The Collings and Herrin Podcasts

Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast 140. It's the first time Andrew Collins and Richard Herring have spoken in over 60 months and it would be foolish to deny that there might be come tensions bubbling beneath (and all over) the surface, but there's still time for some banter that will take you back to the glory days of 2008-2011. Armed with emergency questions and an emergency folder of cherished tabloid memories the pair attempt to discuss the country's worst serial killers, the Mitfords, the evil of Cecil Parkinson, the debt they owe each other, the unresolved sexual tension (at least at the start of the evening), the disappointment of Northampton, decent and indecent proposals, whether it's OK to add cartoons to The Human Centipede and what the best kind of tape is. You will laugh, you will wince, you will remember the 1980s, but not possibly as fondly as Collings does.

No preamble. Podcast 167 comes exactly 21 weeks after Podcast 166, due to philosophical differences. Here we are again. Same attic, same settee, same hardware, same mugs, same lighting, less clutter, slightly different feng shui, nothing to prove, and arguably too much to talk about, and argue about. Does it work? Only you can decide.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 6: The End Of History. Yes, having regaled you electronically with the entire 6 Music archive with the music taken out, from the end of 2006, through to the end of 2009, this is the final Collins and Herring 6 Music appearance of that period, and also historic in its own way: our first dep for Adam and Joe on Saturday morning, at which point we had no idea we'd ever be asked to do it again. So, on 8 November, 2009, we attack this hallowed slot with gusto, as it were. Audibly nervous, we. In the pic, you can probably sense those nerves. Having decided who's Adam and who's Joe, we discuss 'invasive' headphones, invent Diary Wars, the forthcoming ITV drama series Collision, ballet, Flight of the Conchords, and whether or not Andrew is using his 'audiobook voice' on the radio. What fun we all had. Another big thanks to archivist Graham Tugwell. Without him, the past couple of months would have been a wilderness with wind whistling spookily through it.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 5: In this penultimate offering from the celestial Graham Tugwell Collins and Herring 6 Music archives, we find Andrew and Richard being invited for the first time ever to co-host someone else's show, in this case Jon Richardson's popular Sunday morning show. Their excitement is palpable. The talk moves from euphemisms to shortened names via Jon's Good Deeds feature, our version of it, cleverly called Bad Deeds, and the first ever accusation that Richard just plays with his phone when he should be working. The picture accompanying the podcast is actually accurate; it was taken via the studio webcam on the exact date of this historic recording, May 31, 2009. Apologies for the occasional technical blip. This is us, not you.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 4: The next four vintage 'pretend podcasts' (they weren't podcasts) from Andrew Collins and Richard Herring, coincide with the filming of the latter's ITV1 comedy-drama You Can Choose Your Friends. Among those topical things discussed on consecutive Saturdays 24 Feb, 3 March, 10 March, 17 March 2007, are: the tumescent lump in David Beckham's shorts; a gigantic, 35-ft squid; a little girl making a stupid face behind Leader of the Opposition David Cameron in Israel; Beth Ditto's squirrel diet; Tony Blair on Comic Relief; Louis Walsh being kicked off The X-Factor (that dates it, right?); and Richard's nude scene in the aforementioned comedy-drama. Don't we sound young?

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 3: Bone-us! As if there aren't *enough* podcasts with Richard Herring on, here are the latest Tugwell Tapes, Pt3, ie. music-free recordings of the half-hour topical review that Richard used to do on Andrew's Saturday afternoon 6 Music show in the Olden Days of 2006-07 (and turned out to be a prototype for what became the Collings and Herrin podcast a year later). There are four here: 20 January, 27 Jan, 3 Feb, 17 Feb 2007, and what a wonderful, prelapsarian world it was, with pre-watershed chit-chat about spliff-denying Leader of the Opposition David Cameron, still-alive Jade Goody, still-insurging Iraqis, and the tantalising possibility of a Someone Likes Yogurt DVD (now *that* dates it).

