The Date with Confidence Podcast

It’s time to stop dating losers. It's time to stop dating dickheads. It’s time to stop dating people who are not worth your time, energy and effort.

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I tackle the issue of settling for less in relationships. I share why I’m refusing to accept the bare minimum in relationship and how to raise your relationship standards.

Here are the key topics covered:

1. Refusing to Settle: Addressing the tendency to settle for less than you deserve in relationships and the importance of raising your standards

2. Building Self-Worth: Strategies for increasing self-esteem, confidence and belief in your deservingness of a healthy, fulfilling relationship

3. Recognising Toxic Patterns: Identifying and breaking free from toxic relationship patterns and behaviours, including self-abandonment and acceptance of mistreatment

4. Surrounding Yourself with Positive Examples: Seeking out and learning from examples of loving, healthy relationships to inspire and guide personal standards

5. Anchoring into a Greater Purpose: Finding external reasons beyond yourself to commit to raising relationship standards, such as setting an example for future generations or children

6. Practical Strategies for Transformation: Providing actionable steps for cultivating self-respect, setting boundaries and manifesting the relationship you desire

Introducing…..Loved Up!

A confidence-boosting membership dedicated to helping you let go of insecurity, build more self trust and improve all areas of your love life (without weekly calls or another FB group to keep track of...). 

This membership is designed to support you in all areas of your romantic life, whether you’re single and ready to mingle, healing yourself from heartbreak, not-so-happily coupled up or head over heels in love and looking to make things EVEN better.

Join the membership here

Episodes Mentioned:

How to Be Confident in Yourself When You’re Dating

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

Your Dream Relationship Exists: Here’s How to Believe In It 

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. 

Resources

• The Dating Debrief
• Level Up In Love
• The Confidence Course

Visit the website here. Subscribe on YouTube. Follow on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’ve noticed a trend in Facebook groups for women who are actively dating.

This trend is super common and ridiculously easy to get sucked into.

It’s also a pattern that’s guaranteed to keep you single forever. 

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I’m revealing the unhealthy dating mindset that you need to let go of and what you need to do instead to give yourself the opportunity of manifesting the dream relationship you’ve always deserved.

Here’s what we cover:

1. The Pitfall of Generalizing: How negative perceptions of men based on past experiences are impacting your ability to meet the man of your dreams

2. Impact on Dating Dynamics: How defensive attitudes and mistrust influence interactions with potential partners and starts things off on the wrong foot immediately

3. Self-Sabotage and Emotional Barriers: Recognising patterns of behaviour that perpetuate loneliness or dissatisfaction in relationships

4. Embracing Vulnerability: Overcoming fear and insecurities to authentically engage with new romantic prospects and how this can open you up to love with a green flag guy

5. Moving Forward with Empowerment: A simple strategy for releasing past resentments and cultivating a more positive outlook on love and dating

6. Taking Control of Your Dating Journey: Empowering you to break free from negative cycles and create fulfilling relationships based on trust and mutual respect

By addressing these underlying issues and reframing perspectives on dating, you’re encouraged to embark on a journey of self-discovery and openness to new romantic possibilities.

Introducing…..Loved Up!

A confidence-boosting membership dedicated to helping you let go of insecurity, build more self trust and improve all areas of your love life (without weekly calls or another FB group to keep track of...). 

This membership is designed to support you in all areas of your romantic life, whether you’re single and ready to mingle, healing yourself from heartbreak, not-so-happily coupled up or head over heels in love and looking to make things EVEN better.

Join the membership here

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Resources

• The Dating Debrief
• Loved Up
• Level Up In Love

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram + follow your host Rebecca Hawkes here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you ready to leave the mistakes you made in your twenties behind and date with confidence in your thirties?

Do you need guidance on what those mistakes *could* have been?

Would you like to make changes to the way you’re dating so you can manifest your dream relationship?

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I delve into the significant changes I've experienced in dating as I transitioned from my twenties to my thirties.

1. Shifting How We Meet: Dating in my twenties often began with an in person physical attraction, while in my thirties, all but one of my first dates has come from dating apps.

2. Challenging the Lust-Led Approach: Previously led by physical chemistry, discover why I now focus more on emotional and intellectual connection.

3. Revised Priorities in Partner Attributes: I no longer seek the handsome, rich, drives-a-flash-car boy I used to and instead have found something that turns me on more than the amount of money he has in the bank or the brand of clothes he wears…

4. Embracing Sobriety in Dating: Moving away from using alcohol as a crutch for confidence, I've embraced sober dating which has lead to building more genuine connections.

