The Desire Line

Hey Desire Line family!

We are back with another episode in our series on Understanding The Bible. Today we dive back into human development and the ways it mirrors spiritual development, seen throughout the history of the bible. We use Erik Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development to examine books of the bible and how early Christians stop defining themselves by the rules, and begin defining themselves as a people of God.

In typical Desire Line tradition, there are at least two unplanned song breaks, so you really don't want to miss this one!

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Richard Rohr OFM is an American author, spiritual writer, and Franciscan friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He was ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church in 1970. He has been called "one of the most popular spirituality authors and speakers in the world."

"Heaven is important but it's not the end of the world" - NT WRIGHT

Parable Of The Mustard Seed

Rohr says: "Walter Brueggeman connects the story of the Hebrew Scriptures with the development of human consciousness. Brueggemann identifies different stages in the three major parts of the Hebrew Scriptures: the Torah, the Prophets, and the Wisdom literature.

The Torah, or the first five books, correspond, Brueggemann says, to the good and necessary "first half of life." This is the period in which the people of Israel were given their identity through law, tradition, structure, certitude, group ritual, clarity, and chosenness."

Erik Homburger Erikson was a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings.

Healthy self-criticism helps you realize you are not that good, and your group is not the only chosen people. It begins to break down either/or, dualistic thinking as you realize all things are both good and bad. This makes idolatry of anything and war against anybody much less likely. The prophets do not have much good to say about Israel, and thus seem to have all been killed (Matthew 23:31-32).

-Richard Rohr

Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Isaiah 58

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

" Universalism," in its simple and proper theological sense, is the doctrine of universal salvation; or in other words, of the final holiness and happiness of all humans, to be effected by the grace of God, through the ministry of his Son, Jesus Christ.

Click here to listen to Episode 15 of The Desire Line

24 'May the Lord bless you

and protect you.

25 May the Lord smile on you

and be gracious to you.

26 May the Lord show you his favor

and give you his peace.'

I Don't Want It by DC Talk

Lyrics: https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics

The Best Part:

S-e-x is test when I'm pressed So back up off with less of that zest Impress this brother with a life of virtue The innocence that's spent is gonna hurt you Safe is the way they say to play Then again safe ain't safe at all today So just wait for the mate that's straight from god Don't have sex 'til you tie the knot

We are back again with another episode in our arc on Understanding The Bible.

In a decidedly lighter episode, we discuss how the development of scripture mirrors human development and human psychology. We go through M. Scott Pecks Four Stages Of Spiritual Development and how it ties in directly to the development of scripture in the history of the bible. We tackle everything from living and wrestling with our own stages and how that relates to our relationship with scripture to a lengthly tangent discussing personalizing tv theme songs to sing to loved ones in our life. It's a fun one!

Let's dive in.

Click here to learn more about Reinvent Ministries

Genesis 1:28

Isaiah 6

John 17: 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

Original Righteousness is a concept in Roman Catholic theology relating to the Edenic state of sinlessness. According to this doctrine, Adam and Eve were created without sin (a point that all Christian churches agree upon), and this original righteousness meant that a number of conditions that are now "natural" did not apply. Humans were, in such a state, united with their essence, and therefore their forms were, as their spirits, untainted.

Mark 4:30-32

And He said, "How shall we picture the kingdom of God, or by what parable shall we present it? "It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the soil, though it is smaller than all the seeds that are upon the soil, yet when it is sown, it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and forms large branches; so that the birds of the air can nest under its shade."

Galatians 3:24-26 New International Version (NIV)

So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.

Scott Peck 4 Stages Of Spiritual Development

Stage I is chaotic, disordered, and reckless. Very young children are in Stage I. They tend to defy and disobey, and are unwilling to accept a will greater than their own. They are extremely egoistic and lack empathy for others. Many criminals are people who have never grown out of Stage I.

Stage II is the stage at which a person has blind faith in authority figures and sees the world as divided simply into good and evil, right and wrong, us and them. Once children learn to obey their parents and other authority figures, often out of fear or shame, they reach Stage II. Many so-called religious people are essentially Stage II people, in the sense that they have blind faith in God, and do not question His existence. With blind faith comes humility and a willingness to obey and serve.

Stage III is the stage of scientific skepticism and questioning. A Stage III person does not accept things on faith but only accepts them if convinced logically.