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 2: three more 'pretend podcasts' from that weird yesteryear-style parallel universe when Andrew had a regular weekend radio show on 6 Music and Richard was his jolly guest, and these music-free newspaper reviews were a brief initiative. We reach the end of 2006, including a solo show by Richard on Christmas Eve, and two shows from the beginning of 2007, a brave new year - and just three months away from it all being taken away from us - 7 January and 13 January. The tone continues to be silly and cheeky and mischievous and topical and giggly; David Cameron is leader of the Opposition, Tony Blair the Prime Minister, Ruth Kelly something to do with education, a man from the band Towers Of London seems to matter, David Beckham is moving from Real Madrid to LA Galaxy, and in Andrew's shameful and self-indulgent absence on December 24, the lovely Lucy Porter plays the Richard role to Richard's Andrew. And yes, Richard does manage to get the phrase 'brackish' onto national radio during the day. (Thanks to archeologist Graham Tugwell for these finds. Incidentally, the webcam pics that accompany these bonus podcasts are not specific to the recordings, but are roughly correct in terms of era, and specific to the studio.)

BONUS PRETEND PODCASTS: THE TUGWELL TAPES Pt 1. Thanks to podcast-counting buccaneer archivist Graham Tugwell, we have unearthed the whole of the Collins and Herring Pretend Podcasts, which weren't podcasts. It's the weekly newspaper review Andrew and Richard used to do at weekends on 6 Music nearly five years ago, but with the indie music filleted out. They began in November 2006, when we were all young and excitable and suitable for family listening, and were made available to listen to for a week each. What you're hearing is the water-birth of the Collings and Herrin Podcasts (it was this item that we were attempting to reproduce when we began podcasting in March 2008). There are three here, from November 26, December 10 and December 17, 2006, and among those things discussed in a genial and silly manner are: Peter Hitchens, leader of the opposition David Cameron, the concert for Princess Diana, Guardian wallcharts, the news that Lembit Opik had started going out with a Cheeky Girl, Britney's pants and Russell Howard seeing Big Ben for the first time. Innocent times.

In Podcast 166, Richard takes sluggish to new levels and Andrew singularly fails to awaken the Kracken of his usually ebullient personality, even when he reveals that Malcolm X wrote a prototype of the famous joke, 'I'm not saying I'm Jesus, that is for other people to say,' and tries to recruit him for further singalongs, including The Dambusters Theme. Further attempts are made to enliven Richard for what must surely be our last podcast if he keeps this up, including a potentially lively discussion about politically correct censorship of dogs and centipedes, during which Richard inadvertently conceives his next two BBC pitches. (You'll have to listen to find out what they are.) Meanwhile, his actual BBC comedy drama script languishes unwritten for over an hour, with the last word written - 'help' - taking on a whole new profound significance. We can only apologise. Blame Ricky Gervais at the Seinfeld aftershow.

At last! The Podcast 165 Show! Although we threatened the end the podcast last week, we decided to keep it going for one more week, as Andrew was coming round to Richard's anyway before they went off to see Jerry Seinfeld at the O2 Arena in London and they had some time to kill. On a swelteringly hot day, in order to get through one more podcast, Andrew was forced to drink some pinot grigio blush beforehand, and a single 4% proof American beer during, while Richard didn't. The highlights are forensically well-remembered Monty Python sketches and songs, which may baffle our younger listeners, but which will transport people in their forties and fifties to a happier time for British comedy, when stand-ups didn't make 4 million a year. This podcast also stands as a tribute-cum-warning to national treasure Stewart 'Wart' Lee. If you were in Mrs Markilee's class at Cobden Junior School in Loughborough circa 1975 and recognise yourself in the photograph accompanying this podcast, do get in touch! Let's hope Seinfeld is on more disciplined comedic form. Altogether now: Immanuel Kant was a real pissant, he was very rarely etc. etc.