What happens when conflict between two people pulls a third person into the middle?

In this episode of The Coach and the Counselors, DaMarcus Morton sits down with clinical mental health counselor and relationship coach Joseph Coston to explore triangulation—how bringing another person into a relationship dynamic can either provide healthy support or make the situation worse.

They discuss the difference between healthy and unhealthy triangulation, the role of friends and family in relationship conflicts, and what happens when children become caught in the middle of adult problems.

The conversation also explores enmeshment, parentification, people-pleasing, overachievement, and the family roles we can carry into adulthood.

In this episode:

• What triangulation is and why it happens
• Healthy vs. unhealthy support
• When validation becomes co-signing
• How children can become caught in family conflict
• The long-term impact of childhood family roles
• How to recognize and break unhealthy patterns
• Practical ways to set healthier boundaries

Guest: Joseph Coston, Clinical Mental Health Counselor & Relationship Coach with Certifications in Child and Adolescent Psychology and Attachment Theory.

Social Media: IG/Tiktok @somakeitmakesense

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

Today, we are tackling two of the hardest things to rebuild after addiction: Trust and Boundaries. DaMarcus addresses a listener who feels they have zero right to tell people how to treat them and doesn't trust themselves yet. DaMarcus unpacks the truth that Boundaries aren't about punishment; they are about preservation. He reveals how trust isn't a magic switch—it’s a measurement.

When you come into recovery, it's not uncommon to feel like you’re in the "debt" column of life, feeling like you lost your right to have a voice. This episode shows you how to prioritize your wellness so you can eventually be there for them.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The critical difference between all-or-nothing trust and treating trust as a measurement of trustworthiness.
• The three criteria for measuring trust: Reliability, Knowledge, and Integrity.
• Why the feeling that you can’t set a boundary is Shame talking, and why a boundary is a gate to keep you safe.
• How to rebuild self-trust by keeping small promises and building a track record, rather than just deciding to trust yourself.
• How to shift your mindset from demanding respect to protecting your recovery.

Reflection Question: What are your three essential criteria for trust (e.g., Consistency, Honesty, Kindness), and which relationships need their expectations adjusted based on this framework? 

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

This week, we dive into the listener question: "You talk about cultural healing. As a Black person in recovery, I feel like I’m supposed to ‘tough it out’ or I’m seen as weak if I talk about my past trauma. How do I start the healing process when it feels like I’m disrespecting people I love?” 

DaMarcus breaks down the concept of the Cultural Survival Code and reveals why what once kept us safe now can keep us stuck.

When your internal belief is that silence is strength , your subconscious will prevent you from sharing your pain because you can’t heal what you keep hiding.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How the "Cultural Code" uses phrases like "What goes on in this house, stays in this house" to teach us to hide pain instead of heal it.
• The critical difference between silence (which is not strength) and honesty (which is real strength).
• The two-step process to break the cycle: Unlearn the Code and Rewrite the Code.
• How to use the practical framework: Name it, Claim it, Express it to begin challenging those old rules.
• The Antidote for Silence: Connection is the foundation of recovery , and generational healing starts when somebody decides the code stops with them.

Reflection Question: What code have I been living by that no longer serves me? 

Next Week: We’ll dive into the challenge of building trust and setting boundaries in recovery, and explore strategies for creating healthier connections with yourself and others.

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

Self-sabotage is one of the most painful and confusing experiences in recovery, but as Coach DaMarcus Morton explains, it's not a behavior—it's a program.

This week, we dive into the listener question: "I get sober, I start doing well, and then I destroy it. How do I stop self-sabotaging my recovery?" 

DaMarcus breaks down the concept of the Worthiness Gap and reveals why you can have high Self-Confidence(what you do) but low Self-Esteem (who you are). 

When your internal belief is that you don't deserve a good life, your subconscious will try to destroy the life your confidence helped you build, preferring familiar suffering over unfamiliar peace.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How the "Unfamiliarity Trap" makes success feel like a threat to your subconscious mind.
• The critical difference between Self-Confidence (competence) and Self-Esteem (worthiness).
• The two-step process to break the cycle: Identify the Worthiness Gap and implement Cognitive Restructuring.
• How to write a counter-program for your brain by creating personal affirmations, like "I’ve succeeded every time I’ve taken a leap—this is just the next one".

The Antidote for Unworthiness: Start writing a new story today. It takes at least 66 days of consistent repetition to form a new neural pathway—begin the work now.

Reflection Question: What is the toxic belief your subconscious activates when you’re about to reach a major goal in recovery? 

Next Week: We address the emotional reality of recovery in the Black community: “How do I start the healing process when it feels like I’m disrespecting people I love?”

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

In this episode, Coach DaMarcus Morton answers the most fundamental question he receives: "I'm already sober, so why do I need to focus on my mind instead of just staying away from drugs and alcohol?".

DaMarcus shares his powerful personal story, detailing his upbringing in a difficult environment defined by chaos and trauma in Akron, Ohio. He explains that even after finding a passion for helping others, the death of his alcoholic father at age 19 triggered his own self-destructive behaviors. He realized he was unknowingly repeating the very patterns he'd observed in his childhood.

