The Art Of Imperfect Adulting

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Belinda Coker about reinventing life through adventure and self-discovery, focusing on solo multi-day hiking as a transformative tool. Belinda splits her time between Australia, New Zealand, and Scotland. In this conversation she shares a change she made starting in her mid-50s that resulted in challenges, unexpected joys, and a profound sense of self-worth. About Belinda Coker:

Belinda Coker is an Australian hiker and educator who shows women how practical adventure can restore confidence and clarity in midlife. After years of building businesses and raising three children on her own, she began hiking to find space and perspective, a journey that took her from the deserts of Australia to a solo crossing of Greenland inside the Arctic Circle. Belinda is also the founder of Soul Treader and The House Sitting Collective, where she teaches a structured, professional approach to trusted, responsible travel.

Main Topics Covered:

1. How to return to adventurous pursuits during midlife, even after decades away from the trail.
2. Practical steps for women to build confidence, safety, and skills for solo travel and multi-day hiking.
3. The emotional and physical transformation that comes from embracing new challenges after 50.
4. Why Belinda swapped business travel for wilderness hikes—and how she found healing in nature.
5. Navigating setbacks, unpredictable weather, and safety emergencies on remote trails.
6. The role of community and how to surround yourself with the right support when starting something new.
7. Early retirement and minimalist travel: making adventure possible on a budget through house sitting and frugal living.
8. The mindset shift from “just a housewife” to self-affirmed adventurer and educator.

Quote from the Episode:

“I just felt that I really was someone to myself...I just really felt like I’d done something for myself, and that really was just so, so important. I can’t stress how good that made me feel.”—Belinda Coker

Timestamps: [00:00:06] Amy welcomes Belinda and discusses where she calls home and her ties to New Zealand, Australia, and Scotland

[00:01:42] Initial impressions of Scotland and the allure of wilderness versus developed environments

[00:03:05] Belinda’s three stages of solo travel: from youthful adventures to international business trips and a post-pandemic return to hiking

[00:06:05] The moment of self-realization at 55 and how the pandemic fueled her return to the outdoors

[00:09:05] Starting over with day hikes, joining a local meetup group, and rediscovering health and confidence

[00:12:27] First foray into overnight hiking, overcoming obstacles, and the liberating experience of her seven-day solo hike

[00:17:00] How friends and family reacted to her decision and the importance of choosing supportive confidants

[00:20:03] Lessons learned on the first multi-day hike: food, safety, preparation, and the realities of trail life

[00:28:25] Pursuing skills to level up: Wilderness first aid, writing educational resources, and the dangers of unprepared hiking

[00:29:43] Most recent hiking setback in the Canary Islands: managing gear failure, dangerous weather, and emergency decision-making

[00:39:20] Upcoming hiking projects, the practicality of early retirement, and the value of simple/frugal living

[00:42:49] Life as a full-time traveler, house sitter, and educator—plus a special offer for the podcast audience

[00:45:29] Belinda’s quick takes on weather, travel routines, and what animals she really fears in Australia

[00:48:09] Final thanks and closing remarks from Amy

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://soultreader.com/

GET BELINDA’'S SPECIAL OFFER:The House Sitting Collective, - House Sitting Courses

20% off all courses (Retail Value $79 & $197)

https://housesittingcollective.com/ CODE: ADULTING

Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Terri Pease about the emotional realities, challenges, and unexpected joys of loving someone with Parkinson’s disease. Joining the conversation from Yarmouth, Maine, Terri opens up about her late-in-life marriage, building a life with her husband while navigating the relentless progression of Parkinson’s, and how caregiving transformed her understanding of love, loss, and support. Listeners will hear how Terri found unexpected strength, candid reflections on relationships changed by illness, and practical wisdom on sustaining dignity.

Terri Pease PhD worked in academics, social services and health care all her professional life. When Terri married her husband who had Parkinson's Disease, she brought her wealth of knowledge and experience to bear on caring for him. That professional experience has informed her approach to caregiving, and to encouraging Parkinson's caregivers to make the idea of self-care real, practical and possible. As the author of Love, Dignity, and Parkinson’s: from Care Partner to Caregiver she has become the online voice for the more than 60,000 new Parkinson’s spousal caregivers who each year start on this long and challenging path.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Understanding the unpredictable journey of Parkinson’s disease and its impact on both the diagnosed and loved ones.
2. Navigating the isolation and emotional overwhelm often experienced by Parkinson’s caregivers, especially partners and spouses.
3. The importance of community, connection, and finding “enough similarity” in shared experiences, even amidst unique circumstances.
4. Maintaining dignity for both the person with Parkinson’s and the caregiver—and why this is central to long-term caregiving relationships.
5. The complex emotions of loss, frustration, and grief as a partner’s capabilities and personality change over time.
6. Coping with changes in intimacy, partnership, and reciprocal support within a marriage affected by neurodegenerative illness.
7. Why communities and support systems often fall short—and creative ways caregivers can find connection and help.
8. Lessons learned on acceptance, letting go, and being present through the end of life.

