The Captain's Log

Join us for the 8th anniversary retrospective, which we've now declared will be called a Grand Prix! Just try to stop us!! Kyle and Melissa gather for our annual pizza awards banquet for favorite Review Show topics, best performances, biggest surprises, and for the first time ever, a two-time Dream Date winner. We also debut a new structure for the Review Show and Captain's Log starting in 2024! Master of electricity Ignacio joins us for a rousing discussion on southern California theme parks, and we name our goals for the year ahead.

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Episode 262. Kyle shares some uplifting conversations overheard in an airport. Melissa brings us another historic moment of hot dogs in cinema. It's the final episode of the year, and we're catching up on movies we've watched recently, including box office hits The Boy & The Heron, Godzilla: Minus One, and Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce, and box office "huh?"s like Dream Scenario, Eilieen, and Silent Night. We watched Leave the World Behind and discuss how this fits into the style that director Sam Esmail established on Mr. Robot. Kyle dives into some Apple TV+ gems and Melissa provides a personalized recommendation for a live musical.

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Episode 261. It's that tomato time again! We continue our annual tradition of guessing the Rotten Tomatoes critics scores for upcoming movies from December 2023 through November 2024, our biggest and broadest list yet, covering major franchises, favorite directors, Oscar material, dumb fun action movies, sci-fi epics, musical numbers, and sad and sexy sports stories. Kyle attempts to explain the Borderlands video games, Melissa attempts to explain the horror hit Smile, and we both wonder what Sony is doing with their Marvel titles. We also reveal the scores for this past year's movies, who got closest, and who is taking home the prized "I owe you money for pizza" bet.

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Episode 260. Kyle recaps a vacation nightmare and explains the bizarre Marvel animated series Hit-Monkey, about a monkey that becomes a hitman. A regular monkey, not even the talking kind. Melissa is here for the depravity of Saltburn, Napoleon, and The Killer, as well as the nostalgia of Good Burger 2. Finally, we've both seen the millennial comedy goldmine that is Hot Rod! We note the intersection of F1 and Fast & Furious, adopt a football challenge, and look at our year-end Wrapped stats in Spotify and the platform's addition of audiobooks. Melissa has been listening to the Stephen King book The Long Walk, about teenage boys who have to walk across Maine or they'll die, which sounds like a joke premise for a fake Stephen King book.

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Episode 259. Melissa has made good on her years-old promise to finish watching Hannibal! She is free, free to watch bizarro horror movies like Infinity Pool, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, and Lamb. Kyle is catching up on everything from crime to superheroes to Canada's finest comedies, and admitting to being that person who buys 10:00 PM movie tickets. We list the rest of the 2023 movies we plan to see in theaters, hear about The Morgans, discuss some news on Marvel re-branding and re-directing, and finally, do a pocket Reactor Corps on the trailers for What If? season two and Madame Web!

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Episode 258. If you get lost trying to find your local Freak Festival, look for the nearest goth girl and she will light your path. Kyle is excited for the mundane experiences of a high-end cheese grater and truly noise-cancelling headphones. Melissa defends a dog accused of theft, and tries watching Rocky Horror Picture Show quietly at home and not in a rowdy movie theater for once. Finally, a pocket Reactor Corps on the trailer for Good Burger 2!!

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Episode 257. Your ghost hosts Million Dollar Grape and A Single Hot Dog are here for another Halloween special retelling Captain's Log anecdotes as spooky stories. Curse that fool Bob Chili and listen to our tales of monster truck invasions, corn blindness, human cocktails, a skeleton that grows faster than your skin, doing a Bloody Mary in a mirror but instead you summon a college kid who keeps pestering you with facts about Columbo, and the once and future Luigi.

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Episode 256. This week, we truly thirst for the taste of legend as we dig into urban legends from our states, which includes several wedding dress ghosts but no tuxedo ghosts. Melissa went to the Beetlejuice stage musical, and offers the deal that if Kyle goes to one play, she'll watch one Spider-man video game playthrough. We look at fictional characters who share our birthdays, and discuss DC releasing lost comics, pirate fashion, and our upcoming switch to a new RSS feed. Thrilling!

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Episode 255. Kyle likes Speed Racer, but doesn't like-like Speed Racer, not enough to take him to prom. He does like when F1 camera operators randomly zoom in on a butt. Melissa is reading old Stephen King stories (bought in a fifty-cent paperback from a rummage sale, the only way to do it) and watching news B-roll of mundane settings from the 90s. We also talk about Marvel reorganizing how they make TV shows, comparisons between sweaty truck-drivin' movies The Wages of Fear and Sorcerer, and pulp hero Clifton Strengths.

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Episode 254. We celebrate 666 subscribers, and look forward to the next milestone: 8,008 because it spells "boob." Melissa is Johnny Sodapop this week, bringing us Strawberries & Cream Dr. Pepper. Kyle fights a knob. We discuss anime references in The Creator, a Dragonball baby, big suit, grape head, the bird clap, and we attempt to brainstorm Halloween costumes themed to our podcast content this year. Ideas include: corn, sexy corn, and Perry Mason.

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