Are your dating standards too high, or is the 'single forever' movement onto something? When a friend told Pam she'd end up alone if she didn't lower her standards, it sparked a fascinating debate about modern dating expectations. Should we compromise on our "must-haves" or stay true to our dealbreakers?

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they dive deep into the complexities of dating standards in your 40s and 50s. From height requirements to political alignment, they challenge conventional wisdom about what we should and shouldn't compromise on. Plus, they tackle a listener's dilemma about introducing a new partner to their kids after divorce.

The episode takes an unexpected turn when Pam reveals how her own dating standards have evolved, questioning whether maintaining rigid expectations is actually self-sabotaging. Meanwhile, Tom shares insights about the difference between genuine standards and unrealistic preferences, offering a fresh perspective on finding love later in life.

Things get real when they discuss the growing "single forever" movement and why some people are choosing solitude over settling. The hosts explore whether dating apps are helping or hurting our ability to find meaningful connections, and why so many people are opting out of the dating scene entirely.

Don't miss their compelling advice to a single mom struggling with introducing her boyfriend to her kids after six months of dating. Tom and Pam find themselves on opposite sides of this sensitive issue, offering unique perspectives that will make you question your own assumptions about dating as a parent.

Are you too independent for love? At what point does being comfortable with your single life actually start sabotaging your chances at finding a meaningful relationship? When you've built a life you absolutely love, is it even worth risking it all for romance?

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they dive deep into the complex world of dating after divorce in 2025. They explore the delicate balance between maintaining independence and allowing vulnerability in relationships, sharing their personal experiences with everything from secret morning workout routines to nighttime skincare rituals that they're hesitant to share with potential partners.

The episode tackles the challenging reality of modern relationships: how do you merge two completely independent lives without losing yourself in the process? Tom opens up about his new relationship and the internal struggle of potentially disrupting his peaceful single life, while Pam shares insights about her journey of self-discovery and what she's learned about maintaining boundaries.

They also address a listener's dilemma about a boyfriend requesting appearance changes, sparking an honest discussion about double standards in relationships and when it's appropriate to ask your partner to change. The hosts explore the fine line between helpful suggestions and controlling behavior.

This thought-provoking episode wraps up with practical advice about finding the balance between independence and interdependence, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating the modern dating landscape while trying to maintain their sense of self.

Is modern dating truly harder for men or women? While men struggle to get matches and responses, women face an overwhelming flood of inappropriate messages and time-wasters. This heated debate explores the raw reality of dating apps, ghosting culture, and why finding love seems harder than ever before in 2024.

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they dive deep into the controversial world of dating apps, sharing personal experiences and shocking statistics. From Tom's revealing dating calculator that shows it takes 60-70 hours just to secure a second date, to Pam's insights about managing hundreds of incoming messages, this episode exposes the stark differences between male and female dating experiences.

The hosts tackle the age-old question of whether men and women can truly be "just friends," sparked by a listener's email about his girlfriend's close male friend. Can you trust platonic friendships when there's a romantic history? Should you ever ask someone to end a friendship for a relationship?

Featuring exciting updates about upcoming concerts (including Gracie Abrams and Pearl Jam), holiday celebrations, and the podcast's growing success as a top 25 video podcast. Plus, don't miss Tom's expert advice on handling jealousy and Pam's powerful stance on maintaining friendships while dating.

This must-watch episode concludes with practical advice for anyone navigating the modern dating landscape, whether you're swiping right or trying to maintain boundaries in your current relationship. Plus, find out how you can participate in Tom's dating calculator study!

When does a relationship become "official" in 2024? Should you assume exclusivity, or do you need "the talk"? In this episode, we dive deep into the modern dating dilemma that's leaving many singles confused and frustrated. If you've ever wondered whether you're on the same page as the person you're dating, this episode is a must-watch.

Tom shares a perfectly-timed personal story about defining his new relationship, leading to an eye-opening discussion about dating expectations across different age groups. From accidental relationship status reveals to the complexities of dating multiple people, we unpack the unwritten rules of modern romance and why assumptions can be dangerous in today's dating landscape.