Quote from the Episode: “When I was able to say to myself, he has nothing for you, that meant I could stop looking for him to be the husband that I had married…and when that happened, I was able to think differently about what is happening here. What are we here?” — Terri Pease

Timestamps: [00:00:07] Welcome & intros; Terri’s home in Yarmouth, Maine; opera as shared art and connection

[00:01:27] Introducing the day’s topic: Loving someone with Parkinson’s disease

[00:02:48] Terri shares how she met her husband and the early awareness of his Parkinson’s diagnosis

[00:03:24] What Terri knew (and didn’t know) about Parkinson’s at the start

[00:04:11] Explaining Parkinson’s disease for those unfamiliar—its unpredictable, individualized course

[00:05:20] How Parkinson’s impacts emotions, personality, and behavior, not just mobility

[00:06:18] The gap between common perceptions and caregivers’ lived experiences

[00:08:02] The role of loneliness and why peer caregiver support is so powerful

[00:10:29] Comparing caregiving to early parenthood—the similarities and crucial differences

[00:11:53] Examining societal expectations, visibility, and (lack of) communal support for adult caregiving

[00:13:24] Cultural contrasts: communal care in other countries vs. isolation in US aging

[00:15:11] Dreams of retirement, sailing, and how Parkinson’s stole shared plans

[00:18:08] Scaffolding, adapting activities, and supporting dignity as abilities decline

[00:19:54] The subtle onset of symptoms and the slow, unpredictable losses

[00:22:00] What surprised Terri most—changes in judgment, writing, and emotional availability

[00:24:00] Navigating deeply personal topics (e.g., incontinence, loss of privacy) and sustaining dignity

[00:26:12] The emotional toll—grappling with loneliness, resentment, and the transformation of partnership

[00:30:16] Lack of support from community, religious groups, and adjusting expectations for help

[00:35:20] Nine years together: the timeline of joy and progressive challenges

[00:36:15] Finding slivers of joy, humor, and connection, even late in illness

[00:38:30] Advice for others: preparing for death, honest conversations, and staying present

[00:40:27] A powerful moment of acceptance and comfort at the end of life

[00:41:48] Terri’s work today: writing, her book (“Love, Dignity, and Parkinson’s”), and helping other caregivers

[00:43:53] Where to find Terri, offer for listeners, and final lighthearted questions about life and joy

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://terripease.com

GET TERRI PEASE'S SPECIAL OFFER: Love, Dignity and Parkinson's: from Care Partner to Caregiver available here: https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9798986700106

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Pallavi Pande about building a supportive community as a South Asian immigrant mom and entrepreneur in Portland, Oregon. The discussion shines a light on the realities of starting over in a new place, the importance of vulnerability, and how taking the first small step toward connection can lead to lasting impact.

Pallavi Pande is a BIPOC mompreneur and the founder of DTOCS, a brand offering classy, compostable single-use tableware for events. Through her firm, DTOCS Consulting, she helps other brands grow on Amazon. She also leads a 2,000+ member South Asian moms group in Oregon. A Tory Burch Foundation Fellow and an honoree on Inc.’s list of fastest-growing companies, Pallavi serves on the board of Naturally Seattle. When she’s not building businesses or mentoring founders, you’ll likely find her dancing Zumba or sipping wine—always championing People, Planet, and Parties.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Overcoming the isolation of relocating and reinventing yourself in a new city as an immigrant.
2. Postpartum depression and the power of vulnerability in reaching out for help.
3. Building community for South Asian women through "Portland Brown Mommies" to address culture-specific needs.
4. The evolution of an online community into deep, multigenerational in-person friendships and support.
5. Using feedback and responsiveness to keep community events relevant, safe, and engaging.
6. Transitioning from social connection to business mentorship: supporting South Asian women entrepreneurs.
7. Mindset, habit change, and resilience in overcoming rejection—personally and professionally.
8. How community supported Pallavi’s entrepreneurial journey with DTOCS compostable tableware.