Stage IV is the stage where an individual starts enjoying the mystery and beauty of nature and existence. While retaining skepticism, he starts perceiving grand patterns in nature and develops a deeper understanding of good and evil, forgiveness and mercy, compassion and love. His religiousness and spirituality differ significantly from that of a Stage II person, in the sense that he does not accept things through blind faith or out of fear, but does so because of genuine belief, and he does not judge people harshly or seek to inflict punishment on them for their transgressions. This is the stage of loving others as yourself, losing your attachment to your ego, and forgiving your enemies.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Matthew 18

Romans 13 & 14

1st Corinthians 8

Walter Brueggemann is an American Protestant Old Testament scholar and theologian who is widely considered one of the most influential Old Testament scholars of the last several decades

Click Here to find classes by Rikk Watts

How To Read The Bible Book By Book

Prayer of Examen

How do we read scripture through the filter of Jesus, shifting the focus of our faith?

We are now on our 3rd episode in our arc on Understanding The Bible. In this episode we talk about reading scripture as a story of ongoing development, the revelation of who God is in Jesus and how the understanding of a deeper meaning is a transformed heart.

Dive in with us.

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Purchase Brandon's Book!

To read more on the Nazi's use of Romans 13 to justify evil click here

John Knox was a Scottish minister, theologian, and writer who was a leader of the country's Reformation. He is the founder of the Presbyterian Church of Scotland.

John 16:7 Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.

"You need more than just scripture, you need divine understanding"

"Jesus is the only perfect revelation of god"

John 17:6-26

Heretic: person holding an opinion at odds with what is generally accepted

Exodus 34

Habakkuk 3:4 His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise. Rays of light flash from his hands, where his awesome power is hidden.

Job 38

Theodicy def: the vindication of divine goodness and providence in view of the existence of evil

The Book of Job is set in the Land of Uz

The story of Job was written down during the early Second Temple era (late 6th century BCE to the early 4th century BCE)

Lament: a passionate expression of grief or sorrow

Isaiah 58

Galatians 3:24 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus

Galatians 4:4 But when the fullness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law,

More reading on M Scott Peck's Stages Of Spiritual Development

Listen to the best song ever: Fergalicious

Listen to: the Kids Incorporated theme

Roger Rabbit Shave and Haircut Clip

Ephesians 3:16-19 NLT I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Further Up Further in is from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Part three of Understanding The Bible is here! In this episode, we discuss our 'patron saint of the podcast', NT Wright and his thoughts on viewing the bible "from 20,000 feet".

We discuss how NT breaks down scripture into 5 acts and how they ultimately serve as a love story of restoration between Creator and his beloved Creation, now embodied and personified in the church.

N.T. WRIGHT is the former Bishop of Durham in the Church of England and one of the world's leading Bible scholars. He is now serving as the Chair of New Testament and Early Christianity at the School of Divinity at the University of St. Andrews. For twenty years he taught New Testament studies at Cambridge, McGill and Oxford Universities. His award-winning books include The Case for the Psalms, How God Became King, Simply Jesus, After You Believe, Surprised by Hope, Simply Christian, Scripture and the Authority of God, The Meaning of Jesus (co-authored with Marcus Borg), as well as being the translator for The Kingdom New Testament. He also wrote the impressive Christian Origins and the Question of God series, including The New Testament and the People of God, Jesus and the Victory of God, The Resurrection of the Son of God and most recently, Paul and the Faithfulness of God.

'Each word must be understood within its own verse, each verse within its on chapter, each chapter within its own book, and each book within its own historical, cultural, and indeed canonical setting.'

-NT Wright

Cognitive Dissonance: the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

Complementarianism: a theological view held by some in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, that men and women have different but complementary roles and responsibilities in marriage, family life, religious leadership, and elsewhere. The word "complementary" and its cognates are currently used to denote this view.

Ephesians 5

Story of Philemon

NT Wright - Audio (For long commutes)

The Bible In Five Acts

Creation

Fall

Israel

Jesus

Church

Revelation 22

Genesis 3

Genesis 6

Genesis 12

Centering prayer: is a modernized prayer method based on the intuitive prayer rooted in Lectio Divina. It is a method of silent prayer that prepares us to receive the gift of contemplative prayer, prayer in which we experience the Divine's immanent presence with us. Centering prayer is grounded in relationship with God, through Christ, and is a practice to nurture that relationship.

