The Change Paradox

Hey everyone…

When we started The Change Paradox, we had all sorts of aspirations. We converted most of my house into a sticky note bunker full of ideas! And while we haven’t made it to, “Invent practical flying car and do interview with James Taylor while flying it,” we are able to check off a box today.

What we didn’t want to do was just talk to change “experts.” We wanted to bring a broader view to the discussion of change. This week we offer someone whose very life, rather than their profession, exemplifies extraordinary change.

Credo Sinyangwe is the father of previous guest Sam Sinyangwe and our first guest in this respect. This unedited interview traces a full-circle life of synchronicity, generosity, and legacy, arching from a childhood in impoverished Tanzania to an adulthood and perspective half a world away.

This is a pretty special conversation for us. Yeah, it’s long, but don’t let that stop you from listening to this gentleman share his life, recorded, for the first time.

Thanks for showing up…

— Pete

Inspired by Sam Sinyangwe, Dodge leads us on a journey of observation and introspection.

Hi everybody,

This week we’re talking about Sam Sinyangwe and his gentle approach to advocacy by collecting and presenting data on police killings in the United States. This data is important, and we — like so many — struggle with the emotions the bubble up behind our efforts to stay rational, and so deeply appreciative of all the wonderful people who dedicate their lives and careers to public service through policing.

Thanks to you all for showing up and sharing a bit of your struggle with this stuff, too. We’re all in this together.

— Pete

Hey everybody,

First things first, do a quick check-in with yourselves. I’ve been watching the news, doing my best to stay informed from trusted sources, keeping safe distance from social media.

The pandemic isn’t getting better, and you might not be able to smell it yet, but there’s hope in the air. It’ll be a spell before we get any relief from this thing and we’re going to have to endure much on this road, care for ourselves and one another with grace and compassion. And after that, we get the hugs back.

So, hold steady. Be a light in the darkness. Acknowledge the hard, and do your best to be the easy for others.

We have a light on the show today. And he happens to be a trusted source, too. His area of expertise is the other pandemic, the one that comes in and out of focus in striking competition with the disease state we’re living through. For our guest, it started with a big question: how many people have been killed by police?

If you visit the ultimate fruit of his labor, MappingPoliceViolence.org, you’ll find that in 2020, our police have killed 986 people in our country. It’s shocking, then, to hear that prior to Mapping Police Violence and the team’s efforts to collect this data, there was no effort on behalf of our national leaders to collect or report it themselves.

The man behind the project is Sam Sinyangwe. He’s a data scientist and policy analyst and in addition to Mapping Police Violence, he also founded Campaign Zero and the Police Scorecard. He’s a PolicyLink vet where, according to his official bio, “he worked to connect 61 federally-funded communities to research-based strategies to build cradle-to-career systems of support for low-income families. He has also helped city leaders, youth activists and community organizations develop citywide agendas to achieve quality education, health, and justice for young black men.

Why his pivot to policing, and presenting municipalities with data that serves to change behavior? “If we can’t live, we can’t learn,” he says.

Our deep thanks to Sam for his time to sit down with Dodge and present the data. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work.

— Pete

An exercise that proposes: if it's not your gift, it's not your job.

Hi everybody,

This week we’re talking a bit about Thanksgiving — for those who celebrate it — and that serves as an ironic distraction giving our primary subject matter this week. We get to the ADHD stuff, however, so stick around!

We talk about the paradoxical nature of changing yourself around that which we cannot change, some controversial voices in the field of ADHD, working with a coach versus a therapist, and the gift of recognizing your gifts.

Cheers to all of you. We couldn’t do this show without you. Well... we could, but it would be horrendously boring. You make it better, brighter, and more fulfilling than we could have imagined. We’re so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you.

— Pete

Hey everybody...

Do you remember that old Seinfeld episode? World’s Collide? George is dating Susan, and Elaine needs a new friend, so Jerry recommends that Elaine call Susan, and thus, according to Kramer and George, worlds collide.

That’s pretty much today on the show—first, a little background.

In addition to The Change Paradox, which I adore, I’ve served as co-host of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast with Nikki Kinzer for about ten years. Nikki’s an ADHD coach and we’ve been through a bunch together over the years. Oh... and I have ADHD.

ADHD is a funny thing. For those of us who’ve lived with a diagnosis for a while, especially if diagnosed as adults, it answers many questions about our lives. It certainly did for me. But ADHD is one of those conditions that is never really fixed. It’s not cured. Your ability to navigate the world with ADHD successfully is determined by the degree to which you are able to change your behavior to accommodate it. That’s hard to swallow.

I connected Dodge and Nikki because the three of us, in some combination, have all had this conversation at one point or another. And now, I’m here, introducing two of my favorite people, talking about a subject that is incredibly important to me, and I’m not supposed to speak. Who makes these rules?

Anyhow, you can probably guess that I’m a big fan of Nikki. I love working with her, and I love the work she does to support others just as much. You can find out more about her, her coaching for adults and college students, and her groups at takecontroladhd.com. As for the podcast, you can find all the links to subscribe right here if you’re interested in checking that out.

Thanks to Nikki for taking the time to sit down with Dodge. And thanks to you all for your commitment to the work.

— Pete

Links & Notes

• Thinking you'd like to learn more about ADHD? Nikki recommends reviewing the resources provided by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). The association provides fantastic resources for learning more about ADHD.

A partner exercise in Gestalt exploration for breaking stuck patterns and engaging change.

Hi everybody,

This week we’re talking a bit about COVID (and healing from it), panic attacks and our evolving self-talk. All of that comes form our conversation with Carleen, and her grace in thinking so deeply about what she shared with us in her conversation last week.

This episode hits square in the bull’s eye of the paradoxical nature of change. This week we try to lean in.

Cheers to all of you,

— Pete

Hey everybody,

You doing OK? I only ask because, you know, we’re in the middle of quite a spell right about now and it’s important that we take care of ourselves and each other and... you’re all pretty great for showing up and we appreciate you, I guess. So, we hope you’re all right today and that the weight of the universe is light upon your shoulders.

I had a rough weekend, if you don’t mind my saying. Have I told you about the COVID? Well, we had a visit back in July and the recovery process is long. So, this weekend I find myself staring square in the face of my old friend anxiety and his pal panic and ... well... things fall apart. We’ve all been there, right?

As I clawed my way back to daylight, I found myself running through some new language, like, a script I’d heard but never read. They were words of navigation more than bland encouragement and the more I repeated them, the more control I found...

Here’s the big reveal: I didn’t see it coming, but in my exhausted daze, I had somehow managed to internalize the words of this week’s guest.

Her name is Carleen Britton and she’s a clinical social worker in Nashville. She’s here to teach us about Gestalt Therapy. Get ready, because Carleen is a superb educator and gives us a clear description of Gestalt practice, how it differs from other interventions, and then caps it off with an exercise that starts as an angry conversation with what might as well have been the robot in my phone, and ends with a gift of self-talk the likes of which I’ve never quite experienced.

Our great thanks to Carleen for her time to sit down with Dodge and educate us all. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work.

— Pete

Links & Notes

• The Gestalt Institute of Cleveland