Show Notes Summary

Podcast Title: What Children Really Need: Attachment, Daycare & Divorce with Erica Komisar

In this powerful episode of The Centre for Healing Podcast, Melissa Hiemann is joined by Erica Komisar, psychoanalyst, author, and thought leader in the fields of parenting, attachment theory, child development, and divorce.

Together, Melissa and Erica explore what children truly need from their parents in today’s increasingly dysregulated world. This conversation looks beyond surface-level parenting strategies and opens up a deeper discussion around attachment, emotional presence, nervous system regulation, daycare, divorce, and the impact of a parent’s unresolved trauma on their children.

Melissa also shares reflections from the trauma-aware parenting work she and Tara have created through The Centre for Healing, highlighting the importance of helping parents understand not only their child’s behaviour, but also their own nervous system, attachment wounds, and emotional patterns.

This episode is especially relevant for parents, therapists, practitioners, educators, and anyone wanting to understand how early relationships shape emotional wellbeing across a lifetime.

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, author, and parent guidance expert known for her work in attachment, child development, parenting, and divorce. Her work supports parents in understanding the emotional needs of children and the vital role of secure attachment in lifelong mental health.

Erica Komisar: @ericakomisar https://www.instagram.com/ericakomisar/
Erica’s nonprofit: Attachment Circles - https://www.attachmentcircles.org/
Erica’s new book: The Parents Guide to Divorce https://www.ericakomisar.com/the-parents-guide-to-divorce

The Centre for Healing’s trauma-aware parenting course explores attachment, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and how parents can begin healing intergenerational trauma while creating deeper connection with their children. Explore the course here - https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/trauma-aware-parenting

Shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about meeting every part of yourself with curiosity and compassion.

In this conversation, we explore shadow work through the integrated lenses of Buddhist philosophy, Jungian psychology, Toltec teachings, and somatic therapy. The shadow is understood as the repressed, denied, or disowned aspects of the self—emotions, traits, fears, and survival patterns that often operate unconsciously.

Somatic therapy brings these insights into the body, emphasizing nervous system responses, felt sense awareness, and gradual capacity building for holding difficult experiences. Through allowing, curiosity, and embodied presence, shadow material can be integrated rather than suppressed.

Learn more about the Embodied Processing Practitioner Training here:
https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/embodied-processing

SHOWNOTES

In this deeply insightful episode, Ryan Hasson sits down with Rebecca Barnes from the UK to explore the profound transformation of motherhood through the lens of matrescence, trauma-informed care, and embodied healing.

Rebecca shares her personal and professional journey — from working in residential childcare supporting traumatised children to becoming a certified Trauma-Informed, Seasons of Matrescence™ Educator & Guide, and Embodied Processing Practitioner. Together, Ryan and Rebecca unpack the emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual shifts that occur in motherhood, and why so many mothers feel unsupported during this life-changing transition.

This conversation offers a compassionate and honest look at grief, identity loss, nervous system regulation, societal pressures, and the importance of creating spaces where mothers can truly be seen, supported, and understood.

About Rebecca Barnes

Rebecca is the founder of Becoming the Mother. She is a certified Trauma-Informed, Seasons of Matrescence™ Educator & Guide, and Embodied Processing Practitioner.

Above all, Rebecca considers her most sacred and important role to be being the mother to her four beautiful children.

Rebecca spent many years working in residential childcare supporting children with histories of trauma. Alongside her extensive study of matrescence, trauma, and nervous system regulation, she also brings lived experience through multiple matrescence transformations of her own.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

What matrescence is and why understanding it changes the way we view motherhood

Rebecca’s journey from hairdresser to embodied processing practitioner

The “Seasons of Matrescence” framework and how mothers move through emotional seasons

Why grief, rage, sadness, and fear are normal parts of motherhood

How unresolved trauma impacts parenting, relationships, and identity

The systemic gaps in support for mothers and families

Why compassion is more healing than judgment when working with parents and children

How embodied processing supports nervous system regulation and emotional healing

The importance of practitioners doing their own healing work 

Key Takeaways

Motherhood is not just a role — it is a full developmental transformation.

