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Welcome to the taste of India... and Bangladesh... and Pakistan... and Nepal... Sri Lanka... look loads of places make the divine food known as curry.
The Brothers Deeney love them. Every Friday. Manzil. Bottle of Cobra. Garlic naan. Good lord!
Tikka masala, korma, bhuna, rogan josh, karahi, pasanda, jalfrezi, biryani...
My saliva glands are dancing.
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What's that in the water? That thing going up and down and up and down? It's... is that a monster?
No, it's the Book of Nowt podcast putting paid to the nonsense that is the Nessie industry. Cute as it is, some poeple take tales of a prehistoric monster secretly populating an Inverness lake very, very seriously.
We can be as cynical as we like, but it did set the scene for the 80s' masterpiece that was "Family Ness" so... not all bad.
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Covers used to be the cornerstone of a band's repertoir, now they're seen as a little bit lazy... unless you're sampling. In which case you can steal what you like.
In this episode, the lads go to town on the best covers in history. Is it Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley? Tainted Love by Soft Cell? Words by Boyzone? It's none of these.
We also address some of the biggest crimes against music ever to grace the public... and they didn't even write the things.
We appreciate you x
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Shut those curtains and shut up because we had a little drink about an hour ago and it's gone right to our heads.
Hangovers, eh? Karma? Nature's lesson? A body reacting to being poisoned? Who could possibly know? All we do know is that hangovers are brutal and only get worse with age.
There's no known cure, they dominate a weekend, they're horrible... so why do we do it to ourselves? Joe and Conal and Sazzie investigate!
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Charlie how your angels get down like that, indeed!
It's time for our two young heroes to give their two cents on the most famous person on planet earth.
Everything she does causes tsunamis across the globe, but nothing so seismic as being on a Book of Nowt podcast.
To put your minds at rest, we both think she's right good.
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Welcome to the Jungle! We've got fun and games. And that fun is our wicked podcast.
Hack through the dense undergrowth of podcast nonsense to find this jungle oasis of The Book of Nowt.
The jungle is disappearing all around us, so listen to this testament to it before it's gone forever.
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Don't. Look. Down.
Because then you'll struggle to correctly download our wicked episode on Alton Towers, the UK's favourite place in Staffordhire.
Conal kicks us off with a grim story about his dog's health and Joe tells us how he owns a Kestrel.
It's like queuing for an hour and then getting the really brief ride of Sazzie's quiz at the end.
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Yeehaw! It's time for bullets, beans, and buckaroo with the Book of Nowt's devasting insight into cowboys. The talisman of the American spirit, or romanticised nonsense... or both?
We don't come to any kind of consensus on this, so don't get your hopes up.
Expect more of the same brilliant features like 2 Good 2 Bad, Conopsis, and out quiz featuring Sazzie Kluvitse!
Whatever you do, don't break our hearts. Our achy-breaky hearts. We just don't think they'd understand. Rubbish that song.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/bookofnowt)
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What's the deal with amateur podcasts? Do they actually earn money from all this?
Not really, Jerry. Not really.
Ba donk ah doooooooong....
This episode comes at you bursting through the front door without knocking. That's right, we're talking Seinfeld: the show about nothing, about everything.
The Brothers Deeney aren't at their funniest here because they spend the hour quoting their favourite bits from one of ther funniest shows ever. So it is really funny, but this episode has been cowritten by Larry David.
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Wrap your coils around this!
The Brothers Deeney are confonting their fears and hypnotising you all with chat regarding a creature so maligned even god hates them.
Be it venom, constriction, or persuading people to eat apples, snakes have a pretty rotten reputation. We try to see past all this... difficult when Joe has a genuine phobia.
Slither into our DMs for more.
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From the publisher's feed
Two brothers think they know everything. It's meant to be funny.