The Advisory

On this week’s episode we’re chatting about whether or not you should share your furry secret with the family, weddings tearing friendships apart (or secretly using them to cut ties) and DC's new hit TV series The Furry Fighters. 

--

This week's feature advice seeker asks:

I am 22 years old and getting married soon. Since my fiancé and I are child-free and plan to have alcohol at our wedding, we decided on a child-free wedding with an age cutoff at 21.

Most of our invitees have accepted this requirement, but my friend 'Mel' who is 20 years old was excluded from the guest list. When she confronted me, I tried to explain that it was not personal, and I did not want to worry about underage drinking at my wedding.

However, Mel accused me of being a bad friend and did not understand my reasoning. Despite my efforts, Mel continues to talk about me behind my back and make snarky comments.

I feel that as the bride and an adult, it is my responsibility to prevent underage drinking and have the right to have a child-free wedding. I wish Mel could understand and let me have my wedding day the way I want.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

Youtube -- https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 09.02.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

On this week’s episode we’re chatting about biting your boss, murdering your doppelganger to fake your own death, the peeping tom next door and dealing with the podcast lawyers.

--

This week's feature advice seeker asks:

I work in an incredibly dysfunctional office. The tone is set by our office manager. He’s in his fifties, has always worked in an office setting, and is difficult. Things are right if it’s in his favor and wrong if anyone else does it. He once cursed at me and called me a child for asking him not to say I’m prettier if I smile. He then didn’t speak to me for a year — which was a relief.

Well, yesterday, I had a meeting with a coworker. (If it makes a difference, the office manager and I are on the same level, as is the person I was meeting with.) My hands were full of paperwork and a full mug. When I got to the coworker’s office, the office manager was in the doorway, braced with one arm stretched across the opening. I stopped, said, “Excuse me, I have a meeting.” Aaaaaand he refused to move. He replied that he didn’t give a s*** and it wasn’t his problem. The coworker grimaced but said nothing, as is usual for our office.

Normally, I’d sit and argue. Rarely, I’m able to convince him to move. In those cases, I’d put down my things in the office and wait for the colleague and him to finish speaking. They don’t work together or like each other, but they angry-gossip frequently.

This time — this time I bit him. I don’t know! His arm was in front of my face, my hands were full, I know from experience he almost never moves, and I’m reaaaaally busy right now.

In any case, I bit him, over his sleeve, pulled back, and we just sort of stared at each other for a second, because … wow. He finally got his feet under him, figuratively, and retaliated by stomping on my feet (I was in ballet flats and he had heeled dress shoes) and shoving me. As I’m regaining my balance and trying to save my feet, I dropped my mug, which shattered. At that point, he stopped and bent to pick up the shards. I ducked into the office and shut and locked the door. Not helping him pick up the shards angered him more.

I’ve since apologized. He accepted gracefully, while admitting no fault on his part.

Thank you for considering my question. I suppose most everything is solved by “walking away,” but I feel helpless and clearly spiral a bit into wild behavior when at a loss…

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YOUTUBE ► https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 02.02.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

It's a wild ride on this episode where we chat about the current state of true crime listeners, the interface, a dad who's making his children collect their hair for his great annual hair burning ritual, a Batman villain setting up an Etsy store at work and neighbours borrowing things, giving them away and then acting like they never borrowed them in the first place.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

My neighbor borrowed a tool and gave it away.

So around 2-3 years ago I overheard my colleague's husband talking about needing a belt sander for a project that he was working on, so I lent him by 3" Makita belt sander.

Its usefulness is rather limited, and I've only used it maybe 3 times, so I forgot that I had even lent it to him until a few months ago when I found some replacement belts and memory dawned on me.

I asked him about it the next time I saw him. He claims not to remember having got it from me, and has given it to one of his friends who had lent him other tools.

I'm not usually one for making a scene, so I didn't press the subject very hard, but I want my tool back. It was like $350 CAD, and besides that, it's mine.

I'm fairly certain her husband is a decent person and this is truly a mistake. I have a great deal of respect for my colleague, so I would like to minimize any potential grievances that could arise between us because of the circumstances.

