The Calm Confidence Podcast: Social Anxiety and Being Yourself

This was another older video from Youtube that I never uploaded.

I spent a large portion of my life attempting to extract respect and confidence from other people, only to realize this is a loop that never ends. We spend so much time focused on what other's think is acceptable, that we don't pause to ask ourselves what is meaningful to us. I someone out there find this helpful.

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The worst part of social anxiety is not necessarily the symptoms, it's the how much it robs us of our life. In this video I discuss the effects social anxiety has on our dating life, relationships, work life and general satistfaction. Stick around to the end to find out how you can start turning this fear into motivation so you can finally take back your life.

Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:https://clinical-practice-and-epidemiology-in-mental-health.com/VOLUME/17/PAGE/224/FULLTEXT/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618515300414https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7028452/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6448478/

This is another older youtube video I never uploaded to the podcast.

In this episode, I explore what I think is the biggest mistake people with social anxiety make; focusing too much on improving social skills. Sometimes our attempts to become better at socializing perpetuates our obsessiveness and constant self criticism. Instead, let's focus on the underlying fear of rejection and embarrassment. Can we accept that sometimes we will make mistakes and make a fool of ourselves?

Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Another older video from youtube that I never uploaded to the podcast.

We often fall off our path out of fear of judgment from others and we forget the fact that our life is ours to live and no one else's. The irony is that the people judging us are often only judging us because they are unsatisfied with their own lives. After all, who has time to judge others if they are focused on themselves.

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This was a youtube video I uploaded back in February that I forgot to add to the podcast. At the end of the video I mention a follow up episode called "Depression Changes You." If you're interested in listening to that episode you can find it on the podcast homepage, dated Feb 10.

Forgiveness is never easy, especially when it's time to forgive ourselves. We forget that the person we were in the past is not the person we are now. We cannot torture ourselves for making poor decisions when we were not in a good headspace. No one makes good decisions well they are not doing well mentally. When we are suffering we make decisions that helps us survive, not thrive. Future planning is a luxury for those who are in a good place. It's time to let go and forgive yourself.

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In this episode I explore the role of negativity bias in social anxiety. We often believe we have an objective understanding of ourselves, when in reality our narrative shapes everything we see. In this episode I will challenge you to challenge yourself and your beliefs about yourself and the world. Maybe we've got this thing all wrong.

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https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Hertel, P. T., Brozovich, F., Joormann, J., & Gotlib, I. H. (2008). Biases in interpretation and memory in generalized social phobia. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 117(2), 278–288. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.117.2.278 Beard, C., & Amir, N. (2010). Negative interpretation bias mediates the effect of social anxiety on state anxiety. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 34(3), 292–296. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-009-9258-6Johnston, C. R., Quarmley, M., Nelson, B. D., Helion, C., Murty, V. P., & Jarcho, J. M. (2023). Social feedback biases emerge during recall but not prediction and shift across the development of social anxiety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 120(52), e2308593120. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2308593120

This is the audio from a short video I made on YouTube. Social anxiety can also impact our relationships. It can make us worry about where we stand with someone, if they are mad at us, if they like us, etc... These worries can sometimes lead to destructive behaviors (seeking validation and reassurance) that ultimately do more harm than good. In this episode I explore what can be done about your desperation so you can feel more confident in your relationships.

Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Social Anxiety makes us passive, but the more passive we are the less control we feel over our own lives. We hold onto narratives decades old because we have no new information to change them. If we want to change how we think and feel about ourselves, we have to change how we act first. Give yourself a chance to learn something new about yourself. Maybe you are not the unlikeable loser you have always thought. Maybe if you put yourself out there enough times, you can find people who like all the weird things about you. Time to get out of our heads and take action. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #lonely #loneliness

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Youtube episode: https://youtu.be/KZdJjPdUWQ0

Alcohol, unfortunately, can be very good at calming our nerves. I say unfortunately because this can create a very dangerous cycle. If we rely on alcohol to get through our social situations, we increase our likehood of having alcohol problems. We are also not addressing the fear of socializing at it's core. When we drink we are finding a loophole around the fear, which doesn't allow us to overcome the fear in the longrun. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #sociallyawkward Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2023, May 9). Alcohol and other substance use to cope with social anxiety. Spectrum. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/news-events/spectrum/volume-15-issue-2-spring-2023/alcohol-and-other-substance-use-cope-with-social-anxietyProtective Strategies Study Team, Villarosa-Hurlocker, M. C., Bravo, A. J., Pearson, M. R., Prince, M. A., Madson, M. B., Henson, J. M., Looby, A., Gonzalez, V. M., Henslee, A. M., Cuttler, C., Wong, M. M., & McChargue, D. E. (2019). The relationship between social anxiety and alcohol and marijuana use outcomes among concurrent users: A motivational model of substance use. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 43(4), 732-740. https://doi.org/10.1111/acer.13966Book, S. W., & Randall, C. L. (2002). Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use. Alcohol Research & Health, 26(2), 130-135.Hart, G., Panayi, M. C., Harris, J. A., & Westbrook, R. F. (2014). Benzodiazepine treatment can impair or spare extinction, depending on when it is given. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 56, 22–29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.02.004Skelly, M. J., Chappell, A. J., Carter, E., Weiner, J. L., & Gujar, N. (2015). Adolescent social isolation increases anxiety-like behavior and ethanol consumption in adult C57BL/6J mice. Pharmacology, Biochemistry & Behavior, 133, 7-15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pbb.2015.04.004Bisby, J. A., King, J. A., Sulpizio, V., Degeilh, F., Curran, H. V., & Burgess, N. (2015). Extinction learning is slower, weaker and less context specific after alcohol. Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 125, 55–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nlm.2015.07.014Rosen, C. S., Greenbaum, M. A., Schnurr, P. P., Holmes, T. H., Brennan, P. L., & Friedman, M. J. (2013). Do benzodiazepines reduce the effectiveness of exposure therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder? The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(12), 1241-1247. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.13m08592

Self-consciousness prevents us from living and acting freely in the world. When we are in a social situation and we become self conscious it becomes nearly impossible to engage in conversations because we feel we need to constantly watch and edit ourselves. In this episode I explore why we are self conscious and what mindset shifts and practical skills we can adopt to step outside of ourselves and rid ourselves of fear and social anxiety. Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Fistikci, N., Saatcioglu, Ö., Keyvan, A., Kalkan, M., & Topçuoğlu, V. (2015). Attentional bias and training in social anxiety disorder. Noro Psikiyatr Arsivi, 52(1), 4–7. https://doi.org/10.5152/npa.2015.8777 Arad, G., Azriel, O., Pine, D. S., Lazarov, A., Sol, O., Weiser, M., Garber, E., Bloch, M., & Bar-Haim, Y. (2023). Attention bias modification treatment versus a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or waiting list control for social anxiety disorder: A randomized clinical trial. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 180(5), 357–366. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20220533Amir, N., Foa, E. B., & Coles, M. E. (2009). Attention training in individuals with generalized social phobia: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 118(1), 159–170. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013643