This experience highlights the core truth: It's not enough to focus on external behaviors; if you don't focus on the internal programming, relapse is only a matter of time.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why your mindset is simply the collection of patterns, programs, and beliefs deposited into your subconscious during the highly impressionable ages of zero to seven.
• How trauma, even the smaller, cumulative kind, often leads to the two most common limiting beliefs: "I’m not good enough" (wrapped in the fear of failure) and "I won’t be loved" (wrapped in the fear of rejection).
• How your subconscious runs an autopilot programs (neural pathways) that keeps delivering the same negative results unless you change the core belief.

The Three Keys to Building a Lasting Foundation in Recovery:

1. Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize the program you're running in real-time to choose a different response.
2. Self-Confidence: Your overall attitude about what you can accomplish; it dismantles the "I'm not good enough" belief.
3. Self-Esteem: How you feel about your value and worth; high confidence and low self-esteem is a recipe for self-sabotage.

Reflection Question: What is the behavior you most want to change right now, and where did you first see that exact behavior being used by someone else when you were a young person?. That link is the first step toward Self-Awareness.

Next Week: We tackle the next challenge of the Worthiness Gap: self-sabotage. The question we'll answer is, "I feel like I'm just not worthy of a good life. How do I stop self-sabotaging my recovery?".

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

In this powerful episode of MINDSET FOR RECOVERY, DaMarcus Morton shares his life story, beginning with his upbringing in Akron, Ohio—a city deeply intertwined with addiction and recovery. Raised in challenging circumstances, DaMarcus faced family issues, abandonment, and personal struggles with anger and depression. Despite these obstacles, he found solace in community service and built a meaningful career in youth services and addiction counseling.

With over 10 years of success as a recovery and mindset coach, DaMarcus has helped countless individuals navigate their healing journey. His path of self-discovery, healing, and service led him to work in various treatment centers and ultimately run his own group coaching program.

DaMarcus’s story is a testament to resilience, transformation, and the enduring power of purpose.

00:00 Growing Up in Akron: A Childhood Surrounded by Addiction

00:51 Family Struggles and Early Trauma

03:01 Finding Purpose Through Work and Education

05:27 A New Beginning in Seattle

08:12 Rediscovering Faith and Self-Worth

09:30 A Fresh Start in Los Angeles

10:04 Embracing a Career in Addiction Counseling

11:26 Building a Dream: From Employee to Entrepreneur

12:10 Conclusion: Learning, Healing, and Serving

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

You’re listening to a powerful, uncensored story that goes straight to the part of recovery that isn't often discussed: the moment you realize you’ve hurt people, and you still have to find a way to forgive yourself and move forward.

In this session, we hear from Pri, who opens up about a devastating relapse that began as an act of service to his family, and ended in a chaotic rock-bottom moment in a Dominican jail cell. His story shows you what happens when you try to substitute instead of surrender.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The dangerous reality of Cross-Addiction: How a different substance can still activate the same reward system circuitry in your brain that was originally trained by the first drug, restarting the entire cycle.
• Why anger and guilt often emerge after the substance is gone, and how that intense emotional energy lives under the surface.
• The ultimate mindset shift: How to stop trying to escape the pain and start giving that discomfort a direction—turning your story of struggle into fuel to serve others.
• Why taking ownership of your story, even the parts that hurt, is what allows you to stop reacting and start leading.

The Mindset Shift: From Pain to Purpose

You don’t need to be fully healed to have purpose. You just need to stop hiding from what you already know and start using it. This is the work: using what you’ve been through to serve someone else.

Reflection Question: What is the specific emotion (anger, guilt, or shame) you are currently trying to escape, and how can you start giving that discomfort direction to fuel your purpose?

If today’s episode gave you something to think about, please like and share to help us reach others on their early path of recovery.

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com

Doubt doesn't always show up loud—sometimes, it slides in quietly, disguised as comfort, distraction, or just "taking a break". If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “I’ve been here before… what makes this time different?” after a slip or a restart, this episode is for you.

Coach DaMarcus Morton features an honest clip with John, an early recovery client, who is grappling with this exact challenge. This powerful conversation dives into the heart of imposter syndrome, the fear of success, and the mindset shift required to break old patterns for good.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why pressure—from others or yourself—can lead you right back to old patterns like isolation and procrastination.
• The real root of the struggle: Fear of what happens if things actually start to work. Growth asks you to level up, and that unfamiliar ground can feel more threatening than the struggle you're used to.
• DaMarcus's personal experience with Imposter Syndrome and the simple phrase he started practicing—"I receive that. Thank you"—to integrate his growth and stop rejecting compliments.

🛠️ The Practical Tool: Bridging Statements

Mindset work isn't just about what you think, but how you talk back to the thoughts that try to pull you off track. Coach Morton introduces a core tool taught in his coaching group: The Bridging Statement, which is based on cognitive restructuring.

This tool allows you to give an old, limiting thought ("I'm just a screw-up") a conscious rebuttal:

• Step 1 (The Bridge): Use a conscious rebuttal, like, “But that’s an old thought,” or “But I no longer choose to think that way”.
• Step 2 (The Proof): Follow it with something true that your brain has evidence for, like, “I’ve already done hard things,” or “I’m learning to respond differently now”.

This intentional practice is how you start retraining your mind—with truth, with proof, and with consistency. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be intentional.

Reflection Question: What is the most frequent negative thought that tries to pull you off track, and what is the Bridging Statement and Truth/Proof you can write down today to rebut it?

Bet on you. And don’t forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode!

Have a question you want answered? Submit it to [email protected]

...and to learn more about my online coaching groups, visit: www.DaMarcusMorton.com