This week we're joined by Brandon Romano to learn about Scantron: the company that made ubiquitous standardized testing possible. Find out:

• How standardized tests were graded in the 1500s (hint: it involved throwing corpses over walls)
• Why the hideous pseudoscience of eugenics is weirdly load-bearing for the SAT
• How Scantron uses infrared light to transmute those little number-2 pencil marks into college rejection letters

References:

• https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2023/09/schools-standardized-testing-assessment-ai-future/675366/ 
• https://blog.collegeboard.org/everything-you-need-know-about-digital-sat 
• https://edscoop.com/scantron-how-colleges-handle-old-unwanted-tech/ 
• https://edtechmagazine.com/higher/article/2016/12/scantron-technology-creates-more-efficient-testing 
• https://gizmodo.com/5908833/the-birth-of-scantrons-the-bane-of-standardized-testing 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US3050248A/en 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US3900961A/en 
• https://scantron.com/ScanToolsPlus/Help/v8/LINK/content/apicontent/overview/scanner_technology_overview.htm 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20120403020015/http://www-03.ibm.com/ibm/history/ibm100/us/en/icons/testscore/ 
• https://www.americanprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/10/LazarinOvertestingReport.pdf 
• https://www.cxomagazine.com/reimagining-data-intelligence-through-human-centered-innovation-and-ethical-ai/ 
• https://www.edutopia.org/blog/dark-history-of-multiple-choice-ainissa-ramirez 
• https://www.ipmetrics.net/blog/litigation/case-law/scantron-patent-marking/ 
• https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/latimes/name/william-sanders-obituary?id=17291417 
• https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/orangecounty/name/michael-sokolski-obituary?id=8415721&fhid=3071 
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/402857246/?match=1&terms=Scantron 
• https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/BdPM5tl48r 
• https://www.reddit.com/r/fgcu/comments/320qqk/whats_up_with_having_to_buy_our_own_scantron/ 
• https://www.scantron.com/blog/meet-mary-michael-sellers/ 
• https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300026399/chinas-examination-hell/ 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85gAfiJGpVM 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqRdrXUaESg 

This week and last, I'm joined by singer-songwriter Rachel Kiel to talk about Shazam: the massive data analytics platform that occasionally tells you the names of songs. Find out:

• How they use computers to turn all your favorite songs into constellations
• What other things you can Shazam, if you're not a music person
• What Shazam likes to do in its spare time, when you think it's not listening anymore

References:

• https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/11/24/shazam-for-ios-will-listen-to-songs-for-longer-before-giving-up
• https://appleinsider.com/articles/24/05/22/shazam-can-now-run-in-the-background-with-live-activities
• https://daniellenewnham.medium.com/fostering-innovation-and-choosing-the-right-founding-team-6287f7eed9f
• https://d3.harvard.edu/platform-digit/submission/shazam-predictive-analysis-for-the-music-industry/
• https://patents.justia.com/inventor/avery-li-chun-wang
• https://profwurzer.com/shazams-ip-fortress-layered-protection-built-a-billion-dollar-app/
• http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-shazam-effect/382237/
• https://venturebeat.com/social/shazam-american-idol/
• https://www.cnbc.com/2015/06/14/shazam-names-that-tune-drawing-in-money-and-users.html
• https://www.computerweekly.com/news/450409644/How-Shazam-handles-its-data-reserves
• https://www.ee.columbia.edu/~dpwe/papers/Wang03-shazam.pdf
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/averywang08/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/s/uX3Gjl7FUm
• https://www.seti.org/people/avery-wang/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3hNkU03sLA
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0m-G6iwrCw

This week and next, I'm joined by singer-songwriter Rachel Kiel to talk about Shazam: the massive data analytics platform that occasionally tells you the names of songs. Find out:

• How they use computers to turn all your favorite songs into constellations
• What other things you can Shazam, if you're not a music person
• What Shazam likes to do in its spare time, when you think it's not listening anymore

References:

• https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/11/24/shazam-for-ios-will-listen-to-songs-for-longer-before-giving-up
• https://appleinsider.com/articles/24/05/22/shazam-can-now-run-in-the-background-with-live-activities
• https://daniellenewnham.medium.com/fostering-innovation-and-choosing-the-right-founding-team-6287f7eed9f
• https://d3.harvard.edu/platform-digit/submission/shazam-predictive-analysis-for-the-music-industry/
• https://patents.justia.com/inventor/avery-li-chun-wang
• https://profwurzer.com/shazams-ip-fortress-layered-protection-built-a-billion-dollar-app/
• http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-shazam-effect/382237/
• https://venturebeat.com/social/shazam-american-idol/
• https://www.cnbc.com/2015/06/14/shazam-names-that-tune-drawing-in-money-and-users.html
• https://www.computerweekly.com/news/450409644/How-Shazam-handles-its-data-reserves
• https://www.ee.columbia.edu/~dpwe/papers/Wang03-shazam.pdf
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/averywang08/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/s/uX3Gjl7FUm
• https://www.seti.org/people/avery-wang/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3hNkU03sLA
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0m-G6iwrCw

