “Do I want to play it safe and ignore growth” or “Do I want to acknowledge that with growth come bumps in the road but I accept them?” 

BUMPY ROAD = SOLUTION

Although the bumpy road will be much more difficult, it’s the most important step to take.

Challenges in life come to us for one reason only. Either to make you stronger or to stop your progress completely. We don’t get the things we want in life by staying the same person and staying in the same situation that we were in when we started.

From personal experience, I can say that although my achievements in life have been difficult and exhausting, they have been very rewarding and humbling. 

A challenge I struggled a lot with is going to the gym. First off it’s in the morning — I am not a morning person. I will sleep in as long as I can before I will be late. Once I’m up and ready, I could be doing something that doesn’t exhaust me. But I’ve come to accept that what I want out of the gym takes work and dedication. What I get in return for that work and dedication comes in many forms. I have much more energy, I live a healthier life, and I feel good about completing something I am working hard for.

CHALLENGE VERSUS EXCUSE

In order for our challenges to make us stronger and see that reward at the end of the road, we need to take a detailed view of our excuses. A lot of the time what seems like a challenge is actually an EXCUSE made my our insecurities, fears, and believed limitations. If you’re saying your kids are preventing you from going to the gym, that’s not a challenge. It’s an excuse. If you’re saying your job doesn’t give you time to work on your business, that’s an excuse. 

The challenge is acknowledging the road block, finding a solution, and making it a daily habit. If you want to work out but you don’t have a sitter for your kids, then challenge yourself to workout from home. Or challenge yourself to find a sitter and go to the gym. If your job is taking a lot of your personal time, preventing you from working your own business, then challenge yourself to create work/life balance. Or challenge yourself to wake up an hour earlier to take baby steps in your business. 

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Just checking in

Today I wanted to simply check up on our listeners.

How do you feel you are doing as far as life growth goes. Whether it be your career? Or your gym goals ? Do you feel you have made a moves in the right direction? If not, ask your self why? Try to get a special answer as to why..And try to come up with a resolution as to what can you do to make things better and get your self moving towards completing your goals.

Asking yourself what the  specifics are can really help because your giving yourself the details you need to help achieve your goals or to really zoom in on the issue that’s preventing you from achieving your goals.

If your feeling some kind of way where your emotions are bothering your and it’s making it bard to concentrate on the reality’s if life, I would recommend speaking to someone in person and try to choose someone you think will give you honestly and helpful feedback. If you feel you don’t know someone try to reach out to a professional to speak to. There is no shame in any of that. It doesn’t make you weak. It should empower you because of the decision your making to seek the answers you need to better your life.

Last But not least my friends, know that any kind of progress does take time. Have some patience. As the famous saying goes “ Rome was not built in a day” so give yourself some slack even if things aren’t happening right away. Know you will get there as long as you put in the work. Stay consistent and never give up.

Change for a better future.

A lot of people for some reason think I was always this motivating kinda guy. To be honest I was not always this way. I actually was raised in a different type of world we’re  living a life of an entrepreneur wasn’t really a thing

I’m not going to go in to the details but I will tell you I didn’t always see a way out. I was brought up all through school labeled as the funny guy, or class clown. Which wasn’t bad, at least that’s what I thought.

Slowly I started to realize I wasn’t very smart. I actually didn’t know a lot in middle school. I had a lot of trouble with math and paying attention in school. It’s not till graduation day we’re I realized I wasted a lot of time and got no where. Because I wasn’t on stage with my friends.

I didn’t graduate, and I’m not telling you guys this because I want you to feel bad for me.

I’m telling you guys this because I want don’t want you to waste your time trying to be the funny guy, or the just the pretty girl. I want you guys to really think about your life and I want you to think about a few things 1. Ask yourself where you’ll be in the next 3 years if you changed nothing.. 2nd thing is are you hanging out with people who think they have a successful future? If you think you changing nothing won’t get you no where in the next three years you might want to reconsider your actions.

Now I got to where I am because I had to work 3 times as hard to get something that doesn’t have as much meaning as a diploma. I got a GED.  Nothing wrong with that but it doesn’t look as tasteful to employers. It’s hard to say but it’s the truth.

It’s never too late to change. And I wish I could have changed sooner but changing was the best thing that happened to me because I get to live a happier life. Was it easy? No , but it was worth it. So if I could influence you to change anything it would be your actions if they aren’t taking you to a more positive lifestyle. I ended up getting my degree and taking several courses in development for my career and education. I couldn’t imagine not doing these things and having to parent my kids. Getting them through school would oAf been a nightmare if I didn’t educate myself.

I now focus on teaching people through the things I’ve been through because I wouldn’t want anyone to have to grow up like I did. Life can be fun, but don’t waste it all on things that won’t get you anywhere.

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1. Separate Fact from Fiction

The first step in learning to focus on the positive requires knowing how to stop negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that — thoughts, not facts.

2. Identify a Positive

Once you snap yourself out of self-defeating, negative thoughts, it’s time to help your brain learn what you want it to focus on — the positive.

This will come naturally after some practice, but first you have to give your wandering brain a little help by consciously selecting something positive to think about. Any positive thought will do to refocus your brain’s attention. When things are going well, and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. When things are going poorly, and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments, think about your day and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter how small. If you can’t think of something from the current day, reflect on the previous day or even the previous week. Or perhaps there is an exciting event you are looking forward to that you can focus your attention on.

3. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the “right” thing to do; it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy and substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels.

Practice self-awareness. Think of yourself as the conductor of an orchestra—focused on helping every person on your team perform at their best. To be effective in this work, you need to understand your own strengths as well as your weaknesses and leadership gaps. Understanding yourself helps you leverage your strengths and your gaps. And at the end of the day, we all need to understand what challenges us and allow that awareness to become better leaders. What we understand, we own—and what we own doesn’t own us.

Learn how to coach your people. The greatest and strongest leaders know they’re only as good as the teams around them, so they put tremendous emphasis on coaching and supporting their people, helping them grow. It’s important to give each person the attention and feedback that will motivate them to make meaningful contributions.

Be willing to talk about difficult subjects. It’s always nice when you can act as a cheerleader for your organization, but the more important task is to help your team navigate the uncertain times. Business is messy, leadership isn’t easy and the way ahead may be far from clear. Communicate with your team about the issues facing your organization and industry—things like risks, variables, volatile markets. When you do, you not only build trust but also quash speculation and rumor mills.

Ask for help when you need it. Most leaders consider themselves highly capable, which makes it even harder when they need to ask for support. But requesting help from others will always be one of the best ways to become a better leader. If you’re feeling stuck, seek out a mentor or hire a coach.

Serve as a model. When you act as a model of integrity and hard work when you talk the talk and walk the walk. People will admire your leadership and work to emulate your behavior. If you want to become a better leader, work on modeling the qualities you’d like to see in your team and in others.

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