The Davina Podcast

"BE AWESOME"

A couple of years ago that 👆quote was being said everywhere

Posters were being made

It was a thing

It was trendy to have stuff that SAID: be awesome.

What does it even mean to BE AWESOME?

Let's make a list:

Know who you are

Show up big

Do hard things

Be on fire

Create epic stuff

Be willing to do scary ideas

Not back down

Stay positive

Have courage

Don't listen to haters

Keep going

All of these are good.

Inspiring.

What about:

🌟Loving yourself even when you don't want to get out of bed in the morning

🌟Letting yourself take a nap

🌟Noticing your body and listening to it

🌟Saying no

🌟Going to bed when you want to stay up late

🌟Turing off your phone

🌟Letting yourself be sad or mad or glad or frustrated and feeling into it on purpose

🌟Celebrating yourself

🌟Giving yourself a pat in the back

🌟Having a one person dance party when you hit that goal: big or small

🌟Taking a walk

🌟Saying yes to you

🌟Slowing down

Often, when we think of being awesome

It's the big showy positive in-your-face types of things we consider

But

The truth is

The big showy things aren't what make you awesome

I'm fact, YOU ARE ALREADY AWESOME.

YOU AND ME, we arrived on this planet with this tattooed on our soul:

AWESOME

Being awesome isn't up for debate or discussion

We already are

We may not believe it

Nothing has gone wrong if you don't believe in your own awesomeness

I didn't believe in mine

I wanted other people to tell me about my awesomeness

I looked for it in projects and accomplishments

All of us do

Until we stop

Until we start seeing the ways we've hurt ourselves

And we start putting salve on those wounds

Beginning to love our already existing awesomeness

Accepting our awesomeness

Even when we do things we don't like

It's in how we treat our selves on the way to those big showy things that make us see and love and allow our awesomeness.

Saying I love you to yourself even when you do things you wish you hadn't

Celebrating yourself when it seems too small

Seeing your fire for its ability to both burn AND warm

Loving yourself for all of it

Seeing your desire for quiet and aloneness AND being visionary

Not judging yourself for any of it

Seeing your emotionally messy self AND your ability to hold someone's pain so carefully

Be willing to love both parts of you.

Seeing you desire for structure, order, control AND your ability to make things simple for others

Embracing both without shaming yourself

Seeing your all-over-the-place-thinking-and-talking AND your bubbly engaging fun self

Giving both parts a grateful hug.

This is where your awesomeness lies.

In all of it.

Stop judging you

BE YOU:

AWESOME

What are two contrasting things about you?

Ready to embrace ALL of YOU? Click here to get started.

Previosly published here.

WARRIOR WOMEN TIP:

TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE

I spent the day at the:

Mint Art Museum

Walking around all by myself, looking at all the exhibits is my favorite…

No one to rush me or wonder why I'm taking so long.

My favorite is getting to witness the way a piece was created or the life long work of an artist.

Both types of exhibits remind me:

NOTHING HAS GONE WRONG

Even if…

•It seems like figuring something out is taking too long

•Life feels frustratingly like a hamster wheel

•My business or a project or a relationship is taking to long to see the results I want

Seeing what artists take a life time to create…

Tweak things and try again

Then try again

Put their work out there

Take more risks

Break some rules

Travel across the world to work with mentors

Seek out people they admire and don't give up until they've learned what they want to learn

Break some more rules

Sit next to artists who inspire them and do exactly what they do

Travel back across the country

Keep trying

And trying

Tweaking

Believing in their dream

Breaking their own brain rules.

Seeing these types of exhibits reminds me to zoom out on my life

EVERYTHING is going exactly the way it's supposed to…

Or else it would all be happening differently.

What date would you take yourself on?

Dates I've taken myself on:

•A random photography exhibit in a random city

•Explored a town

I had never been to

•Went to the movies in the middle of the day

•Shopped at thrift and vintage stores

•Spent hours walking through a photography exhibit featuring women National Geographic photographers

•Got ice cream

•Took a walk in a new place

If you're ready to treat yourself, sign up to coach with me. Click here.

Previously published here.

You don't have to do anything the way everyone else does.

I KNOW this may sound obvious

It's more HIDDEN than you might think, though.

