The web didn't have to be this way. Friend-of-the-pod CJ Horton joins us for a look at cookies: the completely reasonable web protocol that became host to the parasitic ad industry.

References:

• "Lou Montulli: Sexiest Internet Mogul." People. 15 November 1999.
• https://adtech.org/best-demand-side-platforms/
• https://www.wsj.com/articles/federal-agencies-use-cellphone-location-data-for-immigration-enforcement-11581078600
• http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2011/07/undeletable-cookie/
• https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/04/google-delays-third-party-cookie-death-again-now-scheduled-for-2025/
• https://arxiv.org/abs/cs/0105018
• https://blog.chromium.org/2020/04/temporarily-rolling-back-samesite.html
• https://blog.google/products/ads/next-steps-transparency-choice-control/
• https://blog.google/products/chrome/building-a-more-private-web/
• https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc2109
• https://digiday.com/uk/all-you-need-to-know-about-europes-data-privacy-regulations/
• https://github.com/w3c/web-advertising#ideas-and-proposals-links-outside-this-repo
• https://github.com/w3c/web-advertising/blob/main/OnlineAdvertisingParticipants.md
• https://github.com/w3c/web-advertising/blob/main/rtb-use-case.md
• https://github.com/w3c/web-advertising/blob/main/understanding-privacy-advocates.md
• https://googleblog.blogspot.com/2009/11/investing-in-mobile-future-with-admob.html
• https://help.imdb.com/article/imdb/general-information/why-should-i-register-on-imdb/GHB62T7USTMYMCDC?ref_=helpart_nav_3#
• https://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/ietf-http-wg/1995OctDec/0458.html
• https://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/ietf-http-wg/1995OctDec/0501.html
• https://privacysandbox.google.com/blog/privacy-sandbox-next-steps
• https://privacysandbox.google.com/cookies/storage-access-api
• https://privacysandbox.google.com/protections/privacy-budget
• https://safety.google/safety/ads-data/
• https://scholarship.law.vanderbilt.edu/jetlaw/vol1/iss1/4/
• https://support.google.com/adsense/answer/9560818?hl=en
• https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/09/google-acquires-admob/
• https://thehistoryoftheweb.com/your-privacy-policy-doesnt-mean-a-thing-regulating-privacy-on-the-web/
• https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2965
• https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6265
• https://w3cping.github.io/privacy-threat-model/
• https://web.archive.org/web/19991127212505/http://www.networkadvertising.org/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20000815060418/http://www.cookiecentral.com/faq/#2.3
• https://web.archive.org/web/20090627105722/http://www.cookiecentral.com/faq/#2.3
• https://web.archive.org/web/20100830143434/http://www.ecommerce-guide.com/article.php/3895466
• https://web.archive.org/web/20110530020518/http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/25/microsoft-security-idUSN2517397120110525
• https://web.archive.org/web/20120119215316/http://www.ecommerce-guide.com/article.php/3877261
• https://web.archive.org/web/20131209210402/http://news.cnet.com/8301-10789_3-9918582-57.html
• https://web.archive.org/web/20141127185609/http://www.computerworld.com/article/2510494/data-privacy/microsoft-disables--supercookies--used-on-msn-com-visitors.html
• https://web.archive.org/web/20170906230653/http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/M/magic-cookie.html
• https://webkit.org/blog/10218/full-third-party-cookie-blocking-and-more/
• https://webkit.org/blog/9661/preventing-tracking-prevention-tracking/
• https://www.baekdal.com/thoughts/the-original-cookie-specification-from-1997-was-gdpr-compliant/
• https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/computer-internet/computer-use-1984-2009.html
• https://www.cnet.com/news/privacy/google-finds-apple-safari-anti-tracking-feature-actually-enabled-tracking/

Kalshi: is it "the first federally regulated prediction market," or just a shittier FanDuel? Join me and friend-of-the-pod Jeff Bonhag to learn:

• What modern science has in common with rolling fox knuckles
• How Kalshi DOSed the Commodity Futures Trading Commission
• Why Donald Trump Jr is so interested in making prediction markets a thing

References:

