Here’s your moment of mindfulness — right up top — so you can find it easily!
Hello and welcome back to the Aligned Actor PodTubeStack.
That's what I'm now calling this because I think it's fun, I like combining words, and nobody can stop me.
Just as a reminder, I'm Amy Schloerb. I'm a mindfulness and mindset coach helping actors ride the rollercoaster of being an actor without throwing up — instead, gracefully moving with all those twists and turns and ups and downs and all of that stuff — so that we can have more satisfying, more fulfilling, calmer, more stable lives in general.
This is part two of A Letter to Young Actor Amy: Find Your Actor Friends.
Let’s dive in and see what I wrote to myself back in the day…
Having some actor pals is really, really helpful when you’re starting out. These people are gonna “get you” - they’re gonna be cool if you make plans and then have to cancel because an audition comes up. They are gonna be people you can share information and resources with (headshot photographers, classes, agents, workshops). They also will understand stuff about your career that your family and non-actor friends just never will.
So, for example, let’s say that you keep getting called into audition for the same casting director a dozen times, but you keep not booking. Your family might think, “what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you convert?” BUT your actor friends are gonna know that you’re really good, this casting director obviously is a HUGE fan of your work, and for whatever reason, the right role just hasn’t come up for you yet.
So, your actor pals are gonna be able to help you stay smart and optimistic about your career and your craft, where as your family might have you spiraling down, and questioning yourself — “Maybe I really suck, maybe they’re just bringing me in to make the other actors look better, maybe I need to change my look or my skills or whatever…” — when the truth is, you just need to take a breath, acknowledge that, yeah, it’s frustrating to not book, but ultimately celebrate the fact that you’ve made a pretty big fan in the industry (in this casting director) and you’re certainly on a successful journey as a professional actor (just a little callback there).
Where do you find actor friends? I found mine in an improv community and acting classes. If you’re coming out of a college or conservatory program, maybe see if there are alumni living in your market. When I was first starting out, Facebook wasn’t public yet, but now there are all kinds of groups there and you can follow casting directors and class studios and see what looks good to you. But seriously, get in a class, which is actually my next piece of advice…
But you will have to wait for that advice because first we have to talk about this advice…
This is absolutely all still true. Good actor friends are the best.
There is nothing like a group of good actor friends who understand you, who know what it's like, who can commiserate with you when things are not going so well and who can celebrate with you when things are going really, really well.
Actor friends are amazing and you need actor friends in your life.
You can still find these folks in classes, workshops, search the hashtag #SelfTapeMay to follow them on social media, you can find them in film festivals, improv shows, and sketch shows. They're out there. They're waiting for you. You need them and they need you, so find your people.
For humans in general, having social support is a huge help in terms of handling stress, which all humans deal with, and actors are humans too — newsflash!
Actors also deal with a unique form of stress that only other actors really understand:
Rejection…performance anxiety…last minute memorizing and audition prep when you're already exhausted from your day job and other stuff you have going on in life…battling traffic to get to that callback…pressure from your family like, "Well, when are you going to be on my TV next? When are you going to make it?"
The list is just endless, right? #IYKYK
There's a lot of stress when it comes to being an actor.
Your actor friends are gonna help you with that stress, and having really strong social support from peers and colleagues who get you and understand the realities of being an actor is really, really important.
You want actor friends who understand the nuance of being pinned, or on hold, or on avail, but then being released, which BOTH absolutely sucks AND is such a great sign that you are doing absolutely the right thing, and you're a fantastic actor.
But it still really sucks and it hurts like hell, and NOBODY really gets that particular, nuanced, “both/and” situation better than your actor friends.
You want actor friends who are excited to read with you for self-tapes, maybe even last minute or really late at night because that's the only time you have to get that done. You want to like working with them, feel safe working with them, and feel like you can play when you work with them, so you can put your best performance out there.
And most importantly, you want actor friends in your life who see you as a working actor and who can continually affirm that identity for you — not because you're always on TV or in films — but because you are engaged in any number of various actor actions that are the real work of being an actor.
