The Advisory

"Add it to the tab" has become boyfriend Steve's catchphrase of choice.

On this weeks episode of Australia’s #1 advice podcast, “sugar mumma” seeks help with a financial dilemma involving her boyfriend Steve. Despite their great fit together, Steve owes her a substantial amount of money and seems hesitant to pay her back… and his wealthy parents only complicates the situation further.

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This Weeks Feature Question:

I am a 35-year-old woman. I am eight years older than “Steve,” my boyfriend of 2-1/2 years.

Steve and I seem like a great fit together except he owes me quite a bit of money and seems hesitant to pay me back. We decided to split our shared expenses, like food, travel and rent and because I end up managing most of the details of our life, his bill is creeping higher and higher.

When he has offered to keep track of expenses, he has fumbled the ball and lost track, so it becomes my job again.

I don’t earn a lot of money, but I am very good at saving it.

I treat him to a meal out here and there, but I can’t really afford to pay for both of us all the time. Often if we are out, there will be an issue with his card, or he doesn’t have any cash, so it goes onto his “bill.” I’ve told him a few times I would like him to pay me back in a more timely manner. He will reimburse me part of what he owes me, but then months go by before he pays me again.

I don’t think I’m doing him a favor if I pay for his life. He works and does have enough to pay for his expenses.

His parents are wealthy and pay for his phone bill, car insurance, online accounts, and manage his bank account for him.

I have been on my own since my early 20s. I love him and need to find an effective way to address this issue. What can I do? I don’t want to be a nag.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok & Instagram

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 20.07.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:20 - David gets randy

01:59 - Submit your creative work for funding!

03:00 - Breaking down a viewer’s name

08:35 - David’s TOO good at doing the dishes

09:52 - Question: Boyfriend bills - where’s my money Steve?

31:55 - David’s Pokémon fetish rears its head again

34:15 - Outro

This week on The Advisory we tackle the Internet’s big 3 questions: 1 - Love, spaceships and online affairs: when pixels get in the way of the heart. 2 - Wedding drama: politics, presents and sibling showdowns. 3 - Persistent real estate agents: chocolates, presents and unwanted updates.

All this and way more on Australia’s #1 advice podcast.

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Calling all artists!

Black Swan are taking submissions to fund your creative projects! If you’re an artist, podcaster, animator, movie maker, live streamer etc - submit your project for funding here: https://bit.ly/bss-submit

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This weeks questions:

Our Feature Question:

A real estate agent helped us through numerous deals within a short 18 months, expertly, deftly and patiently. In the end, she closed a total of five local sales, all through us. Because of this, she won an award from her prestigious agency and became its No. 1 regional agent. She still texts/calls/emails often, wanting to get together for lunch, coffee, dinner, etc.

While working together, we took her out several times to thank her for her efforts, but it has been a year since we closed everything. We are maxed out, both emotionally and financially. After declining her invitations many times, I am at a loss. I avoid her calls.

This leads to her texting, which I also now ignore. When all else fails, she shows up at our house. If we are not home, she will just ring the doorbell, knowing that, because my elderly father-in-law lives with us, there will be at least one adult at home at all times. Last time she showed up with chocolates and candy, which my father-in-law ate.

I asked her not to bring more sweets, because they endanger his health, and she got mad, then announced that she would bring a “yellow cake soaked in condensed milk.” She also has been constantly updating us on our “old homes,” telling us what the buyers are now doing with the houses.

This also tells me she is constantly dropping in on these other properties. I do not want these updates, and I told her so. I have refused her invitations for a year. I have asked her not to bring sweets. I have told her that I don’t need updates.

I am now ignoring her texts and phone calls. The last time she showed up, I stayed out of sight. I could hear her asking about me at the front door. Is there anything else I could be doing? I can’t take much more of this.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 13.07.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:23 - The creative call out

04:45 - Doing our job & David’s need for characters

06:40 - Online Affairs: When pixels get in the way of the heart

25:30 - Wedding Drama: I need the present but you’re not invited

43:45 - The math behind ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’

45:38 - Our old real estate agent won’t stop showing up at our house

1:06:50 - Outro

This week’s episode of The Advisory is all about love & money. Join us as we explore the conflicts and emotions that arise when couples find themselves at odds over financial decisions that impact their lives.

