The Date with Confidence Podcast

The reason so many people (women especially) settle in average relationships with average men - and by average I mean not the type of person they actually want to be dating - is because they’re not crystal clear on their relationship vision.

But I’ve got just the solution for you…..a solution that means you’ll NEVER settle in a relationship with someone you’re not compatible with (or who doesn’t treat you how you deserve) again.

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I explore how to use ChatGPT to improve your dating life by asking a question that’ll turn your standards list into a full blown dream relationship vision. 

From building an intentional wishlist of standards to staying open-minded yet discerning in dating, I discuss how having a future story can inspire hope and prevent you settling for less than you deserve. I also share my personalised future story (cringe moments and all!) and the value of visualising everyday moments in a relationship that feel authentic and fulfilling.

Here’s what we cover:

1. Using AI for Personal Growth: How tools like ChatGPT can help craft a detailed vision for your dream life and relationship

2. Defining Relationship Standards: The importance of creating and regularly revisiting a list of non-negotiables in a partner

3. The Power of Visualisation: How visualising small, meaningful moments can make your dream relationship feel more tangible

4. Balancing Clarity and Openness: Avoiding rigid expectations while ensuring you don’t settle for less than you deserve

5. Dating with Intention: Leveraging your relationship vision to assess dating profiles and make aligned choices

6. Everyday Intimacy Matters: Why the little moments, like dancing in the kitchen or stargazing, are essential in building a lasting connection

7. Self-Worth in Dating: Staying true to yourself and your vision while navigating modern dating challenges

The prompt I used in ChatGPT:

“Can you intertwine a fairytale, healthy, "Nobody Wants This" style relationship with a tall, handsome, intelligent and caring man please? Please be specific about the type of man I'll be with based on this wish list: [and then I added my standards in a list of bullet points] ”

Mentioned:

Subscribe to my Your Confident 30s YouTube channel here

How to Manifest “The One”: Do This Before Dating

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here.

Resources

• Attract on the Apps
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Follow your host on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our monthly community episode is here!

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I answer the following questions:

• Is it just me who finds it sexual when someone touches inside my belly button?
• Would you be the one to initiate the conversation of going from dating to exclusive?
• How would you ask someone out without literally saying 'do you want to go out with me'?
• I’ve been seeing someone and my intuition is telling me something is off. I don’t know if I’m just being anxious and overthinking things. Should I give him a chance? 

From deciphering whether anxiety is clouding judgement to trusting your gut feelings, I share my personal philosophy and experiences to help you date with confidence. If you’ve ever questioned whether to “give someone a chance,” this episode is a must-listen! 

***BLACK FRIDAY BUNDLES: Available until 1st December***

How to Overcome Anxious Attachment When Dating Someone New

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. 

Support The Date with Confidence Podcast

If you'd like to show your support for the podcast, you can do so in these ways:

1) Share the podcast with your friends

2) Leave me a review on iTunes stating what you love most about the podcast so more people can find it

3) Buy me a coffee to express you gratitude for the episodes if you found them helpful, inspiring or entertaining

Resources

• The 9 Red Flags You Need to Stop Ignoring Immediately
• The Dating Debrief
• Attract on the Apps
• Loved Up
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’ve been reflecting on the kind of love I want to call into my life in a different way recently, a way that I’ve never considered before now. It’s causing me to reevaluate my relationship standards and helping me to go even deeper with what I desire from a relationship in the future. 

Here’s a brief overview:

1. Evolving Relationship Standards: Shifting my focus from chemistry to enduring qualities like loyalty and support

2. Unconditional Care in Relationships:*Inspired by my grandparents, examining the beauty of caregiving within love

3. Desire for a Resilient Partnership: Seeking a partner who is committed through both joyous and challenging moments

4. Reflecting on Singlehood and Self-Knowledge: Embracing singlehood to gain clarity on relationship desires

5. Intentional Love: Moving from attraction-driven dating to a more values-centred approach

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Support The Date with Confidence Podcast

If you'd like to show your support for the podcast, you can do so in these ways:

1) Share the podcast with your friends

2) Leave me a review on iTunes stating what you love most about the podcast so more people can find it

3) Buy me a coffee to express you gratitude for the episodes if you found them helpful, inspiring or entertaining

Resources

• The 9 Red Flags You Need to Stop Ignoring Immediately
• The Dating Debrief
• Attract on the Apps
• Loved Up
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I reflect on a transformative realisation about dating: sometimes, our obsession with a partner isn’t about them at all—it’s about how incredible *we* are.