5. Transformed Mindset and Behaviour: Transitioning from insecurity and game-playing in my twenties to self-acceptance and authenticity in my thirties, learn how I've cultivated healthier approaches to dating.

6. Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations: From self-doubt to self-assurance, I've shifted my internal dialogue to affirmations of self-love and worthiness which has been a game changer for my dating life.

7. Overcoming Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment: While anxiety and fear of loss once dominated my dating experience, I've learned to manage these emotions (though there’s still times I struggle because, hello, I’m a human being).

The Dating Debrief

I’m running a brand new FREE masterclass called The Dating Debrief where I’ll be revealing how I went from anxious, codependent and unable to speak up in relationships to confidently dating, able to set solid boundaries, and having the time of my (love) life. 

Sign up here: https://rebeccalucyh.co/debrief 

Episodes mentioned: 

Am I Delusional?! 

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

Dating Advice: How Can I Stop Comparing Myself?

How to Quit Obsessing Over Why He Hasn’t Messaged 

Dating Diaries: A New Year, A New Season

My First Date of 2024: Everything You Need to Know

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s our second (official) community episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast!

This episode is dedicated to you, your questions, your icks and your dating stories. This month, you asked:

• I’m dating a really lovely guy and I’m scared it’s all going to go wrong - how do I prevent self sabotage and cope with this fear?
• My ex wanting to sleep with other people knocked my confidence: how do I stop comparing myself to other women and feel confident in myself again?
• How can I deal with feelings of jealousy about my ex and new women he may be with?

PLUS: I received an awesome message about our last community episode (When’s the best time to discuss a fetish with someone you’re dating?). If you’ve got a fetish or kink that you’re worried people will judge you for, you need to listen to this…

To be included in next month’s community episode, contribute here.

The Dating Debrief

I’m running a brand new FREE masterclass called The Dating Debrief where I’ll be revealing how I went from anxious, codependent and unable to speak up in relationships to confidently dating, able to set solid boundaries, and having the time of my (love) life. 

Sign up here: https://rebeccalucyh.co/debrief 

Episodes mentioned: 

Dating Advice: When's The Best Time to Discuss a Fetish With Someone You're Dating?

How to Quit Obsessing Over Why He Hasn’t Messaged You

How to Feel Confident Having Sex With Someone New

How to Manifest ‘The One’: Do This Before Dating

Your Dream Relationship Exists: Here’s How to Believe In It

Other resources mentioned:

Watch the video on the (Dis)Comfort Zone Come Down

What Does Self Love Mean And How To Love Yourself More

Build Body Confidence

The Confidence Kit

Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved. Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In Love

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Follow on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been frozen in an anxious spiral, obsessing over why your latest match on Bumble hasn’t replied to your message yet?

Or you’ve been on an amazing second, third, fourth date with someone but now they’re not as texty as they were?

This is the episode for you. 

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I tackle the common dating struggle of obsessing over unanswered messages and offer practical solutions to break free from this cycle. 

Dating-induced anxiety is a real challenge, especially for those new to stable relationships. I share personal experiences and insights into managing anxiety in the dating world, highlighting the importance of building self-confidence.

Here’s what we cover:

1. The Cycle of Dating Anxiety: Exploring the anxious thoughts and fears that arise while waiting for a message from someone you're dating.

2. The Root Cause: Addressing the root cause of dating anxiety – a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

3. Continuous Self-Improvement: Emphasising the ongoing process of building self-confidence and self-esteem as a solution to long-term anxiety.

4. Realistic Expectations: Encouraging realistic reasoning for delayed responses, avoiding irrational assumptions about the other person's intentions.

5. The 90/90 Mindset Concept: Introducing the concept of striving for 90% confidence 90% of the time, allowing for occasional moments of anxiety.

6. Mindset Exercises: Sharing practical mindset exercises like positive affirmations and reframing thoughts to alleviate anxiety.

7. Practical Actions: Offering actionable steps to distract yourself from obsessive thoughts, including mood-boosting playlists and processing with friends.

8. Energetic Exercises: Exploring energetic exercises like breathwork, EFT tapping and box breathing to manage physical symptoms of anxiety.

By listening to this episode, you'll gain valuable insights into managing dating anxiety, understanding its root causes, and incorporating practical exercises to navigate these challenging moments.

The Dating Debrief: How I went from anxious, codependent and unable to speak up in relationships to confidently dating, able to set solid boundaries, and having the time of my (love) life. Get your FREE ticket: https://rebeccalucyh.co/debrief 

Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved. Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In Love

Box breathing method: https://www.rebeccalucyh.com/blogposts/box-breathing-technique-to-reduce-anxiety-and-relax 

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here.

