Where in Dante's Inferno would we put Donald Trump? Hard to say without SPOILERS. Well, in any case, he probably wouldn't be with Tiresias, Michael Scot (not from the Office...we THINK) and the other seers in the fourth Bad Bulge, which is wet with the tears they are crying into their own butts. Oops! 

Another spoiler: We are pedants. Not sure yet where we'll end up. Stay tuned!!

We finally get to the part where people are buried upside down! Dante throws a lot of shade at the church, and Boniface VIII makes another appearance. (A subplot we LOVE.) In this case, his bony face is about to get shoved up the butt of another simonist, aka someone who sells clerical privileges for £££. Also in store this time: Constantine! forgery! the harlot bride of someone! she-bears! and also, a special hug from Virgil. 

Yes, you read that right. BULGES. Ten of them! Damn. We are in the eighth circle now, betches! And let's just say... there are WHIPS. 

Dante's version of Geryon is kinda weird, but more importantly, what prize should we offer people who actually listen to this? That makes up the bulk of our discussion, gentle listeners. Just being honest. 

DISCLAIMER: We do not own the trademarks to Goldfish®. Bypassingly, in this episode Dante runs into some of his political heroes, who are flayed, possibly because they were gay, which is NOT something we support! (the flaying) Things end with a loud waterfall. Also Virgil takes off Dante's belt. No, really. 

The title says it all. OMG. Brunetto Latini, aka Dante's teacher whom we misnamed in the first episode, is HERE! It's a cute reunion, but Virgil gets his toga in a twist because *he* is Dante's teacher now. We conclude that Virgil is annoying, and Purgatory is probably the only place in the afterlife where sex would be fun. 

Blasphemy! Fireflakes! Rivers! Oh my! Also, the Old Man of Crete, who is just one wet wet dude. 

This one confirms once again that are definitely going to hell. 

Welcome to the SEVENTH CIRCLE folks! Not gonna lie, we forgot which canto we were on. But no matter! The Minotaur is what's up, and Jesus did some serious infrastructural damage on his most recent tourist trip. Also: centaurs who may or may not be played by Pierce Brosnan; Hammurabi's Code; sparkling anthropotaurs; a river of boiling blood. Whose blood is it? Unclear. 

FYI: Trent is NOT the same as Trieste. We are ignorant. We are so, so unqualified to make this podcast. If you haven't realized that by now, we don't know what to tell you. 

Virgil gives a VERY UNCLEAR roadmap of hell and we encounter some BAD SMELLS.  And yes, listeners, Dante does call Virgil "the sun that shines to clear a misty vision." He's such a little fanboy. It's cute but annoying. 

Also featured: Pope Anastasius (no relation to Anastasia...we THINK); a circa-2003 Razor cellphone; a cold, stinky vale and lots of SCREE; make sure you bring a whistle when you go hiking in the mountains! We are very confused about the architectural structure of hell, but the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is wild.

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