Mark Rutte's plan to treat Donald Trump like Orange royalty paid dividends at the Nato summit in The Hague. Specifically 5% dividends, as the 32 nations agreed to raise their defence spending with a definition of "vital infrastructure" as elastic as Rutte's spine. Geert Wilders' PVV party threatens to sabotage its own asylum bill in protest at the other parties undermining Marjolein Faber's "brilliant" plans. Housing minister Mona Keijzer believes darker hallways and even steeper staircases are the answer to the housebuilding crisis. And a creeping horror is back to terrorise the nation's oak trees.