Thrashings! Did you miss last weeks episode but don't have 4 hours to devote to The Bachelorette tonight? You’re in luck! Enjoy this brief recap of last week’s episode that Sara forgot to post during last weeks eclipse energy vortex. Enjoy on your lunch break or evening-commute before tonight’s new episode premieres! 

Last week on The Bachelorette: 

MINNESOTA JOE gets the first date card. Michelle walks Joe through the corridors of her high school and Joe walks Michelle through the corridors of his psyche, sharing his high school basketball trauma. Karmic patterns reveal themselves and Sara throws a curve ball with the trashiest TRASH TAKE yet, about who Joe Coleman will ultimately end up with. 

Viking Games is the theme of the group date and little man big ego, Chris S is given a horse-ass and hoofs (with lifts!) as a uniform and finds himself personifying the Chiron archetype to a T! His deepest insecurities will surely provide collective healing en mass. While in the future, Chris may have a shot at redemption if he gets cast on paradise and returns to the small screen with an evolved, upgraded persona, but as of this episode, he's right about one thing — he’s “not like the other guys” - he’s way worse. NO ROSE FOR YOU! In other notable contestants, Brendan, who is truly madly deeply in love, may not be the "biggest baddest viking" of the bunch, but he does have the most similar speaking voice to Michael Jackson. 

Speaking of Chiron, Despite his winning the group date challenge and some special 1:1 time with Michelle, Sara realizes she can not love Clayton fully because his underbite mirrors the part of herself that she has the hardest time loving. DEEP. Chiron abounds! 

On the next 1:1 date, Michelle has a fabulous time with frontrunner Nayte. "Best date of her life" and the worst dating history -- we learn her last boyfriend of three years ended when she contracted a life-threatening illness and he couldn't care less! Despite ignoring her at the teddy bear slumber party, it looks like Nayte's got a real shot! 

Finally at the cocktail party, Martin's gemini moon’s rears it's chatty head again and he says all the wrong things. Swolu call's him two-faced which is extremely perceptive seeing as he likely is not privvy to Martin's moon sign. While Swolu didn't win the episode outright, he did win “most intuitive."

Leroy and Casey who have both had no screen time go home, so thats fine. 

Talk to you tonight after episode 6! 

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