• https://blockworks.co/podcast/empire/fbd446de-a7e3-11f0-8d81-6380135dcd93 
• https://businesslawreview.uchicago.edu/print-archive/event-contracts-are-step-too-far-derivatives-regulation 
• https://royalsocietypublishing.org/rspb/article-abstract/281/1784/20133305/77153/Decision-accuracy-in-complex-environments-is-often 
• https://comments.cftc.gov/PublicComments/ViewComment.aspx?id=70788
• https://epicwins.io/2025/10/12/kalshi-raises-300m-and-expands-to-over-140-countries/ 
• https://frontofficesports.com/kalshi-hit-with-nationwide-class-action-over-illegal-sports-betting/ 
• https://gamblingharm.org/kalshi-college-ambassadors-program/ 
• https://german.yale.edu/sites/default/files/hayek_-_the_use_of_knowledge_in_society.pdf 
• https://mickbransfield.com/2025/08/11/summary-of-legal-actions-involving-kalshis-sports-event-contracts/
• https://news.kalshi.com/p/kalshi-cnn-prediction-market-partnership 
• https://nexteventhorizon.substack.com/p/kalshi-and-tareks-not-so-excellent-pr-adventure 
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/empire/id1554930038?i=1000731608313 
• https://readwrite.com/kalshi-sued-massachusetts-illegal-sports-gambling/ 
• https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2016/07/why-political-betting-markets-are-failing.html 
• https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.cadc.41256/gov.uscourts.cadc.41256.1208669739.0.pdf 
• https://subscriber.politicopro.com/article/2023/11/kalshi-sues-cftc-over-election-betting-bid-denial-00124658 
• https://time.com/7095708/financial-scam-political-prediction-election/ 
• https://users.wfu.edu/strumpks/papers/JEP_2004.pdf 
• https://web.stanford.edu/~csimoiu/doc/wisdom-of-crowds.pdf 
• https://www.axios.com/2024/04/10/us-legal-betting-prediction-market-events-kalshi 
• https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-05-26/kalshi-s-stock-market-of-the-world-let-s-you-bet-on-anything https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-04-02/kalshi-s-top-lawyer-quits-to-become-leader-of-doge-team-at-sec https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-05-20/kalshi-pulls-announcement-of-xai-tie-up-hours-after-touting-deal 
• https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-04-20/hedge-funds-are-wooed-by-startup-to-bet-millions-on-real-events https://www.cnbc.com/2021/12/29/this-new-exchange-lets-investors-vote-yes-or-no-on-major-events-to-hedge-their-portfolios.html 
• https://www.cnbc.com/2024/10/09/kalshi-expands-election-betting-options-cftc-complains.html 
• https://www.cnbc.com/2025/01/13/kalshi-names-donald-trump-jr-as-strategic-advisor-to-prediction-market-firm.html 
• https://www.cnbc.com/2025/12/04/cnbc-and-kalshi-strike-exclusive-partnership.html 
• https://www.cnbc.com/video/2025/12/04/on-kalshi-there-is-no-house-anybody-can-win-says-ceo-tarek-mansour.html 
• https://www.covers.com/industry/kalshi-faces-class-action-over-alleged-unlicensed-sports-betting-nov-28-2025 
• https://www.eesi.org/articles/view/data-centers-and-water-consumption 
• https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2022/02/19/will-prediction-markets-live-up-to-the-hype 
• https://www.fastcompany.com/91399289/kalshi-prediction-markets-sports-gambling 
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/aliciapark/2025/12/02/how-kalshis-luana-lopes-lara-cofounder-went-from-professional-ballerina-to-worlds-youngest-self-made-woman-billionaire/ 
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffkauflin/2021/12/01/from-fintechs-crypto-top-...

