The Attic Breakdown

Shirtless septuagenarians, security tissues, and bedtime blanket watching. Backwards Branson, species vs. feces, Jordan gets re-born, and also is lewd nude?

Henry's magical paintbrush, canine moisture strips, dangling teets, and the Santa shimmy. Soothing egg cartons, cobras and tigers, and also our successful striving.

Joined at the hip, lazy pumpers, the honor system, and missing waiting. Renouncing the Mayflower, flying monkeys, justice comeuppance, and also a brunchy hangover.

Topography struggles, sparkling water, and 500 f-bombs, Heather’s local bar, and the Anniversary blazer. The gospel of Hamilton, homeless not toothless, Breaking Bad, and also half opened bottles.

Party pressure, doubting Depp, MPG stats, and 2-footed drivers. Popped sequins, laughing away the pox, and also Angela’s sensual page turning.

Road trip roadblocks, tire pressure trials, and who names their kid Claude? Melatonin meltdown, mattress armholes, contact toss, and also thirsty pheromones.

Murderous mammals, voracious vultures, off-roading coolers and 2-inch articles. Moldy butts, paper crop tops, fashionable armpits, and also an inconvenient flight.

Bike short announcement, bootleg lenses, stealing tow trucks, and our famous neighbor. Overly-tight swaddles, a graveyard of facts, dum-dum boats, and also galactic screen savers.

The nature of a biscuit, parenting peak, compromised soup scoops, and unexpected catfish bait. Name that model, the right to be cranky, and also Heather’s senior center letdown.

Revenge elephants, sophisticated VCRs, the brink of insanity, and Heather doesn’t ever think about Hawaii.  Environmental shrinkage, farewell tomatoes, plants vs. humans, and also where on earth is the cloud?