Dan and Paul talk fall sports as baseball season winds down and college football winds up. Dan's recovering from COVID, but even he isn't as sickly as the Hawkeyes' offense. Oklahoma beats up UTEP, proving it's always fun to watch any school from Texas lose; Yankees' slide continues; a couple of other non-sports takes just for fun.

Dan stumbles through his first three days with students right into the heart of another COVID-19 infection; Paul carries the load, talking about his successful Arsenal squad, Dan's sinking Yankees team, and dumb ideas such as "She-Hulk" and "Clue."

Dan is out of his mind with anxiety as the time for students in his classroom approaches; Paul explains why he gives a hoot about the LIV-PGA spat; a bear cub gets high on 'mad honey,' and Finland's PM knows how to party; all this and more on the latest episode of Talking Paragraphs.

Dan on "Talk of Iowa;" Paul on Arsenal; Dan on "The Captain" and the Yankees; and other topics of minor import.

Dan and Paul honor #NationalBoobDay and complain about the "bent carrot" metaphor before Dan starts to fall asleep in the middle of the show and Paul saves the whole thing with a story about a dog and its owner playing Connect Four.

A goat simulator video game enters its third generation while robots with cat faces serve dim sum. Also: Twitter personality compares G.I. Joe figures of the past.

Memphis port authorities bust 90 pounds of illegal Italian snails. Toys R Us may return from the dead. Dan goes to the eye doctor for the first time since 1998. Speed round: "The Captain" documentary, upcoming Arsenal season, and Winnie the Pooh is a horror movie.

Dan and Paul welcome Cobra Commander, Destro, the Baroness, Major Bludd, and Zartan. Musical guests: Pantera. Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped and the majority of whom, it turned out, were fictional characters. 

Dan and Paul welcome Darth Vader, Megatron, Mumm-Ra, and Skelator. Musical Guests: Eddie and the Cruisers. Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped and a good number of whom were deceased. 

Dan and Paul welcome Jan Smithers, Loni Anderson, Gordon Jump, Richard Sanders, Frank Bonner, Tim Reid, and Howard Hessman. Musical Guest: Dethklok. Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped, and a good number of whom are deceased.