This week we're joined by Brandon Romano to learn about Scantron: the company that made ubiquitous standardized testing possible. Find out:

• How standardized tests were graded in the 1500s (hint: it involved throwing corpses over walls)
• Why the hideous pseudoscience of eugenics is weirdly load-bearing for the SAT
• How Scantron uses infrared light to transmute those little number-2 pencil marks into college rejection letters

References:

• https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2023/09/schools-standardized-testing-assessment-ai-future/675366/ 
• https://blog.collegeboard.org/everything-you-need-know-about-digital-sat 
• https://edscoop.com/scantron-how-colleges-handle-old-unwanted-tech/ 
• https://edtechmagazine.com/higher/article/2016/12/scantron-technology-creates-more-efficient-testing 
• https://gizmodo.com/5908833/the-birth-of-scantrons-the-bane-of-standardized-testing 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US3050248A/en 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US3900961A/en 
• https://scantron.com/ScanToolsPlus/Help/v8/LINK/content/apicontent/overview/scanner_technology_overview.htm 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20120403020015/http://www-03.ibm.com/ibm/history/ibm100/us/en/icons/testscore/ 
• https://www.americanprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/10/LazarinOvertestingReport.pdf 
• https://www.cxomagazine.com/reimagining-data-intelligence-through-human-centered-innovation-and-ethical-ai/ 
• https://www.edutopia.org/blog/dark-history-of-multiple-choice-ainissa-ramirez 
• https://www.ipmetrics.net/blog/litigation/case-law/scantron-patent-marking/ 
• https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/latimes/name/william-sanders-obituary?id=17291417 
• https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/orangecounty/name/michael-sokolski-obituary?id=8415721&fhid=3071 
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/402857246/?match=1&terms=Scantron 
• https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/BdPM5tl48r 
• https://www.reddit.com/r/fgcu/comments/320qqk/whats_up_with_having_to_buy_our_own_scantron/ 
• https://www.scantron.com/blog/meet-mary-michael-sellers/ 
• https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300026399/chinas-examination-hell/ 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85gAfiJGpVM 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqRdrXUaESg 

This week and last, I'm joined by singer-songwriter Rachel Kiel to talk about Shazam: the massive data analytics platform that occasionally tells you the names of songs. Find out:

• How they use computers to turn all your favorite songs into constellations
• What other things you can Shazam, if you're not a music person
• What Shazam likes to do in its spare time, when you think it's not listening anymore

References:

• https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/11/24/shazam-for-ios-will-listen-to-songs-for-longer-before-giving-up
• https://appleinsider.com/articles/24/05/22/shazam-can-now-run-in-the-background-with-live-activities
• https://daniellenewnham.medium.com/fostering-innovation-and-choosing-the-right-founding-team-6287f7eed9f
• https://d3.harvard.edu/platform-digit/submission/shazam-predictive-analysis-for-the-music-industry/
• https://patents.justia.com/inventor/avery-li-chun-wang
• https://profwurzer.com/shazams-ip-fortress-layered-protection-built-a-billion-dollar-app/
• http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-shazam-effect/382237/
• https://venturebeat.com/social/shazam-american-idol/
• https://www.cnbc.com/2015/06/14/shazam-names-that-tune-drawing-in-money-and-users.html
• https://www.computerweekly.com/news/450409644/How-Shazam-handles-its-data-reserves
• https://www.ee.columbia.edu/~dpwe/papers/Wang03-shazam.pdf
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/averywang08/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/s/uX3Gjl7FUm
• https://www.seti.org/people/avery-wang/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3hNkU03sLA
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0m-G6iwrCw

This week and next, I'm joined by singer-songwriter Rachel Kiel to talk about Shazam: the massive data analytics platform that occasionally tells you the names of songs. Find out:

• How they use computers to turn all your favorite songs into constellations
• What other things you can Shazam, if you're not a music person
• What Shazam likes to do in its spare time, when you think it's not listening anymore

References:

• https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/11/24/shazam-for-ios-will-listen-to-songs-for-longer-before-giving-up
• https://appleinsider.com/articles/24/05/22/shazam-can-now-run-in-the-background-with-live-activities
• https://daniellenewnham.medium.com/fostering-innovation-and-choosing-the-right-founding-team-6287f7eed9f
• https://d3.harvard.edu/platform-digit/submission/shazam-predictive-analysis-for-the-music-industry/
• https://patents.justia.com/inventor/avery-li-chun-wang
• https://profwurzer.com/shazams-ip-fortress-layered-protection-built-a-billion-dollar-app/
• http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-shazam-effect/382237/
• https://venturebeat.com/social/shazam-american-idol/
• https://www.cnbc.com/2015/06/14/shazam-names-that-tune-drawing-in-money-and-users.html
• https://www.computerweekly.com/news/450409644/How-Shazam-handles-its-data-reserves
• https://www.ee.columbia.edu/~dpwe/papers/Wang03-shazam.pdf
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/averywang08/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/s/uX3Gjl7FUm
• https://www.seti.org/people/avery-wang/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3hNkU03sLA
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0m-G6iwrCw

