The Dad I Want To Be with Mike Forrester

A father can rebuild trust with an estranged child by keeping every promise, one visit at a time, even after years apart. My guest Mike Martin went nine years without being part of his daughter's life. Before that, he lived with depression and leaned on other people to make his decisions. Two marriages and two divorces over about 10 years left him feeling like a failure. After the second, he was homeless and was told he didn't deserve his family. That night he tried to end his life. The next day at work, he heard Ryan Holiday on The Hunting Collective podcast. He decided he didn't want his kids to remember a father who was only a failure. If he could rebuild from nothing, they would know they could too. His anxiety ran so deep that for a month he couldn't choose dinner. The day he finally settled on a burger was the first time he trusted his own decision.

His tools are simple, and many come from the Stoics. Mike Martin focuses only on what's in his power to control. When a problem looks overwhelming, he breaks it into bite-size pieces and works through them. When his contact lenses crumbled at work, he found an eye doctor with an opening and had it fixed within hours. Years earlier, he says, that would have sent him into a panic attack. He journals, sometimes only a word or two, because no one is there to judge what he writes. Through journaling and meditation, he found his values and started holding himself to a standard. He tames the negative voice by talking to himself out loud in the mirror. He meditates outdoors, on a shoreline, in a deer blind, or on a boat. That steadiness held even when he lost his home again.

The breakthrough came with his daughter. Her mother told him the girl didn't want to see him. He walked into that first visit anyway, and his daughter told him the opposite. He listened to her whole life story for two hours. A week later, she texted asking him to come six hours early. A year in, riding in his truck, she asked him her first real question. He calls those her first words. His advice to other fathers is to keep your word every time, even when the deer are running. Break it once and you start a pattern. Trust comes first, and acceptance follows. Mike Forrester teaches that healing starts with the man, and Mike Martin rebuilt himself before he reached for his daughter. That work made him whole whatever she decided. Some dads have a child who's grown distant. Others walked away and want back in. Mike Martin's story is for both.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Learn how to rebuild trust with an estranged child by keeping every commitment you make.
• Use bite-size steps to work through problems that once would have sent you into a panic.
• Recognize why each hard moment in reconnecting with your kids is a chance to show who you've become.
• Start journaling with just a word or two to sort your thoughts and set a standard for yourself.
• Spot how focusing only on what you control keeps you steady through big transitions, even losing your home.
• See how talking to yourself out loud in the mirror can quiet the negative voice in your head.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:00 - how to stay steady when you lose your home

00:05:00 - when a father realizes what missing his daughter's life cost them both

00:08:00 - how to rebuild a strained relationship with your child

00:09:00 - how to stay calm when your ex attacks you in front of your kids

00:11:00 - how to handle a stressful day without panicking

00:14:00 - how to break overwhelming problems into small steps

00:16:00 - depression, divorce, and hitting rock bottom

00:19:00 - how stoic philosophy and the outdoors helped him rebuild

00:21:00 - how to push through social anxiety and start anyway

00:28:00 - reconnecting with a child after years apart

00:34:00 - how to be consistent and earn back your child's trust

00:37:00 - daily habits like journaling and mirror talk that tame negative self-talk

Connect with Mike Martin

Website:

Projectmindfullyoutdoors.Wordpress.com

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Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/ProjectMindfullyOutdoors/

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Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/ProjectMindfullyOutdoors/

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Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

When a dad is angry or emotionally checked out, his son learns to keep his head down and believe he’s not good enough. In this conversation, Mike Forrester sits down with his adult son, Arthur Forrester, to talk about the house Arthur grew up in. Mike names it plainly. He communicated through yelling, intimidation, and manipulation. He also spent 12 to 18 hours a day gaming to escape. He was there in body and gone everywhere else. Arthur remembers his plan from back then. He would stay out of Dad’s way, finish school fast, and get out of the house. He says a real father and son relationship barely existed. Arthur fought hard depression for about four years, and he connects part of it to watching his dad check out. Even after Mike changed, Arthur kept hearing the same voice at the gym. Every correction sounded like proof he didn’t measure up.

