The Advisory

From an unexpected encounter with your high school crush that lead to you confessing the dream life you once envisioned together (including the names of your future children), to your husband still clinging onto "Mommy & Daddy".

Join us on this week's episode of Australia's #1 advice podcast and navigate the labyrinth that is our chaotic relationships - romantic, roommates and the unrequited.

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Questions:

- My husband calls his parents Mommy and Daddy

- My roommate keeps putting mice in the fridge

- I told my old high school crush about my fantasy life with her

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 28.09.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:18 - Friday Night Fright Fest

00:35 - Feature Question: Confessing my fantasy life to my old high school crush

17:25 - Defending yourself in court

21:53 - Question: My husband keeps calling his parents Mommy & Daddy

37:40 - David's biking encounter

46:05 - Question: Roommate won't stop putting mice in the fridge

54:40 - David gets shit on by a snake

1:05:25 - Outro

We kick off with some real life dog-napping advice for David, get rowdy with curses, then tackle society's two greatest questions: why does my neighbour think I'm a trading post and why is my BF jealous of my salary?

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 21.09.23.

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02:55 - David needs YOUR help

04:12 - The dog barks all the time

13:01 - Cut to INT. D-MAC'S APARTMENT, Saturday night

21:14 - The police arrive on scene

30:30 - Out alpha the alpha and let us know

34:50 - Haunt him straight out of his house

44:20 - Question: My neighbour thinks I'm a trading post?

55:07 - Question: My BF is jealous of my salary

1:03:29 - The boys get real about relationships

1:09:16 - Follow us on socials!

1:11:26 - Behind the curtain with us

If you've ever needed to stop someone calling you daddy, steal ashes or punish a cake thief, we've got your covered this week. James has the goods when it comes to better names than daddy, David wants to do a bit with ashes.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 14.09.23.

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01:15 - Question: call me daddy please?

09:51 - Daddy alternative brainstorming session

16:00 - Non-bedroom daddy substitution

23:06 - Question: my mum wants to steal her ex-lover's ashes

27:00 - Take the ashes and do a bit with it

28:00 - "They're in a better place now" explained

30:14 - Feature Question: the ruined party and the cake thief

40:55 - How to tell lies and get away with it

45:00 - The revenge party technique

56:20 - When is it okay to steal

59:15 - Follow us on the socials!

This week it's all about faking it til' you're making it. Master the art of pretending you're not fully lactose intolerant to handle those work-place dairy situations like a pro. What happens when your cool friend stops being cool? And for the love of god run, hide and lock your doors because David's doing his once-a-year relaxation purge.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok | Instagram

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 07.09.23.

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00:00 - It begins

00:28 - Are Davids the new Karens?

08:07 - Our Dating Profile Update Service has been stolen

13:02 - Question: How to make it look like you aren't lactose intolerant

23:00 - Feature Question: My friend used to be cool

34:08 - How to be cool

55:38 - David schedules his relaxation in the calendar

1:07:23 - Outro

1:08:42 - Christopher Walken swings by the show

This week David brings the unhinged energy of a man on no sleep who's lead a strange life focused on things no one else cares about. James approahces with a more grounded approach to his insantiy. We stop in for a brief dating profile update, and then cleanse our dating pallet by covering stories about crazy people doing crazy things. If you really think about it, aren't we all a little crazy?

This week we put on our advice gloves and start loading advice into the back of your truck because you paid for premium delivery. We wouldn't normally, but you're a loyal customer. Sorry, what? Oh, yeah, I can tell you what it's about. People feel this need to perform everything online and apparently science thinks it's bad. The advice is mostly about that: people sharing the most intimate, strange things online and the real world consequences.

Yeah, me and you buddy, I'm equally shocked the internet has consequences who knew?

01:54 - Little David ruins the show

09:50 - Question: Broadcasting commitment issues

15:56 - Sharing everything is... good?

22:08 - Question: My mum overshares MY life

32:42 - Question: My husband is famous online

38:11 - What if... we did murder?

43:02 - James is a snitch

46:38 - Question: I can't stop oversharing

1:02:26 - Outro

As we wrap up the month of dating advice and David’s dating profile re-make, we take one last look at some relationship troubles and sprinkle a little Australian advice on some not so typical relationship problems.

This episode we take our final bite out of the Hinge pie. James and the audience continue the uphill battle to make David's dating profile digestable. We learn about David's ex, reflect on the insane popularity of this new profile, and begin to worry if we aren't flying too close to the sun.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

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Calling all artists!

Black Swan are taking submissions to fund your creative projects! If you’re an artist, podcaster, animator, movie maker, live streamer etc - submit your project for funding here: ⁠https://bit.ly/bss-submit

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 10.08.23.

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3:00 - What would David's ex say about him

16:20 - Big walk, big learn, big book16:45 - Statistics check-in

18:28 - The boys get blacked out

21:56 - Checking in on the Hinge matches

31:21 - The shortest protest of all time

37:01 - Changing the prompt

41:35 - If loving this is wrong...

48:47 - The dorkiest thing about me is...

55:02 - The flawed prompt process

59:37 - Green flags I look for

1:00:13 - How to format lists

1:06:31 - The pictures are still dire

1:10:33 - The final prompt

1:17:05 - Try to gues this about me...

1:23:23 - The final review

1:31:01 - Gooch friendly outro

This week we plunge headfirst into David's dating profile and with the audience's help, we start to fix it and get lost in the sauce. Leading to questions like what is slutty David, why do his favourite activities sound so much like American Psycho? And what the heck is going on with these prompts.

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠

—

Calling all artists!

Black Swan are taking submissions to fund your creative projects! If you’re an artist, podcaster, animator, movie maker, live streamer etc - submit your project for funding here: ⁠https://bit.ly/bss-submit

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 03.08.23.

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02:08 - David did in-person research

06:24 - The game plan

09:50 - The profile review begins

19:29 - Initial summary of existing profile

21:59 - This is now an intervention

28:23 - All of these prompts are barbage

32:05 - The picture inventory is dire

40:57 - James tries to start an OnlyFans

43:54 - Slutty David

48:44 - Clean David is starting to upset everyone

50:19 - The ideal day is an impossible challenge

56:11 - Detective David returns

58:00 - Why doesn't David do anything on his weekends

1:01:40 - Insects are a rational fear

1:08:40 - My self-care routine is...

1:15:44 - We stand by the em dash

1:16:43 - Future planning

1:18:55 - Outro

This week we dive deep into the realm of dating in 2023 and sift through the dirty details of Tinder. Like why do people really use Tinder… and why are so many of them in relationships? And what are the stand out profile details and topics that get you to the top of the inbox?

Join us on Australia’s #1 advice podcast as we uncover the juicy secrets behind Tinder users, and with a bit of time left over we help John figure out how to navigate his daughter dating his ex.

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This Weeks Feature Question:

So I (40M) have a daughter (21F) who started dating her partner (30F) about a month ago. She called me to tell me about this new encounter when they went on her first date. Her mother has not been in the picture since she was an infant, so me and my daughter are very close, and now that she is am adult, I can proudly say we have a great bond. She has always been hard working and after graduating high school, she decided to start working before choosing a college. About 6 months ago she moved out on her own.

About a year ago I met this woman in a bar, we had a few drinks and we ended up at her place. Things went well and after a few dates I decided to lay down what I wanted in a relationship. We discussed it and she wanted to have a kid, but I already had the pleasure of raising my daughter, and was unwilling to do it again. So we decided to break it off. I never told my daughter because it wasn't anything serious. Well, a month ago I got a call from my daughter telling me she went on an amazing date with a woman who she instantly connected with. I was happy for her, and wished her the best with future encounters. Well, after a few weeks and several dates, they decided to make it official. So my daughter changed her relationship status on FB and posted a picture of her and my ex. The wave of shock that rushed over me was to say the least, paralysing. I didn't know what to do so I called my daughter and invited her over alone to talk.

Well, we sat down on the couch and I explained everything. As you would expect, she did not take it well at all. Especially because she and my ex planned on inviting me to a meal later in the week which would have been horribly awkward. My daughter left shortly after and apparently talked to her GF. Once my daughter showed my ex a picture of me, apparently she knew right away and expectedly, they ended the relationship. Now my daughter is a lot more distant from me and I assume it's because she needs the space, but how are we supposed to go back to normal after this? I doubt my daughter will look at me the same considering we could barley maintain eye contact after I broke the news to her.

How do we move past this and repair our relationship?

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If you have a question, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ or shoot us a DM on the socials: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok | Instagram

—

Calling all artists!

Black Swan are taking submissions to fund your creative projects! If you’re an artist, podcaster, animator, movie maker, live streamer etc - submit your project for funding here: ⁠https://bit.ly/bss-submit

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This episode was streamed live on Twitch and YouTube on 27.07.23.

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00:00 - It begins

03:15 - The Tinder break down

05:33 - Tinder subscription

07:55 - David’s specific pricing knowledge

11:33 - Tinder income breakdown

12:45 - Relationship status of Tinder users

17:08 - 30% of Tinder users are married

19:53 - The people demand David’s dating profiles get a makeover

22:15 - Why do people use Tinder?

30:25 - Common interests for Tinder user

34:02 - Why you need an About Me

43:06 - Question: My Daughter is Dating My Ex

53:25 - The Mike Whitney saga begins

1:00:16 - Outro