Many emotions experienced in motherhood are normal responses, not signs that something is “wrong.”

Healing happens when emotions are safely processed instead of suppressed.

Nervous system regulation and embodied practices can support deeper emotional healing.

Supporting mothers early and compassionately has ripple effects for future generations.

Practitioners who do their own healing work are better equipped to support others.

Resources & Links

Website: https://becomingthemother.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becomingthemother/

Book a call with Rebecca: https://calendly.com/rebecca-becomingthemother/30min

Why You Suffer

There are 2 forms of suffering in this existence of being human; Necessary & Un-necessary

We find the vast majority of people are stuck in unnecessary suffering.
So let's talk about it...

Presented by the creators of Embodied Processing, Ryan Hassan & Matt Kay.

Join us to discuss:

 - What is Suffering
 - Suffering and Trauma
 - Dissatisfaction/Deficiency
 - Craving and Aversion
 - Stored Suffering
 - NS states
 - Inner conflicts
 - Relationship to Suffering
 - Suffering vs Pain
 - Veils/Beliefs
 - Inner Unification and Resolution

Whether you’re working with clients now or are on a personal journey of healing (or both), this class is sure to add value to your life.

When we understand the body, the nervous system & its adaptations we can remove shame and create true transformation in our lives.

We look forward to seeing you in the class.

More info on the Somatic Therapy EP here: https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/embodied-processing

In this wide ranging discussion Daniel Maté speaks with Ryan Hassan & Matt Kay (creators of Embodied Processing) about the interesting dynamics between adult children and their parents.

Daniel goes in depth around the challenges and healing he has had with his father Gabor Maté. Also the need to move away from the term 'boundaries' and more into an attitude of working out what environment we need to create in order for us to thrive as humans.

It's a relationship dynamic that isn't discussed very much in this context. We hope you enjoy the discussion and can take some value for your own life.

Here are recordings of 2 Hello Again workshops facilitated by Daniel & Gabor Maté:
Hello Again 2016
Hello Again 2022

Get in touch with Daniel:
Walk with Daniel - https://www.walkwithdaniel.com/ 
Daniel Maté website - https://www.danielmate.com/ 
Lyrics to Go on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyRD8upUhMmCsiQvkFYKQlQ 
Daniel Maté instagram - https://www.instagram.com/danielbmate/ 
Daniel Maté twitter - https://twitter.com/danielbmate 

Interview with co-author of The Myth of Normal, Daniel Maté

Ryan & Matt, co-creators of Embodied Processing had the pleasure of recording a conversation with Daniel Maté.
Daniel is co-author with his father Gabor of the new groundbreaking book The Myth of Normal; Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.

In this wide ranging discussion Daniel talks openly about:
- Bringing such an important book to life
- How the book has been received & how his life has changed since
- What healing actually can look like on an individual & collective level
- His own healing process (involving a Mexican immigration jail)
- The strains & healing in the relationship with his father Gabor
- Whether we should be hopeful or pessimistic about our future as a society

We hope you enjoy the chat as much as we did!

Get in touch with Daniel & Gabor:
Walk with Daniel - https://www.walkwithdaniel.com/
Daniel Maté website - https://www.danielmate.com/
Lyrics to Go on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyRD8upUhMmCsiQvkFYKQlQ
Daniel Maté instagram - https://www.instagram.com/danielbmate/
Daniel Maté twitter - https://twitter.com/danielbmate
Gabor Maté website - https://drgabormate.com/
Gabor Maté twitter - https://twitter.com/DrGaborMate

In this powerful and paradigm-shifting conversation, Melissa Hiemann sits down with Dr. Tina Vitolo—licensed clinical social worker, rebel educator, and founder of The Black Sheep Therapist—to explore how therapists can ethically integrate spiritual, somatic, and alternative healing modalities into clinical practice.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite “fit” within traditional mental health systems… this episode will feel like a deep exhale.

Tina shares her journey of challenging outdated frameworks in the therapy world and reveals how practitioners can move beyond fear, confusion, and rigid rules—without losing their license or integrity.