Arthur’s way forward came through his own mindset work. It started with a quote on his phone case about the privilege of waking up alive. Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic podcast and the book The Obstacle Is the Way gave him a framework. To Arthur, stoicism means feeling joy and sadness fully and staying persistent. Memento mori reminds him to live fearlessly with the one life he has. When something fails, he crosses off one approach and tries the next. When a job says no, he asks what he could do better next time. Tech school for welding and machining gave him real confidence. Some days ran from 5:30 in the morning to 7 at night. Instructors who told him he was doing great helped him believe it. Now he meets weekly with friends who check in on each other’s mental health, goals, and schoolwork. When a planned move fell through, he stayed steady, kept people in the loop, and blamed no one.

The breaking point came after the two of them stopped going to the gym for a month or two. Arthur looked in the mirror and asked why he was still resentful of a man who had changed. He decided he wanted love and a real relationship with his father. Today they push each other in the gym as partners, and Arthur says they’ve learned to trust each other. Mike lives and teaches that a father’s healing never guarantees his kids come back. It gives them room to choose, and Arthur chose. Mike tells his son plainly that only Arthur could make that change. This one is for the dad with kids still at home who sees them keeping their heads down around him. He wants them to grow up trusting him and glad to come home.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize what your kids see when you’re home but checked out, whether it shows up as anger, gaming, or a screen.
• See how a dad’s corrections can land as “I’m not good enough” in a son, even when the intent is to help.
• Understand why your own change gives your kids room to rebuild trust with you, and why you can’t force it.
• Learn how stoic ideas like memento mori and The Obstacle Is the Way can help a young man push through failure.
• Use a job turndown as a chance to ask what you could do better next time.
• Walk through how a group of friends who check in on mental health and goals builds real community.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:04:00 - Why a young man needs friends he can trust

00:05:05 - How a friend group can hold each other accountable

00:07:42 - Feeling like you’re never good enough for your dad

00:09:42 - The breaking point that changed how a son saw his father

00:12:02 - A daily reminder that helped him fight depression

00:12:53 - What it’s like when your dad is home but emotionally checked out

00:19:01 - Growing up with dyslexia and other learning challenges

00:21:08 - How tech school and good instructors built his confidence

00:22:35 - What a son remembers about a dad who yelled and intimidated

00:28:20 - Why only you can choose to change

00:29:54 - How stoicism and The Obstacle Is the Way helped him

00:38:02 - How to handle disappointment when plans fall through

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

I'm joined this week by Mark Savant, host of multiple podcasts, podcast production agency owner, a husband and father. We talk about how many people live for the weekend, looking forward to Friday and dreading Monday for that return to work. The unhappiness and fulfillment, scared of being replaced by someone younger who was coming for his job. Mark was able to replace that mindset and say thank God it's Monday as he discovered what he enjoyed and then focused on creating a business within that space.

Mark shares how learning he would be a dad lit a fire under him, and the changes that came about from it. HIs desire to be a great dad then set him on a path to creating the Awesome Dad Podcast and community. Mark spoke on learning how to hear advice from multiple sources to determine what guidance you would apply and be helpful to you that we each have our unique path for growth, habits and ultimately our success.

Connect with Mark Savant

Email:

[email protected]

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/MarkSavantMedia/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/marksavantmedia/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/company/marksavantmedia/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

Let's discuss some of the takeaways from the interview with Chris Comer.

• Discuss the rewards and risks of not talking with your wife about what's going on in life.
• What to do when you're at the crossroads, wondering what else you might do for work that would bring you joy and satisfaction?
• How the success of your marriage and finances are tied to one another.

Be sure to join us within the Living Fearless Today group on Facebook! I look forward to seeing you there - use this link to join our new community

https://www.facebook.com/groups/livingfearlesstoday

Over the past two years, we have experienced isolation and lockdowns, and more of us are feeling disconnected and detached than ever before. Yet, being within a community is vital to who we are, our mental well-being and the increased motivation to chase after our dreams.