After watching a TikTok that highlighted this, I began to look differently at my dating experiences. I now notice that the excitement and fulfilment I feel often comes from my own energy and personality, not necessarily the person I’m dating. I explore how this perspective can empower us to enjoy dating more fully and choose partners who truly match our worth.

Here's an overview of what we discussed:

1. Self-Worth in Dating: Understanding how our excitement often stems from our own confidence, not the other person

2. Avoiding Obsessive Attachment: Recognising when attachment is based on personal feelings, not the partner’s qualities

3. Reflecting on Personal Value: Learning to appreciate how much we contribute to enjoyable dates and moments

4. Empowered Dating Choices: Using self-awareness to avoid settling for partners who don’t truly align with our needs

Join me in this episode for a fresh look at dating through the lens of self-worth, and feel free to share if this resonates with your own experiences!

Mentioned:

The TikTok video that inspired this episode

Am I Actually Delusional? The Rollercoaster of Modern Dating

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Support The Date with Confidence Podcast

If you'd like to show your support for the podcast, you can do so in these ways:

1) Share the podcast with your friends

2) Leave me a review on iTunes stating what you love most about the podcast so more people can find it

3) Buy me a coffee to express you gratitude for the episodes if you found them helpful, inspiring or entertaining

Resources

• The 9 Red Flags You Need to Stop Ignoring Immediately
• The Dating Debrief
• Attract on the Apps
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is your anxious attachment style affecting your dating experience?

Are your relationships often overshadowed by feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment?

Do you find yourself overthinking every text or interaction, constantly worried that your partner may pull away?

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I explore how to manage anxious attachment and build lasting confidence in relationships. I share my own experiences with anxiety, offering tools and strategies for recognising triggers, communicating needs and reframing your mindset.

From handling insecurities to asking for reassurance, this episode offers actionable steps for anyone struggling with relationship anxiety. Through mindset shifts, practical exercises and emotional regulation, I guide you toward self-confidence and deeper connections, both with your partner and yourself.

Here's a peek at what we discussed:

1. Understanding Anxious Attachment: Recognising the difference between intuitive red flags and past trauma resurfacing

2. Healing Through Self-Work: How personal growth can reduce anxiety in new relationships

3. Practical Steps to Manage Anxiety: A three-step process to shift away from obsessive thoughts and ground yourself

4. The Role of Self-Worth: How building confidence and addressing feelings of "not enough" can improve relationship dynamics

5. Lessons from Past Relationships: Sharing personal stories to offer relatable, real-world insights into overcoming anxious attachment

6. Understanding Personal Triggers: Identifying what situations or behaviours heighten anxiety in relationships

7. Healthy Communication: How to express feelings and needs in a grounded, clear manner with tips on expressing needs for reassurance without overwhelming your partner.

8. Building Confidence: Tools and techniques to increase self-assurance and reduce anxious attachment

9. Managing Anxiety Early in Relationships: Balancing communication and independence when dating someone new

10. Self-Regulation in Relationships: Strategies to manage emotions and avoid impulsive behaviours driven by anxiety

11. Creating Healthy Relationship Dynamics: Learning how to balance independence and togetherness

This episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast has been a long time coming but I certainly hope it was worth the wait.

Mentioned:

How to Quit Obsessing Over Why He Hasn’t Messaged

Am I Actually Delusional? The Rollercoaster of Modern Dating

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here.

Resources

• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s our monthly community episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast!

We kick things off with a hilarious dating story about an awkward, accidental belly-button encounter that broke the ice when a new girlfriend met her partner’s sister for the first time, followed by the loveliest feedback from a regular listener.

You'll also hear my advice on how to manage insecurities when it comes to a partner’s past relationships and how to keep things easy breezy when you start dating someone new.

Questions I answer:

• What do you think about partners having photos of exes on their social media or phone - should they delete them out of respect for their current partner?
• How do you stop yourself from future faking and keep things “easy breezy”?

Mentioned:

Mindset Shifts You Need to Make Around Dating

Am I Actually Delusional? The Rollercoaster of Modern Dating

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Resources

• The 9 Red Flags You Need to Stop Ignoring Immediately
• The Dating Debrief
• Attract on the Apps
• Loved Up
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was swiping away on Hinge the other day when I was reminded of the thing that gives me the ick instantly....

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

• The Dating Debrief
• Attract on the Apps
• Loved Up
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been on a date with someone and something’s just felt….off?

You can’t put your finger on it because it’s not an “in your face” red flag, but your intuition is telling you something isn’t quite right.

As you reflect on the date(s), you realise there were subtle red flags that’d be easy to miss had you not been working so hard on yourself…..

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I dive deep into the seven easy-to-ignore red flags I’m no longer tolerating in relationships. These red flags are subtle but crucial to recognise if we want to raise our relationship standards and avoid settling for the wrong person.

I share my personal experiences over the last year, reflecting on how I’ve become more attuned to these signs now that I'm in my 30s.

From how someone speaks about their ex to the effort they put into a relationship, this episode will help you identify red flags you might be overlooking and encourage you to trust your instincts when dating.

Here’s a brief overview of what we discuss:

1. Spotting subtle bitterness and resentment towards past partners

2. The significance of how someone talks about strangers or makes spiteful, unnecessary  judgements

3. Recognising when someone's words don’t match their actions (even if it’s a “little” thing)

4. Understanding the importance of mutual effort in the early stages of dating

5. How a partner’s response to your boundaries reveals their true character and why you should walk away when they don’t respect you

6. The importance of honesty about lifestyle choices early on and knowing your deal breakers before you start dating

7. Why their reaction to your feelings matters and what it says about respect in the relationship

This episode offers practical insight for anyone striving to date more consciously and confidently.

Mentioned:

He Asked Me to Send Photos

Dating Advice: Is This Really a Red Flag?

The Confidence Course

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.

Resources

• The 9 Red Flags You Need to Stop Ignoring Immediately
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back in the summer, I received a message on Instagram asking me “What would you suggest the best thing to do for someone who wants to find happiness in their own skin and not feel they need a girl's attention to feel confident and wanted?”.

This message came from someone who was going through a divorce and realised they had some work to do on themselves before they were ready to continue dating. 

I had a lot to say in response to this so instead of typing out an essay, I recorded this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast. Tune in as I dive into the importance of self-validation, shifting perceptions of failure, and romanticising daily life to build inner happiness. The episode explores practical steps to rediscover joy, self-confidence and personal growth while navigating life post-divorce.

Here’s a peek at what we cover: 

1. Acknowledging Attachment Issues: The importance of self-awareness in addressing attachment styles and emotional needs.

2. Shifting Perceptions of Failure: Redefining divorce and moving back home as part of life's journey, not a failure.

3. Romanticising Daily Life: Creating small moments of joy and practising gratitude to build daily happiness.

4. Building Self-Validation: Steps to shift from relying on external validation to becoming your own biggest cheerleader.

5. Self-Care and Confidence: How regular self-care activities contribute to mental and physical well-being.

6. Taking Action for Confidence: Challenging yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone to build self-assurance.

The episode offers a blend of empathy and practical tips to help you navigate post-divorce life and rediscover confidence in yourself.

Mentioned:

How to Be Confident in Yourself When Dating

The Confidence Course

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Resources

• Attract on the Apps
• Loved Up
• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HAPPY ONE YEAR OF THE DATE WITH CONFIDENCE PODCAST!!

In this episode, I reflect on my personal journey through relationships, breakups and self-discovery. From overcoming codependency to setting healthy boundaries, I share some of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned while navigating love and loss over the past 5 years.

I open up about how fear of abandonment affected my past, the importance of respecting myself and why love alone isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship.

This episode is for anyone who’s ready to take ownership of their emotional well-being and create healthier relationship dynamics in their life.

Here’s a peek at what we discuss:

1. Codependency and Self-Worth: Recognising how my happiness depended on someone else and reclaiming my self-worth

2. Fear of Speaking Up: How fear of abandonment silenced me and the power I found in voicing my truth

3. Setting Boundaries: Learning to stick to my boundaries without fear of being left, and walking away when my boundaries aren’t respected

4. Why Love Isn't Always Enough: Understanding that love alone doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationship

5. Embracing Self-Respect: Prioritising my own well-being and learning to respect myself in love

6. Moving on with Peace: Letting go of resentment and looking back at my relationship with gratitude and acceptance

7. Trusting in My Own Timeline: Finding peace in my own journey and trusting that everything will unfold in the right time

Tune in to hear my raw reflections on love, healing, and creating a future rooted in self-love.

CELEBRATE ONE YEAR OF THE DATE WITH CONFIDENCE PODCAST! 

From now until 1st October, save 50% on any of the resources here when you enter code DWCCELEBRATE

Mentioned:

I Know What I Deserve Now

The Nose Picker Date Story

Weird Comments I’ve Received on Hinge

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow your host Rebecca Hawkes on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.