The 100 Word Stories Podcast

The school had lots of tennis courts, but Edgar didn’t like tennis. There were two full-size gyms, but Edgar wasn’t in a basketball either. There was a running track around an immaculately kept football field with a huge scoreboard, but Edgar didn’t do either. The two swimming pools had no appeal, and multiple baseball on softball diamonds weren’t of interest. The varsity, junior, varsity, and practice soccer fields or full every year, but Edgar never went out for any of those. And yet, he lettered all four years. Nobody knew what he lettered in, the jacket still fit really snazzily.

It’s kinda hard to compete in soap box racing when you live in a flat village. No hills, not even a high road or overpass. The kids of Doris, Indiana went to the next town over to try out their vehicles on Carson Street. It didn’t have much of an incline, and it was not quite long enough for regulation. And it ended in Parson McPherson‘s driveway. He put up a bunch of hay bales in front of his garage for the kids who didn’t have brakes on their cars. Eventually, Doris rigged up a track using high school bleachers..

Darwin runs the outpost in the pipeline sector. He jokingly calls the tavern, the best beer in town. He brews his own out back, and it’s pretty bad. And he makes the absolute worst pizza to go with it. I mean, the dough and the sauce and cheese it makes you nostalgic for that horrible sheet pizza they made in the cafeteria at school. If you don’t like it, he says, he points out the door. The next town is more than a week hike through the snow. We all laugh. This is why I have whiskey flown in monthly.

Back in my day, when we held the town lottery, we didn’t use foam rubber rocks to throw at the sacrifice for the harvest symbolically. We used real rocks. Actual people got sacrificed and killed. None of this dodgeball crap where the kids are laughing and the sacrifice gets up and the mayor hands them a basket of cookies or a new toaster. There was real blood. There was real fear. And the crops, they came in much better and bigger and tastier. And the way you kids act, I wouldn’t mind hucking a rock at your damn fool heads.

Every day, Dan showed up at the shelter with his daughter Sarah. She’d pick out a black cat, name it Lucky, and take it home. She was so happy, petting and feeding Lucky. While she slept, Dan drove Lucky to the shelter, where Dan would show up with Sarah to pick out Lucky again. A new volunteer asked about this, the shelter coordinator said look at the girl’s head, it wasn’t quite right. Her hair covered… something. A bump? A divot? There was a crack in Dan’s windshield, a dent in the bumper. It’s all she knows, so play along.

The next topic is Midnight

RICHARD

Trapped

LIZZIE

She was afraid. The wind whispered the arrival of a storm. He sat next to her, looking pleased with himself. The more she tried to disappear in a corner, the happier he looked, and the worse the storm became. She started crying, and so did the rain. It’ll be good for your flowers, he said. The flowers he would place on her grave, she thought. She was very afraid… The next morning, the flowers were all dead. He couldn’t understand it. When she fled, she took with her one pot with a sunflower. She wasn’t afraid anymore. The sunflower bloomed.

LISA

The Interview

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina continued, “Now, I can’t stop my thoughts. I want to turn my head inside out and dump the horrific images on the floor and sweep them out the front door.”

Dumbfounded, Billbert stood, gawping at Sabrina.

Mrs. Weinerheimer sat next to Sabrina and put an arm around her shoulder. “If you tell us, it might help.”

With large gaps, she said, “I see Billbert and her.” “They’re, you know, hugging, and stuff.” “Then she has a knife and she’s stabbing.” “Stabbing Billbert.” “And she stands up, blood covering her naked body.”

Billbert gasped. “Who’s blood? Does she kill me?”

SERENDIPIDY

I’ve always had a fascination for what makes things go.

PLANET Z

The programming language Pascal is named after Blaise Pascal the mathematician, and python is named after Monty Python, the comedy troupe, but did you know that Fort Tran was named after Francis Fortran, a star basketball player in the early 1940s. He didn’t shoot much and he wasn’t good at blocking or steals, but man, the dude could pass. They called him Francis of Assisti. after his playing days, he finished his physics degree, and got into computing. A classmate of his decided to name the programming language after him to keep Francis from reporting on him cheating on exams.

Woodbury high school has a tradition where the most hated kid in school is loaded into a cannon, which is rolled out to the middle of the field during homecoming, and the Cannon is fired. Voting takes place that week and the candidates are kidnaped from class Friday morning homeroom. The winner, or you can call them a loser, is revealed at the game, sometimes the kids try to run and hide, but the county sheriff keeps an eye on them all week. Most human cannonball cannons use hydraulics or slingshots. Woodbury uses real explosives. So watch your ass kid.

The headlines shouted Dylan goes electric. The next day, they shouted Orbison goes nuclear. After that, Pat Boone went steam powered. Bob Denver, he went solar powered, you know, because he was all about the environment. Gene Simmons went wind powered for a while, but he couldn’t make any music on calm days. Musicians around the world embraced alternative energies. Geothermal, wave, action, capture, hydraulic piston, powered by tidal forces, hydroelectric, you name it. Some artist tried to go liquid natural gas, and a few defiantly clung to human power, but the liberal media shunned their efforts and championed Dylan.

Rip Binkel was the best scorer on the basketball team, but that really didn’t mean much considering he made maybe six or seven points a night and everyone else was tripping and stumbling on the hardwood. Plus, there were a hell of a lot of kids shooting up for the team spreading out the points before they trip and fall from all the other kids stumbling around. The coach would drag a kid off the court, smack another one on the back, and say get in there, then light another cigarette. A tornado hit the gym, they never rebuilt it.

Dave thought it would be funny to name his kids, Alexa, Siri, and OK Google. He could tell his smart home to do something and the kids would think he was talking to them and he’d say no I’m talking to the house. Until the kids were old enough to tell the family therapist about their anxiety and neurosis. One night Dave woke up, tied to the bed, his kids standing over him with knives and huge creepy grins. Let me go, demanded Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. The kids said in unison, stabbing their father to death.