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

Self-sabotage is undoing your own progress right when it starts to pay off, often out of fear you’re not worthy. In this solo episode, Mike Forrester names how it shows up in a man’s money, health, and work. You set money aside, then spend it on something you can’t resist. For Mike, that might be a new grill, a set of golf clubs, or gear for camping. You make real progress at the gym, then lose a weekend to ice cream and chocolate. You get the project that could bring a promotion and a raise, then find everything else to do instead. Mike explains that none of this is deliberate. It happens below the surface, and it pulls you back to the level you’re used to.

Mike lays out a clear process to catch it and course correct. The first step is self-awareness. Procrastinating, running errands that suddenly feel urgent, and medicating with distractions are all warning signs. Next, look inward for the fear at the core. You might fear your boss will expect things you can’t deliver. You might fear people will finally see you as the man someone once said you were. Then ask how likely that fear really is and how bad the fallout would be. Mike says we usually build a stubbed toe into a broken foot. After that, take action on the fear. Talk to someone in a similar role, or ask your boss what they actually expect. Often the weight you’re carrying is one nobody else put on you.

The way back is built from small wins. Mike suggests finding someone to hold you accountable and check in on your progress. With money, start with a micro step, like setting aside five or ten dollars from the next paycheck, then build up. Each small step restores the trust you lost in yourself. He borrows from Olympic long jumpers, who see every step of the jump before they start running. You can do the same with the gym, your finances, or a new role. Then add gratitude for the choices you get to make, and get outside and move when you feel isolated. Asking for help and accountability fits what Mike Forrester lives and teaches, which is to quit trying to fix yourself by yourself. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids still at home, who keeps undoing his own progress. He wants to follow through on what he sets out to do and build a life his family can count on.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize the signs of self-sabotage in your health and your money, from binging after weeks at the gym to blowing your savings.
• Understand why fear of not being worthy pulls you back to where you’re comfortable.
• Name the fear behind your self-sabotage and ask how likely it really is.
• Learn how to stop stalling at work by asking your boss what they actually expect from you in a new role.
• Use micro steps, like saving five or ten dollars, to rebuild trust in yourself after a setback.
• Walk through visualization, gratitude, and an accountability partner to follow through on what you promise yourself and your family.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:51 - Why you binge after making progress at the gym

00:01:24 - Why you procrastinate on the project that could get you promoted

00:02:38 - What self-sabotage is and why it happens without you noticing

00:03:34 - How feeling unworthy makes you sabotage your own success

00:04:24 - How procrastinating and medicating warn you that you’re self-sabotaging

00:06:10 - How to find the fear behind your self-sabotage

00:07:13 - How to tell if your fear is as big as it feels

00:08:33 - How to prepare for a new role you feel unqualified for

00:09:59 - How an accountability partner keeps you on track

00:10:50 - How to rebuild your savings with small steps after you blow the money

00:12:24 - How to use visualization like an Olympic athlete

00:14:05 - How gratitude and getting outside help you get back on track

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

Many of us have hit that crossroad, wondering what I would do if I didn't do this. Whether it comes from not feeling like you have any other options because of limited skills or because you believe you couldn't replace your income, it can leave you trapped. For example, this week, my friend and guest, Chris Comer, asked this question as an automotive restoration business owner. Some problematic situations left him feeling like he couldn't catch a break.

Going through those trying times gave Chris first-hand knowledge on how to help people to improve their finances by strengthening their marriage. As a marriage and finance coach, Chris is uniquely gifted to speak hope to couples facing their own difficult times. Join us to hear how Chris is preparing to work with New York Times multiple best-selling author Andy Andrews to guide people through life-changing lessons.

Connect with Chris Comer

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/coach.chris.comer

Life Skills Project Website:

https://andyandrews.com/skills/

Email:

[email protected]

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

Learning to love yourself can start with something as simple as writing "I love myself" a hundred times a day. My guest Danny Miranda calls that practice the most important thing he's ever done. Danny had great parents and a good childhood. Inside, he still didn't feel whole. He dealt with depression and a lack of self-worth, and he sought outside validation more than he realized. Later he earned good money from NFTs, but he felt misaligned and lost himself in making money for its own sake. Even after he thought he'd solved his issues, he slid into a real rut. He had dropped the practices that kept him full. When a friend called wanting to start loving himself, Danny agreed to do it with him. Both wrote the line a hundred times a day and texted each other every night. Danny says you don't have to believe it on day one. By day 21, he says, you're in a different place.