I have no idea how to approach the issue. I really don't want to eat the loss, but l dont see avenues besides live and learn, move on and be smarter next time.

Keep your, "write your name on it"'s, "spray paint it pink"'s, and other obvious remarks to yourselves please. What I'm hoping to find is advice and opinion on how to approach the subject with my friend and her husband without burning a bridge. Or if you think eating the loss really is the best choice.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YOUTUBE ► https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TIKTOK ► https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

INSTAGRAM ► https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety

TWITTER ► https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 25.01.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

02:02 - Are true crime listeners okay?

04:45 - Ancient idioms

06:00 - The interface

16:44 - Question: The Hair Hider - My dad collects our hair for an annual hair burning ritual

47:05 - Question: The Bank Teller Seller - My co-worker is selling his own products at work

1:11:46 - The Hairy Man Folklore 

1:17:02 - Feature Question: My neighbor gave my tools away and claimed he didn't remember borrowing them

1:30:04 - Outro

In this episode we chat about the hollywood blacklist’s best screenplays of 2022, doing it for the ‘gram, performative social media, why Shredder from TMNT is shredded and dealing with a shitty neighbour.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

How do I stand up to my older neighbor?

I’m 27F, I live with my fiancé and our three year old son. My neighbor who’s in his 60s sold us the house. Not only did he lie about the basement flooding, he’s also quite misogynistic and makes rude comments about me “clogging the drains with feminine hygiene products” instead of admitting that the basement flooded before we moved in.

We live on a private lane, he narrows the entrance to the lane where he lives with barricades so no one accidentally drives onto his grass. The issue here is that fire trucks can’t get back our lane. The borough we live in doesn’t see it as a problem and he doesn’t care.

He got mean with me today for asking about it. I don’t know how to stand up for myself. I’m afraid of getting into it with someone who lives right beside me.

I’ve been taught to kill with kindness but I’m afraid I just look weak and dumb. When he’s being an ass what do I say? How do I grow a set?

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YOUTUBE ► https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TIKTOK ► https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

INSTAGRAM ► https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety

TWITTER ► https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 19.01.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

00:57 - We love a logline

02:52 - The Hollywood Blacklist

04:08 - My dad hates movies

09:17 - The best unproduced screenplays

28:48 - Insta-Repeat: Performative Social Media

40:50 - Filming and posting your lowest moments

51:38 - Marvel’s Midnight Suns

55:28 - What we didn’t get to

57:20 - Why Shredder is shreded

1:00:41 - Feature Question: Should I fight my neighbour?

1:14:53 - Advice for advice podcasts

1:24:06 - Outro

In this episode we chat about sneaking snacks, podcasts getting way too horny, sleep screaming and my job's mandatory feelings chart.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

I work in a large company office where my team's work can be stressful. To address this, my managers have implemented a feelings chart with giant emojis to represent different emotions and a sticker system for staff to indicate their feelings at the start and end of each day.

While the intention may be good, I find the system unsettling as participation is mandatory and can be enforced. Furthermore, I am concerned about how responses could be used against us and how it could negatively impact those dealing with mental health challenges.

I am unsure if this type of system has been used before, and I am unsure if I should participate or push back. If I do push back, I am unsure how to frame my objections.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansoci...

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 12.01.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

00:55 - AI replacements

03:52 - David's anti-charcuterie sentiment

07:34 - The mystery meal

13:16 - Sneaking snacks

20:21 - Podcasts have gotten way too randy

38:10 - Question: Screaming in my sleep

55:17 - Feature Question: My job's unhinged mandatory feelings chart

1:15:25 - ChatGPT tries to solve our feature question

1:23:45 - How business is like the bedroom

1:32:57 - Outro

In this episode we chat about 2023's energy - new year cool me, Mr Avatar & Jimmy Cameron's Avatar 2, not speaking January, Matthew McConaughey does an Ad read, trill books and social media being more important than your family.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

I (f40) freely admit I LOVE social media and pretty much share my life, as per many people. I’m very proud of my accomplishments and deserve to share them. I have 2 beautiful kids (mid teens) who I raise well, I train hard and take a lot of care over my appearance and clothes choices. I work hard and look after my beautiful home. We’re also lucky to enjoy nice holidays. I share most of this as well as venting about say poor customer service and most of my friends expect this. I accept this isn’t for everyone but they can just scroll past.