It looks like you're trying to listen to a podcast. Would you like some help with that? Join me and my guest Dana Vannen Anderson for the bizarre and frequently cringe story of Clippy, the paperclip that us helped write a thousand letters. Find out:

• Where we got the notion that your computer should act like a person
• Why Microsoft ditched the idea of Clippy ever shutting the fuck up
• What celebrated actor brought the paperclip to life for Office XP's mortifying launch campaign

References:

• https://arxiv.org/pdf/1301.7385
• https://jesse.cafe/blog/packard-bell-navigator/
• https://guidebookgallery.org/tutorials/packardbellnavigator39/gettingstarted 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20110504005120/https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2008/04/-quot-clippy-quot-update-now-with-organizational-anthropology/8006/ 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20110124023627/http://blogs.msdn.com/b/chris_pratley/archive/2004/01/31/65479.aspx 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHgzgbLwhKM#t=1m41s 
• https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/nov/07/chatgpt-lawsuit-suicide-coach 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20070212204645/http://lis.dickinson.edu/Technology/Training/Tutorials/MsOffice/assistant.htm
• https://web.archive.org/web/20010812061222/http://www.microsoft.com/office/clippy/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20190214194638/https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/techtalk/2005/12/16/pm-at-microsoft/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20121024125147/http://news.cnet.com/2100-1001-255671.html
• https://www.seattlemet.com/news-and-city-life/2022/08/origin-story-of-clippy-the-microsoft-office-assistant 
• https://magnus919.com/2025/05/the-rise-and-fall-of-clippy-from-microsofts-bold-vision-to-internet-legend/ 
• https://spir.aoir.org/ojs/index.php/spir/article/view/10923/9596 
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/1143853682/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/295620970/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/770293367/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/658114957/
• https://usatoday30.usatoday.com/tech/news/2001-05-03-clippy-campaign.htm 
• https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/191666.191703
• https://archive.org/details/g4tv.com-video4080 
• https://hardcoresoftware.learningbyshipping.com/p/042-clippy-the-fcking-clown 

Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of squeezing/agitation! This week, Rit Breisler and I discuss washing machines. Learn:

• What fluid the ancient Romans used instead of detergent (hint: you're not gonna like it)
• What your washing machine's onboard computer is for (hint: computers don't wash clothes)
• Why washing machines have gotten so much more efficient in the last half century (hint: it's not the smartphone apps)

References:

• https://eaglesanddragonspublishing.com/ancient-everyday-pee-and-laundry-in-the-roman-world/
• https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/washing-machines-vintage-photos/
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US966677A/en
• https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/374286/degrowth-economic-growth-washing-machines-electricity-global-poverty
• https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-how-the-catholic-church-84227953/
• https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-two-how-the-catholic-church-84310436/
• https://appliance-standards.org/blog/new-spin-clothes-washer-efficiency-coming-january-2018
• https://home.howstuffworks.com/washer7.htm
• https://automaticwasher.org/threads/when-did-ge-start-using-electronics.62935/
• https://www.embedded.com/the-role-of-mcus-and-psocs-in-making-home-appliances-smarter/
• http://www.oldandinteresting.com/history-of-washing-clothes.aspx
• https://www.encyclopedia.com/science-and-technology/technology/technology-terms-and-concepts/washing-machine#2896500105
• https://www.gracesguide.co.uk/1862_London_Exhibition:_Catalogue:_Class_VIII.:_Richard_Lansdale
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US921195 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US2165884
• https://web.archive.org/web/20130523165728/http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture?id=1129064419 
• https://ifdesign.com/en/winner-ranking/project/national-na-v81/2264 
• https://www.whitegoodshelp.co.uk/how-long-should-a-washing-machine-last/ 
• https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225802892_Electricity_and_water_consumption_for_laundry_washing_by_washing_machine_worldwide 
• https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090312150735.htm 
• https://www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_the_magic_washing_machine
• https://academic.oup.com/book/10245

Jira: the bloated tick gorging itself on the software industry. Join me and CJ Horton to learn about:

• Henry Gantt, the absolute chart simp who gave your boss the idea to ask you about your progress every half hour
• Infinite backlogs: where hope goes to quietly die
• The heartbreaking story of a billionaire's impostor syndrome

References:

• https://www.seangoedecke.com/seeing-like-a-software-company/
• https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/atlassian-mike-cannon-brookes-and-scott-farquhar/id1150510297?i=1000508150130
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBmHXS3A6I
• https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/inside-the-atlassian-fallout-between-mike-cannonbrookes-and-scott-farquhar/news-story/ed90506fec79ee023d6f856592893c21
• https://www.realestate.com.au/news/37yearold-scott-farquhar-pays-more-than-70-million-for-derelict-fairfax-mansion-elaine/
• https://thedigitalprojectmanager.com/project-management/history-of-project-management-software/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/21573727.2011.609558
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-3-0-release-notes-720413090.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-4-0-release-notes-720413371.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-5-0-release-notes-720413987.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-6-0-release-notes-720413895.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-8-0-x-release-notes-957981626.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-9-0-x-release-notes-1142227613.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-10-0-x-release-notes-1416825224.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-11-0-x-release-notes-1587939582.html