Danny credits habits for nearly all of it. He says he's a different person than he was a few years ago because of what he does daily. He's studying BJ Fogg's Tiny Habits and James Clear to learn how habits stick. His biggest lesson is the prompt. A kitchen timer on his counter is his cue to meditate. When he traveled and left it packed, he skipped meditation and only later saw why. For a man who says he can't meditate, Danny asks whether he even has a prompt. Meditation also showed him that every voice about what others thought was his own. That freed him to care more about his own opinion of himself. When he slips, he asks one grounding question. What can I do about it in this moment? Mike adds his own routine of water, breathing in a red light sauna, and the gym with his son.

The breakthrough came when Danny named his purpose. During long meditations in the COVID lockdowns, he decided what he wants on his gravestone. He wants to make the world happier, healthier, and wiser. That finally explained why the NFT money never filled him. He still doesn't know how his purpose will become a career, and he has energy anyway because he lives it each day. Mike Forrester teaches that who a man is stays separate from the roles he fills. Danny shows that purpose can stand without a job title. Danny also wrote out who he wanted to become and called it Danny 2.0. The list included disciplined, compassionate, calm, and kind. Months later his parents, who had never seen it, started calling him Danny 2.0. Mike shares that without this kind of work, he'd still have a marriage on the rocks and kids who didn't trust him. This conversation fits the dad who looks fine on paper but can't say he likes the man in the mirror. It's for the father who wants his kids to watch him learn how.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Use the "I love myself" writing practice, a hundred times a day with a friend for accountability, to rebuild your self-worth.
• Recognize how chasing money for its own sake can leave you successful on the outside and empty inside.
• Set up a simple prompt, like a timer or brushing your teeth, so meditation and other habits actually stick.
• Ask "what can I do about it in this moment?" to stop dwelling on what you should have done.
• Name what you want on your gravestone to find a purpose that doesn't depend on your job.
• See how changing who you are inside changes the way your family sees and responds to you.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:00 - how to stay grounded when you don't know what's next in your career

00:03:00 - when making money leaves you feeling lost and misaligned

00:04:00 - why progress in life has ups and downs

00:06:00 - how daily habits can change who you are

00:08:00 - how to start loving yourself with a simple writing practice

00:11:00 - what to do when you don't believe your affirmations yet

00:15:00 - how to recover when you skip your morning routine

00:18:00 - dealing with depression and low self-worth after a good childhood

00:22:00 - how to build a meditation habit with a simple prompt

00:26:00 - how to live your purpose without knowing your career path

00:32:00 - how to define the man you want to become

00:36:00 - how changing yourself changes the people around you

Connect with Danny Miranda

Website:

https://dannymiranda.com/

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@heydannymiranda

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/heydannymiranda/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannymiranda/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

In this solo episode of Living Fearless Today podcast, host Mike Forrester makes the case that community for men is foundational. When we go without it, isolation creeps in, and that isolation gives anxiety and depression room to take hold and pull us down a darker path. A lot of men have told Mike the same thing…they want real relationships with other growth-minded men, but between work, family, and everything else, they don't have a place where that actually happens. This episode is his answer to that, and his invitation into the kind of community he wishes more men had.

From there, Mike walks through five reasons community makes such a difference for a man. The first is belonging, that Cheers-style place where a guy knows he's wanted and his presence matters. The second is accountability, because saying a goal out loud to other men who expect you to follow through makes you far more likely to actually do it. Third is fun, the kind of camaraderie that lightens the load and hands you a second wind when a challenge has you worn down. Fourth is encouragement, having someone lift your chin when things aren't going your way and remind you to keep moving. And fifth is perspective, the way another man can show you an option or a vantage point you couldn't see on your own.