It looks like you're trying to listen to a podcast. Would you like some help with that? Join me and my guest Dana Vannen Anderson for the bizarre and frequently cringe story of Clippy, the paperclip that us helped write a thousand letters. Find out:

• Where we got the notion that your computer should act like a person
• Why Microsoft ditched the idea of Clippy ever shutting the fuck up
• What celebrated actor brought the paperclip to life for Office XP's mortifying launch campaign

References:

• https://arxiv.org/pdf/1301.7385
• https://jesse.cafe/blog/packard-bell-navigator/
• https://guidebookgallery.org/tutorials/packardbellnavigator39/gettingstarted 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20110504005120/https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2008/04/-quot-clippy-quot-update-now-with-organizational-anthropology/8006/ 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20110124023627/http://blogs.msdn.com/b/chris_pratley/archive/2004/01/31/65479.aspx 
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHgzgbLwhKM#t=1m41s 
• https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/nov/07/chatgpt-lawsuit-suicide-coach 
• https://web.archive.org/web/20070212204645/http://lis.dickinson.edu/Technology/Training/Tutorials/MsOffice/assistant.htm
• https://web.archive.org/web/20010812061222/http://www.microsoft.com/office/clippy/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20190214194638/https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/techtalk/2005/12/16/pm-at-microsoft/
• https://web.archive.org/web/20121024125147/http://news.cnet.com/2100-1001-255671.html
• https://www.seattlemet.com/news-and-city-life/2022/08/origin-story-of-clippy-the-microsoft-office-assistant 
• https://magnus919.com/2025/05/the-rise-and-fall-of-clippy-from-microsofts-bold-vision-to-internet-legend/ 
• https://spir.aoir.org/ojs/index.php/spir/article/view/10923/9596 
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/1143853682/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/295620970/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/770293367/
• https://www.newspapers.com/image/658114957/
• https://usatoday30.usatoday.com/tech/news/2001-05-03-clippy-campaign.htm 
• https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/191666.191703
• https://archive.org/details/g4tv.com-video4080 
• https://hardcoresoftware.learningbyshipping.com/p/042-clippy-the-fcking-clown 

Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of squeezing/agitation! This week, Rit Breisler and I discuss washing machines. Learn:

• What fluid the ancient Romans used instead of detergent (hint: you're not gonna like it)
• What your washing machine's onboard computer is for (hint: computers don't wash clothes)
• Why washing machines have gotten so much more efficient in the last half century (hint: it's not the smartphone apps)

References:

• https://eaglesanddragonspublishing.com/ancient-everyday-pee-and-laundry-in-the-roman-world/
• https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/washing-machines-vintage-photos/
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US966677A/en
• https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/374286/degrowth-economic-growth-washing-machines-electricity-global-poverty
• https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-how-the-catholic-church-84227953/
• https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-two-how-the-catholic-church-84310436/
• https://appliance-standards.org/blog/new-spin-clothes-washer-efficiency-coming-january-2018
• https://home.howstuffworks.com/washer7.htm
• https://automaticwasher.org/threads/when-did-ge-start-using-electronics.62935/
• https://www.embedded.com/the-role-of-mcus-and-psocs-in-making-home-appliances-smarter/
• http://www.oldandinteresting.com/history-of-washing-clothes.aspx
• https://www.encyclopedia.com/science-and-technology/technology/technology-terms-and-concepts/washing-machine#2896500105
• https://www.gracesguide.co.uk/1862_London_Exhibition:_Catalogue:_Class_VIII.:_Richard_Lansdale
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US921195 
• https://patents.google.com/patent/US2165884
• https://web.archive.org/web/20130523165728/http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture?id=1129064419 
• https://ifdesign.com/en/winner-ranking/project/national-na-v81/2264 
• https://www.whitegoodshelp.co.uk/how-long-should-a-washing-machine-last/ 
• https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225802892_Electricity_and_water_consumption_for_laundry_washing_by_washing_machine_worldwide 
• https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090312150735.htm 
• https://www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_the_magic_washing_machine
• https://academic.oup.com/book/10245

