The Attachment Confessions

Brent is back — and this time we're getting into the good stuff 👀

In part 1, Brent walked us through how his dismissive avoidant attachment formed in childhood. In part 2, we're picking up right where we left off — diving into how those DA tendencies actually played out in his romantic relationships, including a real behind-the-scenes look at how his attachment showed up in his marriage.

And the part I'm most excited about? Where Brent is now. Because spoiler alert — discovering attachment science changed things for him. (You're welcome, Brent 😉)

This conversation is one of the most eye-opening episodes we've had on TAC. Hearing a DA talk openly about how his attachment impacted his marriage — and his willingness to do something about it — is exactly the kind of real, raw content this podcast was made for.

Shoutout to Brent for being so incredibly open and honest about his journey. It takes guts, and it's going to help so many people🙌

Reach out to be considered! I'm especially looking for an Anxious Preoccupied to come share their story! DM me on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions if you're interested — I'd love to have you on 📲

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Y'all have heard my fearful avoidant woes plenty by now — so it's time to hand the mic to someone else🎙️

Introducing a brand new series here on The Attachment Confessions: Guest Lived Experiences — where guests from all walks of life and across every end of the attachment spectrum give us a real, unfiltered insider look at what it's like to live with their insecure attachment style.

And our very first guest? Brent Stokes — a dismissive avoidant. In part 1, Brent takes us all the way back to the beginning, sharing how his DA attachment formed in childhood and the experiences that shaped the way he shows up in relationships today.

This episode is going to hit different, y'all. Hearing the DA perspective firsthand — not through the lens of someone dating one, but from a DA himself — brings a whole new level of understanding and empathy to this attachment style💜

Whether you're a DA, you love one, or you've had your heart broken by one — this one is for you.

Brent is back next episode to share how his DA attachment went on to impact his romantic relationships — and how he's now on the road to earning his attachment security. You will not want to skip this one 🙌

📲 Got a burning attachment question? DM me on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions — your question could be featured on an upcoming Q&A episode!

>>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

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Today we are taking our previous discussion on narcissism a step further and examining the most painful duo that exists – the narcissist / codependent toxic relationship dynamic. 

From an attachment lens, the codependent partner subconsciously enters relationships with their anxious attachment in the driver's seat, leaving them totally vulnerable to the charm, manipulation, and control of the narcissist. Whether they are an Anxious Preoccupied or a Fearful Avoidant that leans anxious, the pairing of the codependent with the narcissist proves to be the perfect storm and unfortunately, it's all too common. 

In this episode, we'll do a deep dive into the many reasons why these two tend to gravitate toward each other, the behaviors that each bring to the relationship, and the destruction that inevitably ensues.

In true Attachment Confessions fashion, you'll get a closer glimpse behind the curtain of my toxic covert narcissist relationship. It was hell, but by the grace of God, I made it through to the other side.

If you find yourself in a similar situation where you feel there is no escape, listen up. You, too, can break free from the agonizing narcissistic stronghold.

Check out attachment expert Dr. Sarah Hensley's hybrid group coaching services if you're serious about breaking your painful relationship patterns and healing your attachment, just like I am!

The Love Doc Hybrid Group Coaching

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy topics but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!  

xo - Chelsea

P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Hey everybody! Welcome to episode 9 of The Attachment Confessions!

On today’s episode, we're doing a deep dive into a topic that a number of you have asked me about – narcissists. Particularly, where does narcissism fall on the attachment spectrum? When it comes to how the two of these coincide, there actually is no correlation at all whatsoever.

Narcissism is a highly complex psychological construct that can wreak havoc in all areas of someone’s life that struggles with this issue, especially in their romantic relationships. 

We'll be chatting through the differences between attachment and narcissism, digging into the varying levels of narcissism, and going over the different types of narcissism.

The science shows that whether you are an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or a Securely Attached individual – narcissism is a totally different psychological construct than attachment. 

After having experienced many years of abuse from a covert narcissist myself that I am now SO thankful to refer to as my ex, I'm here to lay out all the signs of narcissism for you guys, so that you can hopefully spot a narcissist quicker than I was able to.

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty disturbing topics from time to time. But – opening our eyes and seeing things for what they truly are can often be the catalyst we need to experience peace in our lives.

And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and finally break free from anyone in your life that doesn't deserve to be in your orbit. That's my hope, at least!  

xo - Chelsea

P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions, so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

What’s up, everybody! Welcome to EPISODE 8 of The Attachment Confessions!!

Guys – We’ve hit a milestone making it this far. Fun fact – 90% of podcasts don’t make it past episode 7, which is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. But here we are, episode 8 baby! Thank you so much for giving me space in your life and joining me on this attachment healing adventure! It seriously means the world *insert joyful teary-eyed emoji*

On today’s episode, we are wrapping up our 3-part breakup series by examining when a relationship that’s gone splitsville is salvageable versus ending things for good.

We’ll dive into the most common reasons why couples call it quits, chat through which circumstances are definite deal-breakers vs which love stories stand a chance of being revived, and finish things by going over some solid advice from attachment expert Thais Gibson on how to approach your ex if getting back together is on your wish list. 

For the sagas that are worth saving – understanding both your and your partner’s attachment styles can make all the difference in the world of setting your relationship re-do up for success. 

Whether you’re an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached – knowing when to keep trying or when to throw in the towel forever can be a confusing time in anyone’s love life. Having a better understanding of what is and is not worth fighting for can help give both partners the clarity needed to make the best decision – to continue or not to continue. 

