The Couples Expert

In today's Three Minutes with Stuart video, Stuart shares how his wife Debbie and him celebrate Passover and Easter as an interfaith couple.

He explains how an interfaith sedar takes place and what his family does when they come together for this holiday.

Tune in and share in the celebration!

In the 106th episode of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart’s topic is the Easter and Passover holidays that we’re celebrating this week. This year Passover began on Tuesday and Easter is Sunday. Stuart and his wife Debbie have an interfaith marriage where they support each other in their respective religious practices and celebrate both Jewish and Christian holidays with each other and their extended family. Listen in as Stuart talks about what an interfaith Passover/Easter celebration looks like at the Fensterheim household.

How special it is that families that come together to celebrate their diverse beliefs, and what a blessing it is to have our elders together with our extended family. We have a wonderful opportunity to take lessons from the past and apply them to today. Not all families are as fortunate. Stuart wants to share what this is like for his family.

“Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in synch like the ice skating pairs you see during the winter Olympics”

Easter and Passover bring the thread of the past into the present. When we observe what our forefathers had to endure and how they persevered and triumphed. We get to celebrate that this strength and dedication and how essential it is to us as a people. Celebrating this in the Jewish faith means that we keep the story alive through the retelling it to our children so they can pass it along to their kids and on through the generations to keep these lessons alive.

What you’ll learn from today’s Podcast:

• Passover and the reason why we eat unleavened bread [3:23]
• Kosher for the Passover Seder [4:20]
• Easter and spring time [7:10]
• The lessons we learn about love in these traditions [8:43]
• Celebrate love [9:35]
• The empty chair and freedom [10:54]
• The questions of the young [12:53]
• Stories and feasting [13:55]

View the full show notes here

What does it mean to have courage to you? We hear stories in the media and from friends and family about people who have done courageous things all the time.

Whether it's a fire fighter entering a burning building to rescue someone trapped on the inside or a teenager that stands up to the high school bully to protect another classmate.. courage comes in many forms.

But, how does courage play a part in our relationship with our partner? Does it take courage to have a genuine truly authentic relationship?

April 5th is Go For Broke Day, so I focused on what that means in a relationship. Going for broke, or going "all-in" means taking a risk and giving all of yourself emotionally to your partner.

We all have things that we aren't too fond of about ourselves, and we may worry about being accepted by our partners. But when we are not being authentic with ourselves and with our partner can we truly have a fulfilling relationship?

And for those of us who take the risk and invest "all-in" in our relationship is that worthy of being considered courageous? I think it is.

In today's video I talk about having courage in a relationship and why it's so important to go "all in" or go for broke with your partner. The reward is well worth the risk when you are with the right person.

In Episode 105 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart talks about going “all in” in our lives and in our relationships with our partners. It's “Go For Broke” week , a fun holiday on April 5th. Tune in to hear how you can go for broke in your relationships.

Going for broke is always fraught with hope and anxiety. You can’t win it all if you don’t go for broke. Do you believe in your relationship enough to go all in and invest everything on your love life? Take a listen here as Stuart talks about what this means in your relationship.

What you’ll learn on today’s podcast:

• What you are  risking if you go for broke?  [7:40]
• What if you don’t go all in?  [9:25]
• Why you must go for broke with your partner [10:27]
• What does going for broke look like in your relationship? [11:35]
• Holding back sabotages your future [15:09]

View the complete shownotes here

It seems like a new online dating website springs up every month, and more and more people are comfortable with online dating.

What are the benefits of dating someone you met online? Do people really build strong long lasting committed relationships from online dating? In today's video I talk about online dating and how people who meet online can have a very "connected" relationship.

In episode 104 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart’s guest is Marisa Cohen; an Assistant Psychology Professor St. Francis College in Brooklyn, New York and the Director of Self Awareness and Bonding Lab. Her work centers on the science of relationships and gender differences. Today’s discussion will be about online dating and finding love online. Listen as Stuart and Marisa delve into this interesting topic.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• How can there be science in relationships? 5:17
• How online dating changes the process of courtship 6:42
• Why the research on successful couples varies 8:55
• How dating algorithms on dating sites help you find your match 10:30
• Some of Stuart’s dating experiences 13:12
• Technology helps us connect with people that we might not otherwise meet 15:48
• Are online first meetings more authentic than first person meetings?  19:04
• There’s an app (and a book)  for that 21:46
• Getting to forever 29:02

Being open and honest when completing your online profile will increase the chances of developing a relationship that will last. Don't misrepresent yourself.

