The DOGGZZONE welcomes back me, the resident clod. It's quiz time! What movie is made up of equal parts Kindergarten Cop, Cool As Ice, No Retreat No Surrender, Down To Earth, Only the Strong, Duets, Rush Hour, Rocky IV, Almost an Angel, starring an athletic alcoholic sex pest and funded by the D.A.R.E.program?

If you answered, Seanbaby's 2003 mail order classic. "Hunk Along Chastity 3, Clap Slab's Revenge" - partial credit!

The answer we were actually looking for is 1994's Kindergarten Ninja. Staring no one and featuring nothing... unless you're into montages of montages of ninja flavored slap fights. You are? Send a self addressed stamped envelope to- Oh. The ninja one. Yeah, just hit the play button.

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dennard Dayle to the DOGGZZONE! Quick, name three sexy things. Don't be shy... Correct! Clowns, Christians and beans. Heaving, gelatinous mouthfuls of steaming hot baked beans. BBQ if you're nasty. Now, imagine a book that packs all three of these, (your favorite) erotic ingredients into a violent, (also hot) action/noir. An LLM hallucination that will leave you honking and horny, (on account of those sweet whore beans you see) it's none other than Duane Laflin's titillating tome, "The Party Is Over! (The Detective Was A Clown)"

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back award winning author, Jason Pargin.

Today we watch "Terror in the Woods" also called, "These Woods are Haunted" but also not called that, or, it IS but the other thing. No one knows... Scared yet? Brought to you by the same subset of Travel Channel's channel channels, that birthed Mountain Monsters, "Haunted Terror Pargin" explores the real life tales of a drunk guy and his quest for lodging... SPOOKY LODGING. A testament to what might possibly be the best storytelling ever committed to video tape! "Woodsy the Forest Terror" will leave you wanting

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dan McQuade to watch "women wrestlers" "fight" in a "competition" conjured up by "Stallone."

Once again, you're going to be required by law to meet your neighbors for ANOTHER awkward conversation after listening to this "fun" episode!

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back David Bell! After "Child of Peach" back in episode 223, the DOGGZZONE was undoubtedly put on MOST federal watch lists. Not good enough. We aim to be on ALL watch lists, so we dug up David Bell to join us as we recap, "The Milky Life" featuring everyone's favorite infant elder, Micky Rooney! Make no mistake, these podcasts are crimes and you're implicit... not to worry, there's plenty of commissary to go around on our tab... and it's allll MILK. Strap on your diaper, we're going to hell.

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Lydia Bugg! Hey 80's kids! We all loved Thriller, we all adored E.T.! Would you believe the spirit of these two titans of 1980's pop culture merged into one hateful sack of fetid audio swill so repugnant that it had to be litigated out of its very existence?? Grab a shovel and join the DOGGZZONE as we excavate the remains of the E.T. audio book read by everyone's favorite megastar hermit pervert, Michael Jackson, (for kids!) ...And we won't stop till we say you've had enough.

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dirk Marshall for REDACTED.

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The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Merritt K! Extra Italian, extra sleepy, extra Estrada, EXTRA LARGE! From the depths of Italian television obscurity comes a spiritual successor to Hunk Week's sweaty slabs of beefy nonsense! Ingredients include extra PUNCH, extra OLD and extra... Winslow? YES! Never before has one man's singular "talent" ever been so underutilized to such great effect! A lumbering clobberfest awaits, set to the extra Euro New Jack Funk of Italy's very own, EXTRA LARGE!

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Gareth Edwards! Ah music, arguably one of mankind's greatest gifts to the world, an incomparable ode to the wonder of existence. "Without music, life would be a mistake." Nietzsche said that, it's in a book! So, what finer fuel to power the machinations of the child grinder that is capitalism? Blood, destitution, audible teeth gnashing.. sure, BUT at a nail bitingly close fourth, MUSIC! Join the DOGGZZONE, sit a spell and take a listen, won't you?

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Zak Koonce! Somewhere between reckless violence, quizzical boredom and a failed Rosetta Stone course, lay DOGFIGHT: Wild Tournament 3! Hop into the fight sedan, now glance at a capoeira poster... you are now wildly overqualified to swing savagely into oblivion with the DOGGZZONE!