Whether it’s disagreeing about how your wife spends her $30,000 inheritance, or navigating payment for babysitting your own kids while your wife is out with Walter from next door, don’t miss this rollercoaster of an episode exploring the complexities of money, relationships and the pursuit of fairness.

All this and way more on Australia’s #1 advice podcast.

Your Money, My Money, Our Money

In my long-term relationship, my girlfriend and I have conflicting opinions regarding a $30,000 inheritance she received from her great-aunt. She wants to spend a significant portion of it on her hobby, while I believe we should save most of it and use a portion for a romantic vacation. I argue that traveling would benefit both of us, and question the fairness of her entitlement to the windfall compared to my contribution to our income over the years. On the other hand, she argues that she sacrificed her hobby while raising our children and emphasizes her financial contribution toward purchasing our house. We both feel resentful and hurt, but seek guidance on finding a resolution, determining the allocation of the money, and identifying any overlooked aspects of the situation.

Getting Paid to Babysit Your Own Kids

I live with my wife and our daughter in a suburban house. Our neighbour, Walter, is a single father with two daughters. My wife and Walter share a love for scary movies and have started watching them together regularly. During their movie nights, I stay home and babysit the girls. However, I've grown tired of the constant responsibility and suggested that Walter pay me a babysitter fee. My wife strongly opposes this idea, believing that it's unfair to receive payment for babysitting our own daughter and Walter's daughters. We need to find a way to address this disagreement and help my wife understand the fairness in receiving compensation for my efforts.

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety

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00:00 - It begins

02:12 - David buys friendship like Richy Rich

04:05 - David does McDonalds, weddings and yurts

07:56 - Question: I want to spend my wife’s inheritance

18:30 - We’re not a cult

20:53 - The question gets worse somehow

40:42 - Feature: Horror film cuck and getting paid to babysit your own kids

56:20 - The key to a happy relationship

1:13:43 - What’s the worst thing you’ve done for money

1:30:45 - David’s fan fiction blue balling

1:37:05 - Outro

It’s our 1 year anniversary and we’re out of the advice game - it’s all about the consulting game baby! Advice is dead, consulting the internet is in!

This week’s episode is all about the importance of knowing what you’re signing with your eyes, never leaving a meal unattended, the struggles of renting, putting yourself on blast and stop buying the myth of modular!

All this and way more on Australia’s #1 advice podcast.

This week we revisit our questions from episode 01.

The Blindfold Games:

Since I left the hospital, my husband has been introducing me to games as a way to entertain ourselves. One of these games involves blindfolding me and engaging in activities like puzzles and Rubik's Cube. However, recently he wanted me to sign papers while blindfolded, and I refused because he wouldn't let me see what I was signing. He claimed it was just to test my signature consistency, but I couldn't shake off the discomfort. I insisted on seeing the papers before playing the game, and he dropped the subject.

Last night, he tried to convince me again, but when I asked to see the papers, he refused and said it was against the rules. This led to an argument where he accused me of being suspicious and lacking trust. Despite his support when my own family didn't visit me in the hospital, I couldn't help but feel paranoid. I regret being rude to him, but I couldn't ignore my concerns.

I entered a restaurant, dining solo. When I returned from the restroom, my table was cleared. The waitress suspected I had "dined and dashed." I clarified and asked for my food to be remade, but it was already discarded. The waitress insisted I pay the bill, but I requested to speak with the manager. After an arduous back and forth in an attempt to find a solution, the manager offered a $5 alternative and cancelled the original order. I paid $5, tipped the waitress 15%, and appreciated the manager's involvement.

00:00 - It begins

00:10 - We love the new, we love the old

03:15 - The infamous microphone trial

08:19 - The cardinal sin of online entertainment

10:13 - Question: My husband keeps trying to make me sign something while blind folded

22:45 - David wants us to WHAT!?

25:40 - The Consultory is born, a brand new podcast

37:48 - Question: Travis does a 10min toilet run and gets his meal swiped by the waitress

46:59 - A furniture rant? Who even knows at this point

48:40 - James’ roof fell off

54:20 - David’s gets Viagra and his doctor doesn’t remember him

1:00:58 - Back to helping Travis

1:20:13 - Our most seminal pieces of advice

1:27:30 - The Outro

This week’s episode of The Advisory is all about our lovely neighbours. Those strange people that live above, below and all around us. Some people like to bring a randy energy to their home like David’s naked neighbour doing balcony dances, or the window wanker of Newstead.

