"How could my life until that point not be the authentic life that I thought I was living?" - Lorna Little, Black, late discovery adoptee

With an impressive academic and professional background in social services, Lorna Little, MSW is intimately connected to the challenges and needs of families, particularly youth parents, youth in foster care and individuals impacted by adoption. Since 2018, she has served as the President and CEO of St. Anne's Family Services. In 1997, the professional turned unexpectedly - an unimaginably - personal.

"It's out now." With those three simple words, Lorna learned from her mother that she was adopted.

But only by one parent.

"Your dad is your dad biologically. But I'm not your biological mother."

A living family secret swaddled in the shame of infidelity, infertility, interracial romance and stigma took Lorna on an international search for the truth of her origins that spanned years.

Lorna's search is filled with so many twists, turns and moments of synchronicity that her reunion can only be called Divine.

Her memoir, Mum's the Word! (we love a good double entendre!) is not only a journey through family secrets and relationships; it's a map of sorts for other late discovery adoptees navigating their own healing journeys through what Lorna describes as the complex "blessing" of adoption.

This episode is like a movie, y'all, get comfortable and get into it!

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“I just want to get into some ‘good trouble’.”   - Ryan Hill, Black, same-race adoptee

For as long as Ryan could remember, he always knew that he was adopted. His mother was a social worker who also  worked at The Cradle, an Illinois adoption agency, for 10 years.  She would often hold him close and softly speak the words, “we want you,” into his ear.  Ryan felt special and internalized that he was “chosen.”  

While his mother was very intentional about demonstrating her love and support through open conversation, she opted to not have other family members to speak about adoption at all.  This left Ryan feeling “othered,” and unprepared with how to navigate being Black, male, and adopted in the all-white neighborhood in which he grew up.  The compounding of these identities brought about shame, feelings of abandonment and rejection, and ultimately depression.  

At the age of 13, Ryan’s overwhelming emotions had him believing that life was no longer worth living.  And while he didn’t make any attempts on his life at that time, the thoughts of suicide ebbed and flowed, even into adulthood.  Fortunately, he found the creative outlet of DJ’ing to assist him through challenging times.

Eventually, Ryan embarks on a search and reunion process to learn more about his origin story.  What he uncovers is enough to re-traumatize him!  Instead, he places himself at choice to fortify relationships with his adoptive family, accept the complexities of his biological family, and vows to unapologetically speak the truth in his advocacy for adoptees' voices to be heard so that they don’t become statistics.

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"I don't romanticize my suffering and my trauma and I don't allow other people to do it either." - Aretha Frazier, Black, kinship adoptee

Aretha Frazier's younger sister is her biological niece and Aretha's mom is her biological aunt. Aretha was introduced to the complexities of family relationships early in life, being born to parents who struggled with crack addictions in Detroit in the 1990s. She still vividly remembers the fear of seeing the two police officers who came to remove her and her two younger siblings from their home and from her biological mother's care. Their favorite aunt came to pick them up, and with a new home came a new name and a new relationship.

Favorite auntie quickly became a mother whom she learned to fear.

Aretha experienced unchecked physical abuse until the age of 12, but emotional and mental abuse by her mother continued. Her strict and controlling ways often went ignored by other family members who never let Aretha forget that she should be grateful for the good life, education and opportunities her mother provided. Aretha turned out better than fine; she became a successful lawyer. Wasn't life so much better than what it would have been if she'd stayed with her biological mother?

People tend to believe that intrafamilial adoption, or kinship adoption, is inherently all good and that is far from the truth. Aretha's story parallels many of the challenges experienced by those who are adopted by non-biological kin.

For so many years Aretha walked on eggshells, tip-toeing around her adoption to avoid the landmines of her mom's emotions. Today, she's using her voice and her story to help people interrogate their assumptions about kinship adoption. She proudly identifies as #BlackAndAdopted and we love to see it!

Clap it up for EPISODE 50, y'all!! Wow. This milestone was reached in partnership with YOU. Thank you for every listen, every share, every DM, every storyteller and every piece of support and encouragement. Cheers to changing the narrative one episode at a time! As always, LISTEN, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE!

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What happens when a happy-go-lucky Black boy with a healthy sense of curiosity is silenced by a secret from the shadows?  He retreats, hides, and

Coming to the proverbial BTTB stage for Season 4, Episode 49, is Poet Loschil (sounds like Lost Child).  Listen in as this Black MAN shares his uphill battle to decipher his parents’ truths from lies.  And while you’re tuning in, think about the impact of only having a “one and done,” conversation about a critical life-changing event. The closest that he ever gets to answers is through reunion with some of his biological family.  Even then, there are lingering clues that may never lead to a full understanding of his identity.

Luckily, Poet Loschil, begins to tap into his creative prowess. He credits writing and poetry with being the outlet that he never knew he needed.  It’s been his therapy, his rise from the ashes, and the vehicle to unmute himself.  His words are a gift and a lesson to us all that no matter what, Black adoptee voices are powerful and necessary. We will not be silenced.

Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 49.  Share. Subscribe. Leave a review.

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"I just believe that the plan for their life and my life is going to exceed everything I've gone through." - Michelle Senior, adoptive mom following emergency foster care placement

Less than a year after her son was murdered, Michelle Senior found herself unexpectedly caring for three children under the age of two. When people comment that she "saved" them, she's quick to correct them that her three "miracles" saved her.

Grief mixed with the overwhelm of unplanned motherhood and trauma from her past had her contemplating taking her own life.