Quote from the Episode:

"So I went with the vision I had, which was, there's nobody for me. How can I change that narrative? How can I be there for somebody else who's like me, who's trying to move, who has million of questions..." — Pallavi Pande

Timestamps: [00:00:06] Welcome & quick intros; Pallavi shares her Portland home [00:00:38] Navigating life in rainy Portland and fitting in daily movement [00:01:18] Pallavi’s three focuses: moving, overcoming rejection, building community [00:01:43] Pallavi’s migration: marrying young, moving from India to Ohio, then Oregon [00:04:12] Facing postpartum depression, loneliness, and the search for cultural connection [00:05:08] The spark of finding community online and creating “Portland Brown Mommies” [00:07:27] Diversity and inclusivity experiences in Oregon [00:08:05] Loneliness, pandemic impact, and the choice to take action [00:10:02] Mechanics of building an online-to-offline local mom community [00:12:13] Event planning by consensus and member feedback [00:13:43] Advice for those feeling lonely: why Pallavi didn’t just “join a club” [00:16:10] Taking the first baby step: how the group started with a single Facebook post [00:18:48] Tying community-building to entrepreneurship and DTOCS [00:21:03] From social group to business mentor network for South Asian women [00:24:34] Rejection, resilience, and pivoting toward progress [00:28:36] Pallavi’s passion for LinkedIn and how to connect with her/DTOCS [00:30:50] Rapid fire: morning routines, family priorities, and world travel tips [00:36:45] Closing and gratitude for Pallavi’s insights

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: www.dtocs.com

GET PALLAVI PANDE’S SPECIAL OFFER: Use coupon code DTOCS10 at checkout on our website - https://www.dtocs.com, for 10% off and free shipping

Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.

Join the conversation on social. Find the Art of Imperfect Adulting on Instagram @theartof_imperfect_adulting YouTube @imperfectadulting and TikTok @imperfectadulting

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Kim Nicol about the power and impact of asking for what you want. Specifically Kim share the story of how at age 24 she requested a 10-week unpaid sabbatical from her first salaried job. Kim is based in San Francisco. Listeners will gain insights into career pivots, self-advocacy at work, and the transformational value of travel and saying “yes” to yourself.

Kim Nicol is an Executive Mindfulness Coach for leaders in diverse industries. She talks about the human side of leadership on The New Manager Podcast, and teaches Communication Strategies on Maven.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Self-advocacy in early career: Why and how Kim asked for an extended unpaid sabbatical in her early 20s.
2. Overcoming fear in the workplace: Navigating the nerves and uncertainty that come with requesting big things from your employer.
3. The role of supportive work cultures—Kim’s experience in a small, tight-knit company with no formal HR.
4. Transformative power of travel: How living and learning in France expanded Kim’s worldview and triggered new personal growth.
5. The difference between sabbaticals, leaves of absence, and corporate culture in the U.S.
6. Lessons for managers: How leaders can approach unusual employee requests and foster growth.
7. Applying boldness forward: How early self-advocacy continues to impact Kim’s professional and coaching life, and how she encourages others to ask for what they need.
8. French culture, lifelong learning, and the “through line” of storytelling in Kim’s career.

Quote from the Episode: “You can ask for things, it’s okay. They might even say yes. Be willing to be Pleasantly surprised at what someone might say yes to.” — Kim Nicol

Timestamps: [00:00:05] Intro & where Kim calls home—San Francisco and Santa Cruz roots

[00:01:15] Childhood activities: tennis, college rowing, and the introversion of team sports

[00:02:08] Kim’s first post-college job and studying marketing

[00:03:12] Why marketing: the allure of storytelling and business

[00:06:13] The big ask: requesting a 10-week sabbatical as a 24-year-old

[00:07:16] Response & process: boss’s reaction, team structure, and no HR involvement

[00:10:13] What inspired the idea of a sabbatical, French art, travel dreaming

[00:11:14] No precedents: Kim's research, self-direction, and planning the trip

[00:12:49] The ask unfolds: process details and how Kim presented solutions

[00:15:28] Coworkers’ reactions: surprise, envy, and supporting young ambition

[00:16:28] Returning to work: changed perspective and inevitable next steps

[00:18:05] Manager’s perspective: Kim reflects on handling requests as a leader

[00:19:59] Corporate vs. personal sabbaticals; evolving U.S. work culture

[00:21:10] Long-term takeaways: power in asking and why it matters in professional development

[00:23:44] The impact of cultural immersion and expanded worldview

[00:25:40] Previous travel experiences and what inspired Kim’s French adventure

[00:27:44] Closing, Kim’s current podcast, self-advocacy worksheet, and rapid-fire fun questions (“no eggplant!”)

