We're reviewing Deadpool and the newest release of Street Fighter V.

Mr Lionel Alphonse is back and he has multiplied. We celebrate the birth of little Elise, the new shiny, little superstar among us. Lionel, now babysitter to the stars – our very own Burt Watson – is giving us some insight into his new job.

Plus: Parenting advice from Nick and March 

Alright, it's a rant. Don't know what happened. Nick and March (mostly) go off at Telcos, retail in 2015, retail in 2016, movies (Troy especially), the gentrification of Kings Cross and crispy skin barramundi.

It's all jokes in the hate state. 

The guys from Red Boat Kung Fu visit Blow for a after work session to talk about MMA, traditional martial arts, what's not working on the street and how to land a lil strike every damn time without going to jail.

Seriously, this is 2hrs of martial arts rambling and if you're not training, this might not be for you. Well, we had a lot of fun with John 'the Kraken' Bagdanovich, Walid 'Shark-Gorilla' Kouatly, Toby 'the Wizard' and Mayur 'The Old Master' Chauhan.

There are a million ways to tell a story, but only one right way – a movie theatre fitted with Artmos 3D sound, 3D projection, 3 cups of coffee and 3 fingers in Selena Gomez' bag of peanut M&Ms. That's pretty much it.

Regardless of this axiom of entertainment we're discussing with strategic/creative advertising icon Frau Fricke, out of Barcelona Spain (http://fraufricke.com), whether or not a book can fuck with a DVD, VHS shits all over theatre, BluRay beats the tits off going to the movies or if Netflix is running a train on TV.

No one ever said media is supposed to be easy. Well, nobody ever said it should be such a fucking ball ache either. We're figuring it all out in this episode anyway.

(Nick had to be at some thing where you can eat meatballs, I think. He'll be back next week...)

We did see Star Wars and collectively think that Kylo Ren, aka Ben, aka Han Solo's son, aka Professor Snape, could've just wounded his dad a little instead of killing him and rendering him yet another Star Wars dead body falling into a seemingly endless pit of service tunnel something. Harrison Ford is killing it all (including himself) in this terrific sequel. It does feel like your favourite pair of slippers from the first trumpet and yet we delve into some of the new features of this part of the Star Wars saga, like good dialogue and discuss some of the upcoming movies as well as some advertising and other nerdy stuff only Lionel knows about. 

We're struggling to get to the end of the pre Christmas season. It's almost here, but not quite yet. The big gifting of 2015 commences when the fat guy with the round face and the big sack, JJ Abrams, eventually gives to us what we we've been waiting for ever since masturbating was invented. 

March is not getting any younger, that's for sure. We discuss the latest movies, games and print/production issues we've been facing. And there is cake. Happy Birthday!

Entertainment these days... am I right? What's left in the old realm of 'Holy shit, this is really happening'? Not much since 9/11. And even that.

Worst case scenario at UFC193 – Rousey got exposed.

David Attenborough – Lions on a Plane. 

6 tiny Chinese people and a heavy, heavy panel of glass – Manage your construction projects DIY.

Unfortunate – Sound issues until the 10:00 mark. Sorry guys. We're figuring this out.

Sausage causes cancer. Our foreign correspondent, March, has been on a trip to the motherland, Germany, to investigate what the WHO says is proven to be true for all sausage and also somewhat true, like a proof of concept, for even red meats.

What's left to eat if not other humans? Not much to be honest. Get a gun.