Joey returns to Ross's favorite theme of disappointment, failure, and the illusion of perfection. If children are always told that they are correct, then everyone else must be wrong. The implications are not great in a world where everyone makes mistakes.

Sometimes children are overwhelmed by choices and may struggle to get going in very open-ended, play based settings. What is the adult's role? Mike sees adults as the bridge to engagement. This bridge can lead to a highway where children need help navigating the on ramp to play. From there, children need to learn the rules of the road. We promise, it's not all metaphor as we talk about strategies for supporting children in connecting through play.

Ross wants to talk about navigating transitions. As the school year comes to a close, we often notice a ramp up in children's (and adults') level of dysregulation. How do we support children and teach the skills for managing the many inevitable changes of life? We talk about what is staying the same alongside what will be different...we practice rituals for saying goodbye...we involve children in concrete actions, such as cleaning, giving mementos...we engage in rituals that encourage reflection and offer connection with others... we take children's feelings seriously and see them as capable and competent people. Big feelings will always come up when change is at hand, but hopefully we can help lay the groundwork for processing those feelings.

While we're on a brief recording break, enjoy this episode  from the archive:

Inspired by Stephen J. Smith from his book Risk and Our Pedagogical Relation to Children, Tom asks the group to consider the idea of silently observing children's movements as "reading their actions as they're being written." What more would we learn about children if we watch in silence and listen instead of always talking? (recorded November 2018)

Mike leads us into a discussion about the importance of connection.

Social connection is how children get through the hard things...Connections build resilience...Children are always looking for connection...All play is social and all learning is social...We're wired to learn from the group so why is assessment still tied to individual achievements...Shout outs to: Vygotsky, Gilligan and Usain Bolt...The most important job of teachers is to be there.

Joey wants to talk about the idea of emotional strength. How do we support children in building inner strength without making assumptions about what they can handle? Mike reminds us that stress--in the right amount--supports growth. Tom shares the experiences of listening to children and being an advocate for their feelings. We need to watch out for accidentally giving the message that being "strong" means you don't feel sadness. Ross advocates for expanding children's (and everyone's) emotional vocabulary. Perhaps we would do better to use the term capable instead of strong?

What is lost when adults let children win at all the games? Ross worries that it gives children the false sense that they can never lose.

How do you keep games fun when the skill set is mismatched?... Do kids know what is happening when adults let them win?... Letting children win can be a form of power reversal play... It can be disrespectful when adults check out of the play and let children win... There is a level of challenge needed to make a game fun, motiviating, and to increase your skill level... Handicapping requires adults to tune in to children's skills... What are the other "wins" a child can feel in their life?... We aren't the best at everything, but how do I belong here?

Monkey piles, piggy piles, "pile on"--Tom has noticed that children often pile up together. This physical play provides close contact and a little unpredictability. What other needs are met in piling up?

The conversation about environment wasn't quite finished. Joey, Mike and Tom continue to work their way through the jargon in search of more practical and meaningful language. 

Mike invites us to unpack the term environment as it is used in the field of early childhood. Does emphasis on "creating the environment" overlook the fact that you are in a specific place that already exists? Does it take into account the children and people who inhabit the space? How can we avoid fighting against the place we are in?