Jira: the bloated tick gorging itself on the software industry. Join me and CJ Horton to learn about:

• Henry Gantt, the absolute chart simp who gave your boss the idea to ask you about your progress every half hour
• Infinite backlogs: where hope goes to quietly die
• The heartbreaking story of a billionaire's impostor syndrome

References:

• https://www.seangoedecke.com/seeing-like-a-software-company/
• https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/atlassian-mike-cannon-brookes-and-scott-farquhar/id1150510297?i=1000508150130
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBmHXS3A6I
• https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/inside-the-atlassian-fallout-between-mike-cannonbrookes-and-scott-farquhar/news-story/ed90506fec79ee023d6f856592893c21
• https://www.realestate.com.au/news/37yearold-scott-farquhar-pays-more-than-70-million-for-derelict-fairfax-mansion-elaine/
• https://thedigitalprojectmanager.com/project-management/history-of-project-management-software/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/21573727.2011.609558
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-3-0-release-notes-720413090.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-4-0-release-notes-720413371.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-5-0-release-notes-720413987.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-6-0-release-notes-720413895.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-8-0-x-release-notes-957981626.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-9-0-x-release-notes-1142227613.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-10-0-x-release-notes-1416825224.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-11-0-x-release-notes-1587939582.html

Is the world ready for a mattress that snaps shut like a Venus fly trap whenever Amazon AWS is down? Jeff Bonhag and I decide!

- The Bourbons: France's sleepiest monarchs
- What kind of animal Peter Thiel sleeps inside
- The $5000 AI-powered bed that saved DOGE, and also sometimes pisses itself

References:

• https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/04/140416-chimpanzees-trees-sleep-beds-animals-science/
• https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abc7239
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/x1GIkFiHgl
• https://aws.amazon.com/message/101925/
• https://www.404media.co/the-aws-outage-bricked-peoples-2-700-smartbeds/
• https://nymag.com/strategist/article/eight-sleep-pod-4-review.html
• https://www.eightsleep.com/science/
• https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/aws-crash-causes-2000-smart-beds-to-overheat-and-get-stuck-upright-3272251/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/0HKiHcCUDj
• https://www.uniladtech.com/news/tech-news/elon-musks-doge-sleep-pods-513132-20250205
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/3gM13Pw8Wo
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/legends-n-leaders/id1696212935?i=1000708827712

Remember those little strips that used to be on batteries, where you'd pinch it with your fingers and it'd say how much power it had left? This episode is about those! Join me and my buddy Manuel Wudka-Robles as we talk about:

• Why rivals Duracell and Energizer both announced versions of this feature on the same exact day
• How it worked
• Why they're not around anymore

References:

• https://tedium.co/2021/01/20/on-battery-power-meter-history/
  • https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-miami-herald-duracell-competing-pate/68078245/
  • https://patents.google.com/patent/US5015544A/en
  • https://patents.google.com/patent/US5059895A/en
  • https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB884214290310763000
  • https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB933034516816675358
  • https://www.newspapers.com/article/democrat-and-chronicle-duracell-battery/68078674/
  • https://www.supermarketnews.com/grocery-operations/testing-the-charge
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsA3X40nz9w

I sit down with my good friend Stephen Lauck to talk about wireless headphones – or, as we like to think of them, headphones with invisible wires.

We cover:

• Mark Zuckerberg's stupid glasses
• Nathan Baldwin, the theoretical polygamist who invented headphones
• The first stereo headphones, made by Koss
• The 1/8" audio jack
• The Walkman
• The regulation of the radio spectrum (chart)
• Ether landlords
• Bluetooth
• The iPhone 7 (the first iPhone without an 1/8" audio jack)

References:

• https://hifisoundgear.com/blogs/basics-and-beyond/when-was-the-headphone-jack-invented
• https://www.headphonesty.com/2021/05/when-were-headphones-invented/
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US454138A/en
• https://web.archive.org/web/20090911070726/http://www.historytogo.utah.gov/salt_lake_tribune/history_matters/070801.html
• https://www.millcreekut.gov/AgendaCenter/ViewFile/Item/695?fileID=27840 
• https://www.phonographia.com/FOTP%20MM/Koss.htm
• https://koss.com/pages/watch-the-history-of-koss
• https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-topics/g00726/walkman-story-the-early-years-of-the-iconic-personal-cassette-player.html
• https://www.jstor.org/stable/853362
• https://flypaper.soundfly.com/discovery/short-history-18-inch-headphone-jack/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20080624025103/http://www.iep.gmu.edu:80/UnlicensedWireless.php
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS0txu_Kzl8
• https://www.headphonesty.com/2025/03/real-reason-apple-killed-headphone-jack/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/iphone/comments/1dbj7ee/the_thickness_of_every_iphone_and_screen_size

Credits:

• Our theme music is by Magic AL