The Lord's Prayer New King James:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

The Lord's Prayer by Dallas Willard

Dear Father always near us,

may your name be treasured and loved,

may your rule be completed in us-

may your will be done here on earth in

just the way it is done in heaven.

Give us today the things we need today,

and forgive us our sins and impositions on you

as we are forgiving all who in any way offend us.

Please don't put us through trials,

but deliver us from everything bad.

Because you are the one in charge,

and you have all the power, and the glory too is all yours-forever-

which is just the way we want it!

Polemic: a strong verbal or written attack on someone or something.

Rikk Watts: served as Regent College's Professor of New Testament from 1996-2016. Along with his position as a Research Professor with Regent, he is currently the Dean of Theology at Alphacrucis College in Australia.

The Tyger By William Blake

Towards the end of the episode, Brandon mentions that Susette will do an exercise, but we forgot! Check out Lectio Divina at the end of Ep 33 for a method for reading the bible with a posture of "Listening for God's Voice."

Please rate, review & subscribe to The Desire Line Podcast--it really helps us to get the word out!

Do you relate to the Bible primarily as an orientation to right and wrong or as the story of God pursuing man? Are you willing to wrestle with it?

For the second episode in our arc on Understanding The Bible, we dive straight into the history of the text itself. If you are a lover of some good ol' historical context, this episode is for you!

We discuss Jesus's own relationship with scripture; how our understanding and idea of what the bible is has shaped our spiritual development; God's willingness to get on the level of his people and help those to seek to understand; and a musical rendition of all 66 books in the Christian Bible? Stay tuned.

Matthew 3:17: And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

Matthew 4:1-11

Psalm 91

Deuteronomy 6-8

Mason: a builder and worker in stone.

Apocrypha are works, usually written, of unknown authorship or of doubtful origin. Biblical Apocrapha is a set of texts included in the Latin Vulgate and Septuagint but not in the Hebrew Bible. While Catholic tradition considers some of these texts to be deutercanononical , Protestants consider them apocryphal. Thus, Protestant bibles do not include the books within the Old Testament but have often included them in a separate section.

Click here to read Bel and the Dragon

Click here to read The Maccabees

Click here for David Dungan, Constantine's Bible: Politics and the Making of the New Testament

Romans 1

Psalms 19 : The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

Matthew 13:58: And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith

Matthew 22:32: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. He is not the God of the dead but of the living.

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Ways to connect to Brandon & Susette:

Join our Facebook Group: Desire Line Podcast Community

Twitter: @mydesireline @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook

Instagram: @brandonalancook @susette.magana.therapy

Please rate, review & subscribe to The Desire Line Podcast--it really helps us to get the word out!

Do you relate to the Bible primarily as an orientation to right and wrong or as the story of God pursuing man? Are you willing to wrestle with it?

For the first episode in our arc on Understanding The Bible, we dive straight into the history of the text itself. If you are a lover of some good ol' historical context, this episode is for you!

We discuss Jesus's own relationship with scripture; how our understanding and idea of what the bible is has shaped our spiritual development; God's willingness to get on the level of his people and help those to seek to understand; and a musical rendition of all 66 books in the Christian Bible? Stay tuned.

Matthew 3:17: And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

Matthew 4:1-11

Psalm 91

Deuteronomy 6-8

Mason: a builder and worker in stone.

Apocrypha are works, usually written, of unknown authorship or of doubtful origin. Biblical Apocrapha is a set of texts included in the Latin Vulgate and Septuagint but not in the Hebrew Bible. While Catholic tradition considers some of these texts to be deutercanononical , Protestants consider them apocryphal. Thus, Protestant bibles do not include the books within the Old Testament but have often included them in a separate section.

Click here to read Bel and the Dragon

Click here to read The Maccabees

Click here for David Dungan, Constantine's Bible: Politics and the Making of the New Testament

Romans 1

Psalms 19 : The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

Matthew 13:58: And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith

Matthew 22:32: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. He is not the God of the dead but of the living.

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Ways to connect to Brandon & Susette:

Join our Facebook Group: Desire Line Podcast Community

Twitter: @mydesireline @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook

Instagram: @brandonalancook @susette.magana.therapy

Click here to find Brandon's new book!