You're in classes…you're doing workshops…you're auditioning…you're submitting yourself for things…you're in the union or you're working on getting in the union…you have headshots and you keep them updated…you're on casting sites…you're creating your own content and putting it out there for the world to see your work…you're doing Self-Tape May…and so on and so forth…
All the stuff that we do as actors that we as insiders of this occupation, profession, and career recognize as engaging in an acting career.
Because it is so easy to let your mindset slip into outsider thinking:
"Oh, well, real actors are those people that we see on TV and in movies and at award shows, and people who can pay all their bills from just their acting jobs, and everyone else is just sort of aspiring actors or wannabe actors trying to do the actor thing."
That's a mindset that you can choose to have. That's a belief system that you can subscribe to, but I do not recommend it at all.
So many of our loved ones, or even just random people that you meet, hold that outsider view and they will unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) say things that will chip away at your actor identity and make you feel really bad about yourself and bad about your career, if you let them.
One of the best things that really good actor friends can do for each other is to continually support and affirm each other in our occupational identity, because the outsiders never will and they have no idea how to anyway.
They have on their outsider glasses and those glasses are really contagious and they can really mess with an actor mindset.
My dream, my absolute, ideal world dream (aside from we fix climate change, there's world peace, and everybody's happy) my dream for actors is that every single actor ditches those outsider glasses forever and puts on insider glasses, so that we all see that what makes us actors — working actors, professional actors, whatever term lights you up the most — is the job aspects, not the results aspects.
It's auditions, not bookings.
It's classes, not red carpets.
It's passion and engagement, not "Well, what have I seen you in lately?"
It's journey, not destination. (Just another little callback there to our previous letter to young actor Amy)
If we can all adopt this mindset, this insider perspective, then all actors will become so secure in their actor identity that there's literally nothing that an outsider could say that would rattle us.
It would be like water off a duck's back — "Oh, they don't get it. I don't care, moving on."
That's my dream.
In the meantime, I think we can do this one by one, and let it ripple out in the pond.
Find your actor friends who will help you maintain this insider mindset. Share this content with your actor friends who you see very easily sort of falling into that outsider thinking.
Those friends are going to help you with that, and you can all support each other in maintaining that insider — "I'm an actor!" — thinking.
And if you want help strengthening your insider mindset — that self-concept that says, "I'm a full-time working actor, always." Full stop. End of sentence. — I want to help you.
Let’s chat! ☕️
If you’re ready to transform your actor mindset, let’s connect in a complimentary session.
Rest assured, this is not a “sales call.” I’m not Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. In my world ABC means “Always Be Celebrating!” 🥳
This is a chance for us to chat and connect and for you to walk away with some specific, actionable ideas that you can start applying right away to shift and strengthen your actor mindset.
Think of it like an audition where you are the production team. I’ll show you what I do in the role of “coach” by actually coaching you, and then you get to decide, “Does my production need a mindset coach right now, and is Amy right for this role?”
Sounds fun, right?
Get my Pre-Audition Focusing Meditation 🎧
I’ve created a free meditation to help you get out of your head and into your character so that you can rock your next audition.
It’s going to help you let go of any nerves or thoughts of “what do they want?” and focus in on what your character wants, what’s going on in the scene, and that’s going to help you present your best work every time.
Super Stressed? I got you! 💖
Accessing Calm is my ebook of super simple, fun mindfulness life hacks I use every day to calm down quickly when stress is high.
These are the tools that help me release tension from my body and keep my mind from spinning out of control with worry and frustration. 😭 ➡️ ☺️
They help me get through the morning rush, calm down before a big audition, and deal with all the stress of the world in general.
It’s a quick read that includes video demonstrations of all tools and some bonus mindfulness meditations — all for just $7!
Upcoming Workshops
I’m hosting online mindfulness workshops in October and November exclusively for members of the SAG-AFTRA LA Conservatory!
Mindfulness 101: Empower Your Craft and Your Career With Your Presence
Come learn about mindfulness and the many advantages it offers performers. Experience a guided mindfulness meditation, explore the benefits of developing a daily mindfulness practice, and learn some quick centering tools to use in auditions and on set.
If you are a member of the SAG-AFTRA LA Conservatory, head to the calendar on the website to sign up. If you’re not a member, I encourage you to join, it’s $45 for a full year of workshops and classes.
Get full access to The Aligned Actor at thealignedactor.substack.com/subscribe
