The Bubbly Bibi

It’s not easy to heal after being cheated on—after all, everything about infidelity is powerfully painful. It doesn’t matter if it was a one-time indiscretion, a series of micro-flirtations, an emotional affair, or finding out your partner has a secret family. Whatever shade of infidelity you’re dealing with, it’s totally natural to feel a sense of betrayal, anger, and grief. There’s nothing like betrayal to throw your self-esteem for a loop. When your spouse betrays you, you are devastated. But, your devastation might pale in comparison to the hit that your self-esteem takes when this happens.

Infidelity is the worst of the worst when it comes to damaging your self-esteem. Even though you know it’s not about you, there are still society’s messages directed at you. Many people will whisper and wonder whether or not you were a good wife or husband and if your spouse cheated because of your deficits not theirs.

But, still this pales in comparison to the blow your self-esteem takes whenever you think of the other person. Thinking of the other person and how they were able to lure your spouse away down the rabbit hole really takes the cake in terms of self-esteem destroyers. If you learned about your partner’s infidelity while being quarantined with them, it may be even harder to come to terms with the news. In such close quarters, you may not have been able to grant yourself the physical or mental space you need in order to process the situation. But if there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s that being cheated is never your fault and your value and worth aren’t tied to anyone or anything. With time and patience, healing and loving yourself again are possible, whether that means with your partner in or out of the picture. Listen to this podcast for more inspiration!

Failures are necessary for success in anything...they are learning opportunities that will propel you to the next stage. Instead of saying "I failed at my marriage", you can say "I had trouble communicating in my marriage and am learning to communicate better now." The first statement is anchored in the past that cannot be changed while the second has an eye to the future and is more empowering of what you can do now. So, switch your mindset from being a victim to a victor.

When you feel like a failure, you see yourself as a victim of the past instead of focusing on your resilience and ability to spring back. Try to leave the victim mindset behind and view yourself as a victor after overcoming failures to move on to something bigger and better.

Imagine yourself as a young child, full of innocence and beauty. Keep in mind there is no such thing as worthless or failing babies and children. We possess the same worth that we had when we were born.

Sometimes we need to look behind the scars and wounds to see that preciousness is still inside of us. No matter how much we fail, our worth remains the same and we are still beautiful.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu. It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, this often leads to people worrying too much about what others are thinking about them. This kind of excessive worrying can have a negative effect on your life. It can be so debilitating that it interferes with your ability to feel at ease with yourself and around others. Do not let it prevent you from living your life to the fullest potential. If you find yourself looking over your shoulder, self-conscious, or fretful about how your actions will look to others, here's some help to stop worrying.

In this podcast, I give you some reasons why you should not care about what others think about you.

If you do think from time to time that you’re stupid or not as intelligent as anyone else, listen to this!

Do you say yes when you really mean no? Do you break promises to yourself or neglect your self-care? Is it hard to put yourself first? If so, it’s high-time to give yourself the most important gift ever: Self-Love. Self-love is your secret weapon to living a fulfilling life. That’s because your inner world creates your outer world. Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love and respect yourself. When you make decisions out of guilt, a need to please or to avoid conflict, you overvalue the needs of others and disrespect yourself. This conveys—to yourself and those around you—that you accept very little. That doesn’t feel very good, does it? Some people equate self-love with selfishness. But that’s not true. When you think this way, it becomes hard to take good care of yourself. Delete that limiting belief from your mind. Create a new belief that echoes in your ear: “It’s okay to put my needs first.” Repeat often. The good news is when you love yourself fully you feed your soul and become the highest version of yourself. It feels natural to take good care of your body, mind, and spirit. Love begets love so you’re drawn to give to others. You have the energy to give and in turn, giving energizes you. Everyone benefits. As cliché as it sounds, self-love is the gift that keeps on giving. And what’s more important than that? So let's see how we can boost self-love in our lives!

This Monday Get-Up-And-Go message: Be your best suitor. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you. Don't use all your pocket money on little gifts for everyone else... Start including YOURSELF! Don't save your best peptalks for everyone else and shrug your shoulders when you're struggling.

You're your lifelong companion, you are your first CHAMPION.

You don’t need someone else to come and save you. You can be your own damn hero, your own Santa. Be good to yourself.

No matter how indulgent or fancy the term may sound, self-care is crucial for our physical, emotional and mental well-being. You shouldn’t neglect self-care at any cost! In the Part 2 of the "The Art of Taking Care of Yourself" series, I tell you all about the importance of caring for yourself!

Self-care is something that many people struggle to prioritise. There's a misconception that self-care is selfish, but this could not be further from the truth. Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as others. When you practice self-care you produce positive feelings, which boosts motivation and self-esteem leaving you with increased energy to support yourself as well as your loved ones. Taking care of yourself starts with tending to your own needs. In this series, which will be divided into 10 parts, I'll tell you everything you need to know about the art of caring for yourself!

Check out this week's Monday Get-Up-And-Go Message: Say it loud, and say it proud: Me, me, me! OK, maybe you don't want to shout it, but it is that important.

Fitting in time for yourself is essential to do your healthy habits. Take charge of your health and happiness, and you'll lower your stress, become more productive, and have more energy.

You may think "it's all about me" is selfish. But consider this: Other people benefit from your "me time," too. Do things that feed you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and you'll bring greater patience and a more positive attitude to your relationships. You’ll become a better parent, spouse, and a more effective team player at work.

Why is it so hard for us to take time for ourselves? We tend to put our work, kids, families, and other responsibilities in front of time for ourselves. Putting “me time” on the back burner, is a big part of why we feel overwhelmed, run down, and frazzled. Lack of self-care can make us ill-equipped to handle life’s stressors.

People tend to see self-care as a luxury, rather than a priority. There’s this notion that if we take time for ourselves that we are being selfish, or perhaps, self-indulgent – well nothing can be further from the truth. This mentality can contribute to feelings of guilt, (and who needs more of that) thinking that we need to take a break from our lives, to do something that actually makes us feel better.

With all the challenges and changes we are facing now with COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to be kind to ourselves and make self-care a priority.