Click here to view the full show notes

The following quote is taken from the book "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

After reading the inspiring words of Marianne Williamson above, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you accept who you are and love being YOU?

or

Do you change your behaviour, adjust your feelings to appease others or to feel validated by someone else?

Whether you like yourself or not, the fact remains there is no where you can go to avoid YOU from tagging along with you. So since you have to take YOU wherever you go, it makes sense to start loving and appreciating YOU for who YOU are.

In today's video I talk about about authenticity, and being authentic in your relationship with your partner.

Living an authentic life with your partner allows you the freedom to be yourself and means you can be secure in the knowledge that you don’t have to hide anything from them. They are going to love you and value you because of (and in spite of) your showing every side of yourself, every wrinkle and wart, and every broken part of you.

Plus the more you are authentic, the more confident you will become. The more you like yourself the more others will like you too, especially your partner.

A key foundational block of your relationship is honesty. Another is trust. How can you be truly honest with your partner if you are living a lie instead of being authentic and living an authentic life?

In episode 103 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart’s guest is Robina Meehan, an “Emotional Renovator”. Her specialty is connecting with women. She guides women as a facilitator to help them live a more authentic life.

We want to send a huge thank you to Jo Muirhead for referring Robina to the podcast. Stuart and Robina discuss how being who you truly are, is the path to happiness.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• What brought Robina to do this work [11:15]
• Change can come in an instant [13:00]
• Definition of rage [14:25]
• Where the passion for women came from  [21:20]
• Both partners need to be emotional [24:30]
• Many women live in their head not their heart [27:38]
• Sexuality and communicating your needs [29:40]
• Infidelity is not about sex [31:07]
• What people discover in doing work on themselves [33:00]
• The importance of listening [35:02]
• The power of journaling [35:57]
• You have to honor your own boundaries [40:00]

Click here to view the complete shownotes

In today's Three Minutes with Stuart talks about the upcoming St. Patrick's Day holiday and why it's another opportunity to show your partner how important they are to you.

A Brief History of St. Patrick's Day-

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated every year on March 17th. The celebration is to commemorate the death of St. Patrick, the patron Saint of Ireland, who was successful in converting the pagans of Ireland to Christians. What began as an Irish religious festival has become celebration all around the globe with many different festivities and parades. The shamrock and Leprechaun are symbols associated with St. Patrick's Day.

Some more interesting things about St. Patrick's Day:

Each year 5.5 million people visit St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and there are over 450 churces in the U.S. named after St. Patrick. Another interesting thing to note is whether you're Irish or not nearly 122 million Americans say they celebrate St. Patrick's day each year! That's 39% of the population of the entire country!

Common Ways People Celebrate St. Patrick's Day:

You probably have noticed that the color green is associated with the holiday and 83% of people who celebrate the holiday will wear something green. Some folks make a special dinner, attend a party, or decorate their homes with St. Patrick's Day decorations.

The title of today's video, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" is related to St. Patrick's Day too. It's a reference to the famous Blarney Stone found in Ireland. It is said that anyone who kisses the stone is blessed with being eloquent. So pucker up!

St. Patrick's day is really a fun holiday and couples should take the time to enjoy it, enjoy each other, and have some fun.

In Episode 102 of The Couples Expert Podcast is our Happy St. Patrick’s Day episode. We’re not always talking about weighty and somber issues. This week we’re going to have some fun and celebrate a uniquely American Irish holiday.

I love this St. Patty’s Day quote that says “A Best Friend is like a 4 leaf clover~ Hard to find and lucky to have” Unknown. How wonderful when your partner is your best friend. You are indeed lucky. You need to cultivate that friendship. There’s more to love than chemistry or physical attraction. Making a long-term relationship work requires your commitment to being a best friend to your partner every day.

What you’ll get from today’s podcast:

• Is your partner your best friend?  at 3:00
• Why you should celebrate together at 7:30
• Can St.Patrick’s Day add some fun to your love life? at 10:30
• Some St. Patrick’s day trivia  at 12:38
• Commit to connecting with loved ones 17:50

Click here to view the complete show notes