STORY TIME: 📖

Just recently, I was talking to one of my coaches about doing one hour consults.

When I seemed like I didn't really like doing them she asked…

Why do you do them?

I said:

Because it's the way it's done in the industry.

WHAT?!?

Here I am the…

'Break The Rules'

'Live Unapologetically'

'Be A Warrior Woman'

'March To The Beat Of Your Most Alive Self'

Coach…

And I'm doing something I don't really love because everyone else is doing it!!!

What the heck???

See what I mean by HIDDEN?

It happens without you realizing.

You're conforming in little ways that you totally don't mean to.

No more.

The buck stops here!!

Here's the deal.

No more consults.

If you know. You know.

If you're ready to work with me, let's do it.

It's $5k for six months.

We meet weekly and blow our own minds with explosions of awesomeness.

You do the work of magic and miracles between our calls.

It's expansive and my favorite!

If you have questions, let's chat. Click the link in the show notes.

If you're done living by rules you don't want to live by but you're not even sure which ones they are…

I'm the coach for you.

We will figure that jazz out and get you living a more freaking fantastic YOU.

No more 60 min pre-consults.

WHEN YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW.

Let's go. 🔥💥🔥

Click this link to talk about working together.

Previously published here.

I got to be on Lydia Feldman's podcast talking about: The Power of Taking Selfies! If you do not know Lydia, once you listen to this podcast episode, you are going to want to follow her and be her bestie. She's effervescent, vibrant, straight talking, real, fierce, and fearless all while being relatable and ICONIC at the same time. I highly recommend signing up for her next Pleasure Salon: Elemental Courtesan. Lydia's words from this podcast episode conversation: Selfie Siren with Davina Fear! Y'all ready to break the internet (and your brain) with some LIT, sexy, powerful images of yourself? BY yourself? Selfie "culture" ala the instafamous-influencers and Kardashians gets a bad rap.... BUT what if you allowed the time and pleasure to capture radiant photos on your PHONE could change your life? Your self-concept Your confidence Your creativity Your self-trust You sexy relationship to SELF. Listen to our conversation and learn a few great tips on creating a powerful Selfie Session~ Lighting Set up Editing and getting ready mentally! Get to know Lydia Feldman: website instagram Learn More about The Selfie Siren Sessions HERE.

Warriors!

Our brains want to cancel/ignore all of our awesomeness!!

Don't let it!

This week I've done so much brave and bold stuff!

YOU HAVE, TOO!!

Last night as I was prepping for bed, my brain was like:

Wow. You've not accomplished your goals. You didn't get 50 new clients.

(Mind you, my goal was not 50 new clients but my brain likes to be VERY dramatic.)

I said to my brain:

Hold it right there, Brainiac Maniac.

You are wrong.

W-R-O-N-G

I know you like to scan for what's wrong.

I know that's your job and all so I can stay alive

And not get a fever and die

And not get kicked out of civilization

And all that

But

You are completely overreacting.

I've done A LOT OF AWESOME STUFF!!

Then I recounted a big long list of things I did this week that I'm really proud of.

I pat myself on the back for those things.

Then pat myself on the back for calling out my brain.

Then I gave myself a hug for my awesomeness.

And gave myself a hug fir my brain to tell it it's okay I've got this covered.

I know you're worried.

Then I danced it all out so I get my awesomeness in my body and not just in my head.

I'm sure if you were watching me you'd be thinking:

What the heck is happening over there?

But dancing to your own music and awesomeness is a great way to live your life.

Pause right now

Stand up

Tell yourself all your delightfully awesome ways you've been showing up

💥Tiny

💥Little

💥Sort of cool

💥Very cool

💥Big

💥Ginormous

💥No one noticed but you

💥That thing you did when you were feeling bold and brave

💥The project you started or finished

💥The mind blowing insight you had

💥The time you told your brain to shush and did the scary thing

💥The time you told your brain to zip it and didn't listen to it tell you all the ways you aren't enough

💥 When you took that nap

💥 It all counts!!

You have lots to celebrate.

I'm here to tell you…

You made it through this incredible human experience this week and you did it gloriously

Dance it out, Warrior.

DANCE. IT. OUT!!

Looking for a song?

I've got lots of celebration songs for you on Spotify. (Link in comments)

Go dance your heart out, my Dear Warrior.