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty intense topics but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and finally have the tools needed to experience break-up or make-up clarity in your love life. That's my hope, at least!  

xo - Chelsea

P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

What's up, guys! Thanks so much for stopping by for episode 7 of The Attachment Confessions!

Today we're continuing our breakup series with an episode featuring some sure-fire ways to stay strong during the dreadful post-breakup season, including a spotlight on one pro tip in particular that has gained massive popularity over the last few years among attachment experts and relationship coaches alike – The No-Contact Rule.

Breakups are one of life's major valleys of heartbreak, so the more {actually} helpful guidance we can get in order to navigate these brutal breakup waves, the better! 

In this episode we'll discuss how each attachment style responds to the no-contact rule, the 10 reasons why this breakup technique works, and how to effectively implement and stick to the no-contact rule – God forbid you find yourself in another relationship demise.

So, whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached, this episode packs a ton of powerful advice that will better equip you to come out on the other side of your split stronger and healthier than ever!

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy stuff but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and master the breakup game like a champ. That's my hope, at least!  

xo – Chelsea

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

What's up, everyone! Welcome back for episode 6 of The Attachment Confessions!

Today's episode centers around one of the questions I get asked most about when it comes to attachment – Breakups.

UGH. Breakups. The dreaded B word. 

Breakups. Are. The. Worst. 

But just like so many other things when it comes to how we handle the highs and lows of relationshipping, there's actually a science behind how each attachment style grapples with breaking up. Just when you thought attachment theory couldn't get any more fascinating!

On episode 6, we're diving into how Anxious Preoccupieds, Dismissive Avoidants, Fearful Avoidants (guilty as charged!), and Secures ride the emotional wave of going splitsville.

I also open up about how I've been managing my recent breakup. Although it's been extremely painful over the last three months, setting out on my attachment healing journey has made SUCH a monumental difference in how I'd be handling things, had I not discovered attachment science. I'm pretty proud of myself, to be honest!

So, put on your fave comfy pants, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and let's chat about what seems to be one of the hottest topics y'all have been asking me about since starting this pod.

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty gut-wrenching stuff but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!  

xo – Chelsea

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

On today's episode, we take a deeper dive into one of the early attachment experiments that our guest from episode 4, Brie Neil, mentioned toward the beginning of our conversation – Mary Ainsworth's 'Strange Situation' experiment. This experiment is what piqued Brie's interest in attachment science, and I gotta tell you, I was already obsessed with attachment before, but learning about the 'Strange Situation' catapulted my obsession to new heights!

We'll discuss how Ainsworth's groundbreaking findings truly confirmed and shaped attachment theory as we know it today, and how cultivating a secure attachment in our children is so pivotal in how they will experience relationships for the rest of their lives. 

The kicker, though? It is nearly impossible to foster a secure attachment in our kids if we, as parents, do not have a secure attachment of our own. This just further goes to show yet another reason healing our insecure attachment is so critical.

Now, if you're thinking, "Oh, great! I've already totally messed up this whole parenting thing!!" – Remember guys, attachment is learned. This can all be unlearned. Healing is possible, for both you and your child! All you have to do is take the first step toward healing.

Resources to check out that I mention for better understanding and healing your insecure attachment: 

Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a Fearful Avoidant – it is never too late to heal your insecure attachment. And it is also never too late to course-correct the attachment you've been cultivating in your child.

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy, interesting stuff, but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe this deep dive into Mary Ainsworth's 'Strange Situation' will inspire you to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!

xo – Chelsea

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

What's up, guys! Happy Wednesday!

I am SO incredibly excited to have my VERY FIRST guest on the pod with me today!!!

Brie Neil joins The Attachment Confessions to nerd-out with me on all things attachment science!

Brie is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in attachment. She is the owner of Thrive Counseling Clinic in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she focuses on individual therapy, couples therapy, and addiction counseling. 

Today she is bringing her attachment theory expertise and answering some of my burning questions. You are in for a treat!!

We wrap up by discussing a quote from her website that has resonated with me over the last couple years since I first heard it. It beautifully sums up what healing your insecure attachment can do, not just for you, but for generations to come:

"Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow." -Terry Real

If you live in Oklahoma and want to connect with Brie for healing your attachment, you can email her at [email protected] or visit her website at Thrive Counseling Clinic for more information and other ways to get in contact with her.

Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a Fearful Avoidant – Brie's seen it all and has guided countless clients through the attachment healing process using proven therapeutic techniques. 

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy stuff, but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe this convo with Brie will inspire you to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!

xo – Chelsea

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Y'all – I may end up regretting this, but today I'm spilling some tea on a few of the Fearful Avoidant red flags I've experienced in my past relationships. A couple stories are sins of my exes, a couple stories star yours truly, but ultimately, the real red flags are all mine to carry.

Whether I put up with bad behavior from partners way too many times to count, or I myself was the one exhibiting bad behavior – a red flag is a red flag is a red. freaking. flag. And thanks to my Fearful Avoidant insecure attachment, I've been both catching and waving those scarlet banners for far too long.

Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy stuff but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and finally put down your own red flags. That's my hope, at least!

💜 Ready to start your own healing journey? Listeners of The Attachment Confessions get 10% off Dr. Sarah Hensley's attachment healing programs at thelovedoc.com — use code CHELSEA10 at checkout.

Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, OR the holy grail of them all – Securely Attached – all are welcome to witness my journey of going from FA to secure AF!

xo – Chelsea

>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!

https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15

OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout