Dear Diary & Listeners,

I cried recording part of this episode. 

And it got me thinking...

Why did THIS episode make me cry?

What is it about my wedding that sparks the tears?

You’d think that reliving the abandonments, the emotional abuse, and all the other subpar efforts confused as love would make me sad...

I know the answer.

This episode didn’t make me cry because I was reflecting on that moment of my wedding ceremony. Tears started flowing in the studio because right then; I felt as if I may never get to experience such a meaningful moment again.

I felt hijacked. Such important meaningful moments, all hijacked by a human incapable of love and compassion.

The thing is...it’s all bullshit. We don’t just get ONE shot at happiness. We get as many as we give ourself. So this is me publicly throwing away the self-limiting doubts.

I finally feel happy again.

In this episode you will join me for my beautiful wedding in Sedona, AZ. You will also spend an evening in the emergency room. Followed by a road trip to Colorado, Dick’s self-proclaimed LEAST FAVORITE state.

Be sure to share, like, and review. Your feedback and support mean everything.

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music: Ashley England

Sound Production: Amanda L. Arnier & Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

You know how some people say, "God will never give you more than you can handle"?

After recording this episode, I found myself thinking about that phrase a lot.

The process of outlining my relationship with Dick for this podcast has been filled with sorrow, but it has also brought understanding.

There were so many painful moments I experienced during this time that had been subconsciously tucked away in a file cabinet in my mind. Unpacking those file cabinets feels like I am experiencing them again, for the first time, right along with you.

I probably have some of the same questions you all are having:

Why didn't I just let him leave for good?

How many times does Dick have to tell me he doesn't want to be with me before I actually believe him?

But the biggest question of them all is...

Why didn't leaving him ever cross my mind?

So, I did a little soul searching, and what I realized was heart-wrenching.

I subliminally laid everything I had at his feet: my money, my family, my love, my support, and my future. I continued to trust him even when he gave me every reason not to. I was scared not to trust. I was scared to lose the ONE thing I had left... Him.

God would never give me more than I can handle, right?

This week, you'll learn more about my proposal, wedding planning, and events leading up to the big day. We will uncover yet another Sugar Daddy, dissect the gambling more, and experience the worst abandonment up until this point in the story. You'll also begin to understand his explanation behind leaving, followed by our plan to fix the core problem.

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary and Listeners,

Surprise!

I had fun answering all your questions. 

Can’t wait for Tuesday! 

See you there,

Amanda

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

I had a profound realization this week. 

It's easy to view all that has happened as a loss. A devastating, painful loss. 

Recounting my relentless effort and hope left me with this overwhelming feeling of emptiness. 

How could I have given and given with absolutely nothing in return?

Why did he never feel or notice how hard I was trying to love him?

Was I actually loving him?

And then it clicked. Sometimes, the way we learn the true meaning of Unconditional Love- is by experiencing the pain of its absence. This wasn't one big L. My Try, My Consistency, My Persistence...it was all unconditional, always. 

This week you will start to see Dick's true colors start to emerge. Lies wrapped in manipulation presenting themself as love are sprinkled all over this episode. You'll meet a few Sugar Daddies, Our Bishop, and find yourself front row to the epic way Dick proposed...

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

There is nothing more difficult than losing a loved one. 

The pain one experiences when they can no longer hug, kiss, smell, confide in, and share life with a loved one is unlike any other. 

Imagine experiencing this pain abruptly. There's just one difference, your loved one isn't dead. They ran away, entirely aware of the pain they knew this would cause you. 

How does one manage the stages of grief and the confusion intertwined in such a malicious act- at the hands of someone they trusted? 

It's fucking hard, but it is possible. I am proof. 

This inaugural episode of The Dichotomy Diaries is called The Sin City Serpent. You will relive with me; meeting the Mormon/Latter Day Saint (LDS) man I married. We will dive into the spiraling, dark world where his career choice lived. You will experience the love-bombing, narcissistic tendencies, and financial abuse and manipulation first hand. Together we will dissect how deep trauma bonds are formed. And how trauma responses can look different for everyone. 

You may find yourself, like me- asking these questions...

• Why does she offer love to those who treat her so poorly?

These questions and more will be answered throughout Season One. 

If you're looking for "The Tea", you have come to the right place. Every episode released will get you closer and closer to the center of what just might be, the cruelest love scam of all time.

Stay tuned for surprise BONUS episodes featuring special guests and the highly anticipated upcoming episodes featuring the NINE WOMEN who DICK got to first; and how all of this was unknown, until now.

If you're looking for an amazing story on True Crime, Narcissistic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Financial Abuse, Manipulation, Sex Work, and Spiritual Abuse. You're in the right place.

Brace yourself, this is just beginning.

With Truth, Courage, and Pain,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

The Official Trailer for The Dichotomy Diaries premiering October 10th, 2023.

Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME: your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church. 

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

Here is your second taste of what is to come in The Dichotomy Diaries.

Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME: your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church.

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries

Dear Diary & Listeners,

This is your FIRST Sneak Peek at what is to come.

Here is a taste of what to expect in The Dichotomy Diaries.

Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME- your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church.

WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY! 

If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me. 

Season Two Story Pitch Call

Email: [email protected]

Music & Sound Production: Ashley England

Patreon: The Dichotomy Diaries

Merch: The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast Storefront

YouTube: Video Recordings of Episodes!

Podcast Website: www.TheDichotomyDiaries.com

Insta: @TheDichotomyDiariesPodcast

TikTok: @TheDichotomyDiaries

Facebook: The Dichotomy Diaries