In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex educator, intimacy coach, podcaster, and sexual assault survivor Annette Benedetti about something we don't talk about nearly enough: what pleasure and sexuality can look like after sexual trauma. Together, we explore the stories we're told about how survivors are "supposed" to feel about sex, and what becomes possible when we stop putting people's sexuality into those boxes.

Throughout the conversation, Annette shares pieces of her own story, including what it was like to still deeply want sex and pleasure after assault, and how she began to understand the ways trauma was still showing up in her body years later. We talk about numbness, pain, dissociation, shame, trust, kink, consent, different kinds of orgasm, and why curiosity about what your body actually wants can change so much.

Annette shares how she uses pleasure to rebuild trust with the body so that you can reconnect with sensation, desire, and your own sexual self on your terms.

This episode is a rich, honest conversation about healing, pleasure, and letting go of the idea that what happened to you gets to decide what your sexuality looks like now.

Connect with Annette

Website talksexwithannette.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/

Free Gift 365 Days of Orgasms Journey https://talksexwithannette.com/365-days-of-orgasms/

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with mental health coach, psychologist, and psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Pariser about assertiveness, intimacy, and why asking for what you want can feel so vulnerable.

During our conversation, Michael shares how his own experience with "nice guy syndrome" led him into the work of helping people get more honest about what they feel, what they like, and what they want. Along the way, we talk about the difference between being nice and being kind, why pleasing can turn into resentment, and what happens when we expect our partners to know what we want without ever actually saying it.

Michael also breaks down what assertiveness is and what it is not. It is not aggression, and it is not passivity. It is the practice of standing in your own desire while also making room for the other person's truth. We explore how that shows up in everyday life, in long-term relationships, and especially in the bedroom, where the stakes can feel higher and the vulnerability can feel even more intense.

By the end, we come back to one essential truth: better sex is not about mind reading. It is about honesty, intimacy, communication, and learning how to ask for what you want with more courage and care.

Connect with Dr Micheal

Website https://drpariser.com/

Assertiveness Course on Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/the-assertiveness-formula/

Book: No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero's Journey, A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming an Integrated Male:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/no-more-mr-nice-guy-dr-michael-pariser/1137496205

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drmichaelpariser

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with PleasureLit founder, bestselling author of The PleasureLit Way, host of PleasureLit with Patricia, and award-winning pleasure educator PleasureLit Patricia. Together we explore what happens when women stop performing, people-pleasing, and managing everyone else's needs and begin reconnecting with the pleasure that lives in their body.

Patricia shares how leaving a DV marriage led her to reclaim her body, voice, boundaries, and pleasure. Along the way, we talk about body safety, nervous system regulation, breath, movement, sound, and the transition from being stuck in the mind to being able to actually receive sensation and pleasure.

We also explore why so many women self-abandon, how the "good girl" learns to function instead of feel, and what changes when receiving becomes part of the pleasure loop. Patricia shares her perspective on full-body yes, full-body no, and the important middle ground of "let's try it," along with the ways kink, BDSM, and pleasure toys can support exploration, communication, and embodied choice.

This episode is an invitation to come back home to your body, stop treating pleasure like something you have to earn, and remember that better sex is not about performance. It is about safety, communication, receiving, and practice.

Connect with Patricia

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Pleasurelit-Way-transformational-sensuality-mindfulness/dp/1764120876/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pleasurelit.patricia/

Free Workshop to reconnect with your body Join Substack: https://pleasurelitwithpatricia.substack.com

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with George Goulburn, a professional companion for women, about what he has learned from moving out of the boardroom and into the bedroom. George brings a thoughtful and grounded perspective on intimacy, attention, consent, safety, and what many women are longing for, so that you can better understand how slowing down, listening, and receiving a no with grace can create more trust, connection, and pleasure.

George shares how years of dating, relating, and listening to women eventually led him into this work, and why so many of his clients are not necessarily looking for sex first. Often, they are craving affection, presence, confidence, touch, and the rare experience of being fully seen. We talk about why women over 50 can feel invisible in dating and desire, why attention is an erotic skill that can be practiced, and why foreplay begins long before bodies touch.

Along the way, we explore consent, people-pleasing, boundaries, and the importance of being able to trust someone's no as much as their yes. George offers a clear and generous perspective on what men often miss, including the need to slow down, stay curious, ask better questions, and understand that pleasure is not a performance.

This episode is an invitation to treat sex as something natural, beautiful, relational, and worth learning how to do well. Better sex isn't a trick. It's a practice.

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with somatic intimacy coach and trauma resolution practitioner Lorina Manzanita. We talk about the hidden cost of always attuning to someone else, and how learning to receive nourishment can open the door to more pleasurable, connected sex and relationships.

Lorina shares how her work grew out of her own experience of growing up highly attuned to everyone else's emotions, needs, and boundaries while losing track of her own. Throughout the conversation, we talk about overgiving, self abandonment, nervous system regulation, erotic nourishment, and how expanding what we think of as sex can help us create more satisfying and connected intimacy.

In this conversation, Lorina shares practical ways to begin receiving more pleasure and nourishment, including somatic resourcing, paying attention to what feels pleasurable, and noticing the places where your body starts to shut down or contract when things feel too good. We also talk about desire gaps in relationships, the fear of saying yes when it might lead to more than you want, and how both partners can practice creating more safety, spaciousness, and honest connection.

This episode is an invitation to widen your sense of what nourishes you, build more capacity for pleasure, and learn how to stay connected to yourself while opening to another person.