This involves my sister’s SIL (her DHs sister). Let’s call her Sam (45). We are linked on SM and see each other occasionally at my sisters. Sister and Sam post a bit but not much and rarely comment on my posts. Up to them.

Sister has 2 kids, late teens. Sam does not have kids. I heard unofficially from sis a few years ago that she’d had fertility treatment which hadn’t worked. We’ve never spoken about it.

Sister’s daughters ADORE Sam. She’s also their Aunty. When she’s there I don’t get a look-in. She spoils them. I think she does it on purpose.

We were at sister’s house for a pre-Christmas party. 

I was taking photos and eldest niece (16) wanted to vet them before I posted them. This went on a bit too long (she looked good in all of them). My daughter does the same and I eventually made an executive decision to post the perfect picture anyway. Niece was upset. Sam took her side (sis was out of the room) and said it was up to niece. I said she couldn’t always get her own way, she needed to learn life was about compromise. 

Sam said we weren’t the Kardashians ! and niece had the right of veto.

Calling me Kim Kardashian felt so disrespectful and I said I was proud of family and she would understand if she’d had her own kids. She flinched but didn’t really respond and was icy to me all evening. My DH apologised to her on my behalf (!) which she didn’t even accept, and niece actually shouted at me.

After my sister and even BIL were angry when they found out (called me later). But I didn’t refer to her infertility and what she said was really disrespectful, as if she was better than me.

Am I really in the wrong? What do I do now?

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansoci...

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 05.01.23.

---

00:00 - It begins!

00:23 - New year, cool me

07:38 - Mr Avatar

18:51 - The Post-Pandora Blues

22:25 - Avatar 2: Inside the Writers Room

24:40 - David goes to the movies

27:32 - The Best of Cinema Advertising

29:35 - We don't speak January - getting into shape for 2023

33:00 - Matthew McConaughey does an ad read

44:29 - Question: Writing a book about maths

47:25 - The difference between cool books, dope books and trill books

49:55 - A man dedicated to his craft

51:31 - Feature Question: Kid shaming my sister IRL

1:15:48 - The future of social media

1:18:10 - Outro

In this episode we discuss the ethics of AI gifting, how to swindle a secret santa, family grinchin', LARPing the holidays and cheating Christmas with technology.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

My husband (27M) is a talented pianist. He is not active in any groups or anything, but he learned as a teen and it has always come naturally to him and he still likes to sit down and play. I (24F) grew up taking piano lessons for 10 years and also enjoy it. For a Christmas present, I decided to learn one of his favorite piano pieces and make him a recording of it, a gift I know he would love for its meaning and sentimentalism.

My dilemma is this: I really only started practicing the song on December 1st, and it is DIFFICULT. he admitted that it’s above even his skill level at some spots, and he is definitely the more talented between the two of us. being honest with myself, it is unlikely that I will be able to learn the entire thing in time. However, I do think that I could learn each hand individually and then overlay the separate tracks on the garage band, creating the whole song.

On one hand, I think he would admire the dedication to learning it in any manner (especially because he knows how much I procrastinate and how I tend to get discouraged easily). On the other hand, it kind of feels like cheating, and is not as authentic. mostly i just overthink everything and would like an unbiased perspective.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansoci...

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 22.12.22.

---

00:00 - It begins!