Together, Melissa and Tina explore what it really means to be an embodied practitioner, how innovation happens in healing, and why the future of mental health lies in integration—not separation.

What We Cover in This Episode:

What it means to be a “Black Sheep Therapist” and why it’s a gift

The hidden limitations within traditional mental health systems

The truth about “evidence-based practice” (and what therapists often misunderstand)

Whether you can legally and ethically integrate modalities like:

Astrology

Somatic work

Energy healing

Breathwork

Why therapists fear losing their license—and what’s actually true

How to use informed consent, language, and transparency as protection

The difference between therapy vs. separate coaching/healing businesses

How to integrate alternative modalities within a clinical container

The importance of embodiment vs. just learning techniques

Why innovation in healing is essential for better client outcomes

You are licensed—not the modality you use

Ethical practice is about transparency, competency, and client choice

Evidence-based practice is broader than most therapists think

Integration (not separation) is the future of healing

Your lived experience and embodiment matter just as much as your training

Dr. Tina Vitolo is a licensed clinical social worker, rebel educator, and founder of The Black Sheep Therapist—a global community for clinicians who feel called to practice outside the traditional mold.

With nearly 20 years of experience in mental health, Tina helps therapists ethically integrate spiritual, somatic, and complementary practices into their work—without fear.

She is the creator of the Innovative Practitioner Accelerator (IPA) and author of The Black Sheep Therapist: Integrating Spiritual and Energy-Based Modalities into Clinical Practice.

Website: https://www.theblacksheepguide.com

Facebook Community: Black Sheep Therapists: Embracing Unconventional Practices in Mental Health https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1G4FWJ6oxo/

Instagram & TikTok: @theblacksheeptherapist

 Special Offer: Tina is offering a free ebook download of her book from April 13–15. https://theblacksheepguide.com/book-optin-page

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this solo episode, Melissa Hiemann — co-founder of The Centre for Healing and author of Root-Cause Therapy: A Method for True, Lasting Change — shares the story behind her new book, the methodology that took 12 years to develop, and why she believes true, lasting healing can only happen when we address the root, not the symptoms. From her own personal journey through narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, and substance use, to opening a clinic and training practitioners across the world, Melissa unpacks what makes Root-Cause Therapy different from conventional talk therapy and coaching — and why so many people stay stuck even after years of working on themselves. Whether you're on your own healing journey, already in practice, or curious about training in RCT, this episode is for you.

ABOUT MELISSA HIEMANN

Melissa Hiemann is a trauma-informed healer, certified practitioner trainer, and co-founder of The Centre for Healing — a globally recognised training organisation dedicated to bringing root-cause healing to practitioners and clients worldwide. Melissa is the creator of Root-Cause Therapy and the author of two books, including her latest, *Root-Cause Therapy: A Method for True, Lasting Change*. She is also the co-creator of the Trauma-Informed Manifestation Course and a Trauma-Aware Parenting Course. The Centre for Healing celebrated its 10-year anniversary in 2026.

LINKS & RESOURCES 

📖 Get the book: thecentreforhealing.com/rctbook

🌐 Find an RCT Practitioner near you: thecentreforhealing.com/directory

🎓 Explore RCT Practitioner Training: thecentreforhealing.com/

🎙️ Leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Guest: Stacey Webb

Author of Embodied Grace and creator of the Embodied Grace Card Deck

With a unique background as a former detective, Stacey Webb now guides individuals toward self-compassion, embodied presence, and intuitive trust. Her work supports people in expanding their sense of safety, releasing self-criticism, and stepping fully into themselves with grace.

Stacey is the author of three books, with her newest offering, Embodied Grace, inviting readers into a deeper relationship with themselves through softness, awareness, and inner support.

In this episode, we explore Stacey’s journey from detective work to the healing space, the realities of writing a book, and what it truly means to embody grace in everyday life.

✨ Key Takeaways

The reality of writing a book
Writing a book is a deeply transformative process that often requires more patience, resilience, and personal evolution than we initially expect.

What “embodied grace” really means
It’s about allowing yourself to be supported—by the divine, the universe, or your higher self—and expressing that through grounded presence, humility, and self-love.

