In this episode Toni is joined by Sober & Social founder, Emily Syphas. Once 'Head of Nightlife' for the world's largest concierge service, Emily went sober as a way to manage her mental health in 2018, but didn’t want to lose her (quite spectacular) social life, so used her skills and experience in hospitality to found Sober & Social in the same year.

She now organises super stylish alcohol-free events and parties, as well as workshops for brands and companies, and she’s a huge believer that going alcohol-free doesn't mean we have to miss out or compromise on life.

In this episode we discuss:

- How Emily started drinking problematically from the age of 12, and taking drugs from 17

- How drinking helped her escape from her dyspraxia and a neurodiverse brain

- The pain of the cognitive dissonance that comes when you want to quit drinking but you also think you love drinking and can't imagine life without it

- The growth that comes from discomfort

- Emily's many previous Dry Jans and sober stints, including signing up to church, running a marathon and juice cleanses as a way to keep her on the straight and narrow

- Why when it comes to self-care she believes there is nothing better we can do for ourselves than stopping drinking for an extended period

- How the micro choices we make lead to macro lifestyle habits

**NB there are a couple of swearwords in this episode - in case of little or sensitive ears**

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

• Tickets to the Dry Jan Sober & Social Mix n Mingle event in London (Weds 17th Jan)


• ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Sober & Social Website⁠


• @soberandsocial on Instagram

• Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on the Shelf Help Club App

• INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999

• SAMARITANS – 116 123


• SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

For this episode Toni is joined by Dave Wilson, aka Sober Dave.
Dave, 59, is a grey area drinking coach, a motivational speaker, host of the One for the Road podcast and a best-selling author of a book by the same name.
Dave got sober five years ago following a series of rock bottoms that culminated in risking his life while sleeping rough.

In this episode we discuss:
- The rock rock bottom that resulted in Dave getting sober
- How men take longer to admit they have a drinking problem and/or ask for help
- The concept of emotional sobriety and why it's so important to find out what's underneath the drinking
- The importance of changing up our routines and reverse engineering our triggers to set ourselves up for sober success
- The hamster wheel of doom that traps so many of us: a cycle of drinking to numb the chaos, which causes more chaos... and on and on...
- Different ways to regulate your nervous system
- Why we need to plan our not drinking (and how we're going into February)
- The loneliness of being an alcohol addict
- The questions to ask yourself to keep you motivated during a sober stint

**NB there are a couple of swearwords in this episode - in case of little or sensitive ears**

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

Check out Dave's Lives on Instagram ⁠@soberdave⁠

Tickets for Dave's ⁠Dry Jan 10k event⁠ (Sun 28th Jan)

Dave's website - ⁠www.soberdave.co.uk⁠⁠⁠

One for the Road Podcast⁠

One for the Road Book

Follow Shelf Help on Instagram @shelfhelp.club

⁠⁠Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on our Shelf Help Club App⁠⁠


INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999
SAMARITANS – 116 123
SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

In this episode Toni is joined by Millie Gooch, 32, who gave up alcohol almost 6 years ago after years of partying and hangovers started taking a toll on her mental health.
Millie founded the The Sober Girl Society later the same year (2018), and she is the author of The Sober Girl Society Handbook, as well as a mental health ambassador and currently a student - again - studying addiction and mental health.

In this episode we discuss:
- How Millie started The Sober Girl Society because it was something she needed when she first stopped drinking (and her friends didn’t)
- The depression and anxiety that led to her going sober
- Direct and indirect effects of alcohol
- The chemical effects of alcohol on the brain and the lack of education and understanding around this
- How who we are and how we behave when we’re drunk often doesn't align with who we ultimately want to be
- Owning your decision to go sober (your friends will smell any fear!)
- Dating as a sober person
- Disco as a sober person
- Detoxing our social media feeds at the same time as detoxing our bodies
- How Millie's life is still filled with a lot of party and a lot of fun without the booze

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

The Sober Girl Handbook by Millie Gooch
The Sober Girl Society website
@sobergirlsociety on Instagram
@milliegooch on Instagram



Drink by Professor David Nutt (book)
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (book)
The Sober Lush by Amanda Eyre Ward (book)
They Think It’s All Sober (podcast)



⁠Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on our Shelf Help Club App⁠
@shelfhelp.club on Instagram
shelfhelp.club website



INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999
SAMARITANS – 116 123
SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

In this episode Toni reconnects with fellow journalist, Ruby Warrington. Ruby is also an author, publisher and podcast host who coined the term Sober Curious in 2016 to describe the process of self-inquiry that comes as a result of getting curious about why we drink and what life might look like on the other side.