Visit The Date with Confidence website here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s talk about red flags in dating.

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I’m answering a number of questions about whether something is a red flag and you should run a mile or if you’re simply being oversensitive and you need to work on your self esteem.

(Spoiler alert: you’re not being sensitive).

Here are the questions I answer - is it a red flag if a man:

1. Refers to women in a derogatory way?

2. Unmatches you on a dating app immediately after getting your number?

3. Updates his dating profile after organising a fourth date with you?

4. Is on multiple dating apps?

5. Has been in multiple relationships but has never been in love?

6. Doesn’t have social media?

7. Mainly follows women on Instagram?

8. Takes a while for messages to be delivered on Whatsapp?

9. Speaks about his ex in a nasty way/is rude about his ex?

10. Lies about the number of people he’s slept with?

11. Stops replying at 7pm and tells me he’s fallen asleep? 

12. Has slept with a lot of women (close to 100)?

13. Asks if I’m out on the pull when we’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months?

The quicker you raise your relationship standards and stick to the boundaries you set for yourself, the quicker you’ll meet the green flag guy you’ve always deserved

And to show you exactly how to do that, I’m running a brand new FREE masterclass called The Dating Debrief where I’ll be revealing how I went from anxious, codependent and unable to speak up in relationships to confidently dating, able to set solid boundaries, and having the time of my (love) life. 

Sign up here: https://rebeccalucyh.co/debrief 

Get The Confidence Course for FREE when you join Level Up In Love

Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved.

Think: a private group chat with your besties where you can talk about dating dilemmas, how to confidently communicate your wants, needs and desires, get support after a shitty dating experience and celebrate all the positive moments in your dating and relationship journey. 

Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In Love

Episodes mentioned:

Am I Delusional? 

I Know What I Deserve Now

He Lied About His Age

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Visit The Date with Confidence website here.

Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You deserve your dream relationship. And in order to get that, you need to put yourself out there.

But putting yourself out there can feel pretty terrifying, can’t it?

In this episode of The Date With Confidence Podcast, I'm sharing how to be confident in yourself when you’re dating so you can get that dream relationship you deserve.

1. The Importance of Confidence: Confidence is a game-changer in dating and life. It enables you to be your authentic self, connect more deeply, and communicate effectively.

2. Building Confidence: Overcoming fears associated with dating requires asking a powerful question: What scares you more, putting yourself out there or reaching 90 years old without the loving relationship you dream of?

3.  Reasons Confidence Matters in Dating: We take an in depth look at the many reasons working on your confidence should be a priority if you’re in your dating era.

5. Three Layers of Confidence: We look at reframing your thoughts about dating, taking practical steps like using confidence anchors, embracing the discomfort of leaving your comfort zone and cultivating a lasting confidence that permeates all aspects of your life, enhancing your dating experiences.

Remember, the more confident you become, the closer you are to manifesting your dream relationship. If you want to explore these concepts further, check out the recommended episodes and The Confidence Course. Here's to dating with confidence and finding the love you deserve!

Get The Confidence Course for FREE when you join Level Up In Love

Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved.

Think: a private group chat with your besties where you can talk about dating dilemmas, how to confidently communicate your wants, needs and desires, get support after a shitty dating experience and celebrate all the positive moments in your dating and relationship journey. 

Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In Love

Resources mentioned:

Your Dream Relationship Exists

Am I Delusional? 

How to Handle Rejection

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

Mindset Shifts You Need to Make

Important Things I Tell Myself

How to Act & Feel Confident Before a First Date

The (Dis)Comfort Zone Come Down

Contribute to the podcast here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A few weeks ago, I was having a little scroll on TikTok and a video popped up in my feed: Psychological Tricks to Make a Man Fall In Love With You.

I’ve got a few thoughts and feelings about this so in this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I thought I’d share with you my own tips and tricks to make a man fall in love with you. 

These are the greatest tools you’ll ever learn and will not only help you find love with someone else, but will also help you fall head over heels in love with yourself…

Here’s what we covered:

1. What I Really Think: I’m openly sharing my thoughts on using psychological tricks to make someone fall in love with you and emphasising the desire for genuine connections built on authenticity.

2. Desiring Love for Who You Are: I reveal how I want someone to fall in love with me and the foundations I want our romantic relationship to be built upon.

3. Building Self-Confidence: I uncover simple yet powerful techniques to help you transform your inner narrative so you never feel like you need to reach for external tricks to be attractive to someone. 

4. Acting Confident: We discuss utilising tools like grooming and dressing well to enhance self-confidence as well as surrounding yourself with confident individuals, limiting exposure to negativity.

