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Pastor J.D. shares four important things to keep in mind when responding to instances of sexual abuse.
Note: If you heard Pastor J.D. answer this question last week, please go back to make sure you also listen to “What is the greatest need in the American church?”
A glimpse into this episode:
This is an extremely important question, so much so that after becoming SBC president, the first thing I did was appoint a Sexual Abuse Advisory Group to lead our denomination. They have been leading in dozens of ways—one of the biggest is they’re developing a curriculum to help churches answer this very question. Churches should be a safe haven for the vulnerable, so we need to do everything we can to make our churches safe for survivors and safe from abuse.
A few preliminary thoughts:
This is just the start of an answer, but here are four important things to keep in mind:
This may be the least understood aspect of sexual abuse—it results in a huge loss of voice for the victim. Abuse is usually followed by threats not to say anything, and that’s usually what happens.
What you need to know is that the first time you hear about an instance of abuse, chances are the person talking to you has been carrying this for years. They’ve been terrified about what people will think. They’ve assumed they wouldn’t be believed. To speak up takes bravery.
Now, there are important responses and action steps after you hear of abuse. But don’t be so quick to rush to the action step that you forget your first response—listening to a person, made in God’s image, reveal one of the most hurtful experiences of their lives. Listen, listen, listen.
This is not a “Matthew 18” situation. This is a “Romans 13” situation. Because certain sins are not only immoral; they are also illegal. This is never clearer than in the case of sexual abuse against minors.
If you know of sexual abuse against a minor, no matter who you are, no matter who they are, your first response is to alert the authorities. Call CPS or call the police. You may not know all of the best next steps. But they do, and you need to bring them in. The safety of more children than you know may be on the line.
Statistics here are horrifying. Those who abuse minors don’t just do it once or twice. They do it repeatedly, even after they’ve been caught (if given the opportunity). So if you know about one case, you need to see that as dozens of more potential cases. This isn’t a gray area: Bring in the authorities.
We need to reject any understanding of grace that puts the vulnerable in harm’s way by giving abusers a chance to do it again
If someone has disclosed to you, that’s an honor. And you will have a key role in their healing process. But you need to know you shouldn’t be shouldering this alone.
Questions are going to come up—pretty early—that are best processed through a counseling relationship. So one of the best things you can do for a victim is to get them connected to a counselor. This isn’t a handoff—you need to remind the victim that you are still there and want to process everything with them—but it allows other people more trained in abuse care to do what they do best.
Conclusion: It’s a gospel issue
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Pastor J.D. explains that the gospel must be of first importance, both empowering and informing the church.
A glimpse inside this episode:
I actually wrote a book about this, called Above All.
In fact, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15 that the gospel is of “first importance.” First importance means other things are important, too. But this is of first importance. This means the gospel is what should characterize us
Is that really new, though? Aren’t churches already doing this?
Churches haven’t stopped saying they believe the gospel. But many churches are looking elsewhere for the source of their renewal.
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Feeling unequipped for marriage ministry? Woo Marriage is here to help. Backed by research and designed with your church in mind, Woo Marriage provides Christ-centered marriage coaching for your entire church. Get your first month free with offer code LEADERSHIP at WooMarriage.com/FreeTrial.
Pastor J.D. talks about the three kinds of faith we see in the Bible and how that faith is a gift in various ways.
A glimpse inside this episode:
Yes, but in different ways:
How do I grow and develop my faith?
Pastor J.D. shares four questions that are helpful to start a conversation with our atheist friends, neighbors, and coworkers.
A glimpse inside this episode:
Atheists have many questions for Christians. But they have to answer a lot of questions, too. For instance:
Blow the roof off approach (Francis Schaeffer)
What about origins?
What about design?
What about evil?
What about personhood and personality?
What about Jesus?
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Pastor J.D. explains why we both should and shouldn’t feel satisfied by our jobs because God created us to work, but our work here on earth is toil.