"Be still and know that I am God".

How many times have we found ourselves wrought with feelings of anxious obligation when it comes to making time to be with God? For many of us, the time needs to look like silent prayer, meditation or other spiritual practices with an emphasis on stilling our bodies to be more susceptible to what God has to say to us.

In an engaging and insightful interview, we speak with friend and pastor, Mike Goldsworthy. Mike challenges that idea by speaking about the impact of engaging in tangible, physical movement as a spiritual practice; otherwise known as Embodied Prayer.

Click here to learn more about Dallas Willard

Click here to read The Divine Conspiracy

Click here to read more on Spiritual Practices by Dallas Willard

It is vital that Christians in every generation learn to discern what matters, to distinguish things that differ, to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. NT Wright

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. H. L. Mencken

Join our facebook group: Desire Line Podcast Community to connect to us and other listeners.

Website: www.desirelinepodcast.com Twitter: @mydesireline and @brandonalancook Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook

Find Mike Goldsworthy on Twitter at @mikegoldsworthy, or hear Mike preached on Parkcrest Christian Church's podcast "Parkcrest's Podcast." on Apple Podcasts

It's the final (countdown!) episode in our arc on Attachment Theory. We have all this theory, now what do we do with it?

In this episode we cover the practical application of attachment theory and what it means to be healthily and unhealthily attached in 9 different categories:

• Body
• Attitudes
• Feeling
• Behavior
• Thoughts
• Abilities
• Desires
• Choices
• Limits

Click here to read along with us.

As we read through, notice which ones strike you or speak to you. These may be areas where differentiation work can happen in your own life.

Charles Swindoll quote on attitude:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than success, than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes.

James 1

Humbly Grateful or Grumbly Hateful (re: Brandon's "What's Your Attitude")

Next, we will take you through the practical application for responding to the need for Differentiation and Healthy Attachment:

• Awareness
• Self-regulation
• Responding with courage

Click here to read more on Differentiation.

Click here to read more on Healthy Attachment.

Self Regulation (def.) :

Behavioral Self-Regulation: the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values

Emotional Self-Regulation: the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed

Click here to read through the full serenity prayer.

Please submit any question you have through https://www.desirelinepodcast.com/connect

Join our facebook group: Desire Line Podcast Community to connect to us and other listeners.

Website: www.desirelinepodcast.com Twitter: @mydesireline and @brandonalancook Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook

Don't forget to subscribe, rate & review us on iTunes! It REALLY helps us to grow.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook Twitter: @mydesireline, @susettemtherapy and @brandonalancook

Also, check out our Patreon (www.patreon.com/desirelinepodcast) if you'd like to help us to cover our production costs. Any amount is SO helpful to us. We're very thankful for you!!

Today, we're continuing the discussion on Attachment. This arc starts on Episode 25. We've talked Bonding for a few episodes, and today, we continue to discuss Boundaries. Taking a lot of our information from the books "Boundaries" by John Townsend & Henry Cloud.

"Exercising "Secure Attachment" as an adult includes learning how to have boundaries in our relationships."

Differentiation: you feel bonded enough that you can set boundaries In other words, the is feeling bonding and safe enough that you can set boundaries. It also means you can comfort yourself without having someone else having to make you okay. And you don't have to inappropriately take responsibility for someone else's feelings.

Codependency: a lack of boundaries, not "staying on your side of the fence" Taking responsibility (or over-responsibility) for someone's else's state of being rather than drawing an appropriate boundary

Without "Differentiation" we respond to FEAR (see Amygdala, Fight or Flight). AVOID...because the person's feelings are too overwhelming PLEASING...taking responsibility for their overreaction and trying to please them enough to calm them down (which trains them to be codependent) You may recognize in these the attachment types VACILLATE...pretend like the overwhelming emotion doesn't exist or then getting overburdened by it and trying to solve it and then getting angry when we can't and perhaps withdrawing again

"You're not the boss of me…" Bill Harley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1cgWL3SH2g

Dinosaurs/Hypnotize Me Mash Up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VzZi-YrkRY

John 17 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+17&version=NLT

Don't forget to subscribe, rate & review us on iTunes!

It REALLY helps us to grow.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast

Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook

Twitter: @mydesireline, @susettemtherapy and @brandonalancook

Today's episode will focus on the insecure attachment styles that are part of our relationships in adulthood. Basically--how do we deal with feelings of rejection, vulnerability and deep needs?

