Tim and John spotlight a GoFundMe created to support the beloved Oscar’s in Palm Springs. Then, two Texas would-be warlords hatch a delusional plan to “invade” a Haitian island of nearly 90,000 residents—complete with vile fantasies straight out of a bad movie script. And finally, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth unveils a slate of new military operation names that, frankly, sound a lot more like titles from a gay adult film catalog than official Pentagon campaigns.

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