A glimpse inside this episode:
Yes and no.
YES, God created us to work.
NO, because it is toil.
I recently read an awesome article in The Atlantic, “Workism Is Making Americans Miserable.” This was a great line: “The modern labor force evolved to serve the needs of consumers and capitalists, not to satisfy tens of millions of people seeking transcendence at the office.”
This article is one of those where someone has a brilliant insight the Bible teaches as a core principle: the futility of making work an idol.
Our idolization of work (seen in comments like “Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” has produced a generation of dissatisfied idealists who can’t understand why they don’t spring out of bed each morning excited to get to the office. The Bible explains that this is the result of the curse—our work would become toil. Thus, I should expect that even in fulfilling, life-giving work, there will be days I not only feel unfulfilled, but downright weary.
Neither idle nor idol.
Resource: Good to Great by Jim Collins
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This Episode’s Sponsor: One of the greatest predictors of a disciple’s spiritual growth is regular Bible reading. That’s why LifeWay created the Daily Discipleship Guide. To download four free sessions of the Daily Discipleship Guide, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/DDG.
Pastor J.D. discusses the role of the family in the growth and discipleship of children and shares some practical tips.
A glimpse inside this episode:
God gave the home and family as one of the two “gospel gardens,” the church being the second. The ultimate job of parenting it to let go and to send out.
Studies show the quality of the relationship not the depth of instruction is the determiner. Sociologist Vern Bengtson says in his book, Families and Faith, that studies conclusively show that the quality of the child’s relationship to the father is the single-most important factor in whether the child adopts the faith of the parents.
But what does this look like practically in the Greear household?
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This Episode’s Sponsor: One of the greatest predictors of a disciple’s spiritual growth is regular Bible reading. That’s why LifeWay created the Daily Discipleship Guide. To download four free sessions of the Daily Discipleship Guide, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/DDG.
Pastor J.D. shares his advice for newlyweds and we share an important podcast update you won’t want to miss.
A glimpse inside this episode:
Be as committed to counseling after your marriage as you were before.
Enjoy the other as a gift from God but don’t let them replace God:
But realize that one of God’s primary purposes is not to make you happy but to make you holy
Regarding honeymoon night and sex, be prepared and lower your expectations. Be patient with sex.
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This Episode’s Sponsor: One of the greatest predictors of a disciple’s spiritual growth is regular Bible reading. That’s why LifeWay created the Daily Discipleship Guide. To download four free sessions of the Daily Discipleship Guide, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/DDG.
Pastor J.D. discusses why it’s important to remain rooted in your identity in Christ and look for the helpful truth, even in the most mean-spirited critiques, when you’re in a season of heavy criticism.
A glimpse inside this episode:
For me:
This Episode’s Sponsor: With Ministry Grid’s library of over 3,000 training videos, it’s now simpler than ever to train every volunteer and leader in your church. And this is training you can trust. Each Ministry Grid video features an experienced ministry leader who has been where you are now. Learn how to get unlimited access for you and your church at MinistryGrid.com.
Pastor J.D. shares how he makes time for reading (or working out or any number of other things) and other advice he’s found helpful to remain an avid reader.
A glimpse inside this episode:
Time is most valuable resource we have, and we all have the same amount of it. Every day you get an installment of 86,400 seconds and whatever you don’t use you lose.
First I start with the importance of reading. “Read or get out of the ministry.” -Wesley
Importance of daily rhythms. (Even in small installments, like starting with five minutes.) Even when you’re busy.
Big rocks:
Do the hard stuff first.
TODD: OK, but any advice about reading in particular?
This Episode’s Sponsor: With Ministry Grid’s library of over 3,000 training videos, it’s now simpler than ever to train every volunteer and leader in your church. And this is training you can trust. Each Ministry Grid video features an experienced ministry leader who has been where you are now. Learn how to get unlimited access for you and your church at MinistryGrid.com.
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