RichardLizzieTomLisaSerendipidyNorval JoePlanet ZThe next topic is It’s going down…
It felt good to be out cruising along, feeling the breeze beneath my wings. Endless possibilities for the day lay ahead.
My driver today was old and small. He struggled to see over the dashboard. Our eyes met but I don’t think he saw me stuck to the windscreen. I could hear his music through the glass.
We travelled together as companions for miles until a jet of water unseated me. I had a nauseating lurch back and forth on the wipers before they came to a stop with a screeching judder.
I realised then, my time was nearly up.
There are some things you just don’t want to hear when cruising at twenty thousand feet.
Things like… “Brace for impact!”, “This is a hijack!”, or “Can you smell burning?”
Thankfully, that’s not a situation I’ve ever found myself having to face, but believe me, I’m prepared.
I think I’ve watched every flight disaster movie that’s ever been released. Twice.
I always try to sit over a wing, or next to an emergency exit. Preferably both.
And, unlike you, I always pay attention to the in-flight safety briefing.
Want my advice?
If you ever fly… Sit next to me!
It’s Friday night, and I’m getting ready to go out, like so many others will be, the world over.
I’ve showered, done my nails and make -up, picked out a killer outfit, and spritzed myself with fragrance.
And, of course, I’ve had a couple of drinks to get me in the mood.
But I’m not meeting up with the girls, hitting a nightclub or even going out with a hot date. My night will be very different.
Tonight, I’ll be cruising the streets; looking for unfortunate victims to feed my craving.
I did say I’d picked out a ‘killer’ outfit.
Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. Don’t look back you can never look back
When I met my first wife, I was living high in Santa Cruz. She was a Walnut Creek Girl with a Fortune 500 Father. I a proto-hippy. One of the oddest things we share was a love of cursing. In northern California lexicon there is phrase: Cruising the Main. And of course, cruising the boardwalk was understood in 174 different languages. We young poor and in need of cheap entertainment. Oh, what a circle that was. Buckets of pills and clouds of pot. Lot and lot of free Booze. One night I even ran it to Both toms: Waits and Lehrer.
The pelican flew over the cruise ship. The tourists took their phones out to start lives. Look, look, a bird. Most didn’t even know it was a pelican. Some called him a giant seagull. But the pelican flew over again. After the lives came the photos. Social media is hungry, let’s post some photos and show off our ignorance. The pelican flew back and forth. Suddenly, he pooped on the tourists. Shrieks of amusement and more lives, featuring the pooped deck. Likes, hearts, laughing emojis. Then, the pelican flew away, grunting, “bring fish, next time!” and thinking humans are idiots.
With students cruising past them to class, Mandi realized she had said too much.
“He has what?” Bobbi gasped.
“Gotta go to the bathroom.” Mandi hurried into the girl’s room.
She locked herself in a stall, pulled out her phone, and texted Sabrina. Where are you and Billbert?
She read the reply quickly, opened the stall door, and ran into Bobbi, her phone still in her hand.
“Who did you call?” Bobbi demanded.
Mandi shrugged. “I texted Sabrina, but I don’t think it was her.”
Mandi frowned deep in thought. “She called me Linoliumanda and not Lindimindi.”
At night on every cruise ship when the lights are turned off so you can look up and see the stars. Living in the city a lot of the night sky gets washed out by street lights. Even in the country you still get some light pollution. but out on the deep ocean you can see everything and it’s really mind blowing with everyone looking up. Some people trying to take pictures with their phones, not turning off the flash and running it for everyone. At least when it’s dark, nobody can see that it’s you who pushed them overboard.