00:45 - The dangers of Christmas magic

08:58 - David Grinches Christmas

10:20 - Guess the Forehead - Christmas Edition

28:10 - The Zeitgeist Guru

29:18 - Guess the Album Based on the 1 Star Review

41:55 - Question: Don't Know What To Get My GF

51:18 - Question: Swindling the Secret Santa

59:55 - LARPing the Holidays (#LetsGetToxic)

1:05:33 - Question: Family Grinching

1:15:50 - The State of Christmas Address

1:22:50 - Feature Question: Cheating Christmas with Technology

1:41:32 - Outro

In this episode we discuss the cat sitting stitch up, failing to do the social dance, mix tape bluffin, Dr D-Mac in the up late lounge and the person at my job driving me to quit.

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

I am a manager in finance and accounting, and I have an employee who is constantly interrupting me and causing me stress.

Despite trying various strategies like setting boundaries and giving her dedicated time, she continues to interrupt me and cause emotional meltdowns. I have even sought help from the CFO and CEO, but they have been unable to come up with a solution.

I am considering stepping down as a manager because of how exhausting and frustrating this has become. Can you offer any advice on how to deal with this situation?

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansoci...

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 15.12.22.

---

00:00 - It begins!

02:10 - The Cat Sitting Stitch Up

11:25 - The Holiday Season

17:45 - Question: How someone may show they're attracted to you

19:35 - Bluffing with a Fake Mixtape

23:51 - Dr D-Mac in the Up Late Lounge (Warning Ladies - This is too sexy)

37:45 - Feature Question: I Want to Quit My Job

1:02:32 - Elon Musk, Not The Richest Man

1:04:05 - Outro

In this episode we use chatgpt to handle tough conversations with our friends, Home Alone tactics to stop your roommate from hanging out in your room and replacing yourself with anime AI.

---

00:00 - It begins!

04:22 - Using AI to maintain your friendships

09:35 - ChatGPT for those tough conversations

13:09 -  Which type of coding gives you the best work life balance

19:23 - Why is Leonardo DiCaprio aging so badly

22:00 - Content creation during global events

23:23 - AI gifting

27:33 - Question: My roommate keeps hanging out in my room

38:15 - The Yes button ruins my life

45:20 - Guess The Forehead

58:35 - The Feature Question: I'm into my manager

1:14:13 - Replacing a host with anime AI

1:27: 50 - Outro

---

This week's feature advice seeker:

I am a 19 year old male who works in fast food. My manager, who is a 22 year old female, is someone I am close with, although she insists we are just platonic friends.

However, she behaves flirtatiously towards me, tells me about her type and we have slept in the same bed together. She is also physically affectionate with me and makes an effort to talk to me, but then blocks me randomly and says we are only platonic friends.

She claims not to be a good texter, but responds quickly to me and puts effort into our conversations. I have caught feelings for her and am frustrated by the inconsistency in her behavior. I have blocked her on iMessage, but am considering confronting her about it.

I am not sure what to do.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansoci...

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 07.12.22.

In this episode we guess some famous faces based solely on their foreheads and discuss spotify wrapped 2022, hidden cameras in share houses and Ashton Kutcher's responsibility for online pranks and the rise of Jake and Logan Paul.

---

00:00 - It begins!

---

I am a student and my twin sister is a waitress. We are living in an apartment with an older man who is close to 25 years older than us. He has children and a house, but he decided to get an apartment and we both moved in with him. Most of the time, it's just my sister and I in the apartment. He pays most of the rent, even though he is not here very often, because he has more money than we do. The other day, his friend came over and they set up something by the window, which they said was a CO2 detector.

However, my sister later discovered that it was actually a home surveillance camera. She got angry because he didn't tell her what it really was and because he installed it without asking permission from anyone. He claims that he has the right to put up a camera without asking because it's his place, even though we contribute to the rent. He also said that he wasn't hiding the fact that he was putting up a camera because he did it in front of my sister.

He claims it's because he keeps a lot of money in the apartment, but there are already surveillance cameras in the hallway. He says his friend gave him the camera as a gift. He thinks he did nothing wrong and is calling my sister and getting mad at her. He now says that she needs to pay half the rent, even though we can't afford it. I don't know what to do and I'm looking for advice.

---

If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube  |  TikTok  |  Instagram  |  Twitter

---

This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 01.12.22.