Mike gets personal about that last one. He talks about how he used to be a classic Eeyore, stuck in a victim mindset where everything felt like it was out to get him, until other men's perspectives helped him start asking what he could learn and what his options were instead. As a husband, father, and grandfather with plenty on his plate, he's honest that a lot of things still don't go the way he wants, and that the men around him are part of how he keeps showing up. He closes with the old three feet from gold idea: when you're running solo, it's easy to quit right before the breakthrough, but with other men beside you, you're far more likely to keep digging. If you've been carrying it all on your own, this one's an invitation to stop.

Anxiety in men often hides in the body, behind stomach problems, constant overthinking, and the quiet belief that he's not that stressed. My guest Julian Sarafian looked like a man who had everything figured out. He was valedictorian in high school, finished Berkeley in three years, and went on to Harvard Law. Underneath that resume, stress gave him stomach aches during SAT prep. In college he lived with heavy social anxiety and assumed everyone had the same intrusive thoughts. Then a constant gagging sensation took over his life. He spent six months chasing medical tests, including an endoscopy under anesthesia. Five years passed before he accepted that stress was driving it. Big law hours, no boundaries, and pandemic isolation later pushed that anxiety into depression and brief suicidal thoughts. Julian says he had reached the end of the road for the way he'd been living.

Julian walks through the self-check he'd give any man who can't tell how stressed he really is. Start with fulfillment, because if you aren't happy or fulfilled, something is off. Then look at the fundamentals of exercise and sleep. If those are slipping, look honestly at your schedule and find what's pressing on you. He also describes turning himself over to mental health services. For the first time, he answered the intake questions honestly. He used to say he worried twice a week when it was really all day long. From there he committed to what he calls a mental health grind. Therapy, journaling, meditation, walks outside, and calling people all became part of his week. He eventually added medication, which he describes as a helpful tool. Two basics did the most for him. Deep breathing slows his thinking and grounds him. Journaling helps him name what he feels so it doesn't leak into the people around him.

The hardest call was walking away from a well-paid big law career. Julian saw the job as a trade of hours for money and asked whether it was worth the toll on his mind. Once he started healing, every relationship in his life improved. He learned to say no, set boundaries, and tell the people he loves what he actually wants. His fiance Cat calls him out when she sees him slipping, and he admits that listening is still a work in progress. He's honest that stumbling back into old habits is part of the process. He meets those moments with compassion so they don't become a downward spiral. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that a man should quit trying to fix himself by himself. Julian's turn came when he finally let others help. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids at home, who says he's fine when his body disagrees. It's for the father who wants his kids to see him handle stress out in the open.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize how stress and anxiety can show up as physical symptoms like stomach pain, gagging, and nonstop overthinking.
• Use a simple self-check built on fulfillment, exercise, sleep, and an honest look at your schedule.
• See why being honest about how often you really worry changes the kind of help you get.
• Understand how Julian weighed a high-paying career against the toll it was taking on his mental health.
• Learn two basics, deep breathing and journaling, that calm a racing mind and help you name what you feel.
• Spot how clearer communication and healthy boundaries can strengthen your marriage and the way you show up at home.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:01:00 - why a Silicon Valley attorney quit law to focus on mental health

00:04:00 - why falling back into old habits is part of healing

00:06:00 - letting the people closest to you call you out

00:07:00 - when stress and anxiety show up as stomach problems

00:09:00 - what social anxiety and overthinking feel like inside and out

00:11:00 - the moment he realized stress was the real problem

00:15:00 - the difference between everyday stress and anxiety

00:16:00 - signs you're more stressed than you think

00:17:00 - how to decide if a high-paying job is worth the toll on your mental health

00:20:00 - what a mental health routine with therapy, journaling, and meditation looks like

00:25:00 - how better mental health improves your relationships and boundaries

00:27:00 - how deep breathing and journaling help you manage anxiety

Connect with Julian Sarafian

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@juliansarafian

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/juliansarafian/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/julian.sarafian

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliansarafian/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

For many of us, being cruel to ourselves comes easy. We say or think mean and hurtful things, stuff we wouldn't consider saying to someone else, yet it's okay when it's directed at ourselves. So I would encourage you to be kind to yourself, say and think the things you wish someone would say to you and speak the encouraging and positive things you want to be true about us. While it won't change completely overnight, give it a try, so how you feel and if things around you change.