The Daves you know breathe sighs of relief over a Real Salt Lake victory, have polar opposite expectations against Portland, and debate the cause of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles' breakup.

The Daves you know are joined by Wes Burdine for some Heath criticism, some team politics criticism, and to celebrate an incredible and improbable Daves I Know charity soccer triumph.

The Daves you know spent an unforgettable night in Atlanta, watched an unforgettable win against LAFC, and accidentally carjacked an Uber driver.

The Daves you know slog through an Orlando City recap, expect some squad rotation for Heineken Rivalry Week Brought To You By Heineken, and one Dave predicts only four (!) points from Minnesota United the rest of the season.

The Daves you know welcome Pioneer Press reporter Andy Greder to talk Colorado, Orlando, writing about Minnesota United, and some singalongs.

The Daves you know disagree on how patient to be about Minnesota's loss to Dallas, expect good things against Colorado, and recount the sad ballad of "Mean" Mike Petke.

The Daves you know celebrate mutual wars of attrition against Portland, expect more of the same from them on Wednesday, are not impressed by Dallas, and implore Americans to murder slightly less.

The Daves review the Real Salt Lake match, preview the ass beating the Vancouver Canucks are about to get from MNUFC, discuss the ghosts of Saint Paul's water, Dave & Luke stall for time and Darwin Quintero is rockin' some #chillvibes

The Daves you know toast a great winning streak, share measured optimism about a road game against Real Salt Lake, and contemplate a new economic indicator.

The Daves are back to discuss the Montreal Meltdown, how neither of us is prepared for someone to murder us in our houses, "preview" New Mexico United and FC Dallas, and discuss the cremation of pets, something Martin had no fucking idea was actually a thing.