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://kimnicol.com/ or listen to her podcast, New Manager Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-new-manager-podcast/id1482942451

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Lisi Lopez about taking the leap from a decade-long career in industrial engineering to embracing her true passion for writing. In this episode both the host and guest are in Miami but we still recorded it remotely. Listeners will be inspired by Lisi’s candid reflections on practical career choices, honoring family support, and nurturing passions alongside parenthood.

Lisi Lopez is an engineer-turned-writer and a second-generation immigrant, born to a Cuban mother and a Puerto Rican father. In 2017, Lisi and her husband welcomed their middle son, who has Down Syndrome. Channeling her passion for writing, she began publishing advocacy articles to help create a world where her son's extra chromosome is celebrated rather than seen as a disability. Through that journey, she rediscovered her love for storytelling and hasn't looked back since.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Making a major career shift from engineering to creative writing, and what prompted Lisi to make that leap.
2. How family support, practical decision-making, and cultural expectations influenced her educational and professional choices.
3. The impact of parenting, particularly raising a child with Down syndrome, on Lisi’s priorities, creativity, and eventual career transformation.
4. A behind-the-scenes look at balancing a demanding household, marriage to a physician, and personal ambition.
5. The challenges and realities of leaving a stable, technical career for an uncertain but fulfilling creative pursuit.
6. How Lisi blends advocacy for special needs and her Cuban heritage into her writing projects.
7. The importance of rediscovering and honoring creative passions at any stage in adulthood.
8. The power of community, flexibility, and resilience—especially for women navigating work, family, and self-discovery.

Quote from the Episode: "But that doesn’t mean you have to put your passions on a shelf. Right. It’s not a give or take. It’s not a black or white thing here." — Lisi Lopez

Timestamps: [00:00:05] Amy welcomes Lisi and kicks off with childhood storytelling favorites

[00:00:51] [Lisi Lopez] shares Harry Potter as the book that sparked her imagination

[00:01:44] Discussing the cultural phenomenon of Harry Potter for both kids and adults

[00:04:04] How long Lisi worked as an industrial engineer and what the role entailed

[00:05:58] Lisi on the creativity and challenges of being an engineer—especially as a parent

[00:07:18] The “practical” choice to pursue engineering and balancing family expectations

[00:08:09] Rediscovering writing through electives and family advocacy after her son’s birth

[00:13:31] How parenting (and her husband’s medical career) influenced her shift away from engineering

[00:16:13] Lisi’s "aha moment" after back surgery—publishing the manuscripts she’d hidden away

[00:17:59] Navigating marriage, medical school, and raising three children with family support

[00:25:10] Lisi outlines her published and upcoming historical fiction novels, including stories tied to her Cuban American heritage

[00:28:32] Delving into Cuban immigration waves and their impact on storytelling

[00:31:08] Where listeners can find Lisi online, and how she connects with readers

[00:32:10] Fun closing questions—adult responsibilities, movies, gifting, and more

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. You can expect interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://www.lisilopezauthor.com

Find Lisi’s most recent book on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9798992480009

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Cristina Ramirez about personal and professional pivots, the power of discomfort, and redefining resilience in the face of grief and change. Cristina, currently living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (by way of Miami and New Mexico), shares how her life experiences—including global moves, founding a kids’ run club, and facing profound loss—have shaped her philosophy on growth, mindset, and helping children (and adults) build grit. Listeners will hear firsthand how Cristina transformed adversity into action, scaled her business, and found meaning and connection through both her personal journey and her work with DashStrom.

About Cristina M. Ramirez:

Cristina M. Ramirez is Co Founder of DashStrom, a youth empowerment start-up based in Pittsburgh, PA. Her programs have impacted over 12,000 children across 41 states. A veteran of Wall Street and Silicon Valley, Cristina is an award winning coach, best selling author, Ironman triathlete and a USASA Snowboard National Silver Medalist.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Reinventing yourself: How Cristina pivoted from educator and triathlete to entrepreneur, author, and grief survivor
2. Starting and scaling DashStrom: Building a children's run club into an impactful, scalable program focused on empowering kids across the U.S.
3. Navigating grief and life transitions: The reality of losing parents and a spouse while parenting and running a business
4. The role of discomfort in personal growth: Applying the “20% power principle” and why leaning into uncomfortable situations is key for resilience
5. Authenticity over appearance: Facing the fear of “course correcting” in life or business and letting go of external expectations
6. Using social media for support: The surprising comfort Cristina found in sharing her grief journey online
7. Embracing uncertainty: Why it’s okay to change directions, make mistakes, and follow new opportunities at any stage of adulting
8. Helping kids thrive in the digital age: DashStrom’s mission to combat screen time and mental health challenges in youth