I wanna hear what you're celebrating!! 🎉🎉🎉

Do tell!

Click this link to talk about working together.

Check out some awesome dance playlists on Spotify here!

Previously published here.

What if you could… 🤔🤩

Be your own magical 💫 :

•YODA who compels you to do the hard thing, take the risk, and 100% believes in you even when you doubt

•KINDNESS ADVOCATE who doesn't let you say mean things to yourself

•PERSON WHO SAYS to you "I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through, no matter what you're feeling"

•SWEET & LOYAL DOG who stays by your side and sits with you when you're sad

•MOM who rubs your back while you cry about feeling like you have no friends

•BEST FRIEND who tells you all the reasons you're awesome and everyone else is missing out

•TEACHER who says you're doing great, you're learning, and you're so proud of you

•MENTOR who believes in you and the impact you are and will have in the world.

•FORGIVER of everything you've ever said or done

•MONK who is filled with wonder at your being-ness

•YOUNGER SIBLING who thinks you are genius and believes everything you say and do is also genius

•DELIVERER from your past regrets

•PEACEMAKER with who you are and who you aren't

•DAD who protects you and keeps you secure

•GRANDPA who speaks deep wisdom to you with zero judgement

•LIGHT GIVER who helps you see both your light and gently shines light into your places the light has not yet reached

•MERCIFUL BENEFACTOR who bestows mercy on yourself when you say something weird or want to lean toward beating yourself up

•THE RICH RELATIVE who gave you so much money

•LOVE GURU who pours out love on you every second of the day, who believes you are lovable no matter what is going on with you.

•GRANDMA who loves you when it feels like the world is against you and bakes you cookies, hugs you every time you need it, and kisses you on the forehead.

•WIZARD who knows the magical and cryptic things to say or do that help you tap into your own strength, magic, and genius

We see these awesome people depicted in movies or books and believe we should have had that kind of person in our life.

Sometimes we look around and think everyone else got all these people in their lives and we didn't.

Stop looking around.

Instead…

Be all these things to yourself.

Choose one of the above. Be that to you today. 💛

Believe all of these people are within you, ready to help you and guide you.

You deserve it. 💕🥰

Want to share the one you chose? Please do! Tell me in the comments. 😁

Click this link to talk about working together.

Previously published here.

You've done something you're totally proud of, at some point, right?

Like totally thought you rocked it?

And then….

Bum bu bummmm….

Your brain comes in like a freight train T-boning a car sitting on the tracks and says:

Wow. You sure messed that up.

What were you thinking?

Why did you say that?

You took over the conversation.

You are so selfish.

You don't ever think about other people.

You only think about yourself.

You're too much.

You're over the top.

People are not going to like you now.

You're kind of a joke.

No one really cares about what you have to say.

If this has ever happened to you…

You're not alone.

Not only that…

News flash:

You're human.

We both are.

Because I, too, have had this happen to me.

Recently.

Here's what I realized.…

Two things you can do, in this episode.

Click this link to talk about working together.

Previously published here.

Have you ever said, "I feel like I'm sabotaging myself?"

You're right. Kind of. It's not your fault, though.

Here's why…

Brains have two parts:

Primitive

Pre-frontal cortex

They basically like OPPOSITE things.

If you sometimes feel like you're fighting with yourself or constantly torn between two things…

Guess what?

Nothing has gone wrong AND

You are not a mutant.

One part of our brain loves routine.

It gets all giddy about doing the same thing over and over and over again.

This part of your brain loves familiarity, comfort, pleasure, and it does everything it can to avoid pain.

We love this part of our brain!

It's what keeps our heart beating regularly and all of our blood flowing like it's supposed to.

It the part that does everything it can to keep our body at the exact same temperature all the time.

It does all of this without you even being aware.

It all happens under the radar.

So when we get a fever, it freaks out until it gets us back into the same old, boring, keeping us in, you know…

Loving, breathing, homeostasis mode.

If you've ever said, "I just did that without even thinking."

You were most likely operating from this part of your brain.

This is the place you drive a car from if you've been driving for years.

It's basically the auto pilot of your life.

Not as helpful when you're trying to stop eating crap. 😫😕

Or start loving your dreams of being a writer or starting a business

You know…the stuff that scares you a little or is NOT routine.

