On 90 Day Fiance, Brittany and her shockingly logical friend go "girls night" in Jordan. Later on Below Deck, the ladyguests cat fight over a body shot and a jet ski ride. And as a bonus: Brian tells a riveting story of his almost being caught spanking it as a youth.

The Bravo Beer Bong is alive to welcome in the new season of Below Deck, led by Captain Lee! And on 90 Day, Ariela proves to be a horrible, horrible person, and Jihoon drops the line of the episode on us.

We wrap up Below Deck Mediterranean with part two of the reunion, where Jess' crazy is on FULL display, then pivot to 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way. Somehow Jihoon doesn't haul off and slug Deavon when she submarines him at work, and then Ariela runs away with a still-foreskinned baby. Oh, and it's Rico's BIRTHDAY!

We get anally JIHOONED on 90 Day Fiance, then find out about Brian's Dad editing gay porno, and finally get pretty bored with part 1 of the Below Deck Med reunion.

On part two of this glorious episode, we lament Chubby Bear's weiner going "un-Bugs'd," laugh at Jess and Rob's staying together and then dive headlong into the return of "90 Day: The Other Way." SURPRISE: Brittany can't stop lying.

It's Below Deck Med's Season Finale, and Cap'n Sandy Gives out some awards. And so do we! But first it's the culmination of the 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Tell-All, in part one of a two-part episode where we dive into the return of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way.

On our MONUMENTAL 20th episode, sponsored by Asuelu brand Hard Apple Cider, we break down the 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Tell All Part 2, and all the crazy ass sh*t Jess does on Below Deck Med.

North Korea's #1 Reality TV podcast is back with another amazing breakdown. On Below Deck Med, chef Tom's shit hits the fan...is it...TROMA? Get it? Then we break down 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Tell All Part One, with Colt's dick pics, Larissa's new tits, and Libby's family dipshits.

We have some fun imagining Rob from Below Deck as Kevin in "Home Alone," Andrei becomes a man on 90 Day Happily Ever After, and we find out Ashley's a scissoring sister on RHOP.

On 90 Day: Happily Ever After Colt barfs from playing hopscotch and Michael marries Angela's wrinkled smoker's tits. On Below Deck, Rob & Jess are the worst and Tom's a douche. And on RHOP, some progress is made in the Michael stripper boning scandal.