The Bureau

It's the last episode of season 6, and it's an action-packed one! Once the agents get a few mistakes off their chests, they try to break out of the Vault and escape up to Earth. But the agents discover that escape isn't so easy.... especially when there are teenage devils to persuade, key codes to guess, clingy girlfriends to dump, riddles for Casino to answer, and selfless acts to perform. Will they escape? And what year is it out there....?

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

The agents are still stuck together in the Vault, 24/7, and it's transforming them into different people... mothers and Don Drapers and Avon Barksdale types. Tense from being in the Vault for so long, the agents turn on each other. Each agent falls under scrutiny, and comes out looking suspicious, what with Kettle having shot Bobby in the last episode, Bobby having no past, Casino having borne the devil's child, and Corny's big, blank eyes. Mind games give way to pointed sidearms.... but, luckily, Mary's there, watching....

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

This week, the agents learn that kidnapping and interrogating a potential alien is harder than it looks. Since the previous episode, the agents have kidnapped George (formerly known as Michael), the Amazon deliveryman.  George avoids the agents' attempts to trick him, answers their riddles, and even withstands Casino's advances. His empathy helps the agents realize that they're not living normal lives anymore. Despite this, things go haywire, and let's just say that "little" Lucifer learns about death this episode.....

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

It's a big day in the Vault: Casino introduces her new son to the podcast listeners. She asks the guys for help raising the baby, but unfortunately they're not totally sure the baby should live. Meanwhile, Bobby's investigation is starting to point to Kettle as a possible alien, and we learn that Kettle's doctor is not a doctor. Both Bobby and Corny recount odd experiences they had going home, with Bobby's man cave now a she shed, and Corny's house now a ghost host. The agents agree that they feel safest in the Vault, and may just live there permanently.....

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

This week, the agent's come to the horrifying conclusion that time doesn't move at a normal rate when they're in the Vault.... after all, Bobby's suddenly out of touch with youth, Casino's missing issues of O Magazine, and Corny's mom is a year older now.  They try to focus on work, including Bobby's movie-related theories, Kettle's alien traps, and footage from the door cam. Plus, Mary the Google Nest witch has gotten into Taylor Swift, and the gang prepares the operating pool for the birth of Casino's devil baby.

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

After squabbling about chores, the agents share their updates. Bobby is uncovering patterns among the Blu-Rays, and Kettle is administering polygraphs on his days off. Kettle plays a tape of a session with Terrance Hardly, who claims to have been to Area 51. Plus: Corny joins up as Kettle's apprentice once again; Casino asks the guys if they've ever seen Rosemary's Baby; and it's Kettle's birthday!

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

This episode was recorded after another long week in the Vault, and the agents are not happy. They're thirsty, they have an unfair meal rota, the guys are treating Casino like their mom, and Bobby has developed some bad habits. The agents do a teensy amount of investigation into a strange catalog, looking for clues that it's for Martians, and hatch a plan involving the Google Nest.  But by the end of the episode, the agents have gone completely feral, and regress to talking about their favorite topic from episode one, their genitals.

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

It’s season 6, and the agents have been reassigned (demoted) to the FBI's UFO Unit. We find out that Kettle is also testifying at the Depp vs. Heard trial; that Bobby's still in therapy; that Corny thinks there's something odd with the Google Nest; and that Casino doesn't know what an Eiffel Tower is. The episode was recorded at the end of a five-day shift in the Vault, which is why the agents are so punchy and filthy, spending an inordinate amount of time describing their own, and each other's, genitals. 

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018

To record their last podcast episode of the season, the agents gather at Casino's house for coffee. The agents get an update from Bobby on his mental health, and the standard therapy he's done with Casino. Kettle then opens up about getting plastic surgery to make him look like an amalgamation of Dexter and Corny for his new undercover look. Casino plays a tape from her French/Jewish wedding day with the alleged murderer Chef Luc, which involved confessions, gunshots, cigarettes, stereotypes, wedding vows, and poems. The agents ask for their wedding gifts back. Lastly, Corny plays his recording, which captured his discussion with the Nature's Sunshine CEO Lula Pew and her two strange board members. This tape was weird. Kettle offers a toast to the season, then he and Corny leave Bobby and Casino to their safewords....


Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman.

Check out PodChef, a Top Chef podcast hosted by Jamal and Bryan! 

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018.

At an underground coffeeshop, punk baristas bully the agents for being uncool. Kettle shares a clip from the wire he wore at a Blue Lives Matter meeting, which turns out to be populated by a mix of Southern and Australian people. On the wire, we hear Kettle's double-undercover character tell the police supporters what the Black Lives Matters protesters are saying (to their dismay).  Kettle has another tape of an exciting hostage-taking moment, but it's in his car, so instead the agents audition to play the parts. Lastly, the other agents give their updates: Bobby's in therapy with Casino for his PTSD; Chef Luc's new signature dish is a wedding cake, and he's marrying Casino (in a brown dress and fishnets) next Tuesday; and Nature's Sunshine has both a booster shot available, and a line of condoms that raise the risk of pregnancy. Then, right before the agents leave the shop, a man with a gun bursts in, and all hell breaks loose....

Improvised by: Jesse, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman.

Check out PodChef, a Top Chef podcast hosted by Jamal and Bryan! 

This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish Panigrahi, copyright 2018.