Jira: the bloated tick gorging itself on the software industry. Join me and CJ Horton to learn about:

• Henry Gantt, the absolute chart simp who gave your boss the idea to ask you about your progress every half hour
• Infinite backlogs: where hope goes to quietly die
• The heartbreaking story of a billionaire's impostor syndrome

References:

• https://www.seangoedecke.com/seeing-like-a-software-company/
• https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/atlassian-mike-cannon-brookes-and-scott-farquhar/id1150510297?i=1000508150130
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBmHXS3A6I
• https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/inside-the-atlassian-fallout-between-mike-cannonbrookes-and-scott-farquhar/news-story/ed90506fec79ee023d6f856592893c21
• https://www.realestate.com.au/news/37yearold-scott-farquhar-pays-more-than-70-million-for-derelict-fairfax-mansion-elaine/
• https://thedigitalprojectmanager.com/project-management/history-of-project-management-software/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/21573727.2011.609558
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-3-0-release-notes-720413090.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-4-0-release-notes-720413371.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-5-0-release-notes-720413987.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-6-0-release-notes-720413895.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-8-0-x-release-notes-957981626.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-9-0-x-release-notes-1142227613.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-10-0-x-release-notes-1416825224.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-11-0-x-release-notes-1587939582.html

Jira: the bloated tick gorging itself on the software industry. Join me and CJ Horton to learn about:

• Henry Gantt, the absolute chart simp who gave your boss the idea to ask you about your progress every half hour
• Infinite backlogs: where hope goes to quietly die
• The heartbreaking story of a billionaire's impostor syndrome

References:

• https://www.seangoedecke.com/seeing-like-a-software-company/
• https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/atlassian-mike-cannon-brookes-and-scott-farquhar/id1150510297?i=1000508150130
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBmHXS3A6I
• https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/inside-the-atlassian-fallout-between-mike-cannonbrookes-and-scott-farquhar/news-story/ed90506fec79ee023d6f856592893c21
• https://www.realestate.com.au/news/37yearold-scott-farquhar-pays-more-than-70-million-for-derelict-fairfax-mansion-elaine/
• https://thedigitalprojectmanager.com/project-management/history-of-project-management-software/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/21573727.2011.609558
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-3-0-release-notes-720413090.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-4-0-release-notes-720413371.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-5-0-release-notes-720413987.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jira064/jira-6-0-release-notes-720413895.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-8-0-x-release-notes-957981626.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-9-0-x-release-notes-1142227613.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-10-0-x-release-notes-1416825224.html
• https://confluence.atlassian.com/jirasoftware/jira-software-11-0-x-release-notes-1587939582.html

Is the world ready for a mattress that snaps shut like a Venus fly trap whenever Amazon AWS is down? Jeff Bonhag and I decide!

- The Bourbons: France's sleepiest monarchs
- What kind of animal Peter Thiel sleeps inside
- The $5000 AI-powered bed that saved DOGE, and also sometimes pisses itself

References:

• https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/04/140416-chimpanzees-trees-sleep-beds-animals-science/
• https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abc7239
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/x1GIkFiHgl
• https://aws.amazon.com/message/101925/
• https://www.404media.co/the-aws-outage-bricked-peoples-2-700-smartbeds/
• https://nymag.com/strategist/article/eight-sleep-pod-4-review.html
• https://www.eightsleep.com/science/
• https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/aws-crash-causes-2000-smart-beds-to-overheat-and-get-stuck-upright-3272251/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/0HKiHcCUDj
• https://www.uniladtech.com/news/tech-news/elon-musks-doge-sleep-pods-513132-20250205
• https://www.reddit.com/r/EightSleep/s/3gM13Pw8Wo
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/legends-n-leaders/id1696212935?i=1000708827712