Thankfully, she didn't. Although Michelle, instead, recognized the blessing in having more to live for - despite the challenges - this conversation dives deeper into how do parents care for themselves navigating personal trauma while also caring for traumatized children.

It takes more than love in either case, that much is for certain.

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There’s a price for freedom, and it involves doing your work.  For Regina, this meant moving from a place of being “ok” about her adoption status, to being accepting of it.  This was no easy task, because adoption was not discussed with her since the age of six, during an interrupted viewing of

After one critical event of begging a man to like her, she recognized that her unresolved issues about her adoption kept her from loving herself, and she begins working with a life coach.  This is pivotal for her as she begins to speak truth to power, openly acknowledge her adoption, and embrace

This story solidifies how secrecy, stigma, shame, and silence are detrimental to adoptees being able to fully, heal.  What’s an adoptee to do when it appears that society and adoptive/biological families express that adoptees should just move on with their lives and remain in the dark about where they come from?  How do adoptees receive adequate medical care when a visit at the doctor’s office feels disempowering if you don’t have

We have questions, and the answers.  Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 47.  Share. Subscribe. Leave a review.

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"Why didn't somebody tell me that I had fibroids? Even if they weren't that big, why didn't somebody tell me that I had them?" - Jamel Hicks, Mothering via adoption after fibroids + infertility

After having years of annual exams, Jamel Hicks was 34 years old the first time a gynecologist told her she had fibroids - several fibroids, to be exact. Not only was this news to her, she was also shocked to learn from her mother that many of the women in their family suffered with fibroids. Jamel remembers being about 10 years old when she helped care for an aunt who had surgery. Come to find out, her aunt had a hysterectomy. 

The women in her family didn't talk about those things.

Removing the fibroids set Jamel on a fertility journey that put a strain on her body, mind and blossoming relationship with the man who would become her husband. She started a blog, Maybe Mama, to chronicle her rollercoaster journey with infertility as a Black woman. After one round of IVF treatments, she clearly heard from God "no more medical intervention." 

For Jamel, adoption was not the last resort. Not being a parent was the last resort.

Life as a hopeful adoptive parent (HAP) meant first dealing with the grief of infertility. Today, there's no maybe; Jamel is mama to a beautiful baby boy. Her story is a reminder that #BlackFamiliesAdopt and they are "real" families, too.

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Reading through documentation from a half-baked adoption file is the only way to “jarg” Michelle’s repressed memories of her childhood. As she sifts through the notes that a social worker has penned, she learns that her early life included living in a motel that housed prostitutes and drug addicts. A line that jumps off the page of that report states “it is a great concern that she was allowed to spend the first three years of her life here.” This begins Michelle’s journey into the foster care system, but ultimately becoming an adoptee.

Throughout her time within the foster care system, Michelle endures unspeakable trauma. So much so, she becomes selectively mute. Ultimately, a new home is identified for Michelle, and she has a “resting place,” where she at least receives her basic needs, educational and mental health supports, as well as unbreakable bonds with the other children in her home that were fostered and then adopted.

The resilience and power within this story are unparalleled. It’s a testament to triumphing in the midst of tribulations, deciding for oneself that you won’t be a victim, and creating connections with people that are going to build you up and celebrate your “wins,” at all times.

Get into this nightmare turned beautiful beginning. We’re inspired, and know you will be too. Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 45. Share. Subscribe. Leave a review.

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"All I know is that I was left there and God brought me to where I was supposed to be." - Shannon Thompson, Black, Same Race Adoptee + Foster Care to Adoption

Brooklyn, New York. Early '90s.  Against the backdrop of fly fashion, music history-in-the-making and a war on Black families - errr, a "war on drugs" - , a newborn girl was abandoned in a hospital. Her emergency foster home in the care of a 52-year-old woman became the only home she's ever known. Shannon Thompson is a survivor and overcomer from birth.

While being adopted or raised in kinship care may be considered outside the "norm" by some, Shannon grew up in a community where it was more common for children to live with their grandparents. Shannon called Ms. Sue, her mother/adoptive mom, "Grandma" just like Ms. Sue's grandchildren did. Being raised by an older parent came with some challenges, and also came with love and an ally on Shannon's search for birth family.

Years of searching, including 23andMe and Ancestry.com DNA tests, came with dead ends, stalled communications, loss, grief, hope and God's faithfulness.

Shannon is clear that the abandonment that happened to her is NOT her. This future licensed clinical psychologist is owning her voice and her story, and intentions to use her experiences and studies to help children and families who share a similar origin story. YESSSS!

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. You can hear Shannon's heart in her voice. Take a listen, feel all the feels, share, subscribe and leave a review!

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"The Woman King," starring Viola Davis, is a box office blockbuster and to our pleasant surprise, it's also a whole Black Adoption story! Take a listen as we break down the many Black Adoption themes in The Woman King as seen through the lenses of two Black adoptees.

We're talking search and reunion, the liberation of the Black birth mother, the rise of the orphan, sisterhood, and of course the Three S's: secrecy, stigma and shame. 

We encourage critically watching/reading movies, television shows, books and magazines to understand how adoption - specifically Black Adoption - shows up in popular culture. 

Are portrayals accurate? Are you provided with a different frame of reference by being able to externally view these situations?  Is there an opportunity to rewrite the narrative? Do creators need to be called out for portrayals that perpetuate negative stereotypes? #DoWriteHollywood

These are all questions that we are asking ourselves and look forward to continuing REEL Talk deep dives into the Black Adoption Experience as seen on the big and small screen.

Video available on YouTube!

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