Healing people-pleasing patterns
Moving beyond people-pleasing and weak boundaries often involves addressing deeper fears, such as abandonment and rejection.

The power of curiosity over judgment
Self-awareness rooted in curiosity (rather than criticism) creates space for real healing and lasting transformation.

Small acts of self-love matter
Gentle reminders, support systems, and daily acts of compassion toward yourself can significantly shift how you show up in your life.

📚 Resources Mentioned

Embodied Grace (book)

Embodied Grace Card Deck

🔗 Connect with Stacey

Website: https://www.staceywebb.com.au/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_staceywebb/ 

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode, Melissa sits down with Josie Cowley and Andrea Crabtree — holistic counsellor and social worker/therapist respectively — to explore why psychoeducation is one of the most powerful things a practitioner can offer their clients. The conversation digs into the real challenges therapists face when precious session time gets eaten up by foundational explanations, and how Josie and Andrea set out to solve that with their video series, Why Do I Feel This Way?

From nervous system regulation and subconscious patterns to generational trauma and the power of self-compassion, this episode is packed with insight — whether you're a practitioner wanting to deepen your work, or someone on their own healing journey trying to understand themselves better.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Psychoeducation changes everything in the therapy room. When clients arrive already understanding their nervous system and emotional patterns, practitioners can spend less time teaching and more time doing the actual healing work. Josie shared that when a recent client hadn't watched the videos beforehand, she felt the gap immediately — there simply wasn't enough time to cover the education and hold proper space for the work.

Co-regulation requires space and slowness. A rushed session affects more than just content — it affects the felt sense of safety in the room. When practitioners aren't scrambling to explain foundational concepts, they can slow down, attune, and offer the kind of regulated presence that is, in itself, deeply therapeutic.

You don't have to believe every thought you have. Andrea spoke beautifully about how many of us grew up in a culture that treats thoughts as facts. One of the most liberating shifts the course offers is helping people notice their thoughts with curiosity rather than being pulled into every spiral — not to stop the thoughts, but to build the capacity to sit with them compassionately.

Generational trauma explains so much. Josie spoke about how often clients carry pain that isn't even theirs — inherited stress, fear, and patterns passed down through family lines. Understanding this can bring enormous relief, shifting the narrative from "something is wrong with me" to "I'm carrying something that was never mine to carry."

Self-awareness reduces shame. A recurring theme throughout the episode was how understanding why we feel the way we do removes the shame around it. Our survival responses, emotional patterns, and nervous system reactions make sense in context — and once people understand that, healing becomes possible.

The course supports practitioners too. Whether you're newly qualified and building your language, or a seasoned practitioner looking for a fresh way to explain core concepts, the series offers a shared framework that works across modalities. It also now carries 10 CPD points with both the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) and the CPD Group.

It doesn't replace therapy — it amplifies it. As Andrea put it, this resource creates hope and reduces shame. It's a complement to the deeper work, not a substitute for it.

ABOUT JOSIE & ANDREA

Josie Cowley is a holistic counsellor with a Diploma of Counselling from AIPC, accredited with the Australian Counselling Association and certified in Crisis Support with Lifeline. She blends evidence-informed counselling with Root Cause Therapy, the Emotion Code, EFT, Reiki, and trauma-informed coaching. Before entering the counselling space, Josie spent 29 years as a hairdresser — an experience she credits as foundational, where the salon chair became a natural safe space for people to be heard. She lives in Ocean Grove with her husband, two sons, and five small horses.

Andrea Crabtree is a therapist, social worker, and former lawyer whose consistent thread across every career has been people. Certified in Embodied Processing, Trauma-Informed Manifestation, and Root Cause Therapy, and a Reiki Master with several years of experience in energy healing with animals. Andrea works primarily outdoors facilitating equine-assisted therapy, where her herd of five horses participate entirely at liberty. Having lived in both Honduras and Japan, she brings a rich cross-cultural perspective to her work.

Together, Josie and Andrea created Why Do I Feel This Way? — Exploring Your Inner World, a 16-video psychoeducation series available through The Centre for Healing.

LINKS & RESOURCES