This conversation is a brilliant reminder of all that we have to GAIN by removing alcohol; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In this episode we discuss:

- Ruby’s 10-year sobriety journey from ‘cocktail girl’ to the queen of the sober curious movement

- How a Dry Jan in 2013 was a turning point for her drinking

- How she used booze as a way to medicate difficult emotions and situations, including family dysfunction and social anxiety (and why being able to feel crap is so important)

- That the only thing we miss out on by not drinking is getting drunk (and the importance of asking ourselves why we feel that getting out of our head is valuable or necessary)

- How removing booze will give you more time, energy, self-awareness, clarity and self-trust, as well as better physical well-being, better sleep AND the best support system for deeper inner work and self-discovery

- How to use Dry Jan - or any sober stint - as an opportunity to investigate what really makes you happy (and the importance of writing this down)

- How to ride out cravings with sophisticated AF drinks

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

• Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington


• Sober Curious Reset by Ruby Warrington


• Sober Curious Podcast by Ruby Warrington


• Material Girl, Mystical World by Ruby Warrington

• INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999


• SAMARITANS – 116 123


• SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

In this episode Toni is joined by one of her favourite authors - and humans - Shahroo Izadi. Shahroo is a Behavioural Change Specialist and the author of two best-selling books, The Kindness Method and The Last Diet.

Shahroo isn’t sober, but her work is all about helping people to create healthy new habits using kindness and self-compassion - and that includes supporting people to change their relationship with alcohol.

Toni chose The Kindness Method, as a Shelf Help BOTM (book of the moment) back in 2018 after it had a huge impact on her, helping her to make some major shifts in a once self-destructive lifestyle.

In this episode we discuss:

- Why sober stints are a great way to build self-belief

- Why shaming yourself into change doesn't work in the long-term

- The self-respect and self-trust that come when you start building evidence that you care about how you behave, even when nobody's watching

- How to set yourself up for success by anticipating that change is hard and getting excited about the opportunity to prove that you can do hard things

- Remembering that lots of the benefits of not drinking take a couple of weeks to kick in, so to give yourself some early wins by making a choice (or two) today that will make you proud tomorrow

- Turning down the volume on the way you speak to yourself as a way to avoid the F@CK IT button

- Remembering sobriety is a practice, and mastering it - like mastering anything - is chiefly about time in the saddle and doing something again and again until it becomes easier

- Making it easy to do the hard thing and supporting Dry Jan by making the month as lovely and nourishing as possible in every other way

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS

• The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi

• The Last Diet by Shahroo Izadi

• Shahroo's website www.shahrooizadi.co.uk

• Shahroo on Instagram @shahroo_izadi

• INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999


• SAMARITANS – 116 123


• SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

For the first episode of this series, Toni is joined by Bryony Gordon, journalist, best-selling author, podcaster, award-winning mental health campaigner, and founder of Mental Health Mates, the brilliant nationwide network of support groups that encourages people to get moving and talking.

Bryony is also 6 years sober.

In this episode we discuss:

- The moment Bryony decided to get sober, and how - after much resistance! - accepting the label of 'alcoholic' enabled her to get the help she needed and move forward 

- Why there's no such thing as a typical alcoholic OR a typical journey to sobriety

- The question to ask yourself if Dry January or any kind of sober stint feels/is impossible

- Booze for fun vs booze to numb

- How Bryony is working on her health and happiness today, and how getting sober has taught her she doesn't need to be constantly producing and achieving or to be the 'best' at anything to be worthy

- Why talking about addiction is the best way to move through any shame we feel around it

- Why she believes telling people to drink a highly addictive, legal drug 'responsibly' is bullsh!t

**NB there are a couple of swearwords in this episode - in case of little or sensitive ears**

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

• Glorious Rock Bottom by Bryony Gordon


• Mental Health Mates

• ⁠Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on the Shelf Help Club App⁠

• INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999


• SAMARITANS – 116 123


• SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258