The episode takes an interesting turn as we explore whether marriage is becoming outdated, especially for those in their 40s and 50s. We challenge traditional relationship milestones and discuss whether legal contracts really equal commitment. Plus, we tackle the controversial topic of dating with intent - does it always have to lead to marriage?

We answer a listener's email about exclusivity expectations, offering practical advice for those struggling with undefined relationships. The conversation reveals why communication is crucial and how many people miss opportunities for connection simply because they're afraid to have "the talk."

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they share their experienced perspectives on navigating modern relationships, from casual dating to serious commitments. Whether you're actively dating or just curious about how relationships work in 2024, this episode offers valuable insights into the evolving landscape of love and commitment.

What happens when you meet someone who seems perfect, but then they vanish without a trace? This week's episode of The Talking Phase dives into the complexities of modern dating and the mysterious phenomenon of ghosting. Join hosts Tom Milligan and Pam O'Leary as they unravel the emotional rollercoaster of connecting with someone new, only to be left wondering what went wrong. Are we doomed to repeat our dating patterns, or is there hope for finding genuine connections in today's world?

In this engaging episode, Tom and Pam explore the idea of having a "type" when it comes to dating. Do we really have a type, or is it just a myth we've been led to believe? Through personal anecdotes and insights from Psychology Today, they discuss whether sticking to a type limits our chances of finding true love. Is it time to break free from these constraints and open ourselves to new possibilities?

As the conversation unfolds, Tom shares his own experiences with breaking out of his dating mold. He reveals how stepping outside his comfort zone led him to unexpected happiness. Pam, on the other hand, reflects on her past relationships and the lessons learned about what truly matters in a partner. Together, they challenge listeners to reconsider their dating criteria and embrace the unknown.

The episode also tackles the harsh reality of ghosting—a common yet painful experience in the dating world. Pam and Tom offer advice on how to handle being ghosted and why it's crucial to maintain self-respect in such situations. They emphasize the importance of clear communication and honesty in relationships, urging listeners to avoid the pitfalls of disappearing without explanation.

Don't miss this thought-provoking discussion that promises to resonate with anyone navigating the complexities of modern romance. Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, The Talking Phase provides valuable insights and relatable stories that will keep you hooked from start to finish.

Ever been stuck in the friend zone, wondering if you should make that leap to something more? What if your closest friend could be your perfect match - but making a move could destroy years of friendship? This episode of The Talking Phase dives deep into the complex world of dating friends, featuring a real-life situation as host Tom grapples with his growing feelings for his long-time friend "Laura".

Ever wondered why a 6-hour first date with amazing chemistry could end in complete disaster? What if your perfect date turns into a $150 nightmare, and your date doesn't offer to pay a single penny? This episode of The Talking Phase dives deep into the modern dating dilemma that's leaving everyone exhausted, frustrated, and questioning if it's even worth trying anymore.

Host Pam shares a shocking story about a recent first date that turned threatening when her date, who looked nothing like his profile pictures, aggressively confronted her about her political views and grabbed her leg – forcing her to make a quick escape. Meanwhile, Tom recalls his own dating horror story involving a woman who berated him about vaccines, highlighting how dating apps might be making everything worse.

The hosts tackle the controversial topic of who should pay on first dates through a listener's story about a marathon date that included drinks, dinner, pool, and even intimacy – only to end with both parties feeling zero chemistry. They explore whether elaborate first dates are setting everyone up for failure and debate if the traditional "whoever asks, pays" rule still applies in 2024.

As dating app burnout reaches new heights, Pam and Tom question whether meeting people "in the wild" might be the answer to finding genuine connections. They share their experiences with organic friendships potentially turning romantic and discuss the risks of crossing that friendship line. Could the pressure to find "the one" be exactly what's keeping us from finding them?

The episode wraps up with practical advice for modern daters: keep first dates short and simple, be honest with your profile pictures, and don't expect Hollywood romance from dating app matches. Plus, they address whether it's really worth continuing to date when being single might actually be the healthier choice for many people's mental well-being.

Is the dating divide in America becoming unbridgeable? In a world where politics and religion increasingly define our relationships, can love still conquer all? This episode of The Talking Phase dives deep into the controversial reality of modern dating, where finding love isn't just about chemistry anymore - it's about checking political boxes and religious affiliations. How did we get here, and is there any way back?

Tom and Pam explore the fascinating shift in dating culture, from a time when couples could happily disagree on politics to today's landscape where it's often a dealbreaker. Through personal stories, including Tom's experiences dating in Mormon-dominated Utah and Pam's insights on interfaith relationships, they unpack why beliefs have become such crucial dating criteria. The hosts tackle the burning question: Are we limiting our chances at love by being too rigid in our dating preferences?

The conversation takes an intriguing turn as they discuss the "4B" movement on TikTok and how political divisions are reshaping dating app cultures. They share candid observations about how dating profiles now explicitly state political preferences, and whether this growing trend is helping people find better matches or just shrinking their dating pools. Through real-world examples and personal experiences, they examine whether it's possible to separate political beliefs from personal compatibility.

In the second half of the episode, they address a compelling listener email from "Cali from Cali" about maintaining friendships with exes while in new relationships. The hosts dive into the complexities of jealousy, trust, and boundaries in modern relationships, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating similar situations. Their discussion challenges listeners to think about what's reasonable when it comes to maintaining relationships with former partners.

Don't miss this thought-provoking episode that tackles one of the most relevant dating issues of our time. Whether you're currently dating, in a relationship, or just curious about how modern beliefs are reshaping romance, this episode offers fresh perspectives and practical insights. Plus, stay tuned for Tom and Pam's brutally honest advice about whether to choose a new relationship or maintain a healthy friendship with an ex.

Are younger men increasingly attracted to older women? With Hollywood churning out films like "The Idea of You" and "Lonely Planet," featuring significant age gaps between partners, we're diving deep into this fascinating cultural shift. What's driving this trend, and more importantly - does age really matter anymore in modern dating?

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they explore the complexities of age-gap relationships, drawing from personal experiences and recent Hollywood portrayals. They tackle the controversial "double standard" between older men dating younger women versus older women dating younger men, and discuss whether society's acceptance of these relationships is genuinely evolving or just a passing trend.

The conversation takes an intriguing turn when they address a heartfelt email from a successful, educated, and attractive woman in her 40s who can't seem to find lasting love. Despite her accomplishments and confidence, she's struggling in the modern dating landscape - a situation that resonates with many listeners. Tom and Pam offer candid insights about the fine line between confidence and desperation in dating.

The hosts share their own experiences with dating apps, including the uncomfortable truth about when most people do their swiping (spoiler: it's probably not when you think). They discuss the pros and cons of various dating methods, from apps to social groups like GOAT, and why relying solely on digital connections might be holding you back from finding genuine relationships.

This episode offers practical advice for anyone feeling "sick of being single," including why taking a break from dating apps might be the best decision you can make. Whether you're curious about age-gap relationships or struggling with modern dating, this conversation provides honest, sometimes brutal, but always helpful perspectives on finding love in today's complex dating landscape.

Would you stay in a relationship where you never had to share a bathroom, fight over decorations, or compromise on the thermostat? A growing trend called "Living Apart Together" is challenging traditional relationship norms, especially for divorced couples over 40. But can you truly be partners if you maintain separate homes?

Join hosts Tom and Pam as they dive deep into this fascinating relationship phenomenon, sharing real examples including Pam's 81-year-old father who found love in senior living - but keeps his own condo! They explore the surprising benefits of maintaining separate spaces while nurturing romantic connections, and debate whether physical distance actually creates stronger emotional bonds.

The conversation takes an unexpected turn when they discuss a listener's dilemma about marriage expectations. After moving in together with the promise of marriage, her partner now claims he's "happy with how things are." Tom and Pam draw from their combined experience of four divorces to tackle this complex situation, offering insights about contracts, prenups, and whether marriage is truly necessary for commitment.

Our hosts share opposing viewpoints on what makes a true partnership, with Tom questioning if living apart can create genuine intimacy while Pam advocates for the freedom and independence it provides. They explore how age, financial independence, and past relationship experiences shape our views on cohabitation and marriage.

The episode wraps up with a heated debate about whether having separate homes is a waste of money or the secret to relationship longevity. Discover why some couples are choosing to rewrite the rules of relationships and whether this unconventional approach might be the key to lasting love in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Subscribe for more relationship insights every Friday!