It's kind of the whole "old dog that doesn't want to learn new tricks" mode of your brain.

Second part of your brain: Pre-frontal cortex

It LOVES novelty, new things, growth, new opportunities, spontaneity, change.

It's the part of your brain that lights up when you feel a new feeling, do something new.

It's not as reliable as your primitive brain but it can be trained.

This is the puppy version of your brain. Excitable but trainable.

Both parts are capable of change but one part is more willing than the other part.

If you're trying to:

•Change your eating habits

•Create a new routine

•Do something you've never done before

•Meet new people

•Go to an event by yourself

•Stop being bugged at your close family

•Start working out

•Create a business

•stop doing some habit you want to quit

•…you get the idea…

Your primitive brain is going to lay on the floor, basking in the sun and give off the vibe:

Don't fix what's not broken.

Move along. Nothing to see here.

Or get a bunch of attitude and walk away from you and lay down in another sunny spot where it doesn't have to listen to you.

On the other hand your pre-frontal cortex is going to be jumping around barking and saying:

Yes! Yes! Such a good idea!

Let's go!

This is the most epic plan ever.

I'm all in!

You're the best!

I love you!

You're so awesome!

You're a genius.

So….

If you feel like your brain is always sabotaging you…it probably is.

These two parts of your brain, when left to themselves, end up making you feel like you're in a never ending hamster wheel of trying to start new things only to fail again and again.

It's not your fault.

This is what we do in coaching:

Train that puppy brain of yours so the old dog part of your brain doesn't feel so annoyed when you attempt to make those awesome changes. 👍

We watch the old dog part, see all the patterns and things it does on auto pilot.

The daily ways it acts and the vibe it gives off.

We notice it's attitude.

That awareness is the starting point.

It makes a MUCH bigger difference than you would think to be able to see all of its patterns out in the wild.

Suddenly, they don't seem wild or untamed at all.

You see exactly what that old dog is doing and it kind of makes you laugh how tame it is.

And at how it likes to hide behind making you think it's so wild and untame-able.

The truth is…

It just wants to be seen.

Old dogs (primitive brains) CAN learn new tricks!

I promise.

Ready to teach your brain some new tricks? Click HERE.

Previously published HERE.

I love The Lord of the Rings.

I've not read the book. I've watched the movies MANY times!

Eowyn is one of my favorite warriors in this series.

I decided to research more about her and discovered some awesomeness. No surprise.

Enjoy this episode!

If you'd like to bring out your Warriorness more, click HERE. Let's chat!

Previously published here.

Maybe you're disappointed… In you.

In the way you're showing up.

In who you are being.

Knowing what you've been thinking, feeling, doing or NOT thinking, feeling, doing...

It makes you want to:

Be hard on yourself…

Beat yourself up…

Say a few mean things to yourself.

You and me…

We are human.

Our brains do this.

They think they are helping.

The truth is…

What really helps, is this…

Notice you've been judging yourself.

Thinking unhelpful or unkind or unloving thoughts about you or maybe about someone else.

SIDE NOTE:

You're not alone. I have totally done this! Many times!!

I realize I'm judging someone else or myself.

I feel terrible.

I think things like: why you gotta be like that?

In no time, I'm piling shame on myself.

And then I want to stop so I tell myself:

I'm going to think something nice about them…

Or about me.

If you try to jump to all the positives right away, too, I invite you to pause right there.

STOP.

Before you start trying to think of something nice and positive and upbeat to say or do…

Instead…

Tell yourself:

Of course, you're thinking unkind things about yourself.

You're not showing up the way you want to show up.

I love you anyway.

I know it can be scary to compare yourself.

I know you don't want to do it.

I love you and I'm here for you.

You don't have to beat yourself up about it.

I know you.

I love you.

All the parts of you.

The parts that get jealous

And the parts that are confident.

You don't have to be unkind to yourself to be loveable.

I love you in your struggles and in your triumphs.

I'm here for you.

I'll always have your back.

I understand where you're at right now

And I love you.

You've got this.

Next time you start to beat yourself up, before you jump to trying to be a better person right away…

Experiment with loving yourself

Even when you feel a mess.

Notice what happens.

To find out more about coaching with Davina, click here.

Previously published here.