Website: https://integratingeros.com

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lorinamanzanita/

A free mini course https://integratingeros.com/nourished-mini-course/nourished-welcome

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with longtime BDSM educator, mentor, and professional dominant Master Hines. We explore what power exchange can teach us about desire, trust, presence, and the kind of connection that makes sex and relationships feel more alive.

Master Hines shares how he first found his way into BDSM through a desire to become a better lover, and how mentorship, community, and decades of experience shaped his approach to dominance. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the changes in the BDSM community over time, the difference between topping and dominance, what makes a powerful scene, and why good BDSM is not about the toy, the technique, or the performance, but the quality of connection between the people involved.

In this conversation, Master Hines shares his perspective on loving dominance, rough body play, primal play, authority exchange, and the deep responsibility that comes with holding power in an intimate space. We also explore how BDSM can create catharsis, healing, and a kind of spiritual presence when people feel safe enough to be fully in their bodies and fully with each other.

This episode is an invitation to look beyond the surface of kink and understand BDSM as a practice of love, attention, trust, and deeply embodied connection

Connect with Hines

Website: https://lovingdominance.com/

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex counselor, educator, and author Julie Merriman. We explore what happens to desire when you have spent years taking care of everyone else while your own body, pleasure, and sense of aliveness slowly fade into the background.

Julie shares how her work grew out of decades of supporting women through burnout, along with her own experience of hitting that wall in midlife and finding her way back to feeling again. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the shame so many people carry around sex, how a dysregulated nervous system shuts down desire, and why so many women end up in performance instead of actually experiencing pleasure.

In this conversation, Julie shares simple ways to begin reconnecting with your body, including awareness practices and what she calls pleasure mapping as a way to rediscover sensation without pressure. We also talk about fake orgasms, honesty in relationships, and how intimacy deepens when you start telling the truth about what you actually feel and want.

This episode is an invitation back into your body, where desire, connection, and pleasure can come back online in a way that feels honest and alive.

Connect with Julie

Website: https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.juliemerriman/

A free Gift The desire Fire Reset https://rebrand.ly/yuhuhuq

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Men's Coach and Co-Founder of The Undaunted Man, Geoff Laughton. We explore what's really happening for men right now when it comes to desire, identity, and connection, and why so many relationships can look fine on the outside while feeling disconnected underneath.

Along the way, we spoke about how Geoff's own journey through burnout, long-term partnership, and decades of working with individuals and couples shaped his perspective. Throughout the conversation, we explore how relationships move through different phases over time, how parenting and life stress impact intimacy, and why many couples find themselves disconnected after years of putting everything else first.

We also get into what he calls the "masculine dilemma," including how men navigate changing expectations, disconnection from purpose, and confusion about what it means to be a healthy man today. Geoff shares what he sees in his work with men around loneliness, people-pleasing, and lack of direction, and we talk about what actually helps—community, self-awareness, and reconnecting with both strength and emotional depth.

If you've found your relationship shifting over time, or you've questioned desire, connection, or how to show up as a partner today, this conversation offers a clear way to understand what's happening and how to move forward.

Connect with Geoff

Website: www.theundauntedman.com

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theundauntedman/

A free e-book called Solving The Masculine Dilemma www.theundauntedman.com/path

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with intimacy and relationship coach Marga Bardinski. Together, we explore how relationships evolve over time, how identity shifts through major life transitions like marriage and parenthood, and what it really means to create intimacy on your own terms.

Throughout the conversation, Marga shares her journey into motherhood and how it challenged her assumptions about identity, partnership, and autonomy. Along the way, Deborah reflects on her own experience of preparing for marriage after decades in partnership, unpacking the unexpected beliefs and conditioning that surfaced. Together, they examine how roles like "wife," "partner," and "mother" carry inherited meaning and how those meanings can be questioned, reshaped, or released.

In this conversation, Marga speaks to the importance of slowing down, listening to the body, and developing the courage to express desire clearly. She also highlights the role of conscious choice, whether in relationships, parenting, or personal identity, and the power of creating frameworks that support connection, curiosity, and growth.

Marga offers us a grounded approach using embodiment, communication, and the ongoing practice that is required to build intimacy that is honest and alive throughout a long-term relationship so that you can stay connected to yourself while building deeper, more authentic relationships.

Connect with Marga

Website: https://www.turnonnl.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/turnon_the_netherlands/

Newsletter: https://turnonnl.activehosted.com/f/93

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner, and speaker Darshana Avila. We explore why receiving pleasure can feel so hard—and what begins to shift when you learn how to come back into your body and your truth.

Along the way, we spoke about how her early experiences in marriage, spirituality, and sexuality led her to question the disconnect so many of us feel. Through her journey into tantra, trauma work, and somatic practice, we explore how identity, conditioning, and lived experience shape our capacity to receive, not just give, in intimacy.

We also get into how people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and a lack of felt safety in the body make it difficult to stay present with pleasure. Darshana shares what it actually takes to build that internal sense of safety, and we talk about how receiving is a skill you can learn—not something reserved for a lucky few.

If you've ever found yourself over-giving, disconnecting during intimacy, or unsure how to let yourself fully receive, this conversation offers a grounded and practical way back—to your body, your pleasure, and your power.

Connect with Darshana

Website: https://darshanaavila.com

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@darshana-avila

Connect with Deborah

Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/

Podcast Feedback [email protected]

Book a breakthrough session with Deborah

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

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