Then there are other people who like to befriend their neighbours only to straight up ghost them, and some neighbours… stalk you from above.

All this and way more on Australia’s #1 advice podcast.

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This weeks feature advice seeker asks:

Should I just let go of her? And let her be?

Here’s some background: * My neighbor (55F) and I (25F) got really close at one point. I would show up to her house almost everyday and she would make food for me. She would take me to my doctors appointments, even the last minute ER visits. She was always there when I needed her. She became the mom I never had. This occurred in a span of a few months.

Here’s where it suddenly got weird: But then suddenly, she disappeared on me for a month or two. I thought maybe I was being too much (you know depending on her so much. She gave me so much and I gave so little). So when I finally got a hold of her again, she just said her life got really shit and needed some space and didn’t want to burden me until it’s at least partially resolved. But the thing is… from the way she described it, things weren’t as bad as she said it was. It just seemed like the other hassles she’s been dealing with from the past. Still, I gave her benefit of the doubt and was hoping we could continue whatever we had. But then… she disappeared again. This time maybe forever. Her phone is no longer is in service…

What do I even do? Should I continue trying to reach her? Do I leave her alone? Did I really fuck up by taking too much from her (I asked her if I did anything wrong but she said no.) or is she just really going through some crap. Her disappearance just leaves me feel so crappy.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠[email protected]⁠ or shoot us a DM on:

⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 08.06.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:24 - David’s nude neighbour

07:15 - Newstead window wanker

11:00 - Fighting back against the nude neighbour

27:15 - Question: My ex-neighbour wants to use my address for deliveries & applications

32:09 - Stalked by the people upstairs

33:14 - The Balcony Banshee vs the townspeople

48:01 - Feature: My disappearing neighbour

53:58 - One sided friendships (Holding someone else’s candle in the wind)

57:33 - Cutting people out of your life in 2023

1:03:38 - Your Myspace top 5 IRL

1:05:50 - David’s favourite passage

1:07:30 - Getting mind freaked

1:10:50 - Outro

Join us as we delve deep into the intricate world of human connections and explore the definitive 5 types of flirtation.

Then, picture this: a speeding driver caught in a reckless moment, attempting to evade the consequences of their actions by assuming a false identity… except that false identity is their sister.

Then we help a special question asker navigate a strange swim fan-like relationship with their daughter’s ex-teacher.

All this and more on episode 43 of The Advisory exploring the consequences of misguided decisions and the quest for redemption.

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This weeks feature advice seeker asks:

While driving, I was caught speeding by a police officer. Being a frequent offender, I panicked as I had outstanding warrants for previous violations. To avoid being arrested, I gave the officer false identification, using my sister's name and details since we resemble each other. The officer issued me tickets and let me go.

However, months later, my sister discovered the warrants when she went to appeal the citations and found a body camera photo of me. Feeling betrayed, she decided to press charges against me for identity theft and fraud. I apologized and promised to pay off the tickets, explaining the stressful situation I was in during finals. Nevertheless, my sister proceeded with the charges, and now I am facing court dates for two felonies.

I acknowledge my mistake and understand the severity of the charges, but I believe my sister's decision to press charges is excessive. It will not only harm my future but also strain our family relationships. As the first person in my family to attend college, these charges could ruin everything I have worked for. I feel that my sister may have taken the situation too far, although her anger and disappointment are justified. Currently, my parents and brother are not speaking to her unless she drops the charges.

I desperately need advice on how to convince my sister to reconsider her decision, as I believe the punishment does not align with the crime committed.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or shoot us a DM on:

⁠⁠⁠TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 01.06.23.

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00:00 - It begins

01:24 - Bezos v Musk Intergalactic Dominance

03:17 - The 5 Types of Flirting (What is your sex chat?)

06:07 - Style 1: Playful

07:02 - Style 2: Traditional

07:16 - David gives us ‘The Eye’

09:27 - Style 3: Polite

12:02 - Style 4: Physical

15:12 - Style 5: Sincere

22:20 - Naming the audience: The Shanes

28:55 - Feature: Stealing your sister’s identity

50:50 - David hates true crime

57:04 - Question: My daughter’s teacher got fired and is trying to be my friend

1:03:55 - David’s 3 tiered crisis

1:11:35 - Why you need to be direct with your feedback

1:21:40 - Outro

Imagine saving a co-worker's life, only to have your heroic act turn into a nuisance. Picture your boss setting Google Alerts for your name, tracking your every move in the public eye. Envision a colleague bouncing away on a treadmill during a Zoom meeting with the company VP.

In this episode, we take you on a rollercoaster ride through three gripping tales from the trenches of the office world. First up, we grapple with the intrusive world of Google Alerts. Is it a well-intentioned move to build rapport, or an unnerving invasion of privacy? Next, we’ll explore the rising trend of Zoom meetings from treadmills. Is it a harmless attempt to stay active, or an unprofessional distraction that's grinding our gears?

The climax of our journey? An extraordinary act of life-saving heroism - CPR in the middle of the office. What happens when the person you save isn’t necessarily someone you like, and their gratitude starts to feel like a noose around your neck?

Join us for episode 42 of The Advisory and let us be your guide to navigating the wild waters of modern work life.

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This week's feature advice seeker asks:

My team manager has set up Google Alerts for every one on her team, so that she receives notifications whenever our names appear in the news. She uses the alerts to then post messages on our team’s internal group chat, things like “Break a leg to Jorge, whose improv team has a show coming up in Milwaukee!” or “Congrats to Linda for being selected as a finalist in this local baking competition.”

There’s a complicating factor in that our team’s work is somewhat in the public eye in our industry, meaning there’s a high likelihood one of us is in the news at any given time for something we’ve worked on, driven by our company’s PR. So to some degree, it makes sense she’d want to keep track of your team’s professional, PR related accomplishments — we have whole channels and boards internally, dedicated to highlighting those kinds of items. That said, our PR team does a roundup of our news items, so she could keep track of those without needing to set up her own alerts. Or she could ask us to share them with her!

The announcement posts she’s doing about our personal lives are relatively benign, and I’m pretty sure she asks the individual if she can share, before posting. I suspect she’s thinking of this as a way of building rapport, and helping us bring our “whole selves” to work. But something about using Google to track our personal accomplishments feels…squicky to me. Artificial? Like its being used as a shortcut to building a warm relationship with us. I know she could just Google any of us at any time but what if I was in the news because I was in a terrible accident? What if I got a divorce, or a relative died, or what if I was, say, arrested for protesting in alignment with my political views? I’m not sure I want her to be notified of incidents that might not be things I’d choose to share.

I guess my question is: is this weird? Or is it something we should all just accept in today’s digital world? And if I wanted to ask her to remove the alert for my name, do you have suggestions for scripting I could use?

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or shoot us a DM on:

⁠⁠⁠TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 18.05.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:19 - David accidentally becomes a retail worker

12:00 - Always read the fine print

13:58 - Send us your advice or your solutions

16:45 - Australia’s Favourite Shapes Flavour

20:08 - Question: Is it unprofessional to take a Zoom call from a treadmill?

27:26 - David keeps us after lunch

31:20 - Question: I accidentally saved my colleagues life but I secretly hate them

58:38 - Feature: My manager is stalking us online with Google Alerts

1:20:03 - Another secret voice mail

1:21:50 - Outro

On episode 41 of the Internet's favourite 2 person Australian comedy advice show called The Advisory... nailed it, we turn up the heat in a beginner's cooking class where the sous chef... well, can't cook.

Our feature advice seeker takes it upon himself to regain control of the kitchen and serve up a slice of sass when the person who can't cook is put in charge of the main course. Will you trust her with your tastebuds? Or raise a spatula in rebellion?

But what if you just got done recovering from a stomach bug that turned your favourite meal into a trigger for nausea. Your significant other, despite your explicit no-burger plea, grills up some juicy patties. Do you stomach the meal... or have kick off some relationship beef? Spoilers! He goes for the beef!

And just when you thought you were home safe... the phone rings. A listener calls in to 'redpill' us on some Arnott's Shapes facts!

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This week's feature advice seeker asks:

AITA for telling members of my cooking class not to eat bad food?

I'm a 46M taking a beginner's cooking class. Most students cook occasionally, but one young woman has virtually no experience. On day one, she struggled with basic tasks like maintaining the right heat for her soup and I helped, though she seemed standoffish.

During the next class, she was distracted while melting chocolate, another basic task. I intervened, turning down her burner and explaining the importance of attentiveness. She was again dismissive.

In our third class, she was put in charge of the entrée. Given her lack of experience, I was worried about the safety and quality of her dish. I tried to subtly express my concerns and offer help.

When asked to reflect on the class, I commented, "don't trust someone who can't boil soup to bake a salmon." Though it upset her and some others thought I should be more open, I maintain my concern about the potential health risks of her cooking.

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or shoot us a DM on:

⁠⁠⁠TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 11.05.23.

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00:00 - It begins

01:50 - A listener calls the show to finally settle the Shapes debate

21:20 - Feature: AITA - Cooking Class Disaster

29:24 - David criticises the criticism

44:21 - Question: I said no burgers!

56:35 - Our final thoughts

1:00:30 - Outro

Should I bail on a wedding vacation to Greece to see the Stanley Cup Finals with the boys? I hope someone creates an in-depth PowerPoint presentation to help find a solution to that one. And what are you supposed to do when your daughter's code is so bad that it's embarrassing?

All this and slightly more on this week's episode of The Advisory brought to you buy our new sponsor and tour announcement - CHASE THE TASTE! #TasteChasers.

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This week's feature advice seeker asks:

I (36M) am a web developer for many years now and have a lot of experience.

About a year ago my daughter (9F) suddenly decided she wanted to learn coding. She asked me to teach her. I declined and explained that it is complex and I don't have the time and would burn out from doing that after work as it is tough but that she was free to learn on her own.

We have a white list of sites she can access on her laptop so we were not afraid of her searching the web.

She did teach herself some C++ which is not a language I have used in years and is a bit outdated and not the simplest to pick up.

It's been a year and she calls herself "princess programmer" and it is a little cringy and she likes to wear a nice dress or skirt while working on some simple games she makes.

Recently she overheard one of my work meetings and learned what code reviews are and asked me to do one on her newest game while claiming that "princess programmer" wrote it very well and expects it to be very good.

I noticed many issues like bad variable naming conventions, code duplication, using if condition,return instead of just returning the condition.

I told her the quality sucked compared to anything that could be production code and that it would be easier to rewrite than fix it. I told her if she wanted to learn more she could rewrite it with my advice and that programming is serious and not a game and she should stop with the outfits and princess programmer stuff and maybe try an easier language than C++.

She cried and threw a tantrum and is upset at me and says I was too mean. And my wife is now also upset at me and says I should have lied and said her work was good and told her how to make it better. My wife did do coding in college but she doesn't do much of it in her job these days.

AITA here?

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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or shoot us a DM on:

⁠⁠⁠TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 04.05.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:18 - The Twisties Saga Continues

02:43 - Dusty Endorsements: Our New Title Sponsor

05:30 - Question: Should I Bail a Wedding Vacation for The Stanley Cup

09:32 - The Power Point Presentation: Friendships Are Vital

17:13 - Ladies & Gentleman of the Court

20:03 - A Live Viewer Question: Which Celeb Needs a Laugh

22:55 - The Birthday Boys

25:23 - David Gets Indulgent (And Has A Potato Guy?)

31:00 - Feature: My Daughter's Code Embarrasses Me

41:59 - The Silver Screen Solution

44:30 - The Webisode Solution

47:25 - The Web Comic Solution

51:20 - The Outro

53:54 - Our Parting Thoughts

This week we test the very limits of our friendship by talking about the most contentious subject there is: What's your favourite flavour Arnott’s Shape?

We also accidentally uncover the corruption of the Pro Canine agenda when a study reveals that putting pets in your dating profile gets more likes.

That’s the entire episode... we don’t even get to the advice portion of our advice show. It’s a good one. The vibes are good. The bits are funny. The facial hair is red.

00:17 – David encounters Twisties salt

06:15 – What even are Arnott's Shapes?

10:36 – Arnott’s Shapes doubles down on the dust with shakeable sachets

13:45 - What’s your favourite Shapes flavour?

31:12 – The Arnott’s Army Secret Online Community

37:56 – Why people are putting pets in their dating profiles

1:01:20 – Question: What would constitute your perfect day

1:06:17 – The outro

1:09:00 – Christopher Walken stops by to leave a review

1:12:00 – A Charles Dickens villain signs us off