Our material comes from the book "How We Love," by Milan & Kay Yerkovich.

"Internal Working Model" "A cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person's interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others."

Secure Attachment Definition: From "How We Love" by Milan & Kay Yerkovich "Secure Connectors..., are comfortable with reciprocity; balanced giving and receiving in relationships.They can describe strengths and weakness in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluing. Skilled at self-reflection, Secure Connectors are able to clearly and easily communicate their feelings and needs." (www.howwelove.com)

Check out Ephesians 4 NLT... do you see the attachment theory language in this passage? https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4&version=NLT

Insecure Attachment Types from "How We Love" by Milan & Kay Yerkovich www.howwelove.com

Avoider: Coming from often affection-less homes that value independence and self-reliance, the Avoider grows up learning to just take care of themselves. The catch? They restrict their feelings and needs so they can deal with the anxiety of having little to no comfort and nurturing from their parents. -I am usually "fine," and when something bad happens I try to get over it quickly. -In my family growing up, we rarely discussed personal concerns. -I'm usually happiest when others are happy and don't want a lot from me. -I don't really think about my own feelings and needs very often. -I don't really miss my spouse or family if I'm away from them. -I need my space.

Pleaser Pleasers usually grow up in a home with an overly protective or angry critical parent. Pleaser children do everything they can to "be good" and avoid troubling their reactive parent. These kids don't get comfort: rather, they spend their energy comforting or appeasing their troublesome parent. As adults, Pleasers tend to continually monitor the moods of others around them to keep everyone happy. Eventually, they can become resentful and break down or leave the relationship. For most (or all) of my childhood I could have been described as "the good kid." I feel very upset if someone is upset or annoyed with me so I am good at "keeping peace." I seek connection and avoid rejection by anticipating and meeting others' needs. Conflict makes me uneasy and I prefer to deal with disagreement by giving in or making up for it and quickly and moving on. I have difficulty confronting or saying no and sometimes it makes me less than truthful.

VACILLATORS Growing up with an unpredictable parent, Vacillators' needs aren't top priority. Without consistent parental affection, they develop feelings of abandonment. By the time the parent feels like giving again, their child is tired of waiting and too angry to receive. As adults, Vacillators are on a quest to find the consistent love they never received as children. They idealize new relationships, but then get tired of it once life (and the relationship) gets less than perfect.

-I feel like no one has really understood what I need. -I experience internal conflict and a high level of emotional stress in relationships. -At times, I find myself picking a fight and I'm not sure why. -I've always been especially sensitive and perceptive and can tell when others are pulling away from me. -Others have said they feel like they're walking on eggshells around me.

CONTROLLERS Controllers need control to keep the vulnerable, negative feelings that they experienced in childhood from surfacing in their adult lives. Having control means having protection from the feelings of fear, humiliation and helplessness. Anger is the one emotion that is not vulnerable, so intimidation and anger are often used to keep control. Control may be highly rigid or more sporadic and unpredictable, but Controllers rarely realize the real reason they need to be in charge.

-No one protected me from harm when I was growing up, so I had to get tough and take care of myself. -Life has taught me to either "be in control" or "be controlled." -People would probably describe me as intimidating. -I prefer to solve problems on my own. -I need things to be done a certain way or I get angry. -I have few feelings about my childhood except I'm glad it's over because I wouldn't go back.

VICTIM

Kids survive a chaotic home environment by trying to "stay under the radar", making themselves as invisible as possible. They'll hide and appease, learning how to escape into their own heads to lessen the pain from their angry, violent, chaotic parents. Victims lack a sense of self-worth or personhood and are often anxious and depressed. Rather than engage, they'll resort to just "going through the motions" in order to get by. Victims may emulate their childhood home environment by pursuing a relationship with a Controller. When children are involved in such a relationship, the Victim may even inflict their suppressed anger on their children whenever the Controller is not present.

-Growing up, I experienced a great deal of intense anger and stress from a parent or parents. -I'm used to chaos and calm makes me anxious because something bad is always just around the corner. -If I spoke up more and had stronger opinions, my spouse (or other significant relationships) would be even angrier. -I feel like I'm just "going through the motions" and I'm tired and out of energy.