5. Feeling Confident: We’re looking at the link between body confidence and the perceived need of psychological tricks plus how to improve your body confidence with one simple tool. 

Don’t forget to check out Level Up In Love: A 3 month close-proximity coaching container dedicated to helping you date with confidence, build better boundaries, raise your relationship standards and finally manifest the dream relationship you've always deserved.

Think: a private group chat with your besties where you can talk about dating dilemmas, how to confidently communicate your wants, needs and desires, get support after a shitty dating experience and celebrate all the positive moments in your dating and relationship journey. 

Early Bird Discount Expires 17th March 2024: Level Up In Love

Resources mentioned:

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

The Confidence Kit

The Confidence Course

Build Body Confidence

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Visit The Date with Confidence website here.

Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram + follow your host Rebecca Hawkes here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you ready to level up in love?

In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I delve into the crucial aspects of levelling up in love, drawing from personal experiences and insights.

We cover a LOT in this ep, here’s a tiny overview:

1. Mindset Tips for Levelling Up: We’re starting this episode by exploring in depth 3 powerful mindset tools you can use to help you improve your dating life whether you’re just getting started or you’ve been seeing someone for a while. 

2. Learning to Be Less Reactive: We’re highlighting the significance of managing your reactions in new relationships. Instead of impulsively expressing emotions, I’m sharing exactly what I do to allow me to communicate from a calmer, more objective standpoint.

3. Remove the Mask: We couldn’t ignore the importance of authenticity when it comes to dating! I talk about why it’s ok if your opinion is different to someone else’s and how I felt confident using my voice again.

4. Striking the Balance Around Vulnerability: Finding a balance between openness and oversharing is crucial. I’m sharing my experience of being excessively vulnerable early on in relationships, leading to vulnerability hangovers and potential misunderstandings.

5. Understanding Triggers: I’m opening up about how I navigate moments where past traumas influence my reactions to seemingly simple situations. 

6. Observation vs Criticism: Using this simple phrase has helped me to not only communicate things better with the person I’m dating but it’s also allowed me to reassure myself in moments where, historically, I’d have felt rejected.

7. Stop Ignoring Intuition:  We’re acknowledging the importance of intuition during dating and I’m sharing practical tips for how to build a deeper connection with yourself. I share personal experiences of ignoring my intuition and the subsequent lessons I learned.

8. Anxiety vs Butterflies:  We’re distinguishing between anxiety and the excitement of butterflies. My suggestion is to get curious about these feelings, practising self-soothing techniques and resetting the nervous system for better emotional well-being.

We end the episode stressing the value of self-validation and I invite you to explore Level Up In Love, a brand new three-month program aimed at helping you date with confidence, set better boundaries and manifest a healthy relationship.

Find out more here: Level Up In Love

Episodes mentioned:

This Simple Concept Will Help You Date with Confidence

Your Dream Relationship Exists: Here’s How to Believe In It

How to Deal with Rejection When You’re Dating

Am I Delusional?

Watch the video on the (Dis)Comfort Zone Come Down

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ready for some pre-date stalking and a potentially awkward kiss?

It’s another cringe-filled dating story!

In this episode of The Date With Confidence Podcast, I’m sharing all the gossip about the first two dates I went on with Tech Guy and why I chose not to see him again (despite agreeing to the third date initially).

Here’s what we cover:

1. Online Stalking Revelation: Working in tech means he’s a stalking pro apparently. There’s a fine line between honesty and over-sharing, what side of the line do you think this was?

2. Positive First Impressions: I talk about the positive aspects of the first date, from finding him attractive to the cosy little venue he’d booked and engaging conversation.

3. Deal-Breaker Dilemma: We had an uncomfortable discussion about relationship deal-breakers on the way to the tube which left me questioning myself and my standards. 

4. Quizzie Rascals: Date number two saw us teaming up in a pub quiz. But there were a few moments where I felt myself shrinking due to his behaviour. Not what you want from a potential partner.

5. Train Station Awkwardness: Discover the moment that made me cringe harder than I ever have and ultimately led me to cancelling the third date we’d planned.

Whilst this episode contains a funny story about my dating life, it also shares the importance of holding onto personal standards and boundaries in the dating world….

Episodes mentioned:

My First Date of 2024: Everything You Need to Know

You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind at ANY Point

How to Cancel a Date with the ‘Nice One’

Get Involved!

You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.  

Resources

• The Breakup Bounce Back
• The Confidence Kit
• The Confidence Course

Visit The Date with Confidence website here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Follow The Date with Confidence Podcast on Instagram + follow your host Rebecca Hawkes here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.