I don't feel well but I'm still here delivering top quality content. Today I talk about my dick, my son's dick and the difference between me and my son (we have very different dicks).

Extracting horse semen by the bucketload, dogs getting stuck together post-coital and I ask the big quesgtion: is George Michael dead or not? I can't remember.

I talk about Christmas, fingers, baby snot, puppy nappies and I answer some of your questions. 

I have a lenghty but reasonable rant about my noisy son and my sick wife, why I don't like the city and why tv shows aren't as good as we remember them being.

I rant about parties, children, children's parties and I justify why I willed a plane to crash. 

We take a long, hard look at my stupidity. I recall my desire to be a astronaut, my training as a deep sea diver and I answer some more of your questions.

Today I declare war on Jehovah's Witnesses and I rant about a few things that have annoyed me today, including bees, cold callers, gorillas and my son pretending to die.

Today I talk about my trip to a petting zoo, I brag about how much sleep I've been getting and I respond to a complaint with all the grace you might expect.

I rant about Thomas the Tank Engine, my son shits himself and makes us late for his doctors appointment and I feed ham to the fish.

In this episode I talk about a kangaroo that was an inconvenience, a female woman driver who almost killed me and I answer more of your questions even though I was really sleepy and my ankles were sore.