The Chris Abraham Show

The Chris Abraham Show

By Chris AbrahamComedy
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The Chris Abraham Show episodes

  • ChrisCast S2E19: The UPS does House Calls

    I never knew that! You learn something new every day! $6.90 was a a fair convenience fee for me to be able to have my package picked up from the cafe I work from, Idido's Social House and Cafe—and it's not even my place of business or home!

    10 min
  • ChrisCast S2E18: Kit Bags are Kool!
    Who would have thought that the kit bag I have been wearing on my chest since 2014 would become the basis for a super trend in the hip hop community.
    Hip hop calls them chest rigs and they're the coolest. But they were the opposite of cool when I started using them. But now, am I cool? Naw!
    Over the last couple-few years I haven't gone for a run without wearing my Hill People Gear Snubby Kit Bag on my chest. For me, it's how I like to carry my personal stuff when I am on a run, race, or jog.
    Over the last couple-few years I haven't gone for a run without wearing my Hill People Gear Snubby Kit Bag on my chest. For me, it's how I like to carry my personal stuff when I am on a run, race, or jog.
    It's kind of a unique bit of kit. It's a harness that securely holds a small, two-pocket, 500D Cordura, bag to my chest. It's always accessible and it never jostles or jounces.
    The only thing I have against it is that nobody else wears anything like this when they run so the little pack stands out. It's different enough that people ask about it.
    I never know where to put my wallet, keys, and phone when I run. I tried SPIbelts and still love them but I was looking for something that kept my stuff both immediately available and also close enough that Bluetooth can clearly transmit from my phone to my wireless Bluetooth headsets.
    33 min
  • ChrisCast S2E14: An Introduction to Spin
    1. Your instructor is there to help you. If you're having a hard time with your clipless pedals or how to set up your bike or any other questions you have... this is an interactive fitness class and your instructor wants to be as helpful to you as a yoga instructor is or a personal instructor is. Be sure to get to class early because it's easier to get the help you need before and after class than during.
    2. Your ride is your own and you're never obligated to race, to compete, to follow all the commands of standing, sitting, pressing, and the upper body or weights workouts.
    3. If you workout is so hard that you leave your spin class hating it and never wanting to come back, you're doing it wrong. Rule number one is to have fun!
    4. Always aim to arrive 15-minutes early even if you've already booked a bike
    5. When it comes to attending class, 15 minutes early is on time; on time is late; and more than 5-minutes late forfeits your class.
    6. People are gross so it's OK to discretely blow your nose or spit into the towels that are provided at your bike as they're laundered immediately after class.
    7. Spin class might feel like crew practice (many Spin instructors are little and loud like coxswains) or Basic Training (other trainers can look and act like Drill Instructors) but you don't actually have to comply with any of their orders.
    8. Each ride is scientifically designed to exhaust you, at your level, and to motivate you to put as much energy and force into only 45-60 minutes as possible using something called HIIT (high-intensity interval training) which is why each workout is a series of intense sprints or climbs or heavy pedaling separated with lower-intensity rest periods and even some stead state pedaling and recovery time.
    9. While it feels like a night at the disco club, with all the music and lights, these classes are designed to challenge the limits of your fitness, endurance, and conditioning. The pop and disco music and the lights and challenges are fun distractions to keep you motivated and distracted from how hard you're working.
    10. I wore over-shorts and over-pants over my bike shorts for weeks until I realized that I should be focusing on my ride more than hiking up sweats that were either falling down or getting caught on the saddle. I drop trou right before I get on the bike and just ride with my stretchy Pearl iZUMi bib shorts with awesome chamois padding. I mean, I am still shy about it and put the sweats back on right after stretching, but life's too short to not get the most of the class. Besides, nobody has shunned me for showing my bottom in stretchy pants to my face, so I assume everyone in the class is in this together.
    11. I try to wear sound-reducing earplugs every time I ride for two reasons: one, the music can be very loud; and two, I find that the foam earplugs I use make it easier for me to understand what the instructor is saying over their mic. For whatever reason, the earplugs take out the biggest noise and make the instructor's instructions a lot more comprehensible to me as I ride as opposed to distorted and mixed up with the bass-heavy music.
    12. Finally, every spin class I have ever been to has been supportive and fun and friendly and as hard or as easy as I made it.
      13. 40 min
    13. ChrisCast S2E13: Spin Goddess

      I committed an unlimited month and aim to continue into the future. I just checked on the Cyclebar app and I haven't been a rider at Cyclebar Columbia Pike since Wed, May 1st, 2019—more than a year! Since I have been away for so long, I was offered a month of unlimited for only $119 so I jumped on board. I will continue to ride there after this discount month for retail because I really want to support Martina and the Cyclebar Columbia Pike family during these times of the Coronavirus Pandemic. I want to make sure I pay for my seat because there are so many fewer seats per-class, per-session, because of social distancing. So, starting tomorrow, I will be riding every day; however, I am going to try to follow the maffetone method while I am there and make sure I give myself the entire month to really train my aerobic and anaerobic system to become used to spin and indoor cycling, so I will aspire not to kill myself through mad, mad, mad, competitive, sprinty, Chris. Instead, I will just make sure I use the motivation of buying a seat in a class where I must not take a water break but must spend at least 45-minutes on the saddle in-a-row once-a-day.

      32 min
    14. ChrisCast S2E13: Defund and Disband the Police and Get Private Goon Squads like the Brazil and Bangladesh
      The direct result of defunding the police with result in policing going private, like it is in the rest of the world that's not Western Europe or the Nordic Countries. Even in Russia, Brazil, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Mexico, etc, etc, most homes and neighborhoods and schools and hospitals of any note and quality have poached all the best doctors, police, teachers, etc, to become part of "rich only" private schemes, neighborhoods, condos, and gated communities (and entirely private, gates, cities, the type that are all over China). The movie Hotel Artemis suggests that this is as close as happening in places like Los Angeles in 2028 or sooner (and that even results in the richest criminals needing to have their own membership-only hospitals for when they get shot or injured⁠—away from the prying eyes of the cops and the doctors who tend to report bullet wounds). 
      "As rioting rocks Los Angeles in the year 2028, disgruntled thieves make their way to Hotel Artemis -- a 13-story, members-only hospital for criminals. It's operated by the Nurse, a no-nonsense, high-tech healer who already has her hands full with a French assassin, an arms dealer and an injured cop. As the violence of the night continues, the Nurse must decide whether to break her own rules and confront what she's worked so hard to avoid."
      This probably already exists. 
      Here are some links:
      Private Security - VICE
      Hotel Artemis (2018) - IMDb
      Hotel Artemis - Wikipedia
      Hotel Artemis (2018) - Rotten Tomatoes
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      3 min

    About The Chris Abraham Show

    From the publisher's feed

    tl:dr: Just a 55-year-old cisgender white male mansplaining his own self-importance. But good.