Quote from the Episode:

“There is such so much pain that it cannot be more amplified... Having that shared grief with my community and with people, you know, that knew me and people that didn’t know me, yeah, it felt good. It felt like that wall, like there were other people there with me.” — Cristina Ramirez

Timestamps:

00:06 – Welcome, Cristina’s global sense of “home”, and landing in Pittsburgh

00:53 – Why Pittsburgh is an underrated city with culture, art, and sports

02:42 – The birth of the kids’ run club: lessons from Ironman and changing mindsets

04:41 – From “I’m Possible Run Club” to DashStrom: The story behind the name and brand

06:46 – Moving from Miami to New Mexico: On shaking up family life and the role of grief

09:30 – The shock and aftermath of losing her husband, and communicating grief publicly

13:44 – Social media as a support system during tragedy

15:03 – Writing “Empowered by Discomfort”: Why and how the book came to be

17:17 – The “reverse Uno” move: Going back to DashStrom full-time after adult coaching

20:41 – Mindset shifts, facing doubts, letting go, and reinventing yourself

25:00 – Unexpected paths: Following “breadcrumbs” and reaching thousands of kids nationwide

27:41 – Where to find Cristina’s book and how to get involved with DashStrom

29:14 – Cristina’s triathlon update, creating tranquility through shamanic drumming, and applying life lessons from growing up internationally

33:05 – Closing reflections and gratitude

You can find Cristina’s Book, Empowered by Discomfort here https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9798987856000

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Kristina Heaugh-Avritt about the complexities of school choice, navigating "cracks in the system" of public education, and redefining joyful, values-based learning at home. Kristina, based in Southern Oregon, brings nearly three decades of classroom experience and her perspective as a special needs parent to the conversation. Together, they dive deep into teacher burnout, the shifting landscape of education, and the empowering journey of supporting alternative learning paths for families.

Kristina Heagh-Avritt is the founder of Vibrant Family Education and the co-host of the Bringing Education Home podcast. After over 30 years in education, she now guides parents to create joyful, connected, values-based learning at home. She is dedicated to helping families raise happy, healthy, and successful children who love to learn and feel deeply supported.

Main Topics Covered:

1. The evolving realities and challenges within public school systems, including “teaching to the test” and loss of teacher autonomy
2. How administrative shifts and tech demands have impacted both teachers and families, especially after the pandemic
3. The crucial role of parent involvement and how modern schools have unintentionally created barriers to collaboration
4. Navigating burnout as an educator: emotional shifts, leaving legacy workplaces, and the hard decision to step away
5. The difference between replicating traditional schooling at home versus designing custom home education experiences
6. Demystifying alternative education: homeschooling, unschooling, road schooling, and world schooling—and how to choose the right fit
7. Addressing family values, holistic learning, and handling fears about “missing something” in home-based education
8. How Kristina supports parents through 1:1 coaching, building accountability, routines, and personally tailored plans

Quote from the Episode: “I think a lot of it had to do with helping other people, you know, and just knowing that the children I could impact and help grow and change and be confident and stuff. When I started school, I wasn't very confident, and I grew into my confidence and my capabilities with great teachers. … When you're watching, watching a little kid and they finally get something, their eyes pop open, and you can almost literally see that little cartoon bubble, light bulb above their head going, I got it right.” — Kristina Heaugh-Avritt

