The Desire Line

From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. This is another preview episode of this new podcast, which you can find and subscribe to at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. But wait...there's more! Be excited, because new content is coming from Susette right here in the Desire Line Podcast feed very soon!

From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. Because--as you may remember--the right naming of things is the beginning of wisdom.

Enjoy this episode from Brandon's new podcast, and then come join the party by subscribing. You can find it at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And...look out for new (amazing) content coming from Susette, right here in the Desire Line podcast feed!

Brandon and Susette announce, The Desire Line Podcast is coming to an end. In this final episode they reminisce over their favorite memories from the past 3 years and recognize the wonderful content produced and relationships formed because of it. Susette and Brandon have exciting projects coming up; to stay up to date on them follow their social media channels.

Until we meet again, may we all have the courage to walk the desire line...

We jumped on mic for a bit for a raw episode talking about the CoronaVirus, Social Distancing, and how we're coping with this change.  

Brandon identified the difference between Resistance and Acceptance, and aligned it with the normal emotional process of first fighting & resisting change and things we can't control, and the freedom that comes from accepting reality and leaning in.  Susette walked us through the serenity prayer & the 12 steps, which is a character development process that we all can use.  Especially Susette =)

I hope you enjoy this off-the-cuff episode.  

We care about you.  We're all doing our best.  Give yourself, and your people, grace as we're in this experience. 

We are finishing our arc on abuse and discussion on recovery from abuse. Susette and Brandon bring up how family of origin affect abuse experiences, common phrases they hear that dismiss abuse, and the importance of creating boundaries on the path to forgiveness. There is no limit to how much we can thrive and flourish.

Coping skills created from family of origin: the good and the bad.

Functioning in the midst of dysfunction.

Not judging and not comparing 

Common phrases that minimizes and ignores a victim's pain.

Before forgiveness can happen boundaries need to be set that provide physical and emotional safety.

RESOURCES

Susette and Brandon wrap up our arc on abuse by talking about recovery and how we can flourish, thrive and triumph in the face of our trauma. In this episode Susette shares experiences in which her body and mind show in a miraculous way how they are intertwined and Brandon calls us to live in compassion, not comparison, for ourselves and others who are in trauma.

Recognizing and naming abuse.

Triggers

How the body reacts to triggers of abuse: reclaiming the value of the body

Disassociation

The importance of categorizing negative experiences as trauma and/or abuse while not comparing those experiences to others.

RESOURCES

Last episode we continued our discussion on  spiritual abuse. This week Brandon Cook shares a sermon he gave titled Forgiving Reality. In light of our arc on abuse we have explored the place forgiveness has on our path to healing from our trauma. Brandon takes the discussion a step further by suggesting that we have the choice to also forgive reality and the difficult circumstances and truths it brings.

Join us as we continue our conversation on spiritual abuse as we strive for differentiation and being well informed to identify health church relationships.

"Spiritual Abuse is when someone use their spiritual authority or manipulates your natural spiritual longings to have power over you..." Brandon Cook.

Power can come from hierarchy and position such as created by the influence of the business model and the church.

We can decide what kind of power your pastor has.

"And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven" Matthew 23:9

“Classically, there are three ways in which humans try to find transcendence--religious meaning--apart from God as revealed through the cross of Jesus: through the ecstasy of alcohol and drugs, through the ecstasy of recreational sex, through the ecstasy of crowds." - Eugene Peterson 

As a leader there is a danger to find "ecstasy in crowds," and feed into ones own hype.

"Superpastor" problem 

RESOURCES

Susette and Brandon explore the topic of spiritual abuse. They recognize that leaders who have authority of the spiritual lives of others have a great impact however a powerful ability to hurt those they lead. 

They call us to view our pastors and other spiritual leaders in appropriate roles. As well as pointing out to leaders some of their followers may project their God, paternal, or maternal images onto them. Although the person of authority has responsibility to refrain from abusing their power we all have the ability to sustain healthy boundaries in these relationships. 

Spiritual Abuse - a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain POWER and CONTROL over another.

RESOURCES

Susette and Brandon discuss what qualifies as emotional abuse and what does not. Although it is difficult to identify emotional abuse, they outline language and tools to help us be aware of the possible unhealthy power dynamics of relationships. 

"Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use physical hitting, kicking, pinching, grabbing, pushing, or other physical forms of harm. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his or her weapon of choice.” - (See the article attached from Psychology Today)

Gaslighting: a form of psychological manipulation.

Codependent relationships and lack of differentiation in relationship can be a cause of emotional abuse

Pervasive Behaviors are good indicators of the presence of emotional abuse.

The heightened sensitivity non-reciprocal relationships have to covert abuse.

Emotional Abuse by Andrea Matthews of Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse

Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest by Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D.

RESOURCES