In this episode we discuss trapping your friends in their workplace persona, dealing with an overzealous boss, and Oculus VR headsets that actually kill you.

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00:00 - It begins

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This week's feature advice seeker: 

I am a frequent long-term contractor at a very small company. There are two owners, two full-time employees, and a handful of freelancers and interns at any one time. The owners are wonderful people whom I enjoy spending time with, but they have a practice that some coworkers and I feel conflicted about: they expect us to eat lunch with them in the office every day. And pay (and shop) for it.

They send a tin around every week to collect our lunch payments, which supposedly are based on how much we are paid (my expected weekly contribution is $40). We take turns shopping for the lunch and assembling it. The owners think this is wonderful “family” time and feel it’s an added benefit for those who work there. On your first day, they say, “This is what we do for lunch” and after that, you’re locked in.

The problem is that sometimes we don’t want to all eat lunch together and feel pressure or worry about appearances if we decline. I’ve only known one freelancer who didn’t participate, and they said things like “Does he not like us?” “Is he anti-social?” So you pretty much have to participate or you’re sort of an outsider.

I’d be happy to do it sometimes, even more than once a week, just not always. What’s troubling is the expectation that everyone participate every day. Is there any kind way to inform the owners that something that they clearly love isn’t working for everyone? They would be hurt if they knew that some employees just want to get away for an hour.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube  |  TikTok  |  Instagram  |  Twitter

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 25.11.22.

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 03.11.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

I was hoping you would be able to help me with a conundrum I got myself into.

I have been an expat since graduating and have been moving a lot. More than a decade ago, when I was still young, I was in a relationship with a woman, Sylvia, in a country where we both lived. Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends.

Anyhow, fast forward to now. I now work as a math teacher in an international school. I have been in other relationships since, so Sylvia is a sort of forgotten history. Sadly, till now. This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer. The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia. We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago.

I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess. It is clear this will be not only embarassing but I will also be reporting to my ex. I am not in a position to find another job at present. There are no other international schools so finding another job in this country is not an option. Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice. These jobs usually open for school terms so I have to stay put for few months. But more importantly, I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialize a lot.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 30.10.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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Halloween Special Questions

As a child I was afraid of my home being haunted, but as an adult, I would have to be physically attacked and have my house set on fire for me to consider moving from a property with a history of gruesome deaths among its previous homeowners, even if it is a good deal. I'm not sure what I would do in this situation. Would you consider buying a property with this history?

I live in an apartment with another family member and we have been experiencing strange noises and occurrences since moving in about a year ago. In July, my family member saw a man in the kitchen and reported hearing laughter and humming at odd hours of the night. I had my own experience of seeing a figure in the kitchen in mid-August. A few nights ago, I heard strange music like a wind-up music box playing from 2am until I fell asleep. Last night, we both heard a girl's voice saying "Are they dead?" and my cat was looking in the direction of the voice. We are both very spooked and do not know what to make of these experiences.

When I was in elementary school, I shared a bed with my sister and our dog. One night, I woke up and saw a dark figure standing at the foot of the bed. The figure had no eyes or face and was entirely in black. I tried to wake my sister up but she went back to sleep. The dog woke up and started growling at the figure, which woke my sister up and she saw it too. We are convinced that we saw a ghost or demon and our dog saw it as well.

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

I have seen hundreds of tall, humanoid creatures with blacked out eyes and jerky movements in the woods in rural areas around Memphis starting around 2020. 

The first time I saw them, I was visiting a veteran friend who was living in a camper at the edge of the woods. There were 50 or more of these creatures in a field and at the edge of the tree line. 

They appeared to be solid white with solid black eye sockets and moved in a jerky but very slow manner. When I approached them, they looked at me with their empty black eye sockets and I felt more fear than I ever have before.

I have since tried to catch them and failed because they disappear when I get within 5-10 yards and lose direct eye contact for a moment.

They do not appear on video but can be heard and are seen by animals. Only about half of the people I have shown them to have seen them. They are different sizes and group up in "family clusters" of 4 to 5. I have searched the internet and found some similar creatures but nothing that matches them exactly.

I am wondering if anyone else has seen these creatures or has any ideas about what they could be.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 20.10.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

Our grandboss is, let’s say, frosty. An elegant, always in glorious suits, not-a-hair-out-of-place Anna Wintour type. Renton is a younger (30ish) lad-type. He’s well known to sneak out for an extra long lunch at the pub to catch mid-week footie and come back after having a couple of pints, etc.

My coworker and I were in the kitchen eating when my coworker made a particularly vehement point and lost grip of her sandwich. The sandwich flew through the air and smacked our boss, FrostyBoss, on the bum.

FrostyBoss, who was standing next to a younger coworker named Renton, turned and gave Renton a deathly stare, before stalking away. FrostyBoss did not see the sandwich and believed Renton had patted her familiarly.

My coworker and I were in shock and did not speak up. Now there is a rumor that someone threw a sandwich at Renton to keep him from touching FrostyBoss because he was drunk. Renton has been gone for two days, the same length of time as the mandatory sexual harassment training module.

We need to fix the situation and have been trying to come up with a script to do so, but have been unsuccessful due to the holiday break. To make matters even worse, my coworker loves vinaigrette and mayonnaise on her sandwiches, so we also SHOULD have offered to have the skirt cleaned, because there was a definite splotch. Script to note that, too, might be rather nice.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 13.10.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

I have been living in my apartment for about 1 year and the downstairs neighbor moved in about 1 month ago. Ever since she moved in, she made 3 noise complaints against me already. While I understand her struggle, I really don't think it is me. I am not sure how to convince her that I am not making those loud noises.

Her complaints are heavy footsteps and constant sound of something falling/striking the floor. She said she woke up multiple times in the middle of the night because of something striking the floor even with ear plugs.

Walls are thin in the building, and I also hear footsteps all the time, so I think 'heavy footsteps' is possible.. But I am certainly not dropping something at 2 am-3am in the morning every week because I am also sleeping during the time frame.

My lifestyle hasnt changed, and previous downstair neighbor or anyone has ever made noise complaint for the past year. Also, I have never heard any loud noise during 2am-3am time frame. If it is indeed from me, it would be much louder in my unit and certainly wake me up if it is waking up someone with earplugs downstairs.

Now that the management is involved and they are not even hearing my side. I am not sure what to do. Is breaking the contract and moving the only way?

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 06.10.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

I’m so confused and need help on what to do and if what occurred can be dealt with legally?…

I got a “courtesy” call today from an associate from my car dealership saying they received a letter from my mother saying that I “could not afford the car payments to my car” and he wanted to know if there was anything he can do to help as in bringing my car in and trading it in for a cheaper one or returning it. I told him “my mother doesn’t even know where I bought my car from, much less how to send a letter to a company.”

I didn’t believe she sent one right off the bat and was concerned as to who sent that letter and why. So I add in “can I see proof of that letter through email or text?” And he replies with “no ma’am I cannot since I’ve already shredded it”

“excuse me? You’ve shredded the letter?”

“Yes ma’am”

“without contacting me first?”

“Listen ma’am I was just giving you a courtesy call because I read from the letter your mother sent you saying you couldn’t afford the car anymore.”

“Yes but I’ve already said it wasn’t from her, you’ve shredded the only proof there was, aren’t you even a little concerned as to who sent that letter with my information claiming to be my mother about my vehicle?”

“No ma’am” at this point I was furious and confused and not just at the situation but at his rude and condescending tone he had with me as if im being irrational and dramatic over this. He then proceeded to hang up on me when I said I would be driving down there to speak to them in person. I called the dealership 2x and got ahold of my dealerships sales manager and explained to them the situation and even he seemed confused by what was going on and said they’d speak to his manager about it and would call me back.

Regardless even the manager seemed nonchalant about the situation and made me feel as if I were over reacting but the one positive thing that came out was that he said he would speak to the associates manager and maybe receive a call back….great….

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 22.09.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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AI decided it wanted to teach us how to be a good house guest and then just hard pivoted into how to go through everyone’s shit when they’re not around.

It’s creepy and concerning… but had some good points.

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This week's feature question on The Advisory:

I am a junior analyst at a small 25 employee firm with a great reputation in our industry. When I started the job, I was told that the dress code was formal, and my coworkers initially seemed reserved.

However, on my second week of work, a coworker asked me to grab a print job from the printer tray while I was in the copy room. In response, I made a joke about the difficulty of using the copier - I replied that I would, and said I’d be out once I figured out how to make double-sided bound copies, so it might be a few years once I finally had it back to him. To clarify (because this apparently needs clarification?), this was a joke.

It was overheard by another coworker who reported it to HR. HR informed me that jokes are not allowed in the office, and my boss clarified that this policy applied to all comments, even those not related to external meetings. I am unsure how to handle the situation and am considering whether or not to continue working at the firm.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 15.09.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

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This week's feature question at The Advisory:

I work for a nonprofit and Covid has been very stressful for us. We are understaffed, overworked and underpaid, like many nonprofits. But recently our president announced something that is suppose to “bring staff together”: they got every office a turtle to keep and take care of.

A little back story: our president does not like being told no or getting any pushback from the staff. So it has created this odd environment of staff members praising her terrible ideas, while in actuality the staff is unhappy. I don’t work in the same office as the president, so the bad ideas usually don’t affect my day-to-day job. Plus I work in an amazing department with very supportive supervisors.

Even though no one will say anything, no one I have talked to is happy about the turtle. It creates more work for everyone and we’re already super busy. Also turtles carry thousands of diseases, including salmonella, and live to be 50 years old. During her announcement, the president mentioned that staff is expected to take the turtle home on weekends and holidays.

I do not want to take this turtle home. I have other pets at home, and I live with a sick mom who could potentially die if she contacted salmonella. Also, I did not sign up to be a turtle caregiver when I took this job. My direct supervisor is very supportive and also does not want to take the turtle home. But I know it’s going to be pointed out that we have not brought him home. (Our president is very big on calling staff out and putting them on the spot.) So I guess I’m asking, how do I set clear boundaries that I am not taking the turtle home without screwing over my coworkers or pissing off the president?

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 01.09.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

The Socials:

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/blkswansociety

The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.

This episode was streamed on 25.08.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety

The Socials:

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/blkswansociety