Timestamps: [00:00:06] Welcome & intros; Kristina shares her Oregon roots [00:01:20] Snow days: Why Kristina prefers evening walks over outdoor sports [00:02:04] Kristina’s dual perspective—teacher and special needs parent [00:03:06] Why second and third grades are a “sweet spot” for growth [00:04:06] Teaching all subjects except PE, music, and library [00:04:27] Big district restructuring: Shifts, chaos, and adapting [00:05:16] Being an academic “bookworm” and loving school childhood [00:06:01] Mrs. Reynolds: The teacher who inspired Kristina’s journey [00:06:58] Motivation for teaching: Helping kids gain confidence [00:08:13] Hitting limits—“loving kids through the cracks in the system” [00:09:00] From connection to burnout: Policy, tests, and admin changes [00:11:07] Curriculum before “teaching to the test”—what flexibility looked like [00:12:39] What changed for teachers who fell behind rigid test schedules [00:15:40] Slow decline, parent disconnect, and impact of frequent admin turnover [00:17:57] The increasing barriers for parent involvement at school [00:21:58] Principal changes and the loss of school “family” [00:23:14] Making the difficult decision to leave classroom teaching [00:24:20] Transition into Vibrant Family Education—helping parents directly [00:27:32] What does Kristina’s coaching offer? Foundations for alternative and home learning [00:29:51] What “values-based” really means: Tailoring to each family’s traditions [00:32:29] The mistake of trying to “bring school home” vs. building custom routines [00:34:19] Kristina’s ebook offer: Education at home in 10 simple steps

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: Kristina has a podcast: Bringing Education Home - https://feeds.captivate.fm/bringing-education-home/

GET KRISTINA’S SPECIAL OFFER: Education at Home in 10 Simple Steps

Education at Home in 10 Simple Steps eBook is the guide for those who are ready to get started on their homeschool journey. Our #1 goal for this book is to help you feel comfortable taking the first, best step in your child’s education change.

Value - Free

https://link.vibrantfamilyeducation.com/widget/form/RZnPGWRIufhO8paew0I4

Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Emily Paulsen about the realities of being child free by choice. Emily joins from Chicago, Illinois.The audience will gain clarity on how to talk about family planning (or the lack thereof) with sensitivity, learn about the shifting landscape for Gen Z and Millennials, and explore the sometimes unseen ripple effects of opting out of parenthood.

About Emily Paulsen: Emily Paulsen is an award-winning entrepreneur and happily childfree woman shining a light on the often overshadowed childfree-by-choice perspective. Whether interviewing innovative experts or positioning leaders to scale through her Brand Studio, Electric Collab, Emily’s power lies in allowing people to feel seen and celebrated for who they are . She’s spent years honing the ability to deeply understand and amplify others in an honest, high-impact way.

Main Topics Covered:

1. The evolving cultural conversation and data on living child free, including global trends and generational differences.
2. Why representation matters—how seeing alternative life paths enables true personal choice, and the impact of visibility in media, workplaces, and families.
3. Navigating family and friend reactions when "coming out" as child free, and why supportive communities make a difference.
4. Workplace bias, caregiving double standards, and the ripple effects of assumptions about who will (or won’t) have children.
5. The pressure, pain points, and social judgments embedded in conversations around parenthood—and what to say (or not say) to someone who is child free.
6. How internal clarity and confidence develop over time, and the importance of talking about personal decisions openly but respectfully.
7. The nuanced differences between being child free by choice and by circumstance, with discussion about language, labels, and surveys.
8. The value of parallel life paths and rejecting the idea that one way of "adulting" is better than another.

Quote from the Episode: "My goal is for women, for all people really, to understand themselves well enough to make a choice that's right for them. And I think that choice becomes a lot more fair when you see both sides of that decision." — Emily Paulsen

Timestamps: [00:00:05] Amy welcomes Emily; Chicago’s winter wonderland; favorite winter activities

[00:01:57] Child free by choice: Amy introduces the topic; Emily shares her passion for representation

[00:02:30] Data and trends: declining birth rates, international comparisons, and generational shifts

[00:04:23] Survey limitations: why it’s hard to research people’s choices and the categories of child free, childless, and more

[00:08:57] Emily’s personal story: When she realized motherhood wasn’t for her, and how family scripts shape our view of adulthood

[00:14:12] Barbie, representation, and the power of seeing alternatives in childhood play

[00:15:04] Why it’s not about convincing others to be child free, but about informed, personal decision

[00:17:58] The workplace: maternity leave, double standards, and caring for aging parents

[00:20:05] The internal journey: relief, “awakening,” and the complexities of telling others about being child free

[00:24:24] Sensitivity and conversations: Recognizing that choices about family are deeply personal and varied

[00:26:27] Societal assumptions, parental expectations, and the generational “timeline”

[00:34:07] The ripple effect: how choices echo through families and communities

[00:37:40] Public conversations: intrusive questions, Uber driver moments, and survey double standards

[00:41:37] On judgment, selfishness, and why choice—not sides—matters most

[00:43:49] How workplace and community structures spark comparison among women (and why the problem isn’t kids vs. no kids)

[00:51:31] Emily’s best advice for talking to child free adults: Don’t ask why, and be normal!

[00:52:18] About Emily’s podcast: “Curious Life of a Child Free Woman” and how to connect

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://www.curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.com/

Listen to Emily Paulsen’s Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/curious-life-of-a-childfree-woman/id1777850561

https://open.spotify.com/show/6sT7kPp4dOthbvXAFZPOBN

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Joanne Gates about navigating motherhood, career ambition, and the realities of working in the male-dominated tech industry. Joanne, joining from Scottsdale, Arizona, recounts her move from Boston to Seattle, her nearly 30-year career at Microsoft, and the pivotal choices she made as both a mom and a leader. Listeners will discover how Joanne carved out success in corporate America, confronted workplace bias, and now channels her expertise into coaching women to thrive at work and at home.

About Joanne Gates:

Joanne Gates is a certified executive life coach who helps professional women in tech and male-dominated industries unlock their career potential with clarity, confidence, and purpose. After a 30-year career at Microsoft—rising from entry-level to executive—Joanne now empowers women to overcome imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, and perfectionism while building authentic leadership presence. She’s especially known for helping women get promoted into senior leadership roles and then kick ass once they’re there—navigating high-stakes environments with emotional intelligence, strategic influence, and unapologetic power. Joanne blends deep empathy with sharp business acumen to help her clients lead boldly, drive impact, and rewrite the rules of leadership.

Main Topics Covered:

1. The life-altering impact of motherhood on career paths, especially for women in tech and male-dominated corporate environments.
2. Facing and overcoming gender bias and assumptions about working mothers in the workplace.
3. The challenges and family dynamics of being the primary breadwinner and having a stay-at-home dad partner in the late '90s and early 2000s.
4. Navigating pivotal career decisions, missed opportunities, and the trade-offs of prioritizing family vs. pursuing senior leadership.
5. Advocating for oneself in corporate hierarchies, especially when faced with unfair evaluations or lack of managerial support.
6. The evolution (and limitations) of maternity leave policies and the importance of workplace systems that genuinely support parents.
7. Joanne’s transition from a senior leader at Microsoft to executive and life coaching for women, with a focus on helping others define and achieve their own success.
8. Practical tips for protecting your career trajectory, handling performance reviews, and knowing when (and how) to escalate workplace concerns.

Quote from the Episode:

"I felt like I had to, like, shake him by the shoulders… How many guys have to have this conversation? That just pisses me off. We have to because, obviously, it’s pretty apparent that we’re having a child." — Joanne Gates

Timestamps: [00:00:04] Welcome, Joanne’s location, and adjusting to life in the desert [00:00:46] Childhood winter activities and chasing the sun [00:01:37] Introducing today’s topic: balancing motherhood and career [00:02:29] On generational change—and how much (or little) has shifted for working women [00:03:19] The Covid reset and women leaving corporate roles; Joanne’s new passion for helping women succeed [00:04:24] Joanne’s career start, move to Microsoft in the dot-com era [00:07:21] Early influences, engineering in college, and professional aspirations in a male-driven world [00:11:19] On early career choices, family expectations, and the pressure to decide your future “from a very young age” [00:13:14] Strategic family planning vs. reacting to life—how Joanne and her husband made tough choices [00:17:55] Deciding which parent would stay home, and the financial/logistical realities in a pre-remote work world [00:19:25] The loneliness and community gap for stay-at-home dads [00:22:18] Microsoft’s corporate culture around mothers in the ’90s/early 2000s—assumptions, bias, and policy limitations [00:25:27] The invisible penalty of motherhood: performance reviews, pay, and navigating “fairness” [00:31:10] Maternity leave policies then and now—fears around job security and returning to work [00:36:32] Systemic challenges: why do big companies struggle to change on women and family policy? [00:38:25] Lack of diversity, groupthink, and the value of disruptors in changing corporate culture [00:41:46] How Joanne stayed and thrived at Microsoft, even as most opted out [00:42:03] Major trade-offs: missing opportunities for the sake of family [00:47:06] Facing career setbacks, fighting for promotion, and deciding not to “rage quit” [00:53:12] Tactical advice: documenting your worth, knowing when—and how—to advocate for yourself [00:55:01] Joanne’s mission now: mentoring and coaching women in corporate life [00:56:08] What’s different for working women today, and a special offer for listeners [00:57:27] Lightning round: morning routines, relaxation, and spending on self

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

GET JOANNE GATES’ SPECIAL OFFER: 4 Steps to Navigate Your Career Journey workbook

A Free PDF that provides actionable steps to demystify the steps to landing your next job, or that job several years in the future.

Link to download the pdf: https://www.execcoachjoanne.com/4stepsworkbook

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Lilli Bewley about breaking relationship patterns, healing childhood wounds, and rediscovering identity through the lens of love and dating. Calling in from sunny Phoenix, Arizona, Lilli shares her transformative journey as a self-described “cycle breaker,” moving from performing life to authentic alignment and connection. Listeners will gain insight into how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, the power of inner work, and how clarity on needs and self-worth can radically transform one’s dating experience and overall well-being.

About Lilli Bewley: Lilli Bewley is a Dating Coach for Finding Love with over 10 years of experience in personal development. She, herself, went from just surviving in life to thriving in love & purpose. Currently, she is helping single & successful women love dating & find true love.

Main Topics Covered:

1. The role of childhood patterns and family models in shaping adult relationships and self-worth.
2. Recognizing and breaking unhealthy cycles as a conscious, courageous act—and what it means to be a “cycle breaker.”
3. Moving from high achievement and people-pleasing to inner alignment and authentic identity.
4. The importance and challenges of communicating needs rather than just emotions, especially for women who have experienced trauma or dysfunction.
5. How “performing life” and transactional self-worth show up in dating, career, and family—and the work required to shift toward true fulfillment.
6. Faith, spirituality, and overcoming religious trauma as sources of guidance and healing, regardless of doctrine.
7. Why inner transformation is the foundation for success in dating—and how dating apps can be used as a practice ground for self-awareness and boundary-setting.
8. Lilli’s framework for feminine dating archetypes and the “magnetic woman,” and how understanding these archetypes accelerates healing and connection.

Quote from the Episode: “There are parts of us that believe that we have to be bright and shiny, we have to be a certain way, we have to be a certain weight, we have to have a certain number in our bank account. Most women are in this transactional relationship with self, with love, and with performing—meaning, ‘If I’m sexy, then I’ll get love.’”—Lilli Bewley

Timestamps: [00:00:04] Amy welcomes Lilli Bewley and asks about her location in Phoenix, AZ

[00:01:10] Lilli shares her love for Phoenix’s winter weather and outdoor activities

[00:02:10] Pivot to love, relationships, and the theme of alignment and identity

[00:03:26] Lilli describes the impact of childhood patterns, early trauma, and the start of her inner healing journey over a decade ago

[00:06:25] Moving through high achievement, validation-seeking, and emptiness to see root causes of self-worth issues

[00:08:58] Amy and Lilli discuss awareness of recurring patterns and what it means to break cycles, especially as the oldest sibling

[00:10:23] Lilli explains her life situation at the turning point—working in corporate America and in an unfulfilling relationship

[00:12:10] The nuanced challenge of communication: expressing needs and understanding core wounds

[00:14:07] Amy relates mediation and conflict patterns to relationship dynamics

[00:16:19] Lilli reflects on her past—chameleon tendencies, people pleasing, feeling unsafe to be herself, and lack of purpose

[00:19:45] Lilli describes reaching a glass ceiling and catalyzing transformation with support from books, therapy, and her niece/nephew

[00:23:23] Lilli shares her experience of deep crisis and hearing “God’s voice” as a turning point in her healing journey

[00:25:58] Spirituality and faith—Lilli’s journey from religious trauma to finding purpose and identity

[00:29:52] The concept of performing life versus living in alignment; unpacking transactional worth

[00:33:35] Societal pressures and social media—why these cycles persist for younger generations

[00:34:41] Transitioning from a corporate job to becoming a dating coach focused on inner transformation

[00:35:55] Lilli’s feminine dating archetypes and the “magnetic woman”—attracting healthy love from a place of alignment

[00:39:00] Coaching focus and inclusivity—working primarily with women, but on identity and self-first foundations

[00:40:21] The role of dating apps, changing patterns, and using apps for practice and self-growth

[00:44:45] Lilli’s shoutout to her podcast and quiz; final rapid fire questions on sunrises, Amazon blue blockers, tipping, and gratitude

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: Feminine Dating Archetype Quiz: DatingArchetype.com

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.

Why subscribe?

• Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
• Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
• Access all important links in one convenient place
• Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen

Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com

Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)

For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69

Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi

Